THE MAN
By
Bram Stoker
author of “Dracula,” etc.
LONDON: ROBERT
HAYES, LTD.
Sixty-one
Fleet Street, e.c.
Copyright, 1897, in the United States of America, according
to Act of Congress, by Bram Stoker.
CONTENTS:
FORE-GLIMPSE. 3
CHAPTER
I—STEPHEN.. 9
CHAPTER
II—THE HEART OF A CHILD.. 14
CHAPTER
III—HAROLD.. 18
CHAPTER
IV—HAROLD AT NORMANSTAND.. 23
CHAPTER
V—THE CRYPT. 28
CHAPTER
VI—A VISIT TO OXFORD.. 35
CHAPTER
VII—THE NEED OF KNOWING.. 39
CHAPTER
VIII—THE T-CART. 49
CHAPTER
IX—IN THE SPRING.. 56
CHAPTER
X—THE RESOLVE. 60
CHAPTER
XI—THE MEETING.. 65
CHAPTER
XII—ON THE ROAD HOME. 77
CHAPTER
XIII—HAROLD’S RESOLVE. 86
CHAPTER
XIV—THE BEECH GROVE. 93
CHAPTER
XV—THE END OF THE MEETING.. 101
CHAPTER
XVI—A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.. 109
CHAPTER
XVII—A BUSINESS TRANSACTION.. 118
CHAPTER
XVIII—MORE BUSINESS. 123
CHAPTER
XIX—A LETTER.. 130
CHAPTER
XX—CONFIDENCES. 137
CHAPTER
XXI—THE DUTY OF COURTESY.. 144
CHAPTER
XXII—FIXING THE BOUNDS. 151
CHAPTER
XXIII—THE MAN.. 159
CHAPTER
XXIV—FROM THE DEEPS. 165
CHAPTER
XXV—A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD.. 169
CHAPTER
XXVI—A NOBLE OFFER.. 173
CHAPTER
XXVII—AGE’S WISDOM... 180
CHAPTER
XXVIII—DE LANNOY.. 186
CHAPTER
XXIX—THE SILVER LADY.. 191
CHAPTER
XXX—THE LESSON OF THE WILDERNESS. 198
CHAPTER
XXXI—THE LIFE-LINE. 203
CHAPTER
XXXII—‘TO BE GOD AND ABLE TO DO THINGS’ 211
CHAPTER
XXXIII—THE QUEEN’S ROOM... 219
CHAPTER
XXXIV—WAITING.. 230
CHAPTER
XXXV—A CRY.. 239
CHAPTER
XXXVI—LIGHT. 248
CHAPTER
XXXVII—GOLDEN SILENCE. 256
‘I would rather
be an angel than God!’
The voice of the
speaker sounded clearly through the hawthorn tree. The young man and the young
girl who sat together on the low tombstone looked at each other. They had heard
the voices of the two children talking, but had not noticed what they said; it
was the sentiment, not the sound, which roused their attention.
The girl put her
finger to her lips to impress silence, and the man nodded; they sat as still as
mice whilst the two children went on talking.
* * * * *
The scene would
have gladdened a painter’s heart. An old churchyard. The church low and square-towered, with long mullioned windows, the
yellow-grey stone roughened by age and tender-hued with lichens. Round
it clustered many tombstones tilted in all directions. Behind
the church a line of gnarled and twisted yews.
The churchyard
was full of fine trees. On one side a magnificent cedar; on
the other a great copper beech. Here and there among the tombs and
headstones many beautiful blossoming trees rose from the long green grass. The
laburnum glowed in the June afternoon sunlight; the lilac, the hawthorn and the
clustering meadowsweet which fringed the edge of the lazy stream mingled their
heavy sweetness in sleepy fragrance. The yellow-grey crumbling walls were green
in places with wrinkled harts-tongues, and were topped with sweet-williams and
spreading house-leek and stone-crop and wild-flowers whose delicious sweetness
made for the drowsy repose of perfect summer.
But amid all
that mass of glowing colour the two young figures seated on the grey old tomb
stood out conspicuously. The man was in conventional hunting-dress: red coat,
white stock, black hat, white breeches, and top-boots. The girl was one of the
richest, most glowing, and yet withal daintiest figures the eye of man could
linger on. She was in riding-habit of hunting scarlet cloth; her black hat was
tipped forward by piled-up masses red-golden hair. Round her neck was a white
lawn scarf in the fashion of a man’s hunting-stock, close fitting, and sinking
into a gold-buttoned waistcoat of snowy twill. As she sat with the long skirt
across her left arm her tiny black top-boots appeared underneath. Her
gauntleted gloves were of white buckskin; her riding-whip was plaited of white
leather, topped with ivory and banded with gold.
Even in her
fourteenth year Miss Stephen Norman gave promise of striking beauty; beauty of
a rarely composite character. In her the various elements of her race seemed to
have cropped out. The firm-set jaw, with chin broader and more
square than is usual in a woman, and the wide fine forehead and aquiline
nose marked the high descent from Saxon through Norman. The glorious mass of red hair, of the
true flame colour, showed the blood of another ancient ancestor of Northern
race, and suited well with the voluptuous curves of the full, crimson lips. The
purple-black eyes, the raven eyebrows and eyelashes, and the fine curve of the
nostrils spoke of the Eastern blood of the far-back wife of the Crusader.
Already she was tall for her age, with something of that lankiness which marks
the early development of a really fine figure. Long-legged,
long-necked, as straight as a lance, with head poised on the proud neck like a
lily on its stem.
Stephen Norman
certainly gave promise of a splendid womanhood. Pride, self-reliance and
dominance were marked in every feature; in her bearing and in her lightest
movement.
Her companion,
Harold An Wolf, was some five years her senior, and by means of those five years
and certain qualities had long stood in the position of her mentor. He was more
than six feet two in height, deep-chested, broad-shouldered, lean-flanked,
long-armed and big-handed. He had that appearance strength, with well-poised
neck and forward set of the head, which marks the successful athlete.
The two sat
quiet, listening. Through the quiet hum of afternoon came the voices of the two
children. Outside the lich-gate, under the shade of the spreading cedar, the
horses stamped occasionally as the flies troubled them. The grooms were
mounted; one held the delicate-limbed white Arab, the other the great black
horse.
‘I would rather
be an angel than God!’
The little girl
who made the remark was an ideal specimen of the village Sunday-school child.
Blue-eyed, rosy-cheeked, thick-legged, with her straight brown hair tied into a
hard bunch with a much-creased, cherry-coloured ribbon. A glance at the girl
would have satisfied the most sceptical as to her goodness. Without being in
any way smug she was radiant with self-satisfaction and well-doing. A child of the people; an early riser; a help to her mother; a good
angel to her father; a little mother to her brothers and sisters; cleanly in
mind and body; self-reliant, full of faith, cheerful.
The other little
girl was prettier, but of a more stubborn type; more passionate, less
organised, and infinitely more assertive. Black-haired,
black-eyed, swarthy, large-mouthed, snub-nosed; the very type and essence of
unrestrained, impulsive, emotional, sensual nature. A seeing eye would
have noted inevitable danger for the early years of her womanhood. She seemed
amazed by the self-abnegation implied by her companion’s statement; after a
pause she replied:
‘I wouldn’t! I’d
rather be up at the top of everything and give orders to the angels if I chose.
I can’t think, Marjorie, why you’d rather take orders than give them.’
‘That’s just it,
Susan. I don’t want to give orders; I’d rather obey them. It must be very
terrible to have to think of things so much, that you want everything done your
own way. And besides, I shouldn’t like to have to be just!’
‘Why not?’ the
voice was truculent, though there was wistfulness in it also.
‘Oh Susan. Just fancy having to punish; for of course justice needs punishing as
well as praising. Now an angel has such a nice time, helping people and
comforting them, and bringing sunshine into dark places. Putting down fresh dew
every morning; making the flowers grow, and bringing babies and taking care of
them till their mothers find them. Of course God is very good and very sweet
and very merciful, but oh, He must be very terrible.’
‘All the same I
would rather be God and able to do things!’
Then the
children moved off out of earshot. The two seated on the tombstone looked after
them. The first to speak was the girl, who said:
‘That’s very
sweet and good of Marjorie; but do you know, Harold, I like Susie’s idea
better.’
‘Which idea was
that, Stephen?’
‘Why, didn’t you
notice what she said: “I’d like to be God and be able to do things”?’
‘Yes,’ he said after
a moment’s reflection. ‘That’s a fine idea in the abstract; but I doubt of its
happiness in the long-run.’
‘Doubt of its
happiness? Come now? what could there be better, after
all? Isn’t it good enough to be God? What more do you want?’
The girl’s tone
was quizzical, but her great black eyes blazed with some thought of sincerity
which lay behind the fun. The young man shook his head with a smile of kindly
tolerance as he answered:
‘It isn’t
that—surely you must know it. I’m ambitious enough, goodness knows; but there
are bounds to satisfy even me. But I’m not sure that the good little thing
isn’t right. She seemed, somehow, to hit a bigger truth than she knew: “fancy
having to be just.”’
‘I don’t see
much difficulty in that. Anyone can be just!’
‘Pardon me,’ he
answered, ‘there is perhaps nothing so difficult in the whole range of a man’s
work.’ There was distinct defiance in the girl’s eyes as she asked:
‘A man’s work! Why a man’s work? Isn’t it a woman’s work also?’
‘Well, I suppose
it ought to be, theoretically; practically it isn’t.’
‘And why not,
pray?’ The mere suggestion of any disability of woman as such aroused immediate
antagonism. Her companion suppressed a smile as he answered deliberately:
‘Because, my
dear Stephen, the Almighty has ordained that justice is not a virtue women can
practise. Mind, I do not say women are unjust. Far from it, where there are no
interests of those dear to them they can be of a sincerity of justice that can
make a man’s blood run cold. But justice in the abstract is not an ordinary
virtue: it has to be considerate as well as stern, and above all interest of
all kinds and of every one—’ The girl interrupted
hotly:
‘I don’t agree
with you at all. You can’t give an instance where women are unjust. I don’t
mean of course individual instances, but classes of cases where injustice is
habitual.’ The suppressed smile cropped out now unconsciously
round the man’s lips in a way which was intensely aggravating to the
girl.
‘I’ll give you a
few,’ he said. ‘Did you ever know a mother just to a boy who beat her own boy
at school?’ The girl replied quietly:
‘Ill-treatment
and bullying are subjects for punishment, not justice.’
‘Oh, I don’t
mean that kind of beating. I mean getting the prizes their own boys contended
for; getting above them in class; showing superior powers in running or cricket
or swimming, or in any of the forms of effort in which boys vie with each
other.’ The girl reflected, then she spoke:
‘Well, you may
be right. I don’t altogether admit it, but I accept it as not on my side. But
this is only one case.’
‘A pretty common one. Do you think that Sheriff of Galway, who in default
of a hangman hanged his son with his own hands, would have done so if he had
been a woman?’ The girl answered at once:
‘Frankly, no. I don’t suppose the mother was ever born who would do such a thing. But
that is not a common case, is it? Have you any other?’ The young man paused
before he spoke:
‘There is
another, but I don’t think I can go into it fairly with you.’
‘Why not?’
‘Well, because
after all you know, Stephen, you are only a girl and you can’t be expected to
know.’ The girl laughed:
‘Well, if it’s
anything about women surely a girl, even of my tender age, must know something
more of it, or be able to guess at, than any young man can. However, say what
you think and I’ll tell you frankly if I agree—that is if a woman can be just,
in such a matter.’
‘Shortly the
point is this: Can a woman be just to another woman, or to a man for the matter
of that, where either her own affection or a fault of the other is concerned?’
‘I don’t see any
reason to the contrary. Surely pride alone should ensure justice in the former
case, and the consciousness of superiority in the other.’ The young man shook
his head:
‘Pride and the consciousness of superiority! Are they not much the
same thing. But whether or no, if either of them has
to be relied on, I’m afraid the scales of Justice would want regulating, and
her sword should be blunted in case its edge should be turned back on herself. I have an idea that although pride might be a
guiding principle with you individually, it would be a failure with the
average. However, as it would be in any case a rule subject to many exceptions
I must let it go.’
Harold looked at
his watch and rose. Stephen followed him; transferring her whip into the hand
which held up the skirt, she took his arm with her right hand in the pretty way
in which a young girl clings to her elders. Together they went out at the
lich-gate. The groom drew over with the horses. Stephen patted hers and gave
her a lump of sugar. Then putting her foot into Harold’s ready hand she sprang
lightly into the saddle. Harold swung himself into his saddle with the
dexterity of an accomplished rider.
As the two rode
up the road, keeping on the shady side under the trees, Stephen said quietly,
half to herself, as if the sentence had impressed
itself on her mind:
‘To be God and able to do things!’
Harold rode on
in silence. The chill of some vague fear was upon him.
Stephen Norman
of Normanstand had remained a bachelor until close on middle age, when the fact
took hold of him that there was no immediate heir to his great estate. Whereupon, with his wonted decision, he set about looking for a
wife.
He had been a
close friend of his next neighbour, Squire Rowly, ever since their college
days. They had, of course, been often in each other’s houses, and Rowly’s young
sister—almost a generation younger than himself, and the sole fruit of his
father’s second marriage—had been like a little sister to him too. She had, in
the twenty years which had elapsed, grown to be a sweet and beautiful young
woman. In all the past years, with the constant opportunity which friendship
gave of close companionship, the feeling never altered. Squire Norman would have
been surprised had he been asked to describe Margaret Rowly and found himself
compelled to present the picture of a woman, not a child.
Now, however,
when his thoughts went womanward and wifeward, he awoke to the fact that
Margaret came within the category of those he sought. His usual decision ran
its course. Semi-brotherly feeling gave place to a stronger and perhaps more
selfish feeling. Before he even knew it, he was head over ears in love with his
pretty neighbour.
Norman was a fine man, stalwart
and handsome; his forty years sat so lightly on him that his age never seemed
to come into question in a woman’s mind. Margaret had always liked him and
trusted him; he was the big brother who had no duty in the way of scolding to
do. His presence had always been a gladness; and the
sex of the girl, first unconsciously then consciously, answered to the man’s
overtures, and her consent was soon obtained.
When in the
fulness of time it was known that an heir was expected, Squire Norman took for
granted that the child would be a boy, and held the idea so tenaciously that
his wife, who loved him deeply, gave up warning and remonstrance after she had
once tried to caution him against too fond a hope. She saw how bitterly he
would be disappointed in case it should prove to be a girl. He was, however, so
fixed on the point that she determined to say no more. After all, it might be a
boy; the chances were equal. The Squire would not listen to any one else at
all; so as the time went on his idea was more firmly fixed than ever. His
arrangements were made on the base that he would have a son. The name was of
course decided. Stephen had been the name of all the Squires of Normanstand for
ages—as far back as the records went; and Stephen the new heir of course would
be.
Like all
middle-aged men with young wives he was supremely anxious as the time drew
near. In his anxiety for his wife his belief in the son became passive rather
than active. Indeed, the idea of a son was so deeply fixed in his mind that it
was not disturbed even by his anxiety for the young wife he idolised.
When instead of
a son a daughter was born, the Doctor and the nurse, who knew his views on the
subject, held back from the mother for a little the knowledge of the sex. Dame
Norman was so weak that the Doctor feared lest anxiety as to how her husband
would bear the disappointment, might militate against
her. Therefore the Doctor sought the Squire in his study, and went resolutely
at his task.
‘Well, Squire, I
congratulate you on the birth of your child!’ Norman was of course struck with the use of
the word ‘child’; but the cause of his anxiety was manifested by his first
question:
‘How is she,
Doctor? Is she safe?’ The child was after all of secondary importance! The
Doctor breathed more freely; the question had lightened his task. There was,
therefore, more assurance in his voice as he answered:
‘She is safely
through the worst of her trouble, but I am greatly anxious yet. She is very
weak. I fear anything that might upset her.’
The Squire’s
voice came quick and strong:
‘There must be
no upset! And now tell me about my son?’ He spoke the last word half with
pride, half bashfully.
‘Your son is a
daughter!’ There was silence for so long that the Doctor began to be anxious.
Squire Norman sat quite still; his right hand resting on the writing-table
before him became clenched so hard that the knuckles looked white and the veins
red. After a long slow breath he spoke:
‘She, my
daughter, is well?’ The Doctor answered with cheerful alacrity:
‘Splendid!—I
never saw a finer child in my life. She will be a comfort and an honour to
you!’ The Squire spoke again:
‘What does her
mother think? I suppose she’s very proud of her?’
‘She does not
know yet that it is a girl. I thought it better not to let her know till I had
told you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because—because—Norman,
old friend, you know why! Because you had set your heart on a son; and I know
how it would grieve that sweet young wife and mother to feel your
disappointment. I want your lips to be the first to tell her; so that on may
assure her of your happiness in that a daughter has been born to you.’
The Squire put
out his great hand and laid it on the other’s shoulder. There was almost a
break in his voice as he said:
‘Thank you, my
old friend, my true friend, for your thought. When may
I see her?’
‘By right, not yet. But, as knowing your views, she may fret herself
till she knows, I think you had better come at once.’
All Norman’s love and
strength combined for his task. As he leant over and kissed his young wife
there was real fervour in his voice as he said:
‘Where is my
dear daughter that you may place her in my arms?’ For an instant there came a
chill to the mother’s heart that her hopes had been so far disappointed; but
then came the reaction of her joy that her husband, her baby’s father, was
pleased. There was a heavenly dawn of red on her pale face as she drew her
husband’s head down and kissed him.
‘Oh, my dear,’
she said, ‘I am so happy that you are pleased!’ The nurse took the mother’s
hand gently and held it to the baby as she laid it in the father’s arms.
He held the
mother’s hand as he kissed the baby’s brow.
The Doctor
touched him gently on the arm and beckoned him away. He went with careful
footsteps, looking behind as he went.
After dinner he
talked with the Doctor on various matters; but presently he asked:
‘I suppose,
Doctor, it is no sort of rule that the first child regulates the sex of a
family?’
‘No, of course not. Otherwise how should we see boys and girls mixed in
one family, as is nearly always the case. But, my
friend,’ he went on, ‘you must not build hopes so far away. I have to tell you
that your wife is far from strong. Even now she is not so
well as I could wish, and there yet may be change.’ The Squire leaped
impetuously to his feet as he spoke quickly:
‘Then why are we
waiting here? Can nothing be done? Let us have the best help, the best advice
in the world.’ The Doctor raised his hand.
‘Nothing can be
done as yet. I have only fear.’
‘Then let us be
ready in case your fears should be justified! Who are the best men in London to help in such a
case?’ The Doctor mentioned two names; and within a few minutes a mounted
messenger was galloping to Norcester, the nearest telegraph centre. The
messenger was to arrange for a special train if necessary. Shortly afterwards
the Doctor went again to see his patient. After a long absence he came back,
pale and agitated. Norman
felt his heart sink when he saw him; a groan broke from him as the Doctor
spoke:
‘She is much
worse! I am in great fear that she may pass away before the morning!’ The
Squire’s strong voice was clouded, with a hoarse veil as he asked:
‘May I see her?’
‘Not yet; at
present she is sleeping. She may wake strengthened; in which case you may see
her. But if not—’
‘If not?’—the voice was not like his own.
‘Then I shall
send for you at once!’ The Doctor returned to his vigil. The Squire, left
alone, sank on his knees, his face in his hands; his great shoulders shook with
the intensity of his grief.
An hour or more
passed before he heard hurried steps. He sprang to the door:
‘Well?’
‘You had better
come now.’
‘Is she better?’
‘Alas! no. I fear her minutes are numbered. School yourself, my
dear old friend! God will help you in this bitter hour. All you can do now is
to make her last moments happy.’
‘I know! I
know!’ he answered in a voice so calm that his companion wondered.
When they came
into the room Margaret was dozing. When her eyes opened and she found her
husband beside her bed there spread over her face a glad look; which, alas! soon changed to one of pain. She motioned to him to bend
down. He knelt and put his head beside her on the pillow; his arms went
tenderly round her as though by his iron devotion and strength he would shield
her from all harm. Her voice came very low and in broken gasps; she was
summoning all her strength that she might speak:
‘My dear, dear
husband, I am so sad at leaving you! You have made me so happy, and I love you
so! Forgive me, dear, for the pain I know you will suffer when I am gone! And
oh, Stephen, I know you will cherish our little one—yours and mine—when I am
gone. She will have no mother; you will have to be father and mother too.’
‘I will hold her
in my very heart’s core, my darling, as I hold you!’ He could hardly speak from
emotion. She went on:
‘And oh, my
dear, you will not grieve that she is not a son to carry on your name?’ And
then a sudden light came into her eyes; and there was exultation in her weak
voice as she said:
‘She is to be
our only one; let her be indeed our son! Call her the name we both love!’ For
answer he rose and laid his hand very, very tenderly on the babe as he said:
‘This dear one,
my sweet wife, who will carry your soul in her breast, will be my son; the only
son I shall ever have. All my life long I shall, please Almighty God, so love
her—our little Stephen—as you and I love each other!’
She laid her
hand on his so that it touched at once her husband and her child. Then she
raised the other weak arm, and placed it round his neck, and their lips met.
Her soul went out in this last kiss.
For some weeks
after his wife’s death Squire Norman was overwhelmed with grief. He made a
brave effort, however, to go through the routine of his life; and succeeded so
far that he preserved an external appearance of bearing his loss with
resignation. But within, all was desolation.
Little Stephen
had winning ways which sent deep roots into her father’s heart. The little
bundle of nerves which the father took into his arms must have realised with
all its senses that, in all that it saw and heard and touched, there was
nothing but love and help and protection. Gradually the trust was followed by
expectation. If by some chance the father was late in coming to the nursery the
child would grow impatient and cast persistent, longing glances at the door.
When he came all was joy.
Time went
quickly by, and Norman
was only recalled to its passing by the growth of his child. Seedtime and
harvest, the many comings of nature’s growth were such commonplaces to him, and
had been for so many years, that they made on him no impressions of comparison.
But his baby was one and one only. Any change in it was not only in itself a
new experience, but brought into juxtaposition what is with what was. The
changes that began to mark the divergence of sex were positive shocks to him,
for they were unexpected. In the very dawn of babyhood dress had no special
import; to his masculine eyes sex was lost in youth. But, little by little, came the tiny changes which convention has established. And
with each change came to Squire Norman the growing realisation that his child
was a woman. A tiny woman, it is true, and requiring more care and protection
and devotion than a bigger one; but still a woman. The pretty little ways, the
eager caresses, the graspings and holdings of the childish hands, the little
roguish smiles and pantings and flirtings were all but repetitions in little of
the dalliance of long ago. The father, after all, reads in the same book in
which the lover found his knowledge.
At first there
was through all his love for his child a certain resentment of her sex. His old
hope of a son had been rooted too deeply to give way easily. But
when the conviction came, and with it the habit of its acknowledgment, there
came also a certain resignation, which is the halting-place for satisfaction.
But he never, not then nor afterwards, quite lost the old belief that Stephen
was indeed a son. Could there ever have been a doubt,
the remembrance of his wife’s eyes and of her faint voice, of her hope and her
faith, as she placed her baby in his arms would have refused it a
resting-place. This belief tinged all his after-life and moulded his policy
with regard to his girl’s upbringing. If she was to be indeed his son as well
as his daughter, she must from the first be accustomed to boyish as well as to
girlish ways. This, in that she was an only child, was not a difficult matter
to accomplish. Had she had brothers and sisters, matters of her sex would soon
have found their own level.
There was one
person who objected strongly to any deviation from the conventional rule of a
girl’s education. This was Miss Laetitia Rowly, who took after a time, in so
far as such a place could be taken, that of the child’s mother. Laetitia Rowly
was a young aunt of Squire Rowly of Norwood;
the younger sister of his father and some sixteen years his own senior. When
the old Squire’s second wife had died, Laetitia, then a conceded spinster of
thirty-six, had taken possession of the young Margaret. When Margaret had
married Squire Norman, Miss Rowly was well satisfied; for she had known Stephen
Norman all her life. Though she could have wished a younger bridegroom for her
darling, she knew it would be hard to get a better man or one of more suitable
station in life. Also she knew that Margaret loved him, and the woman who had
never found the happiness of mutual love in her own life found a pleasure in
the romance of true love, even when the wooer was middle-aged. She had been
travelling in the Far East when the belated
news of Margaret’s death came to her. When she had arrived home she announced
her intention of taking care of Margaret’s child, just as she had taken care of
Margaret. For several reasons this could not be done in the same way. She was
not old enough to go and live at Normanstand without exciting comment; and the
Squire absolutely refused to allow that his daughter should live anywhere
except in his own house. Educational supervision,
exercised at such distance and so intermittently, could neither be complete nor
exact.
Though Stephen
was a sweet child she was a wilful one, and very early in life manifested a
dominant nature. This was a secret pleasure to her father, who, never losing
sight of his old idea that she was both son and daughter, took pleasure as well
as pride out of each manifestation of her imperial will. The keen instinct of
childhood, which reasons in feminine fashion, and is therefore doubly effective
in a woman-child, early grasped the possibilities of her own will. She learned
the measure of her nurse’s foot and then of her father’s; and so, knowing where
lay the bounds of possibility of the achievement of her wishes, she at once
avoided trouble and learned how to make the most of the space within the limit
of her tether.
It is not those
who ‘cry for the Moon’ who go furthest or get most in this limited world of
ours. Stephen’s pretty ways and unfailing good temper were a perpetual joy to
her father; and when he found that as a rule her desires were reasonable, his
wish to yield to them became a habit.
Miss Rowly seldom
saw any individual thing to disapprove of. She it was who selected the
governesses and who interviewed them from time to time as to the child’s
progress. Not often was there any complaint, for the little thing had such a
pretty way of showing affection, and such a manifest sense of justified trust
in all whom she encountered, that it would have been hard to name a specific
fault.
But though all
went in tears of affectionate regret, and with eminently satisfactory
emoluments and references, there came an irregularly timed succession of
governesses.
Stephen’s
affection for her ‘Auntie’ was never affected by any of the changes. Others
might come and go, but there no change came. The child’s little hand would
steal into one of the old lady’s strong ones, or would clasp a finger and hold
it tight. And then the woman who had never had a child of her own would feel,
afresh each time, as though the child’s hand was gripping her heart.
With her father
she was sweetest of all. And as he seemed to be pleased when she did anything
like a little boy, the habit of being like one insensibly grew on her.
An only child
has certain educational difficulties. The true learning is not that which we
are taught, but that which we take in for ourselves from experience and observation,
and children’s experiences and observation, especially of things other than
repressive, are mainly of children. The little ones teach each other. Brothers
and sisters are more with each other than are ordinary playmates, and in the
familiarity of their constant intercourse some of the great lessons, so useful
in after-life, are learned. Little Stephen had no means of learning the wisdom
of give-and-take. To her everything was given, given bountifully and
gracefully. Graceful acceptance of good things came to her naturally, as it
does to one who is born to be a great lady. The children of the farmers in the
neighbourhood, with whom at times she played, were in such habitual awe of the
great house, that they were seldom sufficiently at
ease to play naturally. Children cannot be on equal terms on special occasions
with a person to whom they have been taught to bow or courtesy as a public
habit. The children of neighbouring landowners, who were few and far between,
and of the professional people in Norcester, were at such times as Stephen met
them, generally so much on their good behaviour, that the spontaneity of play,
through which it is that sharp corners of individuality are knocked off or worn
down, did not exist.
And so Stephen
learned to read in the Book of Life; though only on one side of it. At the age
of six she had, though surrounded with loving care and instructed by skilled
teachers, learned only the accepting side of life. Giving of course there was
in plenty, for the traditions of Normanstand were royally benevolent; many a
blessing followed the little maid’s footsteps as she accompanied some timely
aid to the sick and needy sent from the Squire’s house. Moreover, her Aunt
tried to inculcate certain maxims founded on that noble one that it is more
blessed to give than to receive. But of giving in its true sense: the giving
that which we want for ourselves, the giving that is as a temple built on the
rock of self-sacrifice, she knew nothing. Her sweet and spontaneous nature,
which gave its love and sympathy so readily, was almost a bar to education: it
blinded the eyes that would have otherwise seen any defect that wanted
altering, any evil trait that needed repression, any lagging virtue that
required encouragement—or the spur.
Squire Norman
had a clerical friend whose rectory of Carstone lay some thirty miles from
Normanstand. Thirty miles is not a great distance for railway travel; but it is
a long drive. The days had not come, nor were they ever likely to come, for the
making of a railway between the two places. For a good many years the two men
had met in renewal of their old University days. Squire Norman and Dr. An Wolf
had been chums at Trinity, Cambridge,
and the boyish friendship had ripened and lasted. When Harold An Wolf had put
in his novitiate in a teeming Midland manufacturing town, it was Norman’s influence which
obtained the rectorship for his friend. It was not often that they could meet,
for An Wolf’s work, which, though not very exacting, had to be done single-handed,
kept him to his post. Besides, he was a good scholar and eked out a small
income by preparing a few pupils for public school. An occasional mid-week
visit to Normanstand in the slack time of school work on the Doctor’s part, and
now and again a drive by Norman over to the rectory, returning the next day,
had been for a good many years the measure of their meeting. Then An Wolf’s
marriage and the birth of a son had kept him closer to home. Mrs. An Wolf had
been killed in a railway accident a couple of years after her only child had
been born; and at the time Norman had gone over to render any assistance in his
power to the afflicted man, and to give him what was under the circumstances
his best gift, sympathy. After an interval of a few years the Squire’s
courtship and marriage, at which his old friend had assisted, had confined his
activities to a narrower circle. The last time they had met was when An Wolf
had come over to Norcester to aid in the burial of his friend’s wife. In the
process of years, however, the shadow over Norman’s life had begun to soften; when his
baby had grown to be something of a companion, they met again. Norman, ‘who had
never since his wife’s death been able to tear himself, even for a night, away
from Normanstand and Stephen, wrote to his old friend asking him to come to
him. An Wolf gladly promised, and for a week of
growing expectation the Squire looked forward to their meeting. Each found the
other somewhat changed, in all but their old affection.
An Wolf was delighted with the little Stephen. Her dainty beauty seemed to
charm him; and the child, seeming to realise what pleasure she was giving,
exercised all her little winning ways. The rector, who knew more of children
than did his, friend, told her as she sat on his knee of a very interesting
person: his own son. The child listened, interested at first, then enraptured.
She asked all kinds of questions; and the father’s eyes brightened as he gladly
answered the pretty sympathetic child, already deep in his heart for her father’s
sake. He told her about the boy who was so big and strong, and who could run
and leap and swim and play cricket and football better than any other boy with
whom he played. When, warmed himself by the keen interest of the little girl,
and seeing her beautiful black eyes beginning to glow, he too woke to the glory
of the time; and all the treasured moments of the father’s lonely heart gave
out their store. And the other father, thrilled with delight because of his
baby’s joy with, underlying all, an added pleasure that the little Stephen’s
interest was in sports that were for boys, looked on approvingly, now and again
asking questions himself in furtherance of the child’s wishes.
All the
afternoon they sat in the garden, close to the stream that came out of the rock, and An Wolf told father’s tales of his only son. Of the great cricket match with Castra Puerorum when he had made a
hundred not out. Of the school races when he had won so many prizes. Of the swimming match in the Islam River
when, after he had won the race and had dressed himself, he went into the water
in his clothes to help some children who had upset a boat. How when
Widow Norton’s only son could not be found, he dived into the deep hole of the
intake of the milldam of the great Carstone mills where Wingate the farrier had
been drowned. And how, after diving twice without success, he had insisted on
going down the third time though people had tried to hold him back; and how he
had brought up in his arms the child all white and so near death that they had
to put him in the ashes of the baker’s oven before he could be brought back to
life.
When her nurse
came to take her to bed, she slid down from her father’s knee and coming over
to Dr. An Wolf, gravely held out her hand and said: ‘Good-bye!’ Then she kissed
him and said:
‘Thank you so
much, Mr. Harold’s daddy. Won’t you come soon again, and tell us more?’ Then
she jumped again upon her father’s knee and hugged him round the neck and
kissed him, and whispered in his ear:
‘Daddy, please
make Mr. Harold’s daddy when he comes again, bring Harold with him!’
After all it is
natural for women to put the essence of the letter in the postscript!
Two weeks
afterwards Dr. An Wolf came again and brought Harold with him. The time had
gone heavily with little Stephen when she knew that Harold was coming with his
father. Stephen had been all afire to see the big boy whose feats had so much
interested her, and for a whole week had flooded Mrs. Jarrold with questions
which she was unable to answer. At last the time came and she went out to the
hall door with her father to welcome the guests. At the top of the great
granite steps, down which in time of bad weather the white awning ran, she
stood holding her father’s hand and waving a welcome.
‘Good morning,
Harold! Good morning, Mr. Harold’s daddy!’
The meeting was
a great pleasure to both the children, and resulted in an immediate friendship.
The small girl at once conceived a great admiration for the big, strong boy
nearly twice her age and more than twice her size. At her time of life the
convenances are not, and love is a thing to be spoken out at once and in the
open. Mrs. Jarrold, from the moment she set eyes on him, liked the big
kindly-faced boy who treated her like a lady, and who stood awkwardly blushing
and silent in the middle of the nursery listening to the tiny child’s proffers
of affection. For whatever kind of love it is that boys are capable of, Harold
had fallen into it. ‘Calf-love’ is a thing habitually treated with contempt. It
may be ridiculous; but all the same it is a serious reality—to the calf.
Harold’s
new-found affection was as deep as his nature. An only child who had in his
memory nothing of a mother’s love, his naturally affectionate nature had in his
childish days found no means of expression. A man child can hardly pour out his
full heart to a man, even a father or a comrade; and this child had not, in a
way, the consolations of other children. His father’s secondary occupation of
teaching brought other boys to the house and necessitated a domestic routine
which had to be exact. There was no place for little girls in a boys’ school;
and though many of Dr. An Wolf’s friends who were mothers made much of the
pretty, quiet boy, and took him to play with their children, he never seemed to
get really intimate with them. The equality of companionship was wanting. Boys
he knew, and with them he could hold his own and yet be on affectionate terms.
But girls were strange to him, and in their presence he was shy. With this lack
of understanding of the other sex, grew up a sort of awe of it. His
opportunities of this kind of study were so few that the view never could
become rectified.
And so it was
that from his boyhood up to his twelfth year, Harold’s knowledge of girlhood
never increased nor did his awe diminish. When his father had told him all
about his visit to Normanstand and of the invitation which had been extended to
him there came first awe, then doubt, then expectation. Between Harold and his
father there was love and trust and sympathy. The father’s married love so soon
cut short found expression towards his child; and between them there had never
been even the shadow of a cloud. When his father told him how pretty the little
Stephen was, how dainty, how sweet, he began to picture her in his mind’s eye
and to be bashfully excited over meeting her.
His first
glimpse of Stephen was, he felt, one that he never could forget. She had made
up her mind that she would let Harold see what she could do. Harold could fly
kites and swim and play cricket; she could not do any of these, but she could
ride. Harold should see her pony, and see her riding him all by herself. And
there would be another pony for Harold, a big, big, big one—she had spoken
about its size herself to Topham, the stud-groom. She had coaxed her daddy into
promising that after lunch she should take Harold riding. To this end she had
made ready early. She had insisted on putting on the red riding habit which
Daddy had given her for her birthday, and now she stood on the top of the steps
all glorious in hunting pink, with the habit held over her arms, with the tiny
hunting-hoots all shiny underneath. She had no hat on, and her beautiful hair
of golden red shone in its glory. But even it was almost outshone by the joyous
flush on her cheeks as she stood waving the little hand that did not hold
Daddy’s. She was certainly a picture to dream of! Her father’s eyes lost
nothing of her dainty beauty. He was so proud of her that he almost forgot to
wish that she had been a boy. The pleasure he felt in her appearance was
increased by the fact that her dress was his own idea.
During luncheon
Stephen was fairly silent; she usually chattered all through as freely as a
bird sings. Stephen was silent because the occasion was important. Besides,
Daddy wasn’t all alone, and therefore had not to be
cheered up. Also—this in postscript form—Harold was silent! In her present
frame of mind Harold could do no wrong, and what Harold did was right. She was
unconsciously learning already a lesson from his presence.
That evening
when going to bed she came to say good-night to Daddy. After she had kissed him
she also kissed ‘old Mr. Harold,’ as she now called him, and as a matter of
course kissed Harold also. He coloured up at once. It was the first time a girl
had ever kissed him.
The next day
from early morning until bed-time was one long joy to Stephen, and there were
few things of interest that Harold had not been shown; there were few of the
little secrets which had not been shared with him as they went about hand in
hand. Like all manly boys Harold was good to little children and patient with
them. He was content to follow Stephen about and obey all her behests. He had
fallen in love with her to the very bottom of his boyish heart.
When the guests
were going, Stephen stood with her father on the steps to see them off. When
the carriage had swept behind the farthest point in the long avenue, and when
Harold’s cap waving from the window could no longer be seen, Squire Norman
turned to go in, but paused in obedience to the unconscious restraint of
Stephen’s hand. He waited patiently till with a long sigh she turned to him and
they went in together.
That night
before she went to bed Stephen came and sat on her father’s knee, and after
sundry pattings and kissings whispered in his ear:
‘Daddy, wouldn’t
it be nice if Harold could come here altogether? Couldn’t you ask him to? And
old Mr. Harold could come too. Oh, I wish he was here!’
Two years
afterwards a great blow fell upon Harold. His father, who had been suffering
from repeated attacks of influenza, was, when in the low condition following
this, seized with pneumonia, to which in a few days he succumbed. Harold was
heart-broken. The affection which had been between him and his father had been
so consistent that he had never known a time when it was not.
When Squire
Norman had returned to the house with him after the funeral, he sat in silence
holding the boy’s hand till he had wept his heart out. By this time the two
were old friends, and the boy was not afraid or too shy to break down before
him. There was sufficient of the love of the old generation to begin with trust
in the new.
Presently, when
the storm was past and Harold had become his own man again, Norman said:
‘And now, Harold,
I want you to listen to me. You know, my dear boy, that
I am your father’s oldest friend, and right sure I am that he would approve of
what I say. You must come home with me to live. I know that in his last hours
the great concern of your dear father’s heart would have been for the future of
his boy. And I know, too, that it was a comfort to him to feel that you and I
are such friends, and that the son of my dearest old friend would be as a son
to me. We have been friends, you and I, a long time, Harold; and we have
learned to trust, and I hope to love, one another. And you and my little
Stephen are such friends already that your coming into the house will be a joy
to us all. Why, long ago, when first you came, she said to me the night you
went away: “Daddy, wouldn’t it be nice if Harold could come here altogether?”’
And so Harold An
Wolf came back with the Squire to Normanstand, and
from that day on became a member of his house, and as a son to him. Stephen’s
delight at his coming was of course largely qualified by her sympathy with his
grief; but it would have been hard to give him more comfort than she did in her
own pretty way. Putting her lips to his she kissed him, and holding his big
hand in both of her little ones, she whispered softly:
‘Poor Harold! You and I should love each other, for we have both lost our mother. And
now you have lost your father. But you must let my dear daddy be yours too!’
At this time
Harold was between fourteen and fifteen years old. He was well educated in so
far as private teaching went. His father had devoted much care to him, so that
he was well grounded in all the Academic branches of learning. He was also, for
his years, an expert in most manly exercises. He could ride anything, shoot
straight, fence, run, jump or swim with any boy more than his age and size.
In Normanstand
his education was continued by the rector. The Squire used often to take him
with him when he went to ride, or fish, or shoot; frankly telling him that as
his daughter was, as yet, too young to be his companion in these matters, he
would act as her locum tenens. His living in the house and his helping as he
did in Stephen’s studies made familiarity perpetual. He was just enough her
senior to command her childish obedience; and there were certain qualities in
his nature which were eminently calculated to win and keep the respect of women
as well as of men. He was the very incarnation of sincerity, and had now and
again, in certain ways, a sublime self-negation which, at times, seemed in
startling contrast to a manifestly militant nature. When at school he had often
been involved in fights which were nearly always on matters of principle, and
by a sort of unconscious chivalry he was generally found fighting on the weaker
side. Harold’s father had been very proud of his ancestry, which was Gothic
through the Dutch, as the manifestly corrupted prefix of the original name
implied, and he had gathered from a constant study of the Sagas something of
the philosophy which lay behind the ideas of the Vikings.
This new stage
of Harold’s life made for quicker development than any which had gone before.
Hitherto he had not the same sense of responsibility. To obey is in itself a
relief; and as it is an actual consolation to weak natures, so it is only a
retarding of the strong. Now he had another individuality to think of. There
was in his own nature a vein of anxiety of which the subconsciousness of his
own strength threw up the outcrop.
Little Stephen with the instinct of her sex discovered before long this
weakness. For it is a weakness when any quality can be assailed
or used. The using of a man’s weakness is not always coquetry; but it is
something very like it. Many a time the little girl, who looked up to and
admired the big boy who could compel her to anything when he was so minded,
would, for her own ends, work on his sense of responsibility, taking an elfin
delight in his discomfiture.
The result of
Stephen’s harmless little coquetries was that Harold had occasionally either to
thwart some little plan of daring, or else cover up
its results. In either case her confidence in him grew, so that before long he
became an established fact in her life, a being in whose power and discretion
and loyalty she had absolute, blind faith. And this feeling seemed to grow with
her own growth. Indeed at one time it came to be more
than an ordinary faith. It happened thus:
The old Church of St. Stephen,
which was the parish church
of Normanstand, had a
peculiar interest for the Norman family. There, either within the existing walls
or those which had preceded them when the church was rebuilt by that Sir
Stephen who was standard-bearer to Henry VI., were buried all the direct
members of the line. It was an unbroken record of the inheritors since the
first Sir Stephen, who had his place in the Domesday Book. Without, in the
churchyard close to the church, were buried all such of the collaterals as had
died within hail of Norcester. Some there were of course who, having achieved
distinction in various walks of life, were further honoured by a resting-place
within the chancel. The whole interior was full of records of the family.
Squire Norman was fond of coming to the place; and often from the very
beginning had taken Stephen with him. One of her earliest recollections was
kneeling down with her father, who held her hand in his, whilst with the other
he wiped the tears from his eyes, before a tomb sculptured beautifully in snowy
marble. She never forgot the words he had said to her:
‘You will always
remember, darling, that your dear mother rests in this
sacred place. When I am gone, if you are ever in any trouble come here. Come
alone and open out your heart. You need never fear to ask God for help at the
grave of your mother!’ The child had been impressed, as had been many and many
another of her race. For seven hundred years each child of the house of Norman had been brought
alone by either parent and had heard some such words. The custom had come to be
almost a family ritual, and it never failed to leave its impress in greater or
lesser degree.
Whenever Harold
had in the early days paid a visit to Normanstand, the church had generally
been an objective of their excursions. He was always delighted to go. His love
for his own ancestry made him admire and respect that of others; so that Stephen’s
enthusiasm in the matter was but another cord to bind him to her.
In one of their
excursions they found the door into the crypt open; and nothing would do
Stephen but that they should enter it. To-day, however, they had no light; but
they arranged that on the morrow they would bring candles with them and explore
the place thoroughly. The afternoon of the next day saw them at the door of the
crypt with a candle, which Harold proceeded to light.
Stephen looked on admiringly, and said in a half-conscious way, the
half-consciousness being shown in the implication:
‘You are not
afraid of the crypt?’
‘Not a bit! In
my father’s church there was a crypt, and I was in it several times.’ As he
spoke the memory of the last time he had been there swept over him. He seemed
to see again the many lights, held in hands that were never still, making a
grim gloom where the black shadows were not; to hear again the stamp and
hurried shuffle of the many feet, as the great oak coffin was borne by the
struggling mass of men down the steep stairway and in through the narrow door .
. . And then the hush when voices faded away; and the silence seemed a real
thing, as for a while he stood alone close to the dead father who had been all
in all to him. And once again he seemed to feel the recall to the living world
of sorrow and of light, when his inert hand was taken in the strong loving one
of Squire Norman.
He paused and
drew back.
‘Why don’t you
go on?’ she asked, surprised.
He did not like
to tell her then. Somehow, it seemed out of place. He had often spoken to her
of his father, and she had always been a sympathetic listener; but here, at the
entrance of the grim vault, he did not wish to pain her with his own thoughts
of sorrow and all the terrible memories which the similarity of the place
evoked. And even whilst he hesitated there came to him a thought so laden with
pain and fear that he rejoiced at the pause which gave it to him in time. It
was in that very crypt that Stephen’s mother had been buried, and had they two gone
in, as they had intended, the girl might have seen her mother’s coffin as he
had seen his father’s, but under circumstances which made him shiver. He had
been, as he said, often in the crypt at Carstone; and well he knew the
sordidness of the chamber of death. His imagination was alive as well as his
memory; he shuddered, not for himself, but for Stephen. How could he allow the
girl to suffer in such a way as she might, as she infallibly would, if it were
made apparent to her in such a brutal way? How pitiful, how meanly pitiful, is
the aftermath of death. Well he remembered how many a night he woke in an
agony, thinking of how his father lay in that cold,
silent, dust-strewn vault, in the silence and the dark, with never a ray of
light or hope or love! Gone, abandoned, forgotten by all, save perhaps one
heart which bled . . . He would save little Stephen, if he could, from such a
memory. He would not give any reason for refusing to go in.
He blew out the
candle, and turned the key in the lock, took it out, and put it in his pocket.
‘Come, Stephen!’
he said, ‘let us go somewhere else. We will not go into the crypt to-day!’
‘Why not?’ The lips that spoke were pouted mutinously and the face was flushed. The
imperious little lady was not at all satisfied to give up the cherished
project. For a whole day and night she had, whilst waking, thought of the
coming adventure; the thrill of it was not now to be turned to cold
disappointment without even an explanation. She did not think that Harold was
afraid; that would be ridiculous. But she wondered; and mysteries always
annoyed her. She did not like to be at fault, more especially when other people
knew. All the pride in her revolted.
‘Why not?’ she repeated more imperiously still.
Harold said
kindly:
‘Because, Stephen,
there is really a good reason. Don’t ask me, for I can’t tell you. You must
take it from me that I am right. You know, dear, that I wouldn’t willingly
disappoint you; and I know that you had set your heart on this. But indeed,
indeed I have a good reason.’
Stephen was
really angry now. She was amenable to reason, though she did not consciously
know what reason was; but to accept some one else’s reason blindfold was
repugnant to her nature, even at her then age. She was about to speak angrily,
but looking up she saw that Harold’s mouth was set with marble firmness. So,
after her manner, she acquiesced in the inevitable and said:
‘All right! Harold.’
But in the inner
recesses of her firm-set mind was a distinct intention to visit the vault when
more favourable circumstances would permit.
It was some
weeks before Stephen got the chance she wanted. She knew it would be difficult
to evade Harold’s observation, for the big boy’s acuteness as to facts had
impressed itself on her. It was strange that out of her very trust in Harold
came a form of distrust in others. In the little matter of evading him she
inclined to any one in whom there was his opposite, in whose reliability she
instinctively mistrusted. ‘There is nothing bad or good but thinking makes it
so!’ To enter that crypt, which had seemed so small a matter at first, had now
in process of thinking and wishing and scheming become a thing to be much
desired. Harold saw, or rather felt, that something was in the girl’s mind, and
took for granted that it had something to do with the crypt. But he thought it
better not to say anything lest he should keep awake a desire which he hoped
would die naturally.
One day it was
arranged that Harold should go over to Carstone to see the solicitor who had
wound up his father’s business. He was to stay the night and ride back next
day. Stephen, on hearing of the arrangement, so contrived matters that Master
Everard, the son of a banker who had recently purchased an estate in the
neighbourhood, was asked to come to play with her on the day when Harold left.
It was holiday time at Eton, and he was at
home. Stephen did not mention to Harold the fact of his coming; it was only
from a chance allusion of Mrs. Jarrold before he went that he inferred it. He
did not think the matter of sufficient importance to wonder why Stephen, who
generally told him everything, had not mentioned this.
During their
play, Stephen, after pledging him to secrecy, told Leonard of her intention of
visiting the crypt, and asked him to help her in it. This was an adventure, and
as such commended itself to the schoolboy heart. He entered at once into the
scheme con amore; and the two discussed ways and means. Leonard’s only regret
was that he was associated with a little girl in such a project. It was
something of a blow to his personal vanity, which was a large item in his moral
equipment, that such a project should have been initiated by the girl and not
by himself. He was to get possession of the key and in
the forenoon of the next day he was to be waiting in the churchyard, when
Stephen would join him as soon as she could evade her nurse. She was now more
than eleven, and had less need of being watched than in her earlier years. It
was possible, with strategy, to get away undiscovered for an hour.
* * * * *
At Carstone
Harold got though what he had to do that same afternoon and arranged to start
early in the morning for Normanstand. After an early breakfast he set out on
his thirty-mile journey at eight o’clock. Littlejohn, his horse, was in
excellent form, notwithstanding his long journey of the day before, and with
his nose pointed for home, put his best foot foremost. Harold felt in great
spirits. The long ride the day before had braced him physically, though there
were on his journey times of great sadness when the thought of his father came
back to him and the sense of loss was renewed with each thought of his old
home. But youth is naturally buoyant. His visit to the church, the first thing
on his arrival at Carstone, and his kneeling before the stone made sacred to
his father’s memory, though it entailed a silent gush of tears, did him good,
and even seemed to place his sorrow farther away. When he came again in the
morning before leaving Carstone there were no tears. There was only a holy
memory which seemed to sanctify loss; and his father seemed nearer to him than
ever.
As he drew near
Normanstand he looked forward eagerly to seeing Stephen, and the sight of the
old church lying far below him as he came down the steep road over Alt Hill,
which was the short-cut from Norcester, set his mind working. His visit to the
tomb of his own father made him think of the day when he kept Stephen from
entering the crypt.
The keenest
thought is not always conscious. It was without definite intention that when he
came to the bridle-path Harold turned his horse’s head and rode down to the
churchyard. As he pushed open the door of the church he half expected to see
Stephen; and there was a vague possibility that Leonard Everard might be with
her.
The church was
cool and dim. Coming from the hot glare the August sunshine it seemed, at the
first glance, dark. He looked around, and a sense of relief came over him. The
place was empty.
But even as he
stood, there came a sound which made his heart grow cold. A
cry, muffled, far away and full of anguish; a sobbing cry, which suddenly
ceased.
It was the voice
of Stephen. He instinctively knew where it came from; the crypt. Only for the
experience he had had of her desire to enter the place, he would never have
suspected that it was so close to him. He ran towards the corner where
commenced the steps leading downward. As he reached the spot a figure came
rushing up the steps. A boy in Eton jacket and wide collar,
careless, pale, and agitated. It was Leonard Everard. Harold seized him
as he came.
‘Where is
Stephen?’ he cried in a quick, low voice.
‘In the vault below there. She dropped her light and then took mine, and she
dropped it too. Let me go! Let me go!’ He struggled to get away; but Harold
held him tight.
‘Where are the
matches?’
‘In my pocket. Let me go! Let me go!’
‘Give me
them—this instant!’ He was examining the frightened boy’s waistcoat pockets as
he spoke. When he had got the matches he let the boy go, and ran down the steps
and through the open door into the crypt, calling out as he came:
‘Stephen!
Stephen dear, where are you? It is I—Harold!’ There was no response; his heart
seemed to grow cold and his knees to weaken. The match spluttered and flashed,
and in the momentary glare he saw across the vault, which was not a large
place, a white mass on the ground. He had to go carefully, lest the match
should be blown out by the wind of his passage; but on coming close he saw that
it was Stephen lying senseless in front of a great coffin which rested on a
built-out pile of masonry. Then the match went out. In the flare of the next
one he lit he saw a piece of candle lying on top of the coffin. He seized and
lit it. He was able to think coolly despite his agitation, and knew that light
was the first necessity. The bruised wick was slow to catch; he had to light
another match, his last one, before it flamed. The couple of seconds that the
light went down till the grease melted and the flame leaped again seemed of
considerable length. When the lit candle was placed steadily on top of the
coffin, and a light, dim, though strong enough to see with, spread around, he
stooped and lifted Stephen in his arms. She was quite senseless, and so limp
that a great fear came upon him that she might be dead. He did not waste time,
but carried her across the vault where the door to the church steps stood out
sharp against the darkness, and bore her up into the church. Holding her in one
arm, with the other hand he dragged some long cushions from one of the pews and
spread them on the floor; on these he laid her. His heart was smitten with love
and pity as he looked. She was so helpless; so pitifully helpless! Her arms and
legs were doubled up as though broken, disjointed; the white frock was smeared
with patches of thick dust. Instinctively he stooped and pulled the frock down
and straightened out the arms and feet. He knelt beside her, and felt if her
heart was still beating, a great fear over him, a sick
apprehension. A gush of thankful prayer came from his heart. Thank God! she was alive; he could feel her heart beat, though faintly
underneath his hand. He started to his feet and ran towards the door, seizing
his hat, which lay on a seat. He wanted it to bring back some water. As he
passed out of the door he saw Leonard a little distance off, but took no notice
of him. He ran to the stream, filled his hat with water, and brought it back.
When he came into the church he saw Stephen, already partially restored,
sitting up on the cushions with Leonard supporting her.
He was rejoiced;
but somehow disappointed. He would rather Leonard had not been there. He
remembered—he could not forget—the white face of the boy who fled out of the
crypt leaving Stephen in a faint within, and who had lingered outside the
church door whilst he ran for water. Harold came forward quickly and raised
Stephen, intending to bring her into the fresh air. He had a shrewd idea that
the sight of the sky and God’s greenery would be the best medicine for her
after her fright. He lifted her in his strong arms as he used to do when she
was a very little child and had got tired in their walks together; and carried
her to the door. She lent herself unconsciously to the movement, holding fast
with her arm round his neck as she used to do. In her clinging was the expression
of her trust in him. The little sigh with which she laid her head on his
shoulder was the tribute to his masculine power, and her belief in it. Every
instant her senses were coming back to her more and more. The veil of oblivion
was passing from her half-closed eyes, as the tide of full remembrance swept in
upon her. Her inner nature was expressed in the sequence of her emotions. Her
first feeling was one of her own fault. The sight of Harold and his proximity
recalled to her vividly how he had refused to go into the crypt, and how she
had intentionally deceived him, negatively, as to her intention of doing that
of which he disapproved. Her second feeling was one of justice; and was perhaps
partially evoked by the sight of Leonard, who followed close as Harold brought
her to the door. She did not wish to speak of herself or Harold before him; but
she did not hesitate to speak of him to Harold:
‘You must not
blame Leonard. It was all my fault. I made him come!’
Her generosity appealed to Harold. He was angry with the boy for being there at
all; but more for his desertion of the girl in her trouble.
‘I’m not blaming
him for being with you!’ he said simply. Leonard spoke at once. He had been
waiting to defend himself, for that was what first concerned that young
gentleman; next to his pleasure, his safety most appealed to him.
‘I went to get
help. You had let the candle drop; and how could I see in the dark? You would
insist on looking at the plate on the coffin!’
A low moan broke
from Stephen, a long, low, trembling moan which went to Harold’s heart. Her
head drooped over again on his shoulder; and she clung close to him as the
memory of her shock came back to her. Harold spoke to Leonard over his shoulder
in a low, fierce whisper, which Stephen did not seem to hear:
‘There! that will do. Go away! You have done enough already. Go!
Go!’ he added more sternly, as the boy seemed disposed to argue. Leonard ran a
few steps, then walked to the lich-gate, where he
waited.
Stephen clung
close to Harold in a state of agitation which was almost hysterical. She buried
her face in his shoulder, sobbing brokenly:
‘Oh, Harold! It was too awful. I never thought, never for a moment, that my poor dear
mother was buried in the crypt. And when I went to look at the name on the
coffin that was nearest to where I was, I knocked away the dust, and then I saw
her name: “Margaret Norman, aetat 22.” I couldn’t bear it. She was only a girl
herself, only just twice my age—lying there in that terrible dark place with
all the thick dust and the spiders’ webs. Oh, Harold, Harold! How shall I ever
bear to think of her lying there, and that I shall
never see her dear face? Never! Never!’
He tried to
soothe her by patting and holding her hands. For a good while
the resolution of the girl faltered, and she was but as a little child.
Then her habitual strength of mind asserted itself. She did not ask Harold how
she came to be out in the church instead of in the crypt when she recovered her
senses. She seemed to take it for granted that Leonard had carried her out; and
when she said how brave it had been of him, Harold, with his customary
generosity, allowed her to preserve the belief. When they had made their way to
the gate Leonard came up to them; but before he could speak Stephen had begun to
thank him. He allowed her to do so, though the sight of Harold’s mouth set in
scorn, and his commanding eyes firmly fixed on him, made him grow hot and cold
alternately. He withdrew without speaking; and took his way home with a heart
full of bitterness and revengeful feelings.
In the park
Stephen tried to dust herself, and then Harold tried
to assist her. But her white dress was incurably soiled, the fine dust of the
vault seemed to have got ingrained in the muslin. When she got to the house she
stole upstairs, so that no one might notice her till she had made herself tidy.
The next day but
one she took Harold for a walk in the afternoon. When they were quite alone and
out of earshot she said:
‘I have been
thinking all night about poor mother. Of course I know she cannot be moved from
the crypt. She must remain there. But there needn’t be all that dust. I want
you to come there with me some time soon. I fear I am afraid to go alone. I
want to bring some flowers and to tidy up the place. Won’t you come with me
this time? I know now, Harold, why you didn’t let me go in before. But now it
is different. This is not curiosity. It is Duty and Love. Won’t you come with
me, Harold?’
Harold leaped
from the edge of the ha-ha where he had been sitting and held up his hand. She
took it and leaped down lightly beside him.
‘Come,’ he said,
‘let us go there now!’ She took his arm when they got on the path again, and
clinging to him in her pretty girlish way they went together to the piece of
garden which she called her own; there they picked a great bunch of beautiful
white flowers. Then they walked to the old church. The door was open and they
passed in. Harold took from his pocket a tiny key. This surprised her, and
heightened the agitation which she naturally suffered from revisiting the
place. She said nothing whilst he opened the door to the crypt. Within, on a bracket, stood some candles in glass shades and boxes
of matches. Harold lit three candles, and leaving one of them on the
shelf, and placing his cap beside it, took the other two in his hands. Stephen,
holding her flowers tightly to her breast with her right hand, took Harold’s
arm with the left, and with beating heart entered the crypt.
For several
minutes Harold kept her engaged, telling her about the crypt in his father’s
church, and how he went down at his last visit to see the coffin of his dear
father, and how he knelt before it. Stephen was much moved, and held tight to
his arm, her heart beating. But in the time she was getting accustomed to the
place. Her eyes, useless at first on coming out of the bright sunlight, and not
able to distinguish anything, began to take in the shape of the place and to
see the rows of great coffins that stood out along the far wall. She also saw
with surprise that the newest coffin, on which for several reasons her eyes
rested, was no longer dusty but was scrupulously clean. Following with her eyes
as well as she could see into the further corners she saw that there the same
reform had been effected. Even the walls and ceiling had been swept of the
hanging cobwebs, and the floor was clean with the cleanliness of ablution.
Still holding Harold’s arm, she moved over towards her mother’s coffin and
knelt before it. Harold knelt with her; for a little while she remained still
and silent, praying inwardly. Then she rose, and taking her great bunch of
flowers placed them lovingly on the lid of the coffin above where she thought
her mother’s heart would be. Then she turned to Harold, her eyes flowing and
her cheeks wet with tears, and laid her head against his breast. Her arms could
not go round his neck till he had bent his head, for with his great height he
simply towered above her. Presently she was quiet; the paroxysm of her grief
had passed. She took Harold’s hand in both hers, and together they went to the
door. With his disengaged hand, for he would not have disturbed the other for
worlds, Harold put out the lights and locked the door behind them.
In the church
she held him away from her, and looked him fairly in the face. She said slowly:
‘Harold, was it
you who had the crypt cleaned?’ He answered in a low voice:
‘I knew you
would want to go again!’
She took the
great hand which she held between hers, and before he knew what she was doing
and could prevent her, raised it to her lips and kissed it, saying lovingly:
‘Oh, Harold! No brother in all the wide world could be
kinder. And—and—’ this with a sob, ‘we both thank you; mother and I!’
The next
important move in the household was Harold’s going to Cambridge. His father had always intended
this, and Squire Norman had borne his wishes in mind. Harold joined Trinity,
the college which had been his father’s, and took up his residence in due
course.
Stephen was now
nearly twelve. Her range of friendships, naturally limited by her circumstances
in life, was enlarged to the full; and if she had not many close friends there
were at least of them all that was numerically possible. She still kept up to
certain degree the little gatherings which in her childhood were got together
for her amusement, and in the various games then instituted she still took a
part. She never lost sight of the fact that her father took a certain pleasure
in her bodily vigour. And though with her growing years and the conscious
acceptance of her womanhood, she lost sight of the old childish fancy of being
a boy instead of a girl, she could not lose sight of the fact that strength and
alertness are sources of feminine as well as of masculine power.
Amongst the
young friends who came from time to time during his holidays was Leonard
Everard, now a tall, handsome boy. He was one of those boys who develop young,
and who seem never to have any of that gawky stage so noticeable in the youth
of men made in a large pattern. He was always well-poised, trim-set, alert;
fleet of foot, and springy all over. In games he was facile princeps, seeming
to make his effort always in the right way and without exertion, as if by an
instinct of physical masterdom. His universal success in such matters helped to
give him an easy debonair manner which was in itself winning. So physically
complete a youth has always a charm. In its very presence there is a sort of
sympathetic expression, such as comes with the sunshine.
Stephen always
in Leonard’s presence showed something of the common attitude. His youth and
beauty and sex all had their influence on her. The influence of sex, as it is
understood with regard to a later period of life, did not in her case exist;
Cupid’s darts are barbed and winged for more adult victims. But in her case
Leonard’s masculine superiority, emphasised by the few years between their age,
his sublime self-belief, and, above all, his absolute disregard for herself or
her wishes or her feelings, put him on a level at which she had to look up to
him. The first step in the ladder of pre-eminence had been achieved when she
realised that he was not on her level; the second when she experienced rather
than thought that he had more influence on her than she had on him. Here again
was a little morsel of hero worship, which, though based on a misconception of
fact, was still of influence. In that episode of the crypt she had always
believed that it was Leonard who had carried her out and laid her on the church
floor in light and safety. He had been strong enough and resolute enough to do
this, whilst she had fainted! Harold’s generous forbearance had really worked
to a false end.
It was not
strange, therefore, that she found occasional companionship with the handsome,
wilful, domineering boy somewhat of luxury. She did not see him often enough to
get tired of him; to find out the weakness of his character; to realise his
deep-seated, remorseless selfishness. But after all he was only an episode in a
young life which was full of interests. Term after term came and went; the
holidays had their seasonable pleasures, occasionally shared in common. That
was all.
Harold’s
attitude was the same as ever. He was of a constant nature; and now that
manhood was within hail the love of his boyhood was ripening to a man’s love.
That was all. He was with regard to Stephen the same devoted, worshipping
protector, without thought of self; without hope of reward. Whatever Stephen
wished Harold did; and Stephen, knowing their old wishes and their old
pleasures, was content with their renewal. Each holiday between the terms
became mainly a repetition of the days of the old life. They lived in the past.
Amongst the
things that did not change was Stephen’s riding dress. The scarlet habit had
never been a thing for everyday wear, but had from the first been kept for
special occasions. Stephen herself knew that it was not a conventional costume;
but she rather preferred it, if on that account alone. In a certain way she
felt justified in using it; for a red habit was a sort of tradition in the
family.
It was on one of
these occasions that she had gone with Harold into the churchyard where they
had heard the discussion regarding God and the Angels.
* * * * *
When Stephen was
about sixteen she went for a short visit to Oxford. She stayed at Somerville with Mrs. Egerton, an old friend
of her mother’s, who was a professor at the college. She sent back her maid who
had travelled with her, as she knew that the college girls did not have
servants of their own. The visit was prolonged by mutual consent into a duration of some weeks. Stephen fell in love with the
place and the life, and had serious thoughts of joining the college herself.
Indeed she had made up her mind to ask her father to allow her, knowing well
that he would consent to that or to any other wholesome wish of hers. But then
came the thought that he would be all alone at home; and following that came
another thought, and one of more poignant feeling. He was alone now! Already,
for many days, she had left him, for the first time in her life! Stephen was
quick to act; well she knew that at home there would be no fault found with her
for a speedy return. Within a few hours she had brought her visit to an end,
and was by herself, despite Mrs. Egerton’s protest, in the train on the way
back to Norcester.
In the train she
began to review, for the first time, her visit to the university. All had been
so strange and new and delightful to her that she had never stopped for
retrospect. Life in the new and enchanting place had been in the moving
present. The mind had been receptive only, gathering data for later thought.
During her visit she had had no one to direct her thought, and so it had been
all personal, with the freedom of individuality at large. Of course her
mother’s friend, skilled in the mind-workings of average girls, and able to
pick her way through intellectual and moral quagmires, had taken good care to
point out to her certain intellectual movements and certain moral lessons; just
as she had in their various walks and drives pointed out matters of
interest—architectural beauties and spots of historic import. And she had taken
in, loyally accepted, and thoroughly assimilated all that she had been told.
But there were other lessons which were for her young eyes; facts which the older
eyes had ceased to notice, if they had ever noticed them at all. The self-content, the sex-content in the endless tide of young men
that thronged the streets and quads and parks; the all-sufficing nature of
sport or study, to whichever their inclinations tended. The small part which womankind seemed to have in their lives.
Stephen had had, as we know, a peculiar training; whatever her instincts were,
her habits were largely boy habits. Here she was amongst boys, a glorious tide
of them; it made now and again her heart beat to look at them. And yet amongst
them all she was only an outsider. She could not do anything better than any of
them. Of course, each time she went out, she became conscious of admiring
glances; she could not be woman without such consciousness. But it was as a
girl that men looked at her, not as an equal. As well as personal experience
and the lessons of eyes and ears and intelligence, there were other things to
classify and adjust; things which were entirely from the outside of her own
life. The fragments of common-room gossip, which it had been
her fortune to hear accidentally now and again. The half confidences of
scandals, borne on whispered breaths. The whole confidences
of dormitory and study which she had been privileged to share. All were
parts of the new and strange world, the great world which had swum into her
ken.
As she sat now
in the train, with some formulation of memory already accomplished in the two
hours of solitude, her first comment, spoken half audibly, would have surprised
her teachers as much as it would have surprised herself,
if she had been conscious of it; for as yet her thinking was not
self-conscious:
‘Surely, I am
not like that!’
It was of the
women she had been thinking, not of the men. The glimpse which she had had of
her own sex had been an awakening to her; and the awakening had not been to a
pleasant world. All at once she seemed to realise that her sex had
defects—littlenesses, meannesses, cowardices, falsenesses. That their
occupations were apt to be trivial or narrow or selfish; that their desires
were earthly, and their tastes coarse; that what she held to
be goodness was apt to be realised only as fear. That innocence was but
ignorance, or at least baffled curiosity. That . . .
A flood of shame
swept over her, and instinctively she put her hands before her burning face. As
usual, she was running all at once into extremes.
And above all
these was borne upon her, and for the first time in her life, that she was
herself a woman!
For a long time
she sat quite still. The train thrilled and roared on its way. Crowded stations
took and gave their quantum of living freight; but the young girl sat
abstracted, unmoved, seemingly unconscious. All the
dominance and energy of her nature were at work.
If, indeed, she
was a woman, and had to abide by the exigencies of her own sex, she would at
least not be ruled and limited by woman’s weakness. She would plan and act and
manage things for herself, in her own way.
Whatever her
thoughts might be, she could at least control her acts. And those acts should
be based not on woman’s weakness, but on man’s strength!
When Stephen
announced her intention of going with her father to the Petty Sessions Court,
there was consternation amongst the female population of Normanstand and Norwood. Such a thing had
not been heard of in the experiences of any of them. Courts of Justice were
places for men; and the lower courts dealt with a class of
cases . . . It was quite impossible to imagine where any young lady
could get such an idea . . .
Miss Laetitia
Rowly recognised that she had a difficult task before her, for she was by now
accustomed to Stephen’s quiet method of having her own way.
She made a
careful toilet before driving over to Normanstand. Her wearing her best bonnet
was a circumstance not unattended with dread for some one. Behold her then,
sailing into the great drawing-room at Normanstand with her mind so firmly
fixed on the task before her as to be oblivious of minor considerations. She was
so fond of Stephen, and admired so truly her many beauties and fine qualities,
that she was secure and without flaw in her purpose. Stephen was in danger, and
though she doubted if she would be able to effect any change, she was
determined that at least she should not go into danger with her eyes unopened.
Stephen entered
hastily and ran to her. She loved her great-aunt; really and truly loved her.
And indeed it would have been strange if she had not, for from the earliest
hour which she could recollect she had received from her nothing but the
truest, fondest affection. Moreover she deeply respected the old lady, her
truth, her resolution, her kindliness, her genuine common-sense ability.
Stephen always felt safe with her aunt. In the presence of others she might now
and again have a qualm or a doubt; but not with her. There was an abiding calm
in her love, answering love realised and respected. Her long and intimate
knowledge of Laetitia made her aware of her moods. She could read the signs of
them. She knew well the meaning of the bonnet which actually seemed to quiver
as though it had a sentience of its own. She knew well the cause of her aunt’s
perturbation; the pain which must be caused to her was perhaps the point of
most resistance in herself—she having made up her mind to her new experience.
All she could do would be to try to reconcile her by the assurance of good
intention; by reason, and by sweetness of manner. When she had kissed her and
sat beside her, holding her hand after her pretty way,
she, seeing the elder woman somewhat at a loss, opened the subject herself:
‘You look
troubled, auntie! I hope it is nothing serious?’
‘It is, my dear!
Very serious! Everything is serious to me which touches you.’
‘Me, Auntie!’ Hypocrisy is a fine art.
‘Yes! yes, Stephen. Oh! my dear child,
what is this I hear about your going to Petty Sessions with your father?’
‘Oh, that! Why,
Auntie dear, you must not let that trouble you. It is all right. That is
necessary!’
‘Necessary!’ the
old lady’s figure grew rigid and her voice was loud and high. ‘Necessary for a young lady to go to a court house. To hear low people speaking of low crimes. To listen to
cases of the most shocking kind; cases of low immorality; cases of a kind, of a
nature of a—a—class that you are not supposed to know anything about. Really,
Stephen! . . . ’ She was drawing away her hand in indignation. But Stephen held
it tight, as she said very sweetly:
‘That is just
it, Auntie. I am so ignorant that I feel I should know more of the lives of
those very people!’ Miss Laetitia interrupted:
‘Ignorant! Of
course you are ignorant. That is what you ought to be. Isn’t it what we have
all been devoting ourselves to effect ever since you were born? Read your third
chapter of Genesis and remember what came of eating of the fruit of the Tree of
Knowledge.’
‘I think the
Tree of Knowledge must have been an orange tree.’ The old lady looked up, her
interest aroused:
‘Why?’
‘Because ever since Eden
other brides have worn its blossom!’ Her tone was demure. Miss Rowly looked
sharply at her, but her sharpness softened off into a smile.
‘H’m!’ she said,
and was silent. Stephen seized the opportunity to put her own
case:
‘Auntie dear,
you must forgive me! You really must, for my heart is set on this. I assure you
I am not doing it merely to please myself. I have thought over the whole
matter. Father has always wished me to be in a position—a position of knowledge
and experience—to manage Normanstand if I should ever succeed him. From the
earliest time I can remember he has always kept this before me, and though of
course I did not at first understand what it meant, I have seemed in the last
few years to know better. Accordingly I learned all sorts of things under his
care, and sometimes even without his help. I have studied the estate map, and I
have been over the estate books and read some of the leases and all such
matters which they deal with in the estate office. This only told me the bones
of the thing. I wanted to know more of our people; and so I made a point of
going now and again to each house that we own. Of seeing the people and talking
with them familiarly; as familiarly as they would let me, and indeed so far as
was possible considering my position. For, Auntie dear, I soon began to
learn—to learn in a way there was no mistaking—what my position is. And so I
want to get to know more of their ordinary lives; the darker as well as the
lighter side. I would like to do them good. I can see how my dear daddy has
always been a sort of power to help them, and I would like to carry on his
work; to carry it further if I may. But I must know.’
Her aunt had
been listening with growing interest, and with growing
respect too, for she realised the intense earnestness which lay behind the
girl’s words and her immediate purpose. Her voice and manner were both
softened:
‘But, my dear,
surely it is not necessary to go into the Court to know these things. The
results of each case become known.’
‘That is just
it, Auntie,’ she answered quickly. ‘The magistrates have to hear the two sides
of the case before even they can make up their minds. I want to hear both
sides, too! If people are guilty, I want to know the cause of their guilt. If
they are innocent, I want to know what the circumstances can be which make
innocence look like guilt. In my own daily life I may be in the way of just
such judgments; and surely it is only right that judgment should be just!’
Again she
paused; there rose before her mind that conversation in the churchyard when
Harold had said that it was difficult for women to be just.
Miss Rowly
reflected too. She was becoming convinced that in principle the girl was right.
But the details were repugnant as ever to her; concentrating her mind on the
point where she felt the ground firm under her, she made her objection:
‘But, Stephen
dear, there are so many cases that are sordid and painful!’
‘The more need
to know of sordid things; if sordidness plays so important a part in the
tragedy of their lives!’
‘But there are
cases which are not within a woman’s province. Cases that touch sin . . . ’
‘What kind of
sin do you mean? Surely all wrong-doing is sin!’ The old lady was embarrassed.
Not by the fact, for she had been for too many years the mistress of a great
household not to know something of the subject on which she spoke, but that she
had to speak of such a matter to the young girl whom she so loved.
‘The sin, my
dear, of . . . of woman’s wrong-doing . . . as woman . . . of motherhood,
without marriage!’ All Stephen’s nature seemed to rise in revolt.
‘Why, Auntie,’
she spoke out at once, ‘you yourself show the want of the very experience I
look for!’
‘How? what?’ asked the old lady amazed and bristling.
Stephen took her hand and held it affectionately as she spoke:
‘You speak of a
woman’s wrong-doing, when surely it is a man’s as well. There does not seem to
be blame for him who is the more guilty. Only for poor
women! . . . And, Auntie dear, it is such poor women that I should like to help
. . . Not when it is too late, but before! But how can I help unless I know?
Good girls cannot tell me, and good women won’t! You yourself, Auntie, didn’t
want to speak on the subject; even to me!’
‘But, my dear
child, these are not things for unmarried women. I never speak of them myself
except with matrons.’ Stephen’s answer flashed out like a sword; and cut like
one:
‘And yet you are
unmarried! Oh, Auntie dear, I did not and I do not mean to be offensive, or to
hurt you in any way. I know, dear, your goodness and your kindness to all. But
you limit yourself to one side!’ The elder lady interrupted:
‘How do you
mean? one side! which side?’
‘The punishment side. I want to know the cause of that which brings the
punishment. There surely is some cross road in a girl’s life where the ways
part. I want to stand there if I can, with warning in one hand and help in the
other. Oh! Auntie, Auntie, can’t you see that my heart is in this . . . These
are our people; Daddy says they are to be my people; and I want to know their
lives right through; to understand their wants, and their temptations, and their
weakness. Bad and good, whatever it be, I must know it
all; or I shall be working in the dark, and may injure or crush where I had
looked to help and raise.’
As she spoke she
looked glorified. The afternoon autumn sun shone full through the great window
and lighted her up till she looked like a spirit. Lighted her white diaphanous
dress till it seemed to take shape as an ethereal robe; lighted her red hair
till it looked like a celestial crown; lighted her great dark eyes till their
black beauty became swept in the tide of glory.
The heart of the
old woman who loved her best heaved, and her bosom swelled with pride.
Instinctively she spoke:
‘Oh, you noble, beautiful creature! Of course you are right, and your way is
God’s way!’ With tears that rained down her furrowed cheeks, she put her arms
round the girl and kissed her fondly. Still holding her in her arms she gave
her the gentle counsel which was the aftermath of her moment of inspiration.
‘But Stephen
dear, do be careful! Knowledge is a two-edged sword, and it is apt to side with
pride. Remember what was the last temptation of the serpent
to Eve: “Your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing
good and evil.”’
‘I shall be very
careful,’ she said gravely; and then added as if by an afterthought, ‘of course
you understand that my motive is the acquisition of knowledge?’
‘Yes?’ the
answer was given interrogatively.
‘Don’t you
think, dear, that Eve’s object was not so much the acquisition of knowledge as
the gratification of curiosity.’
‘That may be,’
said the elder lady in a doubtful tone; ‘but my dear, who is to enlighten us as
to which is which? We are apt in such matters to deceive ourselves. The more we
know, the better are we able to deceive others; and the better we are able to
deceive others the better we are able to deceive ourselves. As I tell you,
dear, knowledge is two-edged and needs extra carefulness in its use!’
‘True!’ said
Stephen reflectively. Long after her aunt had gone she sat thinking.
* * * * *
Once again did
Miss Rowly try to restrain Stephen from a project.
This was when a little later she wished to go for a few days to the University
Mission House in the East end of London.
Ever since her visit to Oxford
she had kept up a correspondence with her mother’s old friend. It was this
lady’s habit to spend a part of vacation in the Mission; and Stephen had had much
correspondence with her regarding the work. At last she wrote that if she
might, she would like to come and see for herself. The answer was a cordial
invitation, armed with which she asked her father to allow her to go. He at
once assented. He had been watching keenly the development of her character,
and had seen with pride and satisfaction that as time went on she seemed to
acquire greater resolution, larger self-dependence. She was becoming more and
more of his ideal. Without losing any of her womanhood, she was beginning to
look at things more from a man’s point of view than is usually done by, or
possible to, women.
When she
returned at the end of a week she was full of new gravity. After a while this
so far changed that her old lighter moods began to have their place, but it
seemed that she never lost, and that she never would lose, the effect of that
week of bitter experience amongst the ‘submerged tenth.’
The effect of
the mental working was shown by a remark made by Harold when home on his next
college vacation. He had been entering with her on a discussion of an episode
on the estate:
‘Stephen, you
are learning to be just!’
At the moment
she was chagrined by the remark, though she accepted it in silence; but later,
when she had thought the matter over, she took from it infinite pleasure. This
was indeed to share man’s ideas and to think with the workings of man’s mind.
It encouraged her to further and larger ideas, and to a greater toleration than
she had hitherto dreamed of.
Of all those who
loved her, none seemed to understand so fully as Laetitia Rowly the change in
her mental attitude, or rather the development of it. Now and again she tried
to deflect or modify certain coming forces, so that the educational process in
which she had always had a part would continue in the right direction. But she
generally found that the girl had been over the ground so thoroughly that she
was able to defend her position. Once, when she had ventured to remonstrate
with her regarding her attitude of woman’s equality with man, she felt as if
Stephen’s barque was indeed entering on dangerous seas. The occasion had arisen
thus: Stephen had been what her aunt had stigmatised as ‘laying down the law’
with regard to the position a married woman, and Miss Rowly, seeing a good
argumentative opening, remarked:
‘But what if a
woman does not get the opportunity of being married?’ Stephen looked at her a
moment before saying with conviction:
‘It is a woman’s
fault if she does not get the opportunity!’ The old lady smiled as she
answered:
‘Her fault? My dear, what if no man asks her?’ This seemed to her own mind a poser.
‘Still her own fault! Why doesn’t she ask him?’ Her aunt’s lorgnon
was dropped in horrified amazement.
Stephen went on
impassively.
‘Certainly! Why shouldn’t she? Marriage is a union. As it is in the eye of the law a
civil contract, either party to it should be at liberty to originate the
matter. If a woman is not free to think of a man in all ways, how is she to
judge of the suitability of their union? And if she is free
in theory, why not free to undertake if necessary the initiative in a matter so
momentous to herself?’ The old lady actually groaned and wrung her
hands; she was horrified at such sentiments. They were daring enough to think;
but to put them in words! . . .
‘Oh, my dear, my
dear!’ she moaned, ‘be careful what you say. Some one might hear you who would
not understand, as I do, that you are talking theory.’ Stephen’s habit of
thought stood to her here. She saw that her aunt was distressed, and as she did
not wish to pain her unduly, was willing to divert the immediate channel of her
fear. She took the hand which lay in her lap and held it firmly whilst she
smiled in the loving old eyes.
‘Of course,
Auntie dear, it is theory. But still it is a theory which I hold very
strongly!’ . . . Here a thought struck her and she said suddenly:
‘Did you ever .
. . How many proposals did you have, Auntie?’ The old lady smiled; her thoughts
were already diverted.
‘Several, my dear! It is so long ago that I don’t remember!’
‘Oh yes, you do,
Auntie! No woman ever forgets that, no matter what else she may or may not
remember! Tell me, won’t you?’ The old lady blushed slightly as she answered:
‘There is no
need to specify, my dear. Let it be at this, that there were more than you
could count on your right hand!’
‘And why did you
refuse them?’ The tone was wheedling, and the elder woman loved to hear it.
Wheedling is the courtship, by the young of the old.
‘Because, my
dear, I didn’t love them.’
‘But tell me,
Auntie, was there never any one that you did love?’
‘Ah! my dear, that is a different matter. That is the real
tragedy of a woman’s life.’ In flooding reminiscent thought she forgot her remonstrating;
her voice became full of natural pathos:
‘To love; and be helpless! To wait, and wait, and wait; with your heart all
aflame! To hope, and hope; till time seems to have passed away, and all the world to stand still on your hopeless misery! To know
that a word might open up Heaven; and yet to have to remain mute! To keep back
the glances that could enlighten; to modulate the tones that might betray! To
see all you hoped for passing away . . . to another! . . . ’
Stephen bent
over and kissed her, then standing up said:
‘I understand!
Isn’t it wrong, Auntie, that there should be such tragedies? Should not that
glance be given? Why should that tone be checked? Why should one be mute when a
single word might, would, avert the tragedy? Is it not possible, Auntie, that
there is something wrong in our social system when such things can happen; and
can happen so often?’
She looked
remorseless as well as irresistible in the pride of her youthful strength as
with eyes that blazed, not flashing as in passion but with a steady light that
seemed to burn, she continued:
‘Some day women
must learn their own strength, as well as they have learned their own weakness.
They are taught this latter from their cradles up; but no one ever seems to
teach them wherein their power lies. They have to learn this for themselves;
and the process and the result of the self-teaching are not good. In the
University Settlement I learned much that made my heart ache; but out of it
there seemed some lesson for good.’ She paused; and her aunt, wishing to keep
the subject towards higher things, asked:
‘And that
lesson, Stephen dear?’ The blazing eyes turned to her so that she was stirred
by them as the answer came:
‘It is bad women
who seem to know men best, and to be able to influence them most. They can make
men come and go at will. They can turn and twist and mould them as they choose.
And they never hesitate to speak their own wishes; to ask for what they want.
There are no tragedies, of the negative kind, in their lives. Their tragedies
have come and gone already; and their power remains. Why should good women
leave power to such as they? Why should good women’s
lives be wrecked for a convention? Why in the blind following of some society
fetish should life lose its charm, its possibilities? Why should love eat its
heart out, in vain? The time will come when women will not be afraid to speak
to men, as they should speak, as free and equal. Surely if a woman is to be the
equal and lifelong companion of a man, the closest to him—nay, the only one
really close to him: the mother of his children—she should be free at the very
outset to show her inclination to him just as he would to her. Don’t be
frightened, Auntie dear; your eyes are paining me! . . . There! perhaps I said too much. But after all it is only theory.
Take for your comfort, Auntie dear, that I am free an
heart-whole. You need not fear for me; I can see what your dear eyes tell me.
Yes! I am very young; perhaps too young to think such things. But I have
thought of them. Thought them all over in every way and phase I can imagine.’
She stopped
suddenly; bending over, she took the old lady in her
arms and kissed her fondly several times, holding her tight. Then, as suddenly
releasing her, she ran away before she could say a word.
When Harold took
his degree, Stephen’s father took her to Cambridge.
She enjoyed the trip very much; indeed, it seemed under conditions that were
absolutely happy.
When they had
returned to Normanstand, the Squire took an early opportunity of bringing
Harold alone into his study. He spoke to him with what in a very young man
would have seemed diffidence:
‘I have been
thinking, Harold, that the time has come when you should be altogether your own
master. I am more than pleased, my boy, with the way you have gone through
college; it is, I am sure, just as your dear father would have wished it, and
as it would have pleased him best.’ He paused, and Harold said in a low voice:
‘I tried hard,
sir, to do what I thought he would like; and what you would.’ The Squire went
on more cheerfully:
‘I know that, my
boy! I know that well. And I can tell you that it is not the least of the
pleasures we have all had in your success, how you have justified yourself. You
have won many honours in the schools, and you have kept the reputation as an
athlete which your father was so proud of. Well, I suppose in the natural order
of things you would go into a profession; and of course if you so desire you
can do that. But if you can see your way to it I would rather that you stayed
here. My house is your home as long as I live; but I don’t wish you to feel in
any way dependent. I want you to stay here if you will; but to do it just
because you wish to. To this end I have made over to you the estate at Camp which
was my father’s gift to me when I came of age. It is not a very large one; but
it will give you a nice position of your own, and a comfortable income. And
with it goes my blessing, my dear boy. Take it as a gift from your father and
myself!’
Harold was much
moved, not only by the act itself but by the gracious way of doing it. There
were tears in his eyes as he wrung the Squire’s hand; his voice thrilled with
feeling as he said:
‘Your many goodnesses to my father’s son, sir, will, I hope, be
justified by his love and loyalty. If I don’t say much it is because I do not
feel quite master of myself. I shall try to show in time, as I cannot say it
all at once, all that I feel.’
Harold continued
to live at Normanstand. The house at Camp was in reality a charming cottage. A
couple of servants were installed, and now and again he stayed there for a few
days as he wished to get accustomed to the place. In a couple of months every
one accepted the order of things; and life at Normanstand went on much as it
had done before Harold had gone to college. There was a man in the house now
instead of a boy: that was all. Stephen too was beginning to be a young woman,
but the relative positions were the same as they had been. Her growth did not
seem to make an ostensible difference to any one. The one who might have
noticed it most, Mrs. Jarrold, had died during the last year of Harold’s life
at college.
When the day
came for the quarterly meeting of the magistrates of the county of Norcester,
Squire Rowly arranged as usual to drive Squire Norman. This had been their
habit for good many years. The two men usually liked to talk over the meeting
as they returned home together. It was a beautiful morning for a drive, and
when Rowly came flying up the avenue in his T-cart
with three magnificent bays, Stephen ran out on the top of the steps to see him
draw up. Rowly was a fine whip, and his horses felt
it. Squire Norman was ready, and, after a kiss from Stephen, climbed into the
high cart. The men raised their hats and waved good-bye. A word from Rowly;
with a bound the horses were off. Stephen stood looking at them delighted; all
was so sunny, so bright, so happy. The world was so
full of life and happiness to-day that it seemed as if it would never end; that
nothing except good could befall.
Harold, later on
that morning, was to go into Norcester also; so Stephen with a lonely day
before her set herself to take up loose-ends of all sorts of little personal
matters. They would all meet at dinner as Rowly was to stop the night at Normanstand.
Harold left the
club in good time to ride home to dinner. As he passed the County Hotel he
stopped to ask if Squire Norman had left; and was told that he had started only
a short time before with Squire Rowly in his T-cart. He rode on fast, thinking
that perhaps he might overtake them and ride on with them. But the bays knew
their work, and did it. They kept their start; it was only at the top of the
North hill, five miles out of Norcester, that he saw
them in the distance, flying along the level road. He knew he would not now
overtake them, and so rode on somewhat more leisurely.
The Norcester
highroad, when it has passed the village
of Brackling, turns away
to the right behind the great clump of oaks. From this the road twists to the
left again, making a double curve, and then runs to Norling Parva in a clear
stretch of some miles before reaching the sharp turn down the hill which is
marked ‘Dangerous to Cyclists.’ From the latter village branches the by-road
over the hill which is the short cut to Normanstand.
When Harold
turned the corner under the shadow of the oaks he saw a belated road-mender,
surrounded by some gaping peasants, pointing excitedly in the distance. The
man, who of course knew him, called to him to stop.
‘What is it?’ he
asked, reining up.
‘It be Squire Rowly’s bays which have run away with him. Three on ’em, all in a row and comin’ like the wind. Squire
he had his reins all right, but they ’osses didn’t seem to mind ’un. They was
fair mad and bolted. The leader he had got frightened at the heap o’ stones theer, an’ the others took scare from him.’
Without a word
Harold shook his reins and touched the horse with his whip. The animal seemed
to understand and sprang forward, covering the ground at a terrific pace.
Harold was not given to alarms, but here might be serious danger. Three
spirited horses in a light cart made for pace, all bolting in fright, might end
any moment in calamity. Never in his life did he ride faster than on the road
to Norling Parva. Far ahead of him he could see at the turn, now and again, a
figure running. Something had happened. His heart grew cold: he knew as well as
though he had seen it, the high cart swaying on one wheel round the corner as
the maddened horses tore on their way; the one jerk too much, and the momentary
reaction in the crash! . . .
With beating
heart and eyes aflame in his white face he dashed on.
It was all too
true. By the side of the roadway on the inner curve lay the cart on its side
with broken shafts. The horses were prancing and stamping about along the
roadway not recovered from their fright. Each was held by several men.
And on the grass
two figures were still lying where they had been thrown out. Rowly, who had of
course been on the off-side, had been thrown furthest. His head had struck the
milestone that stood back on the waste ground before the ditch. There was no
need for any one to tell that his neck had been broken. The way his head lay on
one side, and the twisted, inert limbs, all told their story plainly enough.
Squire Norman
lay on his back stretched out. Some one had raised him to a sitting posture and
then lowered him again, straightening his limbs. He did not therefore look so dreadful as Rowly, but there were signs of coming death
in the stertorous breathing, the ooze of blood from nostrils and ears as well
as mouth. Harold knelt down by him at once and examined him. Those who were
round all knew him and stood back. He felt the ribs and limbs; so far as he
could ascertain by touch no bone was broken.
Just then the
local doctor, for whom some one had run, arrived in his gig. He, too, knelt
beside the injured man, a quick glance having satisfied him that there was only
one patient requiring his care. Harold stood up and waited. The doctor looked
up, shaking his head. Harold could hardly suppress the groan which was rising
in his throat. He asked:
‘Is it
immediate? Should his daughter be brought here?’
‘How long would
it take her to arrive?’
‘Perhaps half an
hour; she would not lose an instant.’
‘Then you had
better send for her.’
‘I shall go at
once!’ answered Harold, turning to jump on his horse, which was held on the
road.
‘No, no!’ said
the doctor, ‘send some one else. You had better stay here yourself. He may
become conscious just before the end; and he may want to say something!’ It
seemed to Harold that a great bell was sounding in his ears.—‘Before the end!
Good God! Poor Stephen!’ . . . But this was no time for sorrow, or for thinking
of it. That would come later. All that was possible must be done; and to do it
required a cool head. He called to one of the lads he knew could ride and said
to him:
‘Get on my horse
and ride as fast as you can to Normanstand. Send at once to Miss Norman and
tell her that she is wanted instantly. Tell her that there has been an
accident; that her father is alive, but that she must come at once without a
moment’s delay. She had better ride my horse back as it will save time. She
will understand from that the importance of time. Quick!’
The lad sprang
to the saddle, and was off in a flash. Whilst Harold was speaking, the doctor
had told the men, who, accustomed to hunting accidents, had taken a gate from
its hinges and held it in readiness, to bring it closer. Then under his
direction the Squire was placed on the gate. The nearest house was only about a
hundred yards away; and thither they bore him. He was lifted on a bed, and then
the doctor made fuller examination. When he stood up he looked very grave and
said to Harold:
‘I greatly fear
she cannot arrive in time. That bleeding from the ears means rupture of the
brain. It is relieving the pressure, however, and he may recover consciousness
before he dies. You had better be close to him. There is at present nothing
that can be done. If he becomes conscious at all it will be suddenly. He will relapse
and probably die as quickly.’
All at once Norman opened his eyes,
and seeing him said quietly, as he looked around:
‘What place is
this, Harold?’
‘Martin’s—James Martin’s, sir. You were brought here after the accident.’
‘Yes, I
remember! Am I badly hurt? I can feel nothing!’
‘I fear so, sir!
I have sent for Stephen.’
‘Sent for Stephen! Am I about to die?’ His voice, though feeble, was
grave and even.
‘Alas! sir, I fear so!’ He sank on his knees as he spoke and took
him, his second father, in his arms.
‘Is it close?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then listen to
me! If I don’t see Stephen, give her my love and blessing! Say that with my
last breath I prayed God to keep her and make her happy! You will tell her
this?’
‘I will! I
will!’ He could hardly speak for the emotion which was choking him. Then the
voice went on, but slower and weaker:
‘And Harold, my
dear boy, you will look after her, will you not? Guard her and cherish her, as
if you were indeed my son and she your sister!’
‘I will. So help
me God!’ There was a pause of a few seconds which seemed an interminable time.
Then in a feebler voice Squire Norman spoke again:
‘And Harold—bend down—I must whisper! If it should be that in time you
and Stephen should find that there is another affection
between you, remember that I sanction it—with my dying breath. But give her
time! I trust that to you! She is young, and the world is all before her. Let
her choose . . . and be loyal to her if it is another! It may be a hard task,
but I trust you, Harold. God bless you, my other son!’ He rose slightly and
listened. Harold’s heart leaped. The swift hoof-strokes of a galloping horse
were heard . . . The father spoke joyously:
‘There she is!
That is my brave girl! God grant that she may be in time. I know what it will
mean to her hereafter!’
The horse
stopped suddenly.
A quick patter
of feet along the passage and then Stephen half dressed with a peignoir thrown
over her, swept into the room. With the soft agility of a leopard she threw
herself on her knees beside her father and put her arms round him. The dying
man motioned to Harold to raise him. When this had been done he laid his hand
tenderly on his daughter’s head, saying:
‘Let now, O
Lord, Thy servant depart in peace! God bless and keep you, my dear child! You
have been all your life a joy and a delight to me! I shall tell your mother
when I meet her all that you have been to me! Harold, be good to her!
Good-bye—Stephen! . . . Margaret! . . . ’
His head fell
over, and Harold, laying him gently down, knelt beside Stephen. He put his arm
round her; and she, turning to him, laid her hand on his breast and sobbed as
though her heart would break.
* * * * *
The bodies of
the two squires were brought to Normanstand. Rowly had long ago said that if he
died unmarried he would like to lie beside his half-sister, and that it was
fitting that, as Stephen would be the new Squire of Norwood, her dust should in
time lie by his. When the terrible news of her nephew’s and of Norman’s
death came to Norwood,
Miss Laetitia hurried off to Normanstand as fast as the horses could bring her.
Her coming was
an inexpressible comfort to Stephen. After the first overwhelming burst of
grief she had settled into an acute despair. Of course she had been helped by
the fact that Harold had been with her, and she was grateful for that too. But
it did not live in her memory of gratitude in the same way. Of course Harold
was with her in trouble! He had always been; would always be.
But the comfort
which Aunt Laetitia could give was of a more positive kind.
From that hour
Miss Rowly stayed at Normanstand. Stephen wanted her; and she wanted to be with
Stephen.
After the
funeral Harold, with an instinctive delicacy of feeling, had gone to live in
his own house; but he came to Normanstand every day. Stephen had so long been
accustomed to consulting him about everything that there was no perceptible
change in their relations. Even necessary business to be done did not come as a
new thing.
And so things
went on outwardly at Normanstand very much as they had done before the coming of
the tragedy. But for a long time Stephen had occasional bursts of grief which
to witness was positive anguish to those who loved her.
Then her duty
towards her neighbours became a sort of passion. She did not spare herself by
day or by night. With swift intuition she grasped the needs of any ill case
which came before her, and with swift movement she took the remedy in hand.
Her aunt saw and
approved. Stephen, she felt, was in this way truly fulfilling her duty as a
woman. The old lady began to secretly hope, and almost to believe, that she had
laid aside those theories whose carrying into action she so dreaded.
But theories do
not die so easily. It is from theory that practice takes its real strength, as
well as its direction. And did the older woman whose life had been bound under
more orderly restraint but know, Stephen was following out her theories,
remorselessly and to the end.
The months since
her father’s death spread into the second year before Stephen began to realise
the loneliness of her life. She had no companion now but her aunt; and though
the old lady adored her, and she returned her love in full, the mere years
between them made impossible the companionship that youth craves. Miss Rowly’s
life was in the past. Stephen’s was in the future. And loneliness is a feeling
which comes unbidden to a heart.
Stephen felt her
loneliness all round. In old days Harold was always within hail, and
companionship of equal age and understanding was available. But now his very
reticence in her own interest, and by her father’s wishes, made for her pain.
Harold had put his strongest restraint on himself, and in his own way suffered
a sort of silent martyrdom. He loved Stephen with every fibre of his being. Day
by day he came toward her with eager step; day by day he left her with a pang
that made his heart ache and seemed to turn the brightness of the day to gloom.
Night by night he tossed for hours thinking, thinking, wondering if the time
would ever come when her kisses would be his . . . But the tortures and terrors
of the night had their effect on his days. It seemed as if the mere act of
thinking, of longing, gave him ever renewed self-control, so that he was able
in his bearing to carry out the task he had undertaken: to give Stephen time to
choose a mate for herself. Herein lay his weakness—a weakness coming from his
want of knowledge of the world of women. Had he ever had a love affair, be it
never so mild a one, he would have known that love requires a positive
expression. It is not sufficient to sigh, and wish, and hope, and long, all to
oneself. Stephen felt instinctively that his guarded speech and manner were due
to the coldness—or rather the trusting abated worship—of the brotherhood to
which she had been always accustomed. At the time when new forces were
manifesting and expanding themselves within her; when her growing instincts,
cultivated by the senses and the passions of young nature, made her aware of
other forces, new and old, expanding themselves outside her; at the time when
the heart of a girl is eager for new impressions and new expansions, and the
calls of sex are working within her all unconsciously, Harold, to whom her
heart would probably have been the first to turn, made himself in his effort to
best show his love, a quantité negligeable.
Thus Stephen,
whilst feeling that the vague desires of budding womanhood were trembling
within her, had neither thought nor knowledge of their character or their
ultimate tendency. She would have been shocked, horrified, had that logical
process, which she applied so freely to less personal matters, been used upon
her own intimate nature. In her case logic would of course act within a certain
range; and as logic is a conscious intellectual process, she became aware that
her objective was man. Man—in the abstract. ‘Man,’ not ‘a man.’ Beyond that,
she could not go. It is not too much to say that she did not ever, even in her
most errant thought, apply her reasoning, or even dream of its following out
either the duties, the responsibilities, or the consequences of having a
husband. She had a vague longing for younger companionship,
and of the kind naturally most interesting to her. There thought stopped.
One only of her
male acquaintances did not at this time appear. Leonard Everard, who had some
time ago finished his course at college, was living partly in London and partly on the Continent. His very
absence made him of added interest to his old play-fellow. The image of his
grace and comeliness, of his dominance and masculine force, early impressed on
her mind, began to compare favourably with the actualities of her other
friends; those of them at least who were within the circle of her personal
interest. ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ In Stephen’s mind had been but
a very mustard-seed of fondness. But new lights were breaking for her; and all
of them, in greater or lesser degree, shone in turn on the memory of the pretty
self-willed dominant boy, who now grew larger and more masculine in stature
under the instance of each successive light. Stephen knew the others fairly
well through and through. The usual mixture of good and evil, of strength and
weakness, of purpose and vacillation, was quite within the scope of her own feeling and of her observation. But this man was
something of a problem to her; and, as such, had a prominence in her thoughts
quite beyond his own worthiness.
In movement of
some form is life; and even ideas grow when the pulses beat and thought
quickens. Stephen had long had in her mind the idea of sexual equality. For a
long time, in deference to her aunt’s feelings, she had not spoken of it; for
the old lady winced in general under any suggestion of a breach of convention.
But though her outward expression being thus curbed had helped to suppress or
minimise the opportunities of inward thought, the idea had never left her. Now,
when sex was, consciously or unconsciously, a dominating factor in her
thoughts, the dormant idea woke to new life. She had held that if men and women
were equal the woman should have equal rights and opportunities as the man. It
had been, she believed, an absurd conventional rule that such a thing as a
proposal of marriage should be entirely the prerogative of man.
And then came to
her, as it ever does to woman, opportunity. Opportunity,
the cruelest, most remorseless, most unsparing, subtlest foe that womanhood
has. Here was an opportunity for her to test her own theory; to prove to herself, and others, that she was right. They—‘they’ being
the impersonal opponents of, or unbelievers in, her theory—would see that a
woman could propose as well as a man; and that the result would be good.
It is a part of
self-satisfaction, and perhaps not the least dangerous part of it, that it has
an increasing or multiplying power of its own. The desire to do increases the
power to do; and desire and power united find new ways for the exercise of
strength. Up to now Stephen’s inclination towards Leonard had been vague,
nebulous; but now that theory showed a way to its utilisation it forthwith
began to become, first definite, then concrete, then substantial. When once the
idea had become a possibility, the mere passing of time did the rest.
Her aunt saw—and
misunderstood. The lesson of her own youth had not been applied; not even of
those long hours and days and weeks at which she hinted when she had spoken of
the tragedy of life which by inference was her own tragedy: ‘to love and to be
helpless. To wait, and wait, and wait, with your heart all aflame!’
Stephen
recognised her aunt’s concern for her health in time to protect herself from
the curiosity of her loving-kindness. Her youth and readiness
and adaptability, and that power of play-acting which we all have within us and
of which she had her share, stood to her. With but little effort, based
on a seeming acquiescence in her aunt’s views, she succeeded in convincing the
old lady that her incipient feverish cold had already reached its crisis and
was passing away. But she had gained certain knowledge in the playing of her
little part. All this self-protective instinct was new; for good or ill she had
advanced one more step in not only the knowledge but the power of duplicity
which is so necessary in the conventional life of a woman.
Oh! did we but see! Could we but see! Here was a woman, dowered
in her youth with all the goods and graces in the power of the gods to bestow,
who fought against convention; and who yet found in convention the strongest as
well as the readiest weapon of defence.
For nearly two
weeks Stephen’s resolution was held motionless, neither advancing nor receding;
it was veritably the slack water of her resolution. She was afraid to go on.
Not afraid in sense of fear as it is usually understood, but with the
opposition of virginal instincts; those instincts which are natural, but whose
uses as well as whose powers are unknown to us.
The next few
days saw Stephen abnormally restless. She had fairly well made up her mind to
test her theory of equality of the sexes by asking Leonard Everard to marry
her; but her difficulty was as to the doing it. She knew well that it would not
do to depend on a chance meeting for an opportunity. After all, the matter was
too serious to allow of the possibility of levity. There were times when she
thought she would write to him and make her proffer of affection in this way;
but on every occasion when such thought recurred it
was forthwith instantly abandoned. During the last few days, however, she
became more reconciled to even this method of procedure. The fever of growth
was unabated. At last came an evening which she had all to herself. Miss
Laetitia was going over to Norwood
to look after matters there, and would remain the night. Stephen saw in her
absence an opportunity for thought and action, and said that, having a
headache, she would remain at home. Her aunt offered to postpone her visit. But
she would not hear of it; and so she had the evening to herself.
After dinner in
her boudoir she set herself to the composition of a letter to Leonard which
would convey at least something of her feelings and wishes towards him. In the
depths of her heart, which now and again beat furiously, she had a secret hope
that when once the idea was broached Leonard would do the rest. And as she
thought of that ‘rest’ a languorous dreaminess came upon her. She thought how
he would come to her full of love, of yearning passion; how she would try to
keep towards him, at first, an independent front which would preserve her
secret anxiety until the time should come when she might yield herself to his
arms and tell him all. For hours she wrote letter after letter, destroying them
as quickly as she wrote, as she found that she had but swayed pendulum fashion
between overtness and coldness. Some of the letters were so chilly in tone that
she felt they would defeat their own object. Others were so frankly warm in the
expression of—regard she called it, that with burning blushes she destroyed
them at once at the candle before her.
At last she made
up her mind. Just as she had done when a baby she realised that the opposing
forces were too strong for her; she gave in gracefully. It would not do to deal
directly in a letter with the matter in hand. She would write to Leonard merely
asking him to see her. Then, when they were together without fear of
interruption, she would tell him her views.
She got as far
as ‘Dear Mr. Leonard,’ when she stood up, saying to herself:
‘I shall not be
in a hurry. I must sleep on it before I write!’ She took up the novel she had
been reading in the afternoon, and read on at it steadily till her bedtime.
That night she
did not sleep. It was not that she was agitated. Indeed, she was more at ease
than she had been for days; she had after much anxious thought made up her mind
to a definite course of action. Therefore her sleeplessness was not painful. It
was rather that she did not want to sleep, than that she could not. She lay
still, thinking, thinking; dreaming such dreams as are the occasions of
sanctified privacy to her age and sex.
In the morning
she was no worse for her vigil. When at luncheon-time Aunt Laetitia had
returned she went into all the little matters of which she had to report. It
was after tea-time when she found herself alone, and with leisure to attend to
what was, she felt, directly her own affair. During the night she had made up
her mind exactly what to say to Leonard; and as her specific resolution bore
the test of daylight she was satisfied. The opening words had in their
inception caused her some concern; but after hours of thought she had come to
the conclusion that to address, under the circumstance, the recipient of the
letter as ‘Dear Mr. Everard’ would hardly do. The only possible justification
of her unconventional act was that there existed already a friendship, an
intimacy of years, since childhood; that there were already between them
knowledge and understanding of each other; that what she was doing, and about
to do, was but a further step in a series of events long ago undertaken.
She thought it
better to send by post rather than messenger, as the latter did away with all
privacy with regard to the act.
The letter was
as follows:
‘Dear
Leonard,—Would it be convenient for you to meet me to-morrow, Tuesday, at
half-past twelve o’clock on the top of Caester Hill? I want to speak about a
matter that may have some interest to you, and it will be more private there
than in the house. Also it will be cooler in the shade on the hilltop.—
Yours sincerely, Stephen Norman.’
Having posted
the letter she went about the usual routine of her life at Normanstand, and no
occasion of suspicion or remark regarding her came to her aunt.
In her room that
night when she had sent away her maid, she sat down to think, and all the
misgivings of the day came back. One by one they were conquered by one
protective argument:
‘I am free to do
as I like. I am my own mistress; and I am doing nothing that is wrong. Even if it is unconventional, what of that? God knows there
are enough conventions in the world that are wrong, hopelessly, unalterably
wrong. After all, who are the people who are most bound by convention? Those
who call themselves “smart!” If Convention is the god of the smart set, then it
is about time that honest people chose another!’
* * * * *
Leonard received
the letter at breakfast-time. He did not give it any special attention, as he
had other letters at the same time, some of which were, if less pleasant, of
more immediate importance. He had of late been bombarded with dunning letters
from tradesmen; for during his University life, and ever since, he had run into
debt. The moderate allowance his father made him he had treated as cash for
incidental expenses, but everything else had been on credit. Indeed he was
beginning to get seriously alarmed about the future, for his father, who had
paid his debts once, and at a time when they were by comparison inconsiderable,
had said that he would not under any circumstances pay others. He was not
sorry, therefore, for an opportunity of getting away for a few hours from home;
from himself—from anxieties, possibilities. The morning was a sweltering one,
and he grumbled to himself as he set out on his journey through the woods.
* * * * *
Stephen rose
fresh and in good spirits, despite her sleepless night. When youth and strength
are to the fore, a night’s sleep is not of much account, for the system once
braced up is not allowed to slacken. It was a notable sign of her strong nature
that she was not even impatient, but waited with calm fixity the hour at which
she had asked Leonard Everard to meet her. It is true that as the time grew
closer her nerve was less marked. And just before it she was a girl—and nothing
more; with all girl’s diffidence, a girl’s self-distrust, a girl’s abnegation,
a girl’s plasticity.
In the more
purely personal aspect of her enterprise Stephen’s effort was more conscious.
It is hardly possible for a pretty woman to seek in her study of perfection the
aid of her mirror and to be unconscious of her aims. There must certainly be at
least one dominant purpose: the achievement of success. Stephen did not attempt
to deny her own beauty; on the contrary she gave it the fullest scope. There
was a certain triumph in her glance as she took her last look in her mirror; a
gratification of her wish to show herself in the best way possible. It was a
very charming picture which the mirror reflected.
It may be that
there is a companionship in a mirror, especially to a woman; that the
reflection of oneself is an emboldening presence, a personality which is better
than the actuality of an unvalued stranger. Certainly, when Stephen closed the
door and stood in the wainscoted passage, which was only dimly lit by the high
window at either end, her courage seemed at once to ooze away.
Probably for the
first time in her life, as she left the shade of the long passage and came out
on the staircase flooded with the light of the noonday sun, Stephen felt that
she was a girl—‘girl’ standing as some sort of synonym for weakness, pretended
or actual. Fear, in whatever form or degree it may come, is a vital quality and
must move. It cannot stand at a fixed point; if it be not sent backward it must
progress. Stephen felt this, and, though her whole nature was repugnant to the
task, forced herself to the effort of repression. It
would, she felt, have been to her a delicious pleasure to have abandoned all effort;
to have sunk in the lassitude of self-surrender.
The woman in her
was working; her sex had found her out!
She turned and
looked around her, as though conscious of being watched. Then, seeing that she
was alone, she went her way with settled purpose; with flashing eyes and
glowing cheeks—and a beating heart. A heart all woman’s
since it throbbed the most with apprehension when the enemy, Man, was the
objective of her most resolute attack. She knew that she must keep moving; that
she must not stop or pause; or her whole resolution must collapse. And so she
hurried on, fearful lest a chance meeting with any one might imperil her
purpose.
On she went
through the faint moss-green paths; through meadows rich with flowering grasses
and the many reds of the summer wild-flowers. And so up through the path cut in
the natural dipping of the rock that rose over Caester Hill and formed a strong
base for the clump of great trees that made a landmark for many a mile around.
During the first part of her journey between the house and the hilltop, she
tried to hold her purpose at arm’s length; it would be sufficient to face its
terrors when the time had come. In the meantime the matter was of such
overwhelming importance that nothing else could take its place; all she could
do was to suspend the active part of the thinking faculties and leave the mind
only receptive.
But when she had
passed through the thin belt of stunted oak and beech which hedged in the last
of the lush meadows, and caught sight of the clump of trees on the hilltop, she
unconsciously braced herself as a young regiment loses its tremors when the
sight of the enemy breaks upon it. No longer her eyes fell
earthward; they were raised, and raised proudly. Stephen Norman was fixed in
her intention. Like the woman of old, her feet were on the ploughshares and she
would not hesitate.
As she drew near
the appointed place her pace grew slower and slower; the woman in her was
unconsciously manifesting itself. She would not be
first in her tryst with a man. Unconsciousness, however, is not a working
quality which can be relied upon for staying power; the approach to the
trysting-place brought once more home to her the strange nature of her
enterprise. She had made up her mind to it; there was no use in deceiving herself.
What she had undertaken to do was much more unconventional than being first at
a meeting. It was foolish and weak to delay. The last thought braced her up;
and it was with a hurried gait, which alone would have betrayed her to an
intelligent observer, that she entered the grove.
Had Stephen been
better acquainted with men and women, she would have been more satisfied with
herself for being the first at the tryst. The conventional idea, in the minds
of most women and of all men, is that a woman should never be the first. But
real women, those in whom the heart beats strong, and whose blood can leap,
know better. These are the commanders of men. In them sex calls to sex, all
unconsciously at first; and men answer to their call, as they to men’s.
Two opposite
feelings strove for dominance as Stephen found herself
on the hilltop, alone. One a feeling natural enough to any
one, and especially to a girl, of relief that a dreaded hour had been
postponed; the other of chagrin that she was the first.
After a few
moments, however, one of the two militant thoughts became dominant: the feeling
of chagrin. With a pang she thought if she had been a man and summoned for such
a purpose, how she would have hurried to the trysting-place; how the flying of
her feet would have vied with the quick rapturous beating of her heart! With a
little sigh and a blush, she remembered that Leonard did not know the purpose
of the meeting; that he was a friend almost brought up with her since boy and
girl times; that he had often been summoned in similar terms and for the most
trivial of social purposes.
For nearly half
an hour Stephen sat on the rustic seat under the shadow of the great oak,
looking, half unconscious of its beauty and yet influenced by it, over the wide
landscape stretched at her feet.
In spite of her
disregard of conventions, she was no fool; the instinct of wisdom was strong
within her, so strong that in many ways it ruled her conscious efforts. Had any
one told her that her preparations for this interview were made deliberately
with some of the astuteness that dominated the Devil when he took Jesus to the
top of a high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the earth at His
feet, she would have, and with truth, denied it with indignation. Nevertheless
it was a fact that she had, in all unconsciousness, chosen for the meeting a
spot which would evidence to a man, consciously or unconsciously, the
desirability for his own sake of acquiescence in her
views and wishes. For all this spreading landscape was her possession, which
her husband would share. As far as the eye could reach was within the estate
which she had inherited from her father and her uncle.
The half-hour
passed in waiting had in one way its advantages to the girl: though she was still
as high strung as ever, she acquired a larger measure of control over herself.
The nervous tension, however, was so complete physically that all her faculties
were acutely awake; very early she became conscious of a distant footstep.
To Stephen’s
straining ears the footsteps seemed wondrous slow, and more wondrous regular;
she felt instinctively that she would have liked to have listened to a more
hurried succession of less evenly-marked sounds. But notwithstanding these
thoughts, and the qualms which came in their turn, the sound of the coming feet
brought great joy. For, after all, they were coming; and coming just in time to
prevent the sense of disappointment at their delay gaining firm foothold. It
was only when the coming was assured that she felt how strong had been the
undercurrent of her apprehension lest they should not come at all.
Very sweet and
tender and beautiful Stephen looked at this moment. The strong lines of her
face were softened by the dark fire in her eyes and the feeling which glowed in
the deep blushes which mantled her cheeks. The proudness of her bearing was no
less marked than ever, but in the willowy sway of her body there was a yielding
of mere sorry pride. In all the many moods which the gods allow to good women
there is none so dear or so alluring, consciously as well as instinctively, to
true men as this self-surrender. As Leonard drew near, Stephen sank softly into
a seat, doing so with a guilty feeling of acting a part. When he actually came
into the grove he found her seemingly lost in a reverie as she gazed out over
the wide expanse in front of her. He was hot after his walk, and with something
very like petulance threw himself into a cane armchair, exclaiming as he did so
with the easy insolence of old familiarity:
‘What a girl you
are, Stephen! dragging a fellow all the way up here.
Couldn’t you have fixed it down below somewhere if you wanted to see me?’
Strangely
enough, as it seemed to her, Stephen did not dislike his tone of mastery. There
was something in it which satisfied her. The unconscious recognition of his
manhood, as opposed to her womanhood, soothed her in a peaceful way. It was
easy to yield to a dominant man. She was never more womanly than when she
answered him softly:
‘It was rather
unfair; but I thought you would not mind coming so far. It is so cool and
delightful here; and we can talk without being disturbed.’ Leonard was lying
back in his chair fanning himself with his wide-brimmed straw hat, with
outstretched legs wide apart and resting on the back of his heels. He replied
with grudging condescension:
‘Yes, it’s cool
enough after the hot tramp over the fields and through the wood. It’s not so good as the house, though, in one way: a man can’t get a
drink here. I say, Stephen, it wouldn’t be half bad if there were a shanty put
up here like those at the Grands Mulets or on the Matterhorn. There could be a
tap laid on where a fellow could quench his thirst on a day like this!’
Before Stephen’s
eyes floated a momentary vision of a romantic châlet with wide verandah and big
windows looking over the landscape; a great wide stone hearth; quaint furniture
made from the gnarled branches of trees; skins on the floor; and the walls
adorned with antlers, great horns, and various trophies of the chase. And
amongst them Leonard, in a picturesque suit, lolling back just as at present
and smiling with a loving look in his eyes as she handed him a great
blue-and-white Munich
beer mug topped with cool foam. There was a soft mystery in her voice as she
answered:
‘Perhaps,
Leonard, there will some day be such a place here!’ He seemed to grumble as he
replied:
‘I wish it was
here now. Some day seems a long way off!’
This seemed a
good opening for Stephen; for the fear of the situation was again beginning to
assail her, and she felt that if she did not enter on her task at once, its
difficulty might overwhelm her. She felt angry with herself that there was a
change in her voice as she said:
‘Some day may
mean—can mean everything. Things needn’t be a longer way off than we choose
ourselves, sometimes!’
‘I say, that’s a
good one! Do you mean to say that because I am some day to own Brindehow I can
do as I like with it at once, whilst the governor’s all there, and a better
life than I am any day? Unless you want me to shoot the old
man by accident when we go out on the First.’ He laughed a short,
unmeaning masculine laugh which jarred somewhat on her. She did not, however,
mean to be diverted from her main purpose, so she went on quickly:
‘You know quite
well, Leonard, that I don’t mean anything of the kind.
But there was something I wanted to say to you, and I wished that we should be
alone. Can you not guess what it is?’
‘No, I’ll be
hanged if I can!’ was his response, lazily given.
Despite her
resolution she turned her head; she could not meet his eyes. It cut her with a
sharp pain to notice when she turned again that he was not looking at her. He
continued fanning himself with his hat as he gazed out at the view. She felt
that the critical moment of her life had come, that it was now or never as to
her fulfilling her settled intention. So with a rush she went on her way:
‘Leonard, you
and I have been friends a long time. You know my views on some points, and that
I think a woman should be as free to act as a man!’ She paused; words and ideas
did not seem to flow with the readiness she expected. Leonard’s arrogant
assurance completed the dragging her back to earth which her own
self-consciousness began:
‘Drive on, old
girl! I know you’re a crank from Crankville on some subjects. Let us have it
for all you’re worth. I’m on the grass and listening.’
Stephen paused. ‘A crank from Crankville!’—this after her nights of sleepless
anxiety; after the making of the resolution which had cost her so much, and
which was now actually in process of realisation. Was it all worth so
much? why not abandon it now? . . . Abandon it!
Abandon a resolution! All the obstinacy of her nature—she classed it herself as
firmness—rose in revolt. She shook her head angrily, pulled herself together,
and went on:
‘That may be! though it’s not what I call myself, or what I am usually
called, so far as I know. At any rate my convictions are honest, and I am sure
you will respect them as such, even if you do not share them.’ She did not see
the ready response in his face which she expected, and so hurried on:
‘It has always
seemed to me that a—when a woman has to speak to a man she should do so as
frankly as she would like him to speak to her, and as freely. Leonard, I—I,’ as
she halted, a sudden idea, winged with possibilities of rescuing
procrastination came to her. She went on more easily:
‘I know you are
in trouble about money matters. Why not let me help you?’ He sat up and looked
at her and said genially:
‘Well, Stephen,
you are a good old sort! No mistake about it. Do you mean to say you would help
me to pay my debts, when the governor has refused to do so any more?’
‘It would be a
great pleasure to me, Leonard, to do anything for your good or your pleasure.’
There was a long
pause; they both sat looking down at the ground. The woman’s heart beat loud;
she feared that the man must hear it. She was consumed with anxiety, and with a
desolating wish to be relieved from the strain of saying more. Surely, surely
Leonard could not be so blind as not to see the state of things! . . . He would
surely seize the occasion; throw aside his diffidence and relieve her! . . .
His words made a momentary music in her ears as he spoke:
‘And is this
what you asked me to come here for?’
The words filled
her with a great shame. She felt herself a dilemma. It had been no part of her
purpose to allude his debts. Viewed in the light of
what was to follow, it would seem to him that she was trying to foreclose his
affection. That could not be allowed to pass; the error must be rectified. And
yet! . . . And yet this very error must be cleared up before she could make her
full wish apparent. She seemed to find herself compelled by inexorable
circumstances into an unlooked-for bluntness. In any case she must face the
situation. Her pluck did not fail her; it was with a very noble and graceful
simplicity that she turned to her companion and said:
‘Leonard, I did
not quite mean that. It would be a pleasure to me to be of that or any other
service to you, if I might be so happy! But I never meant to allude to your
debts. Oh! Leonard, can’t you understand! If you were my husband—or—or going to
be, all such little troubles would fall away from you. But I would not for the
world have you think . . . ’
Her very voice
failed her. She could not speak what was in her mind; she turned away, hiding
in her hands her face which fairly seemed to burn. This, she thought, was the
time for a true lover’s opportunity! Oh, if she had been a man, and a woman had
so appealed, how he would have sprung to her side and taken her in his arms, and in a wild rapture of declared affection have swept
away all the pain of her shame!
But she remained
alone. There was no springing to her side; no rapture of declared affection; no
obliteration of her shame. She had to bear it all alone. There, in the open;
under the eyes that she would fain have seen any other phase of her distress.
Her heart beat loud and fast; she waited to gain her self-control.
Leonard Everard
had his faults, plenty of them, and he was in truth composed of an amalgam of
far baser metals than Stephen thought; but he had been born of gentle blood and
reared amongst gentlefolk. He did not quite understand the cause or the amount
of his companion’s concern; but he could not but recognise her distress. He
realised that it had followed hard upon her most generous intention towards himself. He could not, therefore, do less than try to
comfort her, and he began his task in a conventional way, but with a blundering
awkwardness which was all manlike. He took her hand and held it in his; this
much at any rate he had learned in sitting on stairs or in conservatories after
extra dances. He said as tenderly as he could, but with an impatient gesture
unseen by her:
‘Forgive me,
Stephen! I suppose I have said or done something which I shouldn’t. But I don’t
know what it is; upon my honour I don’t. Anyhow, I am truly sorry for it. Cheer
up, old girl! I’m not your husband, you know; so you needn’t be distressed.’
Stephen took her
courage à deux mains. If Leonard would not speak she must. It was manifestly
impossible that the matter could be left in its present state.
‘Leonard,’ she
said softly and solemnly, ‘might not that some day be?’
Leonard, in
addition to being an egotist and the very incarnation of selfishness, was a
prig of the first water. He had been reared altogether in convention. Home life
and Eton and Christchurch
had taught him many things, wise as well as foolish; but had tended to fix his
conviction that affairs of the heart should proceed on adamantine lines of
conventional decorum. It never even occurred to him that a lady could so far
step from the confines of convention as to take the initiative in a matter of
affection. In his blind ignorance he blundered brutally. He struck better than
he knew, as, meaning only to pass safely by an awkward conversational corner,
he replied:
‘No jolly fear
of that! You’re too much of a boss for me!’ The words and the levity with which
they were spoken struck the girl as with a whip. She turned for an instant as
pale as ashes; then the red blood rushed from her heart, and face and neck were
dyed crimson. It was not a blush, it was a suffusion.
In his ignorance Leonard thought it was the former, and went on with what he
considered his teasing.
‘Oh yes! You
know you always want to engineer a chap your own way and make him do just as
you wish. The man who has the happiness of marrying you, Stephen, will have a
hard row to hoe!’ His ‘chaff’ with its utter want of refinement seemed to her,
in her high-strung earnest condition, nothing short of brutal, and for a few
seconds produced a feeling of repellence. But it is in the nature of things
that opposition of any kind arouses the fighting instinct of a naturally
dominant nature. She lost sight of her femininity in the pursuit of her
purpose; and as this was to win the man to her way of thinking, she took the
logical course of answering his argument. If Leonard Everard had purposely set
himself to stimulate her efforts in this direction he could hardly have chosen
a better way. It came somewhat as a surprise to Stephen, when she heard her own
words:
‘I would make a
good wife, Leonard! A husband whom I loved and honoured would, I think, not be
unhappy!’ The sound of her own voice speaking these words, though the tone was
low and tender and more self-suppressing by far than was her wont, seemed to
peal like thunder in her own ears. Her last bolt seemed to have sped. The blood
rushed to her head, and she had to hold on to the arms of the rustic chair or
she would have fallen forward.
The time seemed
long before Leonard spoke again; every second seemed an age. She seemed to have
grown tired of waiting for the sound of his voice; it was with a kind of
surprise that she heard him say:
‘You limit
yourself wisely, Stephen!’
‘How do you
mean?’ she asked, making a great effort to speak.
‘You would
promise to love and honour; but there isn’t anything about obeying.’
As he spoke
Leonard stretched himself again luxuriously, and laughed with the intellectual
arrogance of a man who is satisfied with a joke, however inferior, of his own
manufacture. Stephen looked at him with a long look which began in anger—that
anger which comes from an unwonted sense of impotence, and ends in tolerance,
the intermediate step being admiration. It is the primeval curse that a woman’s
choice is to her husband; and it is an important part of the teaching of a
British gentlewoman, knit in the very fibres of her being by the remorseless
etiquette of a thousand years, that she be true to him. The
man who has in his person the necessary powers or graces to evoke admiration in
his wife, even for a passing moment, has a stronghold unconquerable as a rule
by all the deadliest arts of mankind.
Leonard Everard
was certainly good to look upon as he lolled at his ease on that summer
morning. Tall, straight, supple; a typical British gentleman of the educated
class, with all parts of the body properly developed and held in some kind of
suitable poise.
As Stephen
looked, the anxiety and chagrin which tormented her seemed to pass. She
realised that here was a nature different from her own, and which should be
dealt with in a way unsuitable to herself; and the
conviction seemed to make the action which it necessitated more easy as well as
more natural to her. Perhaps for the first time in her life Stephen understood
that it may be necessary to apply to individuals a standard of criticism
unsuitable to self-judgment. Her recognition might have been summed up in the
thought which ran through her mind:
‘One must be a
little lenient with a man one loves!’
Stephen, when
once she had allowed the spirit of toleration to work within her, felt
immediately its calming influence. It was with brighter thoughts and better
humour that she went on with her task. A task only, it seemed now; a means to
an end which she desired.
‘Leonard, tell
me seriously, why do you think I gave you the trouble of coming out here?’
‘Upon my soul,
Stephen, I don’t know.’
‘You don’t seem
to care either, lolling like that when I am serious!’ The words were acid, but
the tone was soft and friendly, familiar and genuine, putting quite a meaning
of its own on them. Leonard looked at her indolently:
‘I like to
loll.’
‘But can’t you
even guess, or try to guess, what I ask you?’
‘I can’t guess.
The day’s too hot, and that shanty with the drinks is not built yet.’
‘Or may never be!’ Again he looked at her sleepily.
‘Never be! Why not?’
‘Because,
Leonard, it may depend on you.’
‘All right then.
Drive on! Hurry up the architect and the jerry-builder!’
A quick blush
leaped to Stephen’s cheeks. The words were full of meaning, though the tone
lacked something; but the news was too good. She could not accept it at once;
she decided to herself to wait a short time. Ere many seconds had passed she
rejoiced that she had done so as he went on:
‘I hope you’ll
give me a say before that husband of yours comes along. He might be a
blue-ribbonite; and it wouldn’t do to start such a shanty for rot-gut!’
Again a cold
wave swept over her. The absolute difference of feeling between the man and
herself; his levity against her earnestness, his callous blindness to her
purpose, even the commonness of his words chilled her. For a few seconds she
wavered again in her intention; but once again his comeliness and her own
obstinacy joined hands and took her back to her path. With chagrin she felt
that her words almost stuck in her throat, as summoning up all her resolution
she went on:
‘It would be for
you I would have it built, Leonard!’ The man sat up quickly.
‘For me?’ he
asked in a sort of wonderment.
‘Yes, Leonard, for you and me!’ She turned away; her blushes so overcame her
that she could not look at him. When she faced round again he was standing up,
his back towards her.
She stood up
also. He was silent for a while; so long that the silence became intolerable,
and she spoke:
‘Leonard, I am
waiting!’ He turned round and said slowly, the absence of all emotion from his
face chilling her till her face blanched:
‘I don’t think I
would worry about it!’
Stephen Norman
was plucky, and when she was face to face with any difficulty she was all
herself. Leonard did not look pleasant; his face was hard and there was just a
suspicion of anger. Strangely enough, this last made the next step easier to
the girl; she said slowly:
‘All right! I think I understand!’
He turned from
her and stood looking out on the distant prospect. Then she felt that the blow
which she had all along secretly feared had fallen on her. But her pride as
well as her obstinacy now rebelled. She would not accept a silent answer. There
must be no doubt left to torture her afterwards. She would take care that there
was no mistake. Schooling herself to her task, and pressing one hand for a
moment to her side as though to repress the beating of her heart, she came
behind him and touched him tenderly on the arm.
‘Leonard,’ she
said softly, ‘are you sure there is no mistake? Do you not see that I am asking
you,’ she intended to say ‘to be my husband,’ but she could not utter the
words, they seemed to stick in her mouth, so she finished the sentence: ‘that I
be your wife?’
The moment the
words were spoken—the bare, hard, naked, shameless words—the revulsion came. As
a lightning flash shows up the blackness of the night the appalling truth of
what she had done was forced upon her. The blood rushed to her head till cheeks
and shoulders and neck seemed to burn. Covering her face with her hands she
sank back on the seat crying silently bitter tears that seemed to scald her
eyes and her cheeks as they ran.
Leonard was
angry. When it began to dawn upon him what was the purpose of Stephen’s speech,
he had been shocked. Young men are so easily shocked by breaches of convention
made by women they respect! And his pride was hurt. Why should he have been
placed in such a ridiculous position! He did not love Stephen in that way; and
she should have known it. He liked her and all that sort of thing; but what
right had she to assume that he loved her? All the weakness of his moral nature
came out in his petulance. It was boyish that his eyes filled with tears. He
knew it, and that made him more angry than ever.
Stephen might well have been at a loss to understand his anger, as, with
manifest intention to wound, he answered her:
‘What a girl you
are, Stephen. You are always doing something or other to put a chap in the
wrong and make him ridiculous. I thought you were joking—not a good joke
either! Upon my soul, I don’t know what I’ve done that you should fix on me! I
wish to goodness—’
If Stephen had
suffered the red terror before, she suffered the white terror now. It was not
injured pride, it was not humiliation, it was not fear; it was something vague
and terrible that lay far deeper than any of these. Under ordinary
circumstances she would have liked to have spoken out her mind and given back
as good as she got; and even as the thoughts whirled through her brain they
came in a torrent of vague vituperative eloquence. But now her tongue was tied.
Instinctively she knew that she had put it out of her power to revenge, or even
to defend herself. She was tied to the stake, and must suffer without effort
and in silence.
Most humiliating
of all was the thought that she must propitiate the man who had so wounded her.
All love for him had in the instant passed from her; or rather she realised
fully the blank, bare truth that she had never really loved him at all. Had she
really loved him, even a blow at his hands would have been acceptable; but now
. . .
She shook the
feelings and thoughts from her as a bird does the water from its wings; and,
with the courage and strength and adaptability of her nature, addressed herself
to the hard task which faced her in the immediate present. With eloquent,
womanly gesture she arrested the torrent of Leonard’s indignation; and, as he
paused in surprised obedience, she said:
‘That will do,
Leonard! It is not necessary to say any more; and I am sure you will see, later
on, that at least there was no cause for your indignation! I have done an
unconventional thing, I know; and I dare say I shall have to pay for it in
humiliating bitterness of thought later on! But please remember we are all
alone! This is a secret between us; no one else need ever know or suspect it!’
She rose as she
concluded. The quiet dignity of her speech and bearing brought back Leonard in
some way to his sense of duty as a gentleman. He began, in a sheepish way, to
make an apology:
‘I’m sure I beg
your pardon, Stephen.’ But again she held the warning hand:
‘There is no
need for pardon; the fault, if there were any, was mine
alone. It was I, remember, who asked you to come here and who introduced and
conducted this melancholy business. I have asked you several things, Leonard,
and one more I will add—’tis only one: that you will forget!’
As she moved
away, her dismissal of the subject was that of an empress to a serf. Leonard
would have liked to answer her; to have given vent to his indignation that,
even when he had refused her offer, she should have the power to treat him if
he was the one refused, and to make him feel small and ridiculous in his own
eyes. But somehow he felt constrained to silence; her simple dignity outclassed
him.
There was
another factor too, in his forming his conclusion of silence. He had never seen
Stephen look so well, or so attractive. He had never respected her so much as
when her playfulness had turned to majestic gravity. All the boy and girl
strife of the years that had gone seemed to have passed away. The girl whom he
had played with, and bullied, and treated as frankly as though she had been a
boy, had in an instant become a woman—and such a woman as demanded respect and
admiration even from such a man.
When Leonard
Everard parted from Stephen he did so with a feeling of dissatisfaction:
firstly, with Stephen; secondly, with things in general; thirdly, with himself.
The first was definite, concrete, and immediate; he could give himself chapter
and verse for all the girl’s misdoing. Everything she had said or done had
touched some nerve painfully, or had offended his feelings; and to a man of his
temperament his feelings are very sacred things, to himself.
‘Why had she put
him in such a ridiculous position? That was the worst of women. They were always wanting him to do something he didn’t want to
do, or crying . . . there was that girl at Oxford.’
Here he turned
his head slowly, and looked round in a furtive way, which was getting almost a
habit with him. ‘A fellow should go away so that he wouldn’t have to swear
lies. Women were always wanting money; or worse: to be married! Confound women;
they all seemed to want him to marry them! There was the Oxford girl, and then the Spaniard, and now
Stephen!’ This put his thoughts in a new channel. He wanted money himself. Why,
Stephen had spoken of it herself; had offered to pay his debts. Gad! it was a good idea that every one round the countryside
seemed to know his affairs. What a flat he had been not to accept her offer
then and there before matters had gone further. Stephen had lots of money, more
than any girl could want. But she didn’t give him time to get the thing fixed .
. . If he had only known beforehand what she wanted he could have come prepared
. . . that was the way with women! Always thinking of themselves!
And now? Of course she wouldn’t stump up after his
refusing her. What would his father say if he came to hear of it? And he must
speak to him soon, for these chaps were threatening to County Court him if he
didn’t pay. Those harpies in Vere
Street were quite nasty . . . ’
He wondered if he could work Stephen for a loan.
He walked on
through the woodland path, his pace slower than before. ‘How pretty she had
looked!’ Here he touched his little moustache. ‘Gad! Stephen was a fine girl
anyhow! If it wasn’t for all that red hair . . . I like ’em dark better! . . . And her being such an infernal boss!’. . . Then he said
unconsciously aloud:
‘If I was her
husband I’d keep her to rights!’
Poor Stephen!
‘So that’s what
the governor meant by telling me that fortune was to be had, and had easily, if
a man wasn’t a blind fool. The governor is a starchy old party. He wouldn’t
speak out straight and say, “Here’s Stephen Norman, the richest girl you are
ever likely to meet; why don’t you make up to her and marry her?” But that
would be encouraging his son to be a fortune-hunter! Rot! . . . And now, just
because she didn’t tell me what she wanted to speak about, or the governor
didn’t give me a hint so that I might be prepared, I have gone and thrown away
the chance. After all it mightn’t be so bad. Stephen is a fine girl! . . . But
she mustn’t ever look at me as she did when I spoke about her not obeying. I mean
to be master in my own house anyhow!
‘A man mustn’t
be tied down too tight, even if he is married. And if there’s plenty of loose
cash about it isn’t hard to cover up your tracks . . . I think I’d better think
this thing over calmly and be ready when Stephen comes at me again. That’s the
way with women. When a woman like Stephen fixes her cold grey on a man she does
not mean to go asleep over it. I daresay my best plan will be to sit tight, and
let her work herself up a bit. There’s nothing like a little wholesome neglect
for bringing a girl to her bearings!’ . . .
For a while he
walked on in satisfied self-complacency.
‘Confound her! why couldn’t she have let me know that she was fond of me in
some decent way, without all that formal theatrical proposing? It’s a deuced
annoying thing in the long run the way the women get fond of me. Though it’s
nice enough in some ways while it lasts!’ he added, as if in unwilling
recognition of fact. As the path debouched on the highroad he said to himself
half aloud:
‘Well, she’s a
mighty fine girl, anyhow! And if she is red I’ve had about enough of the black!
. . . That Spanish girl is beginning to kick too! I wish I had never come
across . . . ’
‘Shut up, you
fool!’ he said to himself as he walked on.
When he got home
he found a letter from his father. He took it to his room before breaking the
seal. It was at least concise and to the point:
‘The enclosed
has been sent to me. You will have to deal with it yourself. You know my
opinion and also my intention. The items which I have marked have been incurred
since I spoke to you last about your debts. I shall not pay another farthing
for you. So take your own course!
‘Jasper Everard.’
The enclosed was
a jeweller’s bill, the length and the total of which lengthened his face and
drew from him a low whistle. He held it in his hand for a long time, standing
quite still and silent. Then drawing a deep breath he said aloud:
‘That settles
it! The halter is on me! It’s no use squealing. If it’s to be a red head on my
pillow! . . . All right! I must only make the best of it. Anyhow I’ll have a
good time to-day, even if it must be the last!’
That day Harold
was in Norcester on business. It was late when he went to the club to dine.
Whilst waiting for dinner he met Leonard Everard, flushed and somewhat at
uncertain in his speech. It was something of a shock to Harold to see him in
such a state.
Leonard was,
however, an old friend, and man is as a rule faithful to friends in this form
of distress. So in his kindly feeling Harold offered to drive him home, for he
knew that he could thus keep him out of further harm. Leonard thanked him in
uncertain speech, and said he would be ready. In the meantime he would go and
play billiards with the marker whilst Harold was having his dinner.
At ten o’clock
Harold’s dogcart was ready and he went to look for Leonard, who had not since
come near him. He found him half asleep in the smoking-room, much drunker than
he had been earlier in the evening.
The drive was
fairly long, so Harold made up his mind for a prolonged term of uneasiness and
anxiety. The cool night-air, whose effect was increased by the rapid motion,
soon increased Leonard’s somnolence and for a while he slept soundly, his
companion watching carefully lest he should sway over and fall out of the trap.
He even held him up as they swung round sharp corners.
After a time he
woke up, and woke in a nasty temper. He began to find fault in an incoherent
way with everything. Harold said little, just enough to prevent any cause for
further grievance. Then Leonard changed and became affectionate. This mood was
a greater bore than the other, but Harold managed to bear it with stolid
indifference. Leonard was this by time making promises to do things for him,
that as he was what he called a ‘goo’ fell’,’ he might count on his help and
support in the future. As Harold knew him to be a wastrel, over head and ears
in debt and with only the succession to a small estate, he did not take much
heed to his maunderings. At last the drunken man said something which startled
him so much that he instinctively drew himself together with such suddenness as
to frighten the horse and almost make him rear up straight.
‘Woa! Woa! Steady, boy. Gently!’ he said, quieting him. Then turning to his
companion said in a voice hollow with emotion and vibrant with suppressed
passion:
‘What was it you
said?’
Leonard, half
awake, and not half of that half master of himself, answered:
‘I said I will
make you agent of Normanstand when I marry Stephen.’
Harold grew
cold. To hear of any one marrying Stephen was to him like plunging him in a
glacier stream; but to hear her name so lightly spoken, and by such a man, was
a bewildering shock which within a second set his blood on fire.
‘What do you
mean?’ he thundered. ‘You marry Ste . . . Miss Norman! You’re not worthy to
untie her shoe! You indeed! She wouldn’t look on the same side of the street
with a drunken brute like you! How dare you speak of her in such a way!’
‘Brute!’ said
Leonard angrily, his vanity reaching inward to heart and brain through all the
numbing obstacle of his drunken flesh. ‘Who’s brute?
Brute yourself! Tell you goin’ to marry Stephen, ’cos Stephen wants it. Stephen
loves me. Loves me with all her red head! Wha’re you doin’! Wha!!’
His words merged
in a lessening gurgle, for Harold had now got him by the throat.
‘Take care what
you say about that lady! damn you!’ he said, putting
his face close the other’s with eyes that blazed. ‘Don’t you dare to mention
her name in such a way, or you will regret it longer than you can think. Loves you, you swine!’
The struggle and
the fierce grip on his throat sobered Leonard somewhat. Momentarily sobbed him
to that point when he could be coherent and vindictive, though not to the point
where he could think ahead. Caution, wisdom, discretion,
taste, were not for him at such a moment. Guarding his throat with both
hands in an instinctive and spasmodic manner he answered the challenge:
‘Who are you
calling swine? I tell you she loves me. She ought to know. Didn’t she tell me
so this very day!’ Harold drew back his arm to strike
him in the face, his anger too great for words. But the other, seeing the
motion and in the sobering recognition of danger, spoke hastily:
‘Keep your hair
on! You know so jolly much more than I do. I tell you that she told me this and
a lot more this morning when she asked me to marry her.’
Harold’s heart
grew cold as ice. There is something in the sound of a voice speaking
truthfully which a true man can recognise. Through all Leonard’s half-drunken
utterings came such a ring of truth; and Harold
recognised it. He felt that his voice was weak and hollow as he spoke, thinking
it necessary to give at first a sort of official denial to such a monstrous
statement:
‘Liar!’
‘I’m no liar!’
answered Leonard. He would like to have struck him in answer to such a word had
he felt equal to it. ‘She asked me to marry her to-day on the hill above the
house, where I went to meet her by appointment. Here! I’ll prove it to you.
Read this!’ Whilst he was speaking he had opened the greatcoat and was fumbling
in the breast-pocket of his coat. He produced a letter which he handed to
Harold, who took it with trembling hand. By this time the reins had fallen
slack and the horse was walking quietly. There was moonlight, but not enough to
read by. Harold bent over and lifted the driving-lamp next to him and turned it
so that he could read the envelope. He could hardly keep either lamp or paper still, his hand trembled so when he saw that the direction
was in Stephen’s handwriting. He was handing it back when Leonard said again:
‘Open it! Read
it! You must do so; I tell you, you must! You called me a liar, and now must
read the proof that I am not. If you don’t I shall have to ask Stephen to make
you!’ Before Harold’s mind flashed a rapid thought of what the girl might
suffer in being asked to take part in such a quarrel. He could not himself even
act to the best advantage unless he knew the truth . . . he took the letter
from the envelope and held it before the lamp, the paper fluttering as though
in a breeze from the trembling of his hand. Leonard looked on, the dull glare
of his eyes brightening with malignant pleasure as he beheld the other’s
concern. He owed him a grudge, and by God he would pay it. Had he not been
struck—throttled—called a liar! . . .
As he read the
words Harold’s face cleared. ‘Why, you infernal young scoundrel!’ he said
angrily, ‘that letter is nothing but a simple note from a young girl to an old
friend—playmate asking him to come to see her about some trivial thing. And you
construe it into a proposal of marriage. You hound!’ He held the letter whilst
he spoke, heedless of the outstretched hand of the other waiting to take it
back. There was a dangerous glitter in Leonard’s eyes. He knew his man and he
knew the truth of what he had himself said, and he felt, with all the strength
of his base soul, how best he could torture him. In the very strength of
Harold’s anger, in the poignancy of his concern, in the relief to his soul
expressed in his eyes and his voice, his antagonist realised the jealousy of
one who honours—and loves. Second by second Leonard grew more sober, and more
and better able to carry his own idea into act.
‘Give me my
letter!’ he began.
‘Wait!’ said
Harold as he put the lamp back into its socket. ‘That will do presently. Take
back what you said just now!’
‘What? Take back
what?’
‘That base lie;
that Miss Norman asked you to marry her.’
Leonard felt
that in a physical struggle for the possession of the letter he would be
outmatched; but his passion grew colder and more malignant, and in a voice that
cut like the hiss of a snake he spoke slowly and deliberately. He was all sober
now; the drunkenness of brain and blood was lost, for the time, in the strength
of his cold passion.
‘It is true. By
God it is true; every word of it! That letter, which you want to steal, is only
a proof that I went to meet her on Caester Hill by her own appointment. When I
got there, she was waiting for me. She began to talk about a châlet there, and
at first I didn’t know what she meant—’
There was such
conviction, such a triumphant truth in his voice, that Harold was convinced.
‘Stop!’ he
thundered; ‘stop, don’t tell me anything. I don’t want to hear. I don’t want to
know.’ He covered his face with his hands and groaned. It was not as though the
speaker were a stranger, in which case he would have been by now well on in his
death by strangulation; he had known Leonard all his life, and he was a friend
of Stephen’s. And he was speaking truth.
The baleful
glitter of Leonard’s eyes grew brighter still. He was as a serpent when he goes
to strike. In this wise he struck.
‘I shall not
stop. I shall go on and tell you all I choose. You have called me liar—twice.
You have also called me other names. Now you shall hear the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth. And if you won’t listen to me some one else
will.’ Harold groaned again; Leonard’s eyes brightened still more, and the evil
smile on his face grew broader as he began more and more to feel his power. He
went on to speak with a cold deliberate malignancy, but instinctively so
sticking to absolute truth that he could trust himself to hurt most. The other
listened, cold at heart and physically; his veins and arteries seemed stagnant.
‘I won’t tell
you anything of her pretty embarrassments; how her voice fell as she pleaded;
how she blushed and stammered. Why, even I, who am used to women and their
pretty ways and their passions and their flushings and their stormy
upbraidings, didn’t quite know for a while what she was driving at. So at last
she spoke out pretty plainly, and told me what a fond wife she’d make me if I
would only take her!’ Harold said nothing; he only rocked a little as one in
pain, and his hands fell. The other went on:
‘That is what
happened this morning on Caester Hill under the trees where I met Stephen
Norman by her own appointment; honestly what happened.
If you don’t believe me now you can ask Stephen. My Stephen!’ he added in a
final burst of venom as in a gleam of moonlight through a rift in the shadowy
wood he saw the ghastly pallor of Harold’s face. Then he added abruptly as he
held out his hand:
‘Now give me my
letter!’
In the last few
seconds Harold had been thinking. And as he had been thinking for the good, the
safety, of Stephen, his thoughts flew swift and true. This man’s very tone, the
openness of his malignity, the underlying scorn when he spoke of her whom
others worshipped, showed him the danger—the terrible immediate danger in which
she stood from such a man. With the instinct of a mind working as truly for the
woman he loved as the needle does to the Pole he spoke quietly, throwing a
sneer into the tone so as to exasperate his companion—it was brain against
brain now, and for Stephen’s sake:
‘And of course
you accepted. You naturally would!’ The other fell into the trap. He could not
help giving an extra dig to his opponent by proving him once more in the wrong.
‘Oh no, I
didn’t! Stephen is a fine girl; but she wants taking down a bit. She’s too high
and mighty just at present, and wants to boss a chap too much. I mean to be
master in my own house; and she’s got to begin as she will have to go on. I’ll
let her wait a bit: and then I’ll yield by degrees to her lovemaking. She’s a
fine girl, for all her red head; and she won’t be so bad after all!’
Harold listened,
chilled into still and silent amazement. To hear Stephen spoken of in such a
way appalled him. She of all women! . . . Leonard never knew how near sudden
death he was, as he lay back in his seat, his eyes getting dull again and his
chin sinking. The drunkenness which had been arrested by his passion was
reasserting itself. Harold saw his state in time and arrested his own movement
to take him by the throat and dash him to the ground. Even as he looked at him
in scornful hate, the cart gave a lurch and Leonard fell forward. Instinctively
Harold swept an arm round him and held him up. As he did so the unconsciousness
of arrested sleep came; Leonard’s chin sank on his breast and he breathed
stertorously.
As he drove on,
Harold’s thoughts circled in a tumult. Vague ideas of extreme measures which he
ought to take flashed up and paled away. Intention revolved upon itself till
its weak side was exposed, and, it was abandoned. He could not doubt the
essential truth of Leonard’s statement regarding the proposal of marriage. He
did not understand this nor did he try to. His own love for the girl and the
bitter awaking to its futility made him so hopeless that in his own desolation
all the mystery of her doing and the cause of it was merged and lost.
His only aim and
purpose now was her safety. One thing at least he could do: by fair means or
foul stop Leonard’s mouth, so that others need not know her shame! He groaned
aloud as the thought came to him. Beyond this first step he could do nothing,
think of nothing as yet. And he could not take this first step till Leonard had
so far sobered that he could understand.
And so waiting
for that time to come, he drove on through the silent night.
As they went on
their way Harold noticed that Leonard’s breathing became more regular, as in
honest sleep. He therefore drove slowly so that the other might be sane again
before they should arrive at the gate of his father’s place; he had something
of importance to say before they should part.
Seeing him
sleeping so peacefully, Harold passed a strap round him to prevent him falling
from his seat. Then he could let his thoughts run more freely. Her safety was
his immediate concern; again and again he thought over what he should say to
Leonard to ensure his silence.
Whilst he was
pondering with set brows, he was startled by Leonard’s voice at his side:
‘Is that you,
Harold? I must have been asleep!’ Harold remained silent, amazed at the change.
Leonard went on, quite awake and coherent:
‘By George! I must have been pretty well cut. I don’t remember a thing after coming
down the stairs of the club and you and the hall-porter helping me up here. I
say, old chap, you have strapped me up all safe and tight. It was good of you
to take charge of me. I hope I haven’t been a beastly nuisance!’ Harold
answered grimly:
‘It wasn’t
exactly what I should have called it!’ Then, after looking keenly at his
companion, he said: ‘Are you quite awake and sober now?’
‘Quite.’ The
answer came defiantly; there was something in his questioner’s tone which was
militant and aggressive. Before speaking further Harold pulled up the horse.
They were now crossing bare moorland, where anything within a mile could have
easily been seen. They were quite alone, and would be undisturbed. Then he
turned to his companion.
‘You talked a
good deal in your drunken sleep—if sleep it was. You appeared to be awake!’
Leonard answered:
‘I don’t
remember anything of it. What did I say?’
‘I am going to
tell you. You said something so strange and so wrong that you must answer for
it. But first I must know its truth.’
‘Must! You are pretty dictatorial,’ said Leonard angrily. ‘Must
answer for it! What do you mean?’
‘Were you on
Caester Hill to-day?’
‘What’s that to
you?’ There was no mistaking the defiant, quarrelsome intent.
‘Answer me! were you?’ Harold’s voice was strong and calm.
‘What if I was?
It is none of your affair. Did I say anything in what you have politely called
my drunken sleep?’
‘You did.’
‘What did I
say?’
‘I shall tell
you in time. But I must know the truth as I proceed. There is some one else
concerned in this, and I must know as I go on. You can easily judge by what I
say if I am right.’
‘Then ask away
and be damned to you!’ Harold’s calm voice seemed to quell the other’s
turbulence as he went on:
‘Were you on
Caester Hill this morning?’
‘I was.’
‘Did you meet
Miss --- a lady there?’
‘What . . . I
did!’
‘Was it by
appointment?’ Some sort of idea or half-recollection seemed to come to Leonard;
he fumbled half consciously in his breast-pocket. Then he broke out angrily:
‘You have taken
my letter!’
‘I know the
answer to that question,’ said Harold slowly. ‘You showed me the letter
yourself, and insisted on my reading it.’ Leonard’s heart began to quail. He
seemed to have an instinctive dread of what was coming. Harold went on calmly
and remorselessly:
‘Did a proposal
of marriage pass between you?’
‘Yes!’ The
answer was defiantly given; Leonard began to feel that his back was against the
wall.
‘Who made it?’
The answer was a sudden attempt at a blow, but Harold struck down his hand in
time and held it. Leonard, though a fairly strong man, was powerless in that
iron grasp.
‘You must
answer! It is necessary that I know the truth.’
‘Why must you?
What have you to do with it? You are not my keeper! Nor Stephen’s; though I
dare say you would like to be!’ The insult cooled Harold’s rising passion, even
whilst it wrung his heart.
‘I have to do
with it because I choose. You may find the answer if you wish in your last
insult! Now, clearly understand me, Leonard Everard. You know me of old; and
you know that what I say I shall do. One way or another, your life or mine may
hang on your answers to me—if necessary!’ Leonard felt himself pulled up. He
knew well the strength and purpose of the man. With a light laugh, which he
felt to be, as it was, hollow, he answered:
‘Well,
schoolmaster, as you are asking questions, I suppose I may as well answer them.
Go on! Next!’ Harold went on in the same calm, cold voice:
‘Who made the
proposal of marriage?’
‘She did.’
‘Did . . . Was
it made at once and directly, or after some preliminary suggestion?’
‘After a bit. I didn’t quite understand at first what she was driving at.’ There was a
long pause. With an effort Harold went on:
‘Did you
accept?’ Leonard hesitated. With a really wicked scowl he eyed his big,
powerfully-built companion, who still had his hand as in a vice. Then seeing no
resource, he answered:
‘I did not! That
does not mean that I won’t, though!’ he added defiantly. To his surprise Harold
suddenly released his hand. There was a grimness in
his tone as he said:
‘That will do! I
know now that you have spoken the truth, sober as well as drunk. You need say
no more. I know the rest. Most men—even brutes like you, if there are any—would
have been ashamed even to think the things you said, said openly to me, you
hound. You vile, traitorous, mean-souled hound!’
‘What did I
say?’
‘I know what you
said; and I shall not forget it.’ He went on, his voice deepening into a stern
judicial utterance, as though he were pronouncing a sentence of death:
‘Leonard
Everard, you have treated vilely a lady whom I love and honour more than I love
my own soul. You have insulted her to her face and behind her back. You have
made such disloyal reference to her and to her mad act in so trusting you, and
have so shown your intention of causing, intentionally or unintentionally, woe
to her, that I tell you here and now that you hold henceforth your life in your
hand. If you ever mention to a living soul what you have told me twice to-night,
even though you should be then her husband; if you should cause her harm though
she should then be your wife; if you should cause her dishonour in public or in
private, I shall kill you. So help me God!’
Not a word more
did he say; but, taking up the reins, drove on in silence till they arrived at
the gate of Brindehow, where he signed to him to alight.
He drove off in
silence.
When he arrived
at his own house he sent the servant to bed, and then went to his study, where
he locked himself in. Then, and then only, did he permit his thoughts to have
full range. For the first time since the blow had fallen he looked straight in
the face the change in his own life. He had loved Stephen so long and so
honestly that it seemed to him now as if that love had been the very foundation
of his life. He could not remember a time when he had not loved her; away back
to the time when he, a big boy, took her, a little girl, under his care, and
devoted himself to her. He had grown into the belief that so strong and so consistent
an affection, though he had never spoken it or even
hinted at it or inferred it, had become a part of her life as well as of his
own. And this was the end of that dreaming! Not only did she not care for him,
but found herself with a heart so empty that she needs must propose marriage to
another man! There was surely something, more than at present he knew of or
could understand, behind such an act done by her. Why should she ask Everard to
marry her? Why should she ask any man? Women didn’t do such things! . . . Here
he paused. ‘Women didn’t do such things.’ All at once there came back to him
fragments of discussions—in which Stephen had had a part, in which matters of
convention had been dealt with. Out of these dim and shattered memories came a
comfort to his heart, though his brain could not as yet grasp the reason of it.
He knew that Stephen had held an unconventional idea as to the equality of the
sexes. Was it possible that she was indeed testing one of her theories?
The idea stirred
him so that he could not remain quiet. He stood up, and walked the room.
Somehow he felt light beginning to dawn, though he could not tell its source,
or guess at the final measure of its fulness. The fact of Stephen having done
such a thing was hard to bear; but it was harder to think that she should have
done such a thing without a motive; or worse: with love of Leonard as a motive!
He shuddered as he paused. She could not love such a man. It was monstrous! And
yet she had done this thing . . . ‘Oh, if she had had any one to advise her, to
restrain her! But she had no mother! No mother! Poor
Stephen!’
The pity of it,
not for himself but for the woman he loved, overcame him. Sitting down heavily
before his desk, he put his face on his hands, and his great shoulders shook.
Long, long after
the violence of his emotion had passed, he sat there motionless, thinking with
all the power and sincerity he knew; thinking for Stephen’s good.
When a strong
man thinks unselfishly some good may come out of it. He may blunder; but the
conclusion of his reasoning must be in the main right. So it was with Harold.
He knew that he was ignorant of women, and of woman’s nature, as distinguished
from man’s. The only woman he had ever known well was
Stephen; and she in her youth and in her ignorance of the world and herself was
hardly sufficient to supply to him data for his present needs. To a
clean-minded man of his age a woman is something divine. It is only when in
later life disappointment and experience have hammered
bitter truth into his brain, that he begins to realise that woman is not
angelic but human. When he knows more, and finds that she is like himself,
human and limited but with qualities of purity and sincerity and endurance
which put his own to shame, he realises how much better a helpmate she is for
man than could be the vague, unreal creations of his dreams. And then he can
thank God for His goodness that when He might have given us Angels He did give
us women!
Of one thing,
despite the seeming of facts, he was sure: Stephen did not love Leonard. Every fibre of his being revolted at the thought. She of so high a nature; he of so low. She
so noble; he so mean. Bah! the belief was
impossible.
Impossible!
Herein was the manifestation of his ignorance; anything is possible where love
is concerned! It was characteristic of the man that in his mind he had
abandoned, for the present at all events, his own pain. He still loved Stephen
with all the strength of his nature, but for him the selfish side ceased to
exist. He was trying to serve Stephen; and every other thought had to give way.
He had been satisfied that in a manner she loved him in some way and in some
degree; and he had hoped that in the fulness of time the childish love would
ripen, so that in the end would come a mutual affection which was of the very
essence of Heaven. He believed still that she loved him in some way; but the
future that was based on hope had now been wiped out with a sudden and
unsparing hand. She had actually proposed marriage to another man. If the idea
of a marriage with him had ever crossed her mind she could have had no doubt of
her feeling toward another. . . . And yet? And yet he
could not believe that she loved Leonard; not even if all trains of reasoning
should end by leading to that point. One thing he had at present to accept,
that whatever might be the measure of affection Stephen might have for him, it
was not love as he understood it. He resolutely turned his back on the thought
of his own side of the matter, and tried to find some justification of
Stephen’s act.
‘Seek and ye
shall find; knock and it shall be opened to ye’ has perhaps a general as well
as a special significance. It is by patient tireless seeking that many a
precious thing has been found. It was after many a long cycle of thought that
the seeking and the knocking had effectual result. Harold came to believe,
vaguely at first but more definitely as the evidence nucleated, that Stephen’s
act was due to some mad girlish wish to test her own theory; to prove to
herself the correctness of her own reasoning, the fixity of her own purpose. He
did not go on analysing further; for as he walked the room with a portion of
the weight taken from his heart he noticed that the sky was beginning to
quicken. The day would soon be upon him, and there was work to be done.
Instinctively he knew that there was trouble in store for Stephen, and he felt
that in such an hour he should be near her. All her life she had been
accustomed to him. In her sorrows to confide in him, to tell
him her troubles so that they might dwindle and pass away; to enhance her
pleasures by making him a sharer in them.
Harold was
inspirited by the coming of the new day. There was work to be done, and the
work must be based on thought. His thoughts must take a practical turn; what
was he to do that would help Stephen? Here there dawned on him for the first
time the understanding of a certain humiliation which she had suffered; she had
been refused! She who had stepped so far out of the path of maidenly reserve in which she had always walked as to propose
marriage to a man, had been refused! He did not, could not, know to the full
the measure of such humiliation to a woman; but he could guess at any rate a
part. And that guessing made him grind his teeth in impotent rage.
But out of that
rage came an inspiration. If Stephen had been
humiliated by the refusal of one man, might not this be minimised if she in
turn might refuse another? Harold knew so well the sincerity of his own love
and the depth of his own devotion that he was satisfied that he could not err
in giving the girl the opportunity of refusing him. It would be some sort of
balm to her wounded spirit to know that Leonard’s views were not shared by all
men. That there were others who would deem it a joy to serve
as her slaves. When she had refused him she would perhaps feel easier in
her mind. Of course if she did not refuse him . . . Ah! well,
then would the gates of Heaven open . . . But that would never be. The past
could not be blotted out! All he could do would be to serve her. He would go
early. Such a man as Leonard Everard might make some new complication, and the
present was quite bad enough.
It was a poor
enough thing for him, he thought at length. She might trample on him; but it
was for her sake. And to him what did it matter? The worst had come. All was
over now!
On the morning
following the proposal Stephen strolled out into a beech grove, some little
distance from the house, which from childhood had been a favourite haunt of
hers. It was not in the immediate road to anywhere, and so there was no
occasion for any of the household or the garden to go through it or near it.
She did not put on a hat, but took only a sunshade, which she used in passing
over the lawn. The grove was on the side of the house away from her own room and the breakfast-room. When she had reached
its shade she felt that at last she was alone.
The grove was a
privileged place. Long ago a great number of young beeches had been planted so
thickly that as they grew they shot up straight and branchless in their
struggle for the light. Not till they had reached a considerable altitude had
they been thinned; and then the thinning had been so effected that, as the high
branches began to shoot out in the freer space, they met in time and interlaced
so closely that they made in many places a perfect screen of leafy shade. Here
and there were rifts or openings through which the light passed; under such
places the grass was fine and green, or the wild hyacinths in due season tinged
the earth with blue. Through the grove some wide alleys had been left: great
broad walks where the soft grass grew short and fine, and to whose edges came a
drooping of branches and an upspringing of undergrowth of laurel and
rhododendron. At the far ends of these walks were little pavilions of marble
built in the classic style which ruled for garden use two hundred years ago. At
the near ends some of them were close to the broad stretch of water from whose
edges ran back the great sloping banks of emerald sward dotted here and there
with great forest trees. The grove was protected by a ha-ha, so that it was
never invaded from without, and the servants of the house, both the domestics
and the gardeners and grooms, had been always forbidden to enter it. Thus by
long usage it had become a place of quiet and solitude for the members of the
family.
To this soothing
spot had come Stephen in her pain. The long spell of self-restraint during that
morning had almost driven her to frenzy, and she sought solitude as an anodyne
to her tortured soul. The long anguish of a third sleepless night, following on
a day of humiliation and terror, had destroyed for a time the natural
resilience of a healthy nature. She had been for so long in the prison of her
own purpose with Fear as warder; the fetters of conventional life had so galled
her that here in the accustomed solitude of this place, in which from childhood
she had been used to move and think freely, she felt as does a captive who has
escaped from an irksome durance. As Stephen had all along been free of movement
and speech, no such opportunities of freedom called to her. The pent-up passion
in her, however, found its own relief. Her voice was silent, and she moved with
slow steps, halting often between the green tree-trunks in the cool shade; but
her thoughts ran free, and passion found a vent. No stranger seeing the tall,
queenly girl moving slowly through the trees could have imagined the fierce
passion which blazed within her, unless he had been close enough to see her
eyes. The habit of physical restraint to which all her life she had been
accustomed, and which was intensified by the experience of the past thirty-six
hours, still ruled her, even here. Gradually the habit of security began to
prevail, and the shackles to melt away. Here had she come
in all her childish troubles. Here had she fought with herself, and conquered
herself. Here the spirits of the place were with her and not against her. Here
memory in its second degree, habit, gave her the full sense of spiritual
freedom.
As she walked to
and fro the raging of her spirit changed its objective: from restraint to its
final causes; and chief amongst them the pride which had been so grievously
hurt. How she loathed the day that had passed, and how more than all she hated
herself for her part in it; her mad, foolish, idiotic, self-importance which
gave her the idea of such an act and urged her to the bitter end of its
carrying out; her mulish obstinacy in persisting when every fibre of her being
had revolted at the doing, and when deep in her inmost soul was a deterring
sense of its futility. How could she have stooped to have done such a thing: to
ask a man . . . oh! the shame of it, the shame of it
all! How could she have been so blind as to think that such a man was worthy! .
. .
In the midst of
her whirlwind of passion came a solitary gleam of relief: she knew with
certainty that she did not love Leonard; that she had never loved him. The
coldness of disdain to him, the fear of his future acts which was based on
disbelief of the existence of that finer nature with which she had credited
him, all proved to her convincingly that he could never really have been within
the charmed circle of her inner life. Did she but know it, there was an even
stronger evidence of her indifference to him in the ready manner in which her
thoughts flew past him in their circling sweep. For a moment she saw him as the
centre of a host of besetting fears; but her own sense of superior power
nullified the force of the vision. She was able to cope with him and his doings, were there such need. And so her mind flew back to
the personal side of her trouble: her blindness, her folly, her shame.
In truth she was
doing good work for herself. Her mind was working truly and to a beneficent end.
One by one she was overcoming the false issues of her passion and drifting to
an end in which she would see herself face to face and would place so truly the
blame for what had been as to make it a warning and ennobling lesson of her
life. She moved more quickly, passing to and fro as does a panther in its cage
when the desire of forest freedom is heavy upon it.
That which makes
the irony of life will perhaps never be understood in its casual aspect by the
finite mind of man. The ‘why’ and ‘wherefore’ and the ‘how’ of it is only to be
understood by that All-wise intelligence which can scan the future as well as
the present, and see the far far-reaching ramifications of those schemes of
final development to which the manifestation of completed character tend.
To any mortal it
would seem a pity that to Stephen in her solitude, when her passion was working
itself out to an end which might be good, should come
an interruption which would throw it back upon itself in such a way as to
multiply its malignant force. But again it is a part of the Great Plan that
instruments whose use man’s finite mind could never predicate should be
employed: the seeming good to evil, the seeming evil to good.
As she swept to
and fro, her raging spirit compelling to violent movement, Stephen’s eyes were
arrested by the figure of a man coming through the aisles of the grove. At such
a time any interruption of her passion was a cause for heightening anger; but
the presence of a person was as a draught to a full-fed furnace. Most of all,
in her present condition of mind, the presence of a man—for the thought of a
man lay behind all her trouble, was as a tornado striking a burning forest. The
blood of her tortured heart seemed to leap to her brain and to suffuse her
eyes. She ‘saw blood’!
It mattered not
that the man whom she saw she knew and trusted. Indeed, this but added fuel to
the flame. In the presence of a stranger some of her habitual self-restraint
would doubtless have come back to her. But now the necessity for such was
foregone; Harold was her alter ego, and in his presence was safety. He was, in
this aspect, but a higher and more intelligent rendering of the trees around
her. In another aspect he was an opportune victim, something to strike at. When
the anger of a poison snake opens its gland, and the fang is charged with
venom, it must strike at something. It does not pause or consider what it may
be; it strikes, though it may be at stone or iron. So Stephen waited till her
victim was within distance to strike. Her black eyes, fierce with passion and
blood-rimmed as a cobra’s, glittered as he passed among the tree-trunks towards
her, eager with his errand of devotion.
Harold was a man
of strong purpose. Had he not been, he would never have come on his present
errand. Never, perhaps, had any suitor set forth on his quest with a heavier
heart. All his life, since his very boyhood, had been centred round the girl
whom to-day he had come to serve. All his thought had been for her: and to-day
all he could expect was a gentle denial of all his hopes, so that his future
life would be at best a blank.
But he would be
serving Stephen! His pain might be to her good; ought to be, to a certain
extent, to her mental ease. Her wounded pride would find some solace . . . As
he came closer the feeling that he had to play a part, veritably to act one,
came stronger and stronger upon him, and filled him with bitter doubt as to his
power. Still he went on boldly. It had been a part of his plan to seem to come
eagerly, as a lover should come; and so he came. When he got close to Stephen,
all the witchery of her presence came upon him as of old. After all, he loved
her with his whole soul; and the chance had come to tell her so. Even under the
distressing conditions of his suit, the effort had its charm.
Stephen schooled
herself to her usual attitude with him; and that, too, since the effort was
based on truth came with a certain ease to her. At the present time, in her
present frame of mind, nothing in the wide world could give her pleasure; the
ease which came, if it did not change her purpose, increased her power. Their
usual salutation, begun when she was a little baby, was ‘Good morning,
Stephen!’ ‘Good morning, Harold!’ It had become so much a custom that now it
came mechanically on her part. The tender reference to childhood’s days, though
it touched her companion to the quick, did not appeal to her since she had no
special thought of it. Had such a thought come to her it might have softened
her even to tears, for Harold had been always deep in her heart. As might have
been expected from her character and condition of mind, she was the first to
begin:
‘I suppose you
want to see me about something special, Harold, you have come so early.’
‘Yes, Stephen. Very special!’
‘Were you at the
house?’ she asked in a voice whose quietness might have conveyed a warning. She
was so suspicious now that she suspected even Harold of—of what she did not
know. He answered in all simplicity:
‘No. I came
straight here.’
‘How did you
know I should be here?’ Her voice was now not only quiet but sweet. Without
thinking, Harold blundered on. His intention was so single-minded, and his
ignorance of woman so complete, that he did not recognise even elementary
truths:
‘I knew you
always came here long ago when you were a child when you were in—’ Here it
suddenly flashed upon him that if he seemed to expect that she was in trouble
as he had purposed saying, he would give away his knowledge of what had
happened and so destroy the work to which he had set himself. So he finished
the sentence in a lame and impotent manner, which, however, saved complete
annihilation as it was verbally accurate: ‘in short frocks.’ Stephen needed to
know little more. Her quick intelligence grasped the fact that there was some
purpose afoot which she did not know or understand. She surmised, of course,
that it was some way in connection with her mad act, and she grew cooler in her
brain as well as colder in her heart as she prepared to learn more. Stephen had
changed from girl to woman in the last twenty-four hours; and all the woman in her was now awake. After a moment’s pause
she said with a winning smile:
‘Why, Harold,
I’ve been in long frocks for years. Why should I come here on this special day
on that account?’ Even as she was speaking she felt that it would be well to
abandon this ground of inquiry. It had clearly told her all it could. She would
learn more by some other means. So she went on in a playful way, as a cat—not a
kitten—does when it has got a mouse:
‘That reason
won’t work, Harold. It’s quite rusty in the joints. But never mind it! Tell me
why you have come so early?’ This seemed to Harold to be a heaven-sent opening;
he rushed in at once:
‘Because,
Stephen, I wanted to ask you to be my wife! Oh! Stephen, don’t you know that I
love you? Ever since you were a little girl! When you were a little girl and I
a big boy I loved you. I have loved you ever since with all my heart, and soul,
and strength. Without you the world is a blank to me! For you and your
happiness I would do anything—anything!’
This was no
acting. When once the barrier of beginning had been broken,
his soul seemed to pour itself out. The man was vibrant through all his
nature; and the woman’s very soul realised its truth. For an instant a flame of
gladness swept through her; and for the time it lasted put all other thought
aside.
But suspicion is
a hard metal which does not easily yield to fire. It can come to white heat
easily enough, but its melting-point is high indeed. When the flame had leaped
it had spent its force; the reaction came quick. Stephen’s heart seemed to turn
to ice, all the heat and life rushing to her brain. Her thoughts flashed with
convincing quickness; there was no time for doubting amid their rush. Her life
was for good or ill at the crossing of the ways. She had trusted Harold
thoroughly. The habit of her whole life from her babyhood up had been to so
look to him as comrade and protector and sympathetic friend. She was so
absolutely sure of his earnest devotion that this new experience of a riper
feeling would have been a joy to her, if it should be that his act was all
spontaneous and done in ignorance of her shame. ‘Shame’ was the generic word
which now summarised to herself her thought of her conduct in proposing to
Leonard. But of this she must be certain. She could not, dare not, go farther
till this was settled. With the same craving for certainty with which she
convinced herself that Leonard understood her overtures, and with the same
dogged courage with which she pressed the matter on him, she now went on to
satisfy her mind.
‘What did you do
yesterday?’
‘I was at
Norcester all day. I went early. By the way, here is the ribbon you wanted; I
think it’s exactly the same as the pattern.’ As he spoke he took a tissue-piper
parcel from his pocket and handed it to her.
‘Thanks!’ she
said. ‘Did you meet any friends there?’
‘Not many.’ He
answered guardedly; he had a secret to keep.
‘Where did you
dine?’
‘At the club!’ He began to be uneasy at this questioning; but he did not see any way to
avoid answering without creating some suspicion.
‘Did you see any
one you knew at the club?’ Her voice as she spoke was a little harder, a little
more strained. Harold noticed the change, rather by instinct than reason. He
felt that there was danger in it, and paused. The pause seemed to suddenly
create a new fury in the breast of Stephen. She felt that Harold was playing
with her. Harold! If she could not trust him, where then was she to look for
trust in the world? If he was not frank with her, what then meant his early coming;
his seeking her in the grove; his proposal of marriage, which seemed so sudden
and so inopportune? He must have seen Leonard, and by some means have become
acquainted with her secret of shame . . . His motive?
Here her mind
halted. She knew as well as if it had been trumpeted from the skies that Harold
knew all. But she must be certain . . . Certain!
She was standing
erect, her hands held down by her sides and clenched together till the knuckles
were white; all her body strung high—like an over-pitched violin. Now she
raised her right hand and flung it downward with a passionate jerk.
‘Answer me!’ she
cried imperiously. ‘Answer me! Why are you playing with me? Did you see Leonard
Everard last night? Answer me, I say. Harold An Wolf, you do not lie! Answer
me!’
As she spoke
Harold grew cold. From the question he now knew that Stephen had guessed his
secret. The fat was in the fire with a vengeance. He did not know what to do,
and still remained silent. She did not give him time to think, but spoke again,
this time more coldly. The white terror had replaced the red:
‘Are you not
going to answer me a simple question, Harold? To be silent now is to wrong me!
I have a right to know!’
In his trouble,
for he felt that say what he would he could only give her new pain, he said
humbly:
‘Don’t ask me,
Stephen! Won’t you understand that I want to do what is best for you? Won’t you
trust me?’ Her answer came harshly. A more experienced man than Harold, one who
knew women better, would have seen how overwrought she was, and would have made
pity the pivot of his future bearing and acts and words while the interview
lasted; pity, and pity only. But to Harold the high ideal was ever the same.
The Stephen whom he loved was no subject for pity, but for devotion only. He
knew the nobility of her nature and must trust it to the end. When her silence
and her blazing eyes denied his request, he answered her query in a low voice:
‘I did!’ Even
whilst he spoke he was thankful for one thing, he had not been pledged in any
way to confidence. Leonard had forced the knowledge on him; and though he would
have preferred a million times over to be silent, he was still free to speak.
Stephen’s next question came more coldly still:
‘Did he tell you
of his meeting with me?’
‘He did.’
‘Did he tell you
all?’ It was torture to him to answer; but he was at the stake and must bear
it.
‘I think so! If it was true.’
‘What did he
tell you? Stay! I shall ask you the facts myself; the broad facts. We need not
go into details . . . ’
‘Oh, Stephen!’ She silenced his pleading with an imperious hand.
‘If I can go
into this matter, surely you can. If I can bear the shame of telling, you can
at least bear that of listening. Remember that knowing—knowing what you know,
or at least what you have heard—you could come here and propose marriage to
me!’ This she said with a cold, cutting sarcasm which sounded like the rasping
of a roughly-sharpened knife through raw flesh. Harold groaned in spirit; he
felt a weakness which began at his heart to steal through him. It took all his
manhood to bear himself erect. He dreaded what was coming, as of old the
once-tortured victim dreaded the coming torment of the rack.
Stephen went on
in her calm, cold voice:
‘Did he tell you
that I had asked him to marry me?’ Despite herself, as she spoke the words a
red tide dyed her face. It was not a flush; it was not a blush; it was a sort
of flood which swept through her, leaving her in a few seconds whiter than
before. Harold saw and understood. He could not speak; he lowered his head
silently. Her eyes glittered more coldly. The madness that every human being
may have once was upon her. Such a madness is
destructive, and here was something more vulnerable than herself.
‘Did he tell you
how I pressed him?’ There was no red tide this time, nor
ever again whilst the interview lasted. To bow in affirmation was insufficient;
with an effort he answered:
‘I understood
so.’ She answered with an icy sarcasm:
‘You understood
so! Oh, I don’t doubt he embellished the record with some of his own
pleasantries. But you understood it; and that is sufficient.’ After a pause she
went on:
‘Did he tell you
that he had refused me?’
‘Yes!’ Harold
knew now that he was under the torture, and that there was no refusing. She
went on, with a light laugh, which wrung his heart even more than her pain had
done . . . Stephen to laugh like that!
‘And I have no
doubt that he embellished that too, with some of his fine masculine witticisms.
I understood myself that he was offended at my asking him. I understood it
quite well; he told me so!’ Then with feminine intuition she went on:
‘I dare say that
before he was done he said something kindly of the poor little thing that loved
him; that loved him so much, and that she had to break down all the bounds of
modesty and decorum that had made the women of her house honoured for a
thousand years! And you listened to him whilst he spoke! Oh-h-h!’ she quivered
with her white-hot anger, as the fierce heat in the heart of a furnace quivers.
But her voice was cold again as she went on:
‘But who could
help loving him? Girls always did. It was such a beastly nuisance! You
“understood” all that, I dare say; though perhaps he did not put it in such
plain words!’ Then the scorn, which up to now had been imprisoned, turned on
him; and he felt as though some hose of deathly chill was being played upon
him.
‘And yet you,
knowing that only yesterday, he had refused me—refused my pressing request that
he should marry me, come to me hot-foot in the early morning and ask me to be
your wife. I thought such things did not take place; that men were more
honourable, or more considerate, or more merciful! Or at least I used to think
so; till yesterday. No! till to-day. Yesterday’s
doings were my own doings, and I had to bear the penalty of them myself. I had
come here to fight out by myself the battle of my shame . . . ’
Here Harold
interrupted her. He could not bear to hear Stephen use such a word in
connection with herself.
‘No! You must
not say “shame.” There is no shame to you, Stephen. There can be none, and no
one must say it in my presence!’ In her secret heart of hearts she admired him
for his words; she felt them at the moment sink into her memory, and knew that
she would never forget the mastery of his face and bearing. But the blindness
of rage was upon her, and it is of the essence of this white-hot anger that it
preys not on what is basest in us, but on what is best. That Harold felt deeply
was her opportunity to wound him more deeply than before.
‘Even here in the
solitude which I had chosen as the battleground of my shame you had need to
come unasked, unthought of, when even a lesser mind than yours, for you are no
fool, would have thought to leave me alone. My shame was my own, I tell you;
and I was learning to take my punishment. My punishment! Poor creatures that we
are, we think our punishment will be what we would like best: to suffer in
silence, and not to have spread abroad our shame!’ How she harped on that word,
though she knew that every time she uttered it, it cut to the heart of the man
who loved her. ‘And yet you come right on top of my torture to torture me still
more and illimitably. You come, you who alone had the power to intrude yourself
on my grief and sorrow; power given you by my father’s kindness. You come to me
without warning, considerately telling me that you knew I would be here because
I had always come here when I had been in trouble. No—I do you an injustice.
“In trouble” was not what you said, but that I had come when I had been in short
frocks. Short frocks! And you came to tell me that you loved me. You thought, I
suppose, that as I had refused one man, I would jump at the next that came
along. I wanted a man. God! God! what have I done that
such an affront should come upon me? And come, too, from a hand that should
have protected me if only in gratitude for my father’s kindness!’ She was
eyeing him keenly, with eyes that in her unflinching anger took in everything
with the accuracy of sun-painting. She wanted to wound; and she succeeded.
But Harold had
nerves and muscles of steel; and when the call came to them they answered.
Though the pain of death was upon him he did not flinch. He stood before her
like a rock, in all his great manhood; but a rock on whose summit the waves had
cast the wealth of their foam, for his face was as white as snow. She saw and
understood; but in the madness upon her she went on trying new places and new
ways to wound:
‘You thought, I
suppose, that this poor, neglected, despised, rejected woman, who wanted so
much to marry that she couldn’t wait for a man to ask her, would hand herself
over to the first chance comer who threw his handkerchief to her; would hand
over herself—and her fortune!’
‘Oh, Stephen! How can you say such things, think such things?’ The protest broke from
him with a groan. His pain seemed to inflame her still further; to gratify her
hate, and to stimulate her mad passion:
‘Why did I ever
see you at all? Why did my father treat you as a son; that when you had grown
and got strong on his kindness you could thus insult his daughter in the
darkest hour of her pain and her shame!’ She almost
choked with passion. There was now nothing in the whole world that she could
trust. In the pause he spoke:
‘Stephen, I
never meant you harm. Oh, don’t speak such wild words. They will come back to
you with sorrow afterwards! I only meant to do you good. I wanted . . . ’ Her anger broke out afresh:
‘There; you
speak it yourself! You only wanted to do me good. I was so bad that any kind of
a husband . . . Oh, get out of my sight! I wish to God I had never seen you! I
hope to God I may never see you again! Go! Go! Go!’
This was the
end! To Harold’s honest mind such words would have been impossible had not
thoughts of truth lain behind them. That Stephen—his Stephen, whose image in
his mind shut out every other woman in the world, past, present, and
future—should say such things to any one, that she should think such things,
was to him a deadly blow. But that she should say them to him! . . . Utterance,
even the utterance which speaks in the inmost soul, failed him. He had in some
way that he knew not hurt—wounded—killed Stephen; for the finer part was gone
from the Stephen that he had known and worshipped so long. She wished him gone;
she wished she had never seen him; she hoped to God never to see him again.
Life for him was over and done! There could be no more happiness in the world;
no more wish to work, to live! . . .
He bowed
gravely; and without a word turned and walked away.
Stephen saw him
go, his tall form moving amongst the tree trunks till finally it was lost in
their massing. She was so filled with the tumult of her passion that she
looked, unmoved. Even the sense of his going did not change her mood. She raged
to and fro amongst the trees, her movements getting quicker and quicker as her
excitement began to change from mental to physical; till the fury began to
exhaust itself. All at once she stopped, as though arrested by a physical
barrier; and with a moan sank down in a helpless heap on the cool moss.
* * * * *
Harold went from
the grove as one seems to move in a dream. Little things and big were mixed up
in his mind. He took note, as he went towards the town by the byroads, of
everything around him in his usual way, for he had always been one of those who
notice unconsciously, or rather unintentionally. Long afterwards he could shut
his eyes and recall every step of the way from the spot where he had turned
from Stephen to the railway station outside Norcester. And on many and many
such a time when he opened them again the eyelids were wet. He wanted to get
away quickly, silently, unobserved. With the instinct of habitual thought his
mind turned London-ward. He met but few persons, and those only cottiers. He
saluted them in his usual cheery way, but did not stop to speak with any. He
was about to take a single ticket to London
when it struck him that this might look odd, so he asked for a return. Then,
his mind being once more directed towards concealment of purpose, he sent a
telegram to his housekeeper telling her that he was called away to London on business. It
was only when he was far on his journey that he gave thought to ways and means,
and took stock of his possessions. Before he took out his purse and pocket-book
he made up his mind that he would be content with what it was, no matter how
little. He had left Normanstand and all belonging to it for ever, and was off
to hide himself in whatever part of the world would afford him the best
opportunity. Life was over! There was nothing to look forward to; nothing to
look back at! The present was a living pain whose lightest element was despair.
As, however, he got further and further away, his practical mind began to work;
he thought over matters so as to arrange in his mind how best he could dispose of
his affairs, so to cause as little comment as might be, and to save the
possibility of worry or distress of any kind to Stephen.
Even then, in
his agony of mind, his heart was with her; it was not the least among his
troubles that he would have to be away from her when perhaps she would need him
most. And yet whenever he would come to this point in his endless chain of
thought, he would have to stop for a while, overcome with such pain that his
power of thinking was paralysed. He would never, could never, be of service to
her again. He had gone out of her life, as she had gone out of his life; though
she never had, nor never could out of his thoughts. It was all over! All the
years of sweetness, of hope, and trust, and satisfied and justified faith in each
other, had been wiped out by that last terrible, cruel meeting. Oh! how could she have said such things to him! How could she
have thought them! And there she was now in all the agony of her unrestrained
passion. Well he knew, from his long experience of her nature, how she must
have suffered to be in such a state of mind, to have so forgotten all the
restraint of her teaching and her life! Poor, poor Stephen! Fatherless now as
well as motherless; and friendless as well as fatherless! No one to calm her in
the height of her wild abnormal passion! No one to comfort her when the fit had
passed! No one to sympathise with her for all that she had suffered! No one to
help her to build new and better hopes out of the wreck of her mad ideas! He
would cheerfully have given his life for her. Only last night he was prepared
to kill, which was worse than to die, for her sake. And now to be far away,
unable to help, unable even to know how she fared. And behind
her eternally the shadow of that worthless man who had spurned her love and
flouted her to a chance comer in his drunken delirium. It was too bitter
to bear. How could God lightly lay such a burden on
his shoulders who had all his life tried to walk in sobriety and chastity and
in all worthy and manly ways! It was unfair! It was unfair! If
he could do anything for her? Anything! Anything! . . . And so the
unending whirl of thoughts went on!
The smoke of London was dim on the
horizon when he began to get back to practical matters. When the train drew up
at Euston he stepped from it as one to whom death would be a joyous relief!
He went to a
quiet hotel, and from there transacted by letter such business matters as were
necessary to save pain and trouble to others. As for himself, he made up his
mind that he would go to Alaska,
which he took to be one of the best places in the as yet uncivilised world for
a man to lose his identity. As a security at the start he changed his name; and
as John Robinson, which was not a name to attract public attention, he shipped
as a passenger on the Scoriac from London to New York.
The Scoriac was
one of the great cargo boats which take a certain number of passengers. The few
necessaries which he took with him were chosen with an eye to utility in that
frozen land which he sought. For the rest, he knew nothing, nor did he care how
or whither he went. His vague purpose was to cross the American Continent to San Francisco, and there to take passage for the high
latitudes north of the Yukon River.
* * * * *
When Stephen
began to regain consciousness her first sensation was one of numbness. She was
cold in the back, and her feet did not seem to exist; but her head was hot and
pulsating as though her brain were a living thing.
Then her half-open eyes began to take in her surroundings. For another long
spell she began to wonder why all around her was green. Then came
the inevitable process of reason. Trees! It is a wood! How did I come here? why am I lying on the ground?
All at once
wakened memory opened on her its flood-gates, and overwhelmed her with pain.
With her hands pressed to her throbbing temples and her burning face close to
the ground, she began to recall what she could of the immediate past. It all
seemed like a terrible dream. By degrees her intelligence came back to its
normal strength, and all at once, as does one suddenly wakened from sleep to
the knowledge of danger, she sat up.
Somehow the
sense of time elapsed made Stephen look at her watch.
It was half-past twelve. As she had come into the grove immediately after breakfast, and as Harold had almost immediately joined her,
and as the interview between them had been but short, she must have lain on the
ground for more than three hours. She rose at once, trembling in every limb. A
new fear began to assail her; that she had been missed at home, and that some
one might have come to look for her. Up to now she had not been able to feel
the full measure of pain regarding what had passed, but which would, she knew,
come to her in the end. It was too vague as yet; she could not realise that it
had really been. But the fear of discovery was immediate, and must be guarded
against without delay. As well as she could, she tidied herself and began to
walk slowly back to the house, hoping to gain her own room unnoticed. That her
general intelligence was awake was shown by the fact that before she left the
grove she remembered that she had forgotten her sunshade. She went back and
searched till she had found it.
Gaining her room
without meeting any one, she at once change her dress,
fearing that some soil or wrinkle might betray her. Resolutely she put back
from her mind all consideration of the past; there would be time for that later
on. Her nerves were already much quieter than they had been. That long faint,
or lapse into insensibility, had for the time taken the place of sleep. There
would be a price to be paid for it later; but for the present it had served its
purpose. Now and again she was disturbed by one thought; she could not quite
remember what had occurred after Harold had left, and just before she became
unconscious. She dared not dwell upon it, however. It would doubtless all come
back to her when she had leisure to think the whole matter over as a connected
narrative.
When the gong
sounded for lunch she went down, with a calm exterior, to face the dreaded
ordeal of another meal.
Luncheon passed
off without a hitch. She and her aunt talked as usual over all the small
affairs of the house and the neighbourhood, and the calm restraint was in
itself soothing. Even then she could not help feeling how much convention is to
a woman’s life. Had it not been for these recurring trials of set hours and
duties she could never have passed the last day and night without discovery of
her condition of mind. That one terrible, hysterical outburst was perhaps the
safety valve. Had it been spread over the time occupied in conventional duties
its force even then might have betrayed her; but without the necessity of
nerving herself to conventional needs, she would have infallibly betrayed
herself by her negative condition.
After lunch she
went to her own boudoir where, when she had shut the inner door, no one was
allowed to disturb her without some special need in the house or on the arrival
of visitors. This ‘sporting oak’ was the sign of ‘not at home’ which she had
learned in her glimpse of college life. Here in the solitude of safety, she
began to go over the past, resolutely and systematically.
She had already
been so often over the memory of the previous humiliating and unhappy day that
she need not revert to it at present. Since then had she not quarrelled with
Harold, whom she had all her life so trusted that her quarrel with him seemed
to shake the very foundations of her existence? As yet she had not remembered
perfectly all that had gone on under the shadow of the beech grove. She dared
not face it all at once, even as yet. Time must elapse before she should dare
to cry; to think of her loss of Harold was to risk breaking down altogether.
Already she felt weak. The strain of the last forty-eight hours was too much
for her physical strength. She began to feel, as she lay back in her cushioned
chair, that a swoon is no worthy substitute for sleep. Indeed it had seemed to
make the need for sleep even more imperative.
It was all too
humiliating! She wanted to think over what had been; to recall it as far as
possible so as to fix it in her mind, whilst it was still fresh. Later on, some
action might have to be based on her recollection. And yet . . . How could she
think when she was so tired . . . tired . . .
Nature came to
the poor girl’s relief at last, and she fell into a heavy sleep . . .
It was like
coming out of the grave to be dragged back to waking life out of such a sleep,
and so soon after it had begun. But the voice seemed to reach to her inner consciousness
in some compelling way. For a second she could not understand; but as she rose from the cushions the maid’s message repeated, brought
her wide awake and alert in an instant:
‘Mr. Everard,
young Mr. Everard, to see you, miss!’
The name braced
Stephen at once. Here was danger, an enemy to be encountered; all the fighting
blood of generations leaped to the occasion. The short spell of sleep had
helped to restore her. There remained still quite enough of mental and nervous
excitement to make her think quickly; the words were hardly out of the maid’s
mouth before her resolution was taken. It would never do to let Leonard Everard
see she was diffident about meeting him; she would go down at once. But she
would take the precaution of having her aunt present; at any rate, till she
should have seen how the land lay. Her being just waked from sleep would be an
excuse for asking her aunt to see the visitor till she came down. So she said
to the maid:
‘I have been
asleep. I must have got tired walking in the wood in the heat. Ask Auntie to
kindly see Mr. Everard in the blue drawing-room till I come down. I must tidy
my hair; but I will be down in a few minutes.’
‘Shall I send
Marjorie to you, miss?’
‘No! Don’t mind;
I can do what I want myself. Hurry down to Miss Rowly!’
How she regarded
Leonard Everard now was shown in her instinctive classing him amongst her
enemies.
When she entered
the room she seemed all aglow. She wanted not only to overcome but to punish;
and all the woman in her had risen to the effort.
Never in her life had Stephen Norman looked more radiantly beautiful, more
adorable, more desirable. Even Leonard Everard felt
his pulses quicken as he saw that glowing mass of beauty standing out against
the cold background of old French tapestry. All the physical side of him leaped
in answer to the call of her beauty; and even his cold heart and his
self-engrossed brain followed with slower gait. He had been sitting opposite
Miss Rowly in one of the windows, twirling his hat in nervous suspense. He
jumped up, and, as she came towards him, went forward rapidly to greet her. No
one could mistake the admiration in his eyes. Ever since he had made up his
mind to marry her she had assumed a new aspect in his thoughts. But now her
presence swept away all false imaginings; from the moment that her loveliness
dawned upon him something like love began to grow within his breast. Stephen
saw the look and it strengthened her. He had so grievously wounded her pride
the previous day that her victory on this was a compensation which set her more
at her old poise.
Her greeting was
all sweetness: she was charmed to see him. How was his
father, and what was the news? Miss Rowly looked on with smiling visage. She
too had seen the look of admiration in his eyes, and it pleased her. Old
ladies, especially when they are maiden ladies, always like to see admiration
in the eyes of young men when they are turned in the direction of any girl dear
to them.
They talked for
some time, keeping all the while, by Stephen’s clever generalship, to the
small-talk of the neighbourhood and the minor events of social importance. As
the time wore on she could see that Leonard was growing impatient, and
evidently wanted to see her alone. She ignored, however, all his little private
signalling, and presently ordered tea to be brought. This took some little
time; when it had been brought and served and drunk, Leonard was in a smothered
fume of impatience. She was glad to see that as yet her aunt had noticed
nothing, and she still hoped that she would be able to so prolong matters, that
she would escape without a private interview. She did not know the cause of
Leonard’s impatience: that he must see her before the day passed. She too was
an egoist, in her own way; in the flush of belief of his subjugation she did
not think of attributing to him any other motive than his desire for herself.
As she had made up her mind on the final issue she did not want to be troubled
by a new ‘scene.’
But, after all,
Leonard was a man; and man’s ways are more direct than woman’s. Seeing that he
could not achieve his object in any other way, he said out suddenly, thinking,
and rightly, that she would not wish to force an issue in the presence of her
aunt:
‘By the way,
Miss Norman,’
he had always called her ‘Miss Norman’ in her aunt’s presence: ‘I want to have
two minutes with you before I go. On a matter of business,’ he added, noticing
Miss Rowly’s surprised look. The old lady was old-fashioned even for her age;
in her time no young man would have asked to see a young lady alone on
business. Except on one kind of business; and with regard to
that kind of business gentlemen had to obtain first the confidence and
permission of guardians. Leonard saw the difficulty and said quickly:
‘It is on the
matter you wrote to me about!’
Stephen was
prepared for a nasty shock, but hardly for so nasty a one as this. There was an
indelicacy about it which went far beyond the bounds of thoughtless
conventionality. That such an appeal should be made to her, and in such a way,
savoured of danger. Her woman’s intuition gave her the guard, and at once she
spoke, smilingly and gently as one recalling a matter in which the concern is
not her own:
‘Of course! It was selfish of me not to have thought of it, and to have kept you so
long waiting. The fact is, Auntie, that Leonard—I like to call him Leonard,
since we were children together, and he is so young; though perhaps it would be
more decorous nowadays to say “Mr. Everard”—has consulted me about his debts.
You know, Auntie dear, that young men will be young men in such matters; or
perhaps you do not, since the only person who ever worried you has been myself. But I stayed at Oxford and I know something of young men’s
ways; and as I am necessarily more or less of a man of business, he values my
help. Don’t you, Leonard?’ The challenge was so direct, and the position he was
in so daringly put, that he had to acquiesce. Miss Rowly, who had looked on
with a frown of displeasure, said coldly:
‘I know you are
your own mistress, my dear. But surely it would be better if Mr. Everard would
consult with his solicitor or his father’s agent, or some of his gentlemen
friends, rather than with a young lady whose relations with him, after all, are
only those of a neighbour on visiting terms. For my own part, I should have
thought that Mr. Everard’s best course would have been to consult his own
father! But the things that gentlemen, as well as ladies do,
have been sadly changed since my time!’ Then, rising in formal dignity, she bowed
gravely to the visitor before leaving the room.
But the position
of being left alone in the room with Leonard did not at all suit Stephen’s
plans. Rising quickly she said to her aunt:
‘Don’t stir,
Auntie. I dare say you are right in what you say; but I promised Mr. Everard to
go into the matter. And as I have brought the awkwardness on myself, I suppose
I must bear it. If Mr. Everard wants to see me alone, and I suppose he is
diffident in speaking on such a matter before you—he didn’t play with you, you
know!—we can go out on the lawn. We shan’t be long!’ Before Leonard could
recover his wits she had headed him out on the lawn.
Her strategy was
again thoroughly good. The spot she chose, though beyond earshot, was quite in
the open and commanded by all the windows in that side of the house. A person
speaking there might say what he liked, but his actions must be discreet.
On the lawn
Stephen tripped ahead; Leonard followed inwardly raging. By her clever use of
the opening she had put him in a difficulty from which there was no immediate
means of extrication. He could not quarrel overtly with Stephen; if he did so,
how could he enter on the pressing matter of his debts? He dared not openly
proclaim his object in wishing to marry her, for had he done so her aunt might
have interfered, with what success he could not be sure. In any case it would
cause delay, and delay was what he could not afford. He felt that in mentioning
his debts at just such a movement he had given Stephen the chance she had so
aptly taken. He had to be on his good behaviour, however; and with an
apprehension that was new to him he followed her.
An old Roman
marble seat was placed at an angle from the house so that the one of the two
occupants within its curve must almost face the house, whilst the other gave to
it at least a quarter-face. Stephen seated herself on
the near side, leaving to Leonard the exposed position. As soon as he was
seated, she began:
‘Now, Leonard,
tell me all about the debts?’ She spoke in tones of gay friendliness, but
behind the mask of her cheerfulness was the real face of fear. Down deep in her
mind was a conviction that her letter was a pivotal point of future sorrow. It
was in the meantime quite apparent to her that Leonard kept it as his last
resource; so her instinct was to keep it to the front and thus minimise its
power.
Leonard, though
inwardly weakened by qualms of growing doubt, had the animal instinct that, as
he was in opposition, his safety was in attacking where his opponent most
feared. He felt that there was some subtle change in his companion; this was
never the same Stephen Norman whom only yesterday he had met upon the hill! He
plunged at once into his purpose.
‘But it wasn’t
about my debts you asked me to meet you, Stephen.’
‘You surprise
me, Leonard! I thought I simply asked you to come to meet me. I know the first
subject I mentioned when we began to talk, after your grumbling about coming in
the heat, was your money matters.’ Leonard winced, but went on:
‘It was very
good of you, Stephen; but really that is not what I came to speak of to-day. At
first, at all events!’ he added with a sublime naïvetté, as the subject of his
debts and his imperative want of money rose before him. Stephen’s eyes flashed;
she saw more clearly than ever through his purpose. Such as admission at the
very outset of the proffer of marriage, which she felt was coming, was little
short of monstrous. Her companion did not see the look of mastery on her face;
he was looking down at the moment. A true lover would have been looking up.
‘I wanted to
tell you, Stephen, that I have been thinking over what you said to me in your
letter, and what you said in words; and I want to accept!’ As he was speaking
he was looking her straight in the face.
Stephen answered
slowly with a puzzled smile which wrinkled up her forehead:
‘Accept what I
said in my letter! why, Leonard, what do you mean?
That letter must have had a lot more in it than I thought. I seem to remember
that it was simply a line asking you to meet me. Just let me look at it; I
should like to be sure of what actually is!’ As she spoke she held out her
hand. Leonard was nonplussed; he did not know what to say. Stephen made up her
mind to have the letter back. Leonard was chafing under the position forced
upon him, and tried to divert his companion from her purpose. He knew well why
she had chosen that exposed position for their interview. Now, as her
outstretched hand embarrassed him, he made reprisal; he tried to take it in his
in a tender manner.
She instantly
drew back her hand and put it behind her in a decided manner. She was
determined that whatever might happen she would not let any watcher at the
windows, by chance or otherwise, see any sign of tenderness on her part.
Leonard, thinking that his purpose had been effected,
went on, breathing more freely:
‘Your letter
wasn’t much. Except of course that it gave me the opportunity of listening to
what you said; to all your sweet words. To your more than
sweet proposal!’
‘Yes! It must
have been sweet to have any one, who was in a position to do so, offer to help
you when you knew that you were overwhelmed with debts!’ The words were brutal.
Stephen felt so; but she had no alternative. Leonard had some of the hard side
of human nature; but he had also some of the weak side. He went on blindly:
‘I have been
thinking ever since of what you said, and I want to tell you that I would like
to do as you wish!’ As he spoke, his words seemed even to him to be out of
place. He felt it would be necessary to throw more fervour into the proceedings.
The sudden outburst which followed actually amused Stephen, even in her state
of fear:
‘Oh, Stephen,
don’t you know that I love you! You are so beautiful! I love you! I love you!
Won’t you be my wife?’
This was getting
too much to close quarters. Stephen said in a calm, business-like way:
‘My dear Leonard, one thing at a time! I came out here, you
know, to speak of your debts; and until that is done, I really won’t go into
any other matter. Of course if you’d rather not . . . ’
Leonard really could not afford this; matters were too pressing with him. So he
tried to affect a cheery manner; but in his heart was a black resolve that she
should yet pay for this.
‘All right! Stephen. Whatever you wish I will do; you are the queen of my heart, you
know!’
‘How much is the
total amount?’ said Stephen.
This was a
change to the prosaic which made sentiment impossible. He gave over, for the
time.
‘Go on!’ said
Stephen, following up her advantage. ‘Don’t you even know how much you owe?’
‘The fact is, I don’t. Not exactly. I shall
make up the amount as well as I can and let you know. But that’s not what I
came about to-day.’ Stephen was going to make an angry gesture of dissent. She
was not going to have that matter opened up. She waited, however, for Leonard
was going on after his momentary pause. She breathed more freely after his
first sentence. He was unable evidently to carry on a double train of thought.
‘It was about
that infernal money-lenders’ letter that the Governor got!’ Stephen got still
less anxious. This open acknowledgment of his true purpose seemed to clear the
air.
‘What is the
amount?’ Leonard looked quickly at her; the relief of her
mind made her tone seem joyful.
‘A monkey! Five hundred pounds, you know. But then there’s three hundred for
interest that has to be paid also. It’s an awful lot of money, isn’t it?’ The
last phrase was added on seeing Stephen’s surprised look.
‘Yes!’ she
answered quietly. ‘A great deal of money—to waste!’ They were both silent for a
while. Then she said:
‘What does your
father say to it?’
‘He was in an
awful wax. One of these beastly duns had written to him about another account
and he was in a regular fury. When I told him I would pay it within a week, he
said very little, which was suspicious; and then, just when I was going out, he
sprung this on me. Mean of him! wasn’t it? I need
expect no help from him.’ As he was speaking he took a mass of letters from his
pocket and began to look among them for the money-lenders’ letter.
‘Why, what a
correspondence you have there. Do you keep all your letters in your pockets?’
said Stephen quietly.
‘All I don’t
tear up or burn. It wouldn’t do to let the Governor into my secrets. He might
know too much!’
‘And are all
those letters from duns?’
‘Mostly, but I
only keep those letters I have to attend to and those I care for.’
‘Show me the
bundle!’ she said. Then seeing him hesitate, added:
‘You know if I
am to help you to get clear you must take me into your confidence. I dare say I
shall have to see a lot more letters than these before you are quite clear!’
Her tone was too quiet. Knowing already the silent antagonism between them he
began to suspect her; knowing also that her own letter was not amongst them, he used his wits and handed them over without a word.
She, too, suspected him. After his tacit refusal to give her the letter, she
almost took it for granted that it was not amongst them. She gave no evidence
of her feeling, however, but opened and read the letters in due sequence; all
save two, which, being in a female hand, she gave back
without a word. There was a calmness and an utter absence of concern, much less
of jealousy, about this which disconcerted him. Throughout her reading
Stephen’s face showed surprise now and again; but when she came to the last,
which was that of the usurers, it showed alarm. Being a woman, a legal threat
had certain fears of its own.
‘There must be
no delay about this!’ she said.
‘What am I to
do?’ he answered, a weight off his mind that the
fiscal matter had been practically entered on.
‘I shall see that
you get the money!’ she said quietly. ‘It will be really a gift, but I prefer
it to be as a loan for many reasons.’ Leonard made no comment. He found so many
reasons in his own mind that he thought it wise to forbear from asking any of
hers. Then she took the practical matter in hand:
‘You must wire
to these people at once to say that you will pay the amount on the day after
to-morrow. If you will come here to-morrow at four o’clock the money will be
ready for you. You can go up to town by the evening train and pay off the debt
first thing in the morning. When you bring the receipt I shall speak to you
about the other debts; but you must make out a full list of them. We can’t have
any half-measure. I will not go into the matter till I have all the details
before me!’ Then she stood up to go.
As they walked
across the lawn, she said:
‘By the way,
don’t forget to bring that letter with you. I want to see what I really did say
in it!’ Her tone was quiet enough, and the wording was a request; but Leonard
knew as well as if it had been spoken outright as a threat that if he did not
have the letter with him when he came things were likely to be unpleasant.
The farther he
got from Normanstand on his way home the more discontented Leonard grew. Whilst
he had been in Stephen’s presence she had so dominated him, not only by her
personality but by her use of her knowledge of his own circumstances, that he
had not dared to make protest or opposition; but now he began to feel how much
less he was to receive than he had expected. He had come prepared to allow
Stephen to fall into his arms, fortune and all. But now, although he had
practical assurance that the weight of his debts would be taken from him, he
was going away with his tail between his legs. He had not even been accepted as
a suitor, he who had himself been wooed only a day before. His proposal of
marriage had not been accepted, had not even been considered by the woman who
had so lately broken ironclad convention to propose marriage to him. He had
been treated merely as a scapegrace debtor who had come to ask favours from an
old friend. He had even been treated like a bad boy; had been told that he had
wasted money; had been ordered, in no doubtful way, to bring the full schedule
of his debts. And all the time he dared not say anything lest the thing
shouldn’t come off at all. Stephen had such an infernally masterly way with
her! It didn’t matter whether she was proposing to him, or he was proposing to
her, he was made to feel small all the same. He would have to put up with it
till he had got rid of the debts!
And then as to the letter. Why was she so persistent about seeing it? Did she
want to get it into her hands and then keep it, as Harold An Wolf had done? Was
it possible that she suspected he would use it to coerce her; she would call it
‘blackmail,’ he supposed. This being the very thing he had intended to do, and
had done, he grew very indignant at the very thought of being accused of it. It
was, he felt, a very awkward thing that he had lost possession of the letter.
He might need it if Stephen got nasty. Then Harold might give it to her, as he
had threatened to do. He thought he would call round that evening by Harold’s house, and see if he couldn’t get back the letter. It
belonged to him; Harold had no right to keep it. He would see him before he and
Stephen got putting their heads together. So, on his way home, he turned his
steps at once to Harold’s house.
He did not find
him in. The maid who opened the door could give him no information; all she
could say was that Mrs. Dingle the housekeeper had got a telegram from Master
saying that he had been called suddenly away on business.
This was a new
source of concern to Leonard. He suspected a motive of some sort; though what
that motive could be he could not hazard the wildest guess. On his way home he
called at the post-office and sent a telegram to Cavendish and Cecil, the name
of the usurers’ firm, in accordance with Stephen’s direction. He signed it:
‘Jasper Everard.’
When Stephen had
sent off her letter to the bank she went out for a stroll; she knew it would be
no use trying to get rest before dinner. That ordeal, too, had to be gone
through. She found herself unconsciously going in the direction of the grove;
but when she became aware of it a great revulsion overcame her, and she
shuddered.
Slowly she took
her way across the hard stretch of finely-kept grass which lay on the side of
the house away from the wood. The green sward lay like a sea, dotted with huge
trees, singly, or in clumps as islands. In its far-stretching stateliness there
was something soothing. She came back to the sound of the dressing-gong with a
better strength to resist the trial before her. Well she knew her aunt would
have something to say on the subject of her interference in Leonard Everard’s
affairs.
Her fears were
justified, for when they had come into the drawing-room after dinner Miss Rowly
began:
‘Stephen dear,
is it not unwise of you to interfere in Mr. Everard’s affairs?’
‘Why unwise, Auntie?’
‘Well, my dear,
the world is censorious. And when a young lady, of your position and your
wealth, takes a part in a young man’s affairs tongues are apt to wag. And also,
dear, debts, young men’s debts, are hardly the subjects for a girl’s investigation.
Remember, that we ladies live very different lives from men; from some men, I
should say, for your dear father was the best of men, and I should think that
in all his life there was nothing which he would have wished concealed. But, my
dear, young men are less restrained in their ways than we are, than we have to
be for our own safety and protection.’ The poor lady was greatly perturbed at
having to speak in such a way. Stephen saw her distress; coming over to her,
she sat down and took her hand. Stephen had a very tender side to her nature,
and she loved very truly the dear old lady who had taken her mother’s place and
had shown her all a mother’s love. Now, in her loneliness and woe and fear, she
clung to her in spirit. She would have liked to have clung to her physically;
to have laid her head on her bosom, and have cried her heart out. The time for
tears had not come. Hourly she felt more and more the weight that a shameful
secret is to carry. She knew, however, that she could set her aunt’s mind at
rest on the present subject; so she said:
‘I think you are
right, Auntie dear. It would have been better if I had asked you first; but I
saw that Leonard was in distress, and wormed the cause of it from him. When I
heard that it was only debt I offered to help him. He is an old friend, you
know, Auntie. We were children together; and as I have much more money than I
can ever want or spend, I thought I might help him. I am afraid I have let
myself in for a bigger thing than I intended; but as I have promised I must go
on with it. I dare say, Auntie, that you are afraid
that I may end by getting in love with him, and marrying him. Don’t you, dear?’
This was said with a hug and a kiss which gave the old lady delight. Her
instinct told her what was coming. She nodded her head in acquiescence. Stephen
went on gravely:
‘Put any such
fear out of your mind. I shall never marry him. I can never love him.’ She was
going to say ‘could never love him,’ when she remembered.
‘Are you sure,
my dear? The heart is not always under one’s own control.’
‘Quite sure, Auntie. I know Leonard Everard; and though I have always
liked him, I do not respect him. Why, the very fact of his coming to me for
money would make me reconsider any view I had formed, had nothing else ever
done so. You may take it, Auntie dear, that in the way
you mean Leonard is nothing to me; can never be anything to me!’ Here a sudden
inspiration took her. In its light a serious difficulty passed, and the doing
of a thing which had a fear of its own became easy. With a conviction in her
tone, which in itself aided her immediate purpose, she said:
‘I shall prove
it to you. That is, if you will not mind doing something which will save me an
embarrassment.’
‘You know I will
do anything, my dearest, which an old woman can do for a young one!’ Stephen
squeezed the mittened hand which she held as she went on:
‘As I said, I
have promised to lend him some money. The first instalment is to be given him
to-morrow; he is to call for it in the afternoon. Will you give it to him for
me?’
‘Gladly, my
dear,’ said the old lady, much relieved. Stephen continued:
‘One other
thing, Auntie, I want you to do for me: not to think of the amount, or to say a
word to me about it. It is a large sum, and I dare say it will frighten you a
little. But I have made up my mind to it. I am learning a great deal out of
this, Auntie dear; and I am quite willing to pay for my knowledge. After all,
money is the easiest and cheapest way of paying for knowledge! Don’t you agree
with me?’
Miss Rowly gulped
down her disappointment. She felt that she ought not to say too much, now that
Stephen had set aside her graver fears. She consoled herself with the thought
that even a large amount of money would cause no inconvenience to so wealthy a
woman as Stephen. Beyond this, as she would have the handing over of the money
to Leonard, she would know the amount. If advisable, she could remonstrate. She
could if necessary consult, in confidence, with Harold. Her relief from her
greater fear, and her gladness at this new proof of her niece’s confidence,
were manifested in the extra affection with which she bade her good-night.
Stephen did not
dare to breathe freely till she was quite alone; and as she lay quiet in her
bed in the dark she thought before sleep came.
Her first
feeling was one of thankfulness that immediate danger was swerving from her.
Things were so shaping themselves that she need not have any fear concerning
Leonard. For his own sake he would have to keep silent. If he intended to
blackmail her she would have the protection of her aunt’s knowledge of the
loan, and of her participation in it. The only weapon that remained to him was
her letter; and that she would get from him before furnishing the money for the
payment of his other debts.
These things out
of the way, her thoughts turned to the matter of the greater dread; that of
which all along she had feared to think for a moment: Harold!
Harold! and her treatment of him!
The first
reception of the idea was positive anguish. From the moment he had left her
till now there had been no time when a consideration of the matter was
possible. Time pressed, or circumstances had interfered, or her
own personal condition had forbidden. Now, when she was alone, the whole
awful truth burst on her like an avalanche. Stephen felt the issue of her
thinking before the thinking itself was accomplished; and it was with a
smothered groan that she, in the darkness, held up her arms with fingers linked
in desperate concentration of appeal.
Oh, if she could
only take back one hour of her life, well she knew what that hour would be!
Even that shameful time with Leonard on the hill-top seemed innocuous beside
the degrading remembrance of her conduct to the noble friend of her whole life.
Sadly she turned
over in her bed, and with shut eyes put her burning face on the pillow, to
hide, as it were, from herself her abject depth of shame.
Leonard lounged
through the next morning with what patience he could. At four o’clock he was at
the door of Normanstand in his dogcart. This time he had a groom with him and a
suitcase packed for a night’s use, as he was to go on to London after his interview with Stephen. He
had lost sight altogether of the matter of Stephen’s letter, or else he would
have been more nervous.
He was taken
into the blue drawing-room, where shortly Miss Rowly joined him. He had not
expected this. His mental uneasiness manifested itself in his manner, and his
fidgeting was not unobserved by the astute old lady. He was disconcerted;
‘overwhelmed’ would better have described his feelings when she said:
‘Miss Norman is
sorry she can’t see you to-day as she is making a visit; but she has given me a
message for you, or rather a commission to discharge. Perhaps you had better
sit down at the table; there are writing materials there, and I shall want a
receipt of some sort.’
‘Stephen did not
say anything about a receipt!’ The other smiled sweetly as she said in a calm
way:
‘But
unfortunately Miss Norman is not here; and so I have to do the best I can. I
really must have some proof that I have fulfilled my trust. You see, Mr.
Everard, though it is what lawyers call a “friendly” transaction, it is more or
less a business act; and I must protect myself.’
Leonard saw that
he must comply, for time pressed. He sat down at the table. Taking up a pen and
drawing a sheet of paper towards him, he said with what command of his voice he
could:
‘What am I to
write?’ The old lady took from her basket a folded sheet of notepaper, and,
putting on her reading-glasses, said as she smoothed it out:
‘I think it
would be well to say something like this—“I, Leonard Everard, of Brindehow, in
the Parish of Normanstand, in the County of Norcester, hereby acknowledge the
receipt from Miss Laetitia Rowly of nine hundred pounds sterling lent to me in
accordance with my request, the same being to clear me of a pressing debt due
by me.’
When he had
finished writing the receipt Miss Rowly looked it over, and handing it back to
him, said:
‘Now sign; and date!’ He did so with suppressed anger.
She folded the
document carefully and put it in her pocket. Then taking from the little pouch
which she wore at her belt a roll of notes, she counted out on the table nine
notes of one hundred pounds each. As she put down the last she said:
‘Miss Norman
asked me to say that a hundred pounds is added to the sum you specified to her,
as doubtless the usurers would, since you are actually behind the time promised
for repayment, require something extra as a solatium or to avoid legal
proceedings already undertaken. In fact that they would “put
more salt on your tail.” The expression, I regret to say, is not mine.’
Leonard folded
up the notes, put them into his pocket-book, and walked away. He did not feel
like adding verbal thanks to the document already signed. As he got near the
door the thought struck him; turning back he said:
‘May I ask if
Stephen said anything about getting the document?’
‘I beg your
pardon,’ she said icily, ‘did you speak of any one?’
‘Miss Norman, I
meant!’ Miss Rowly’s answer to this came so smartly that it left an added
sting. Her arrow was fledged with two feathers so that it must shoot true: her
distrust of him and his own impotence.
‘Oh no! Miss Norman knows nothing of this. She simply asked me to give you the
money. This is my own doing entirely. You see, I must exercise my judgment on
my dear niece’s behalf. Of course it may not be necessary to show her the
receipt; but if it should ever be advisable it is always there.’
He looked at her
with anger, not unmixed with admiration, as, bowing rather lower than necessary,
he went out of the door, saying sotto voce, between his teeth:
‘When my turn
comes out you go! Neck and crop! Quick! Normanstand isn’t big enough to hold us
both!’
When Leonard
tendered the eight hundred pounds in payment of his debt of five hundred, Mr.
Cavendish at first refused to take it. But when Leonard calmly but firmly
refused to pay a single penny beyond the obligations already incurred,
including interest on the full sum for one day, he acquiesced. He knew the type
of man fully; and knew also that in all probability it would not be long before
he would come to the Firm again on a borrowing errand. When such time should
come, he would put an extra clause into his Memorandum of Agreement which would
allow the Firm full power to make whatever extra charge they might choose in
case of the slightest default in making payment.
Leonard’s visits
to town had not of late been many, and such as he had had were not accompanied
with a plethora of cash. He now felt that he had earned a holiday; and it was
not till the third morning that he returned to Brindehow. His father made no
comment on his absence; his only allusion to the subject was:
‘Back all right!
Any news in town?’ There was, however, an unwonted
suavity in his manner which made Leonard a little anxious. He busied himself
for the balance of the morning in getting together all his unpaid accounts and
making a schedule of them. The total at first amazed almost as much as it
frightened him. He feared what Stephen would say. She had already commented
unfavourably on the one amount she had seen. When she was face to face with
this she might refuse to pay altogether. It would therefore be wise to
propitiate her. What could he do in this direction? His thoughts naturally turned
to the missing letter. If he could get possession of it, it would either serve
as a sop or a threat. In the one case she would be so glad to have it back that
she would not stick at a few pounds; in the other it would ‘bring her to her
senses’ as he put in his own mind his intention of
blackmail.
He was getting
so tightened up in situation that as yet he could only do as he was told, and
keep his temper as well as he could.
Altogether it
was in a chastened mood that he made his appearance at Normanstand later in the
afternoon. He was evidently expected, for he was shown into the study without a
word. Here Miss Rowly and Stephen joined him. Both were very kind in manner.
After the usual greetings and commonplaces Stephen said in a brisk,
businesslike way:
‘Have you the
papers with you?’ He took the bundle of accounts from his pocket and handed
them to her. After his previous experience he would have suggested, had he
dared, that he should see Stephen alone; but he feared the old lady. He
therefore merely said:
‘I am afraid you
will find the amount very large. But I have put down everything!’
So he had; and
more than everything. At the last an idea struck him that as he was getting so
much he might as well have a little more. He therefore added several good-sized
amounts which he called ‘debts of honour.’ This would, he thought, appeal to
the feminine mind. Stephen did not look at the papers at once. She stood up,
holding them, and said to Miss Rowly:
‘Now, if you
will talk to Mr. Everard I will go over these documents quietly by myself. When
I have been through them and understand them all I shall come back; and we will
see what can be done.’ She moved gracefully out of the room, closing the door
behind her. As is usual with women, she had more than one motive for her action
in going away. In the first place, she wished to be alone whilst she went over
the schedule of the debts. She feared she might get angry; and in the present
state of her mind towards Leonard the expression of any feeling, even contempt,
would not be wise. Her best protection from him would be a manifest kindly
negation of any special interest. In the second place, she believed that he
would have her letter with the other papers, and she did not wish her aunt to
see it, lest she should recognise the writing. In her boudoir, with a beating
heart, she untied the string and looked through the papers.
Her letter was
not among them.
For a few
seconds she stood stock still, thinking. Then, with a sigh, she sat down and
began to read the list of debts, turning to the originals now and again for
details. As she went on, her wonder and disgust grew; and even a sense of fear
came into her thoughts. A man who could be so wildly reckless and so selfishly
unscrupulous was to be feared. She knew his father was a comparatively poor
man, who could not possibly meet such a burden. If he were thus to his father,
what might he be to her if he got a chance.
The thought of
what he might have been to her, had he taken the chance she had given him,
never occurred to her. This possibility had already reached the historical
stage in her mind.
She made a few
pencil notes on the list; and went back to the study. Her mind was made up.
She was quite
businesslike and calm, did not manifest the slightest disapproval, but seemed
to simply accept everything as facts. She asked Leonard a few questions on
subjects regarding which she had made notes, such as discounts. Then she held
the paper out to him and without any preliminary remark said:
‘Will you please
put the names to these?’
‘How do you
mean?’ he asked, flushing.
‘The names of
the persons to whom these sums marked “debt of honour” are due.’ His reply came
quickly, and was a little aggressive; he thought this might be a good time to
make a bluff:
‘I do not see
that that is necessary. I can settle them when I have the money.’ Slowly and
without either pause or flurry Stephen replied, looking him straight in the
eyes as she handed him the papers:
‘Of course it is
not necessary! Few things in the world really are! I only wanted to help you
out of your troubles; but if you do not wish me to . . . !’ Leonard interrupted
in alarm:
‘No! no! I only spoke of these items. You see, being “debts of
honour” I ought not to give the names.’ Looking with a keen glance at her set
face he saw she was obdurate; and, recognising his defeat, said as calmly as he
could, for he felt raging:
‘All right! Give me the paper!’ Bending over the table he wrote. When she took the
paper, a look half surprised, half indignant, passed over her face. Her watchful
aunt saw it, and bending over looked also at the paper. Then she too smiled
bitterly.
Leonard had
printed in the names! The feminine keenness of both women had made his
intention manifest. He did not wish for the possibility of his handwriting
being recognised. His punishment came quickly. With a dazzling smile Stephen
said to him:
‘But, Leonard,
you have forgotten to put the addresses!’
‘Is that
necessary?’
‘Of course it
is! Why, you silly, how is the money to be paid if there are no addresses?’
Leonard felt
like a rat in a trap; but he had no alternative. So irritated was he, and so
anxious to hide his irritation that, forgetting his own caution, he wrote, not
in printing characters but in his own handwriting, addresses evolved from his
own imagination. Stephen’s eyes twinkled as he handed her the paper: he had
given himself away all round.
Leonard having
done all that as yet had been required of him, felt
that he might now ask a further favour, so he said:
‘There is one of
those bills which I have promised to pay by Monday.’
‘Promised?’ said
Stephen with wide-opened eyes. She had no idea of sparing him, she remembered
the printed names. ‘Why, Leonard, I thought you said you were unable to pay any
of those debts?’
Again he had put
himself in a false position. He could not say that it was to his father he had
made the promise; for he had already told Stephen that he had been afraid to
tell him of his debts. In his desperation, for Miss Rowly’s remorseless glasses
were full on him, he said:
‘I thought I was
justified in making the promise after what you said about the pleasure it would
be to help me. You remember, that day on the hilltop?’
If he had wished
to disconcert her he was mistaken; she had already thought over and over again
of every form of embarrassment her unhappy action might bring on her at his
hands. She now said sweetly and calmly, so sweetly and so calmly that he, with
knowledge of her secret, was alarmed:
‘But that was
not a promise to pay. If you will remember it was only an offer, which is a
very different thing. You did not accept it then!’ She was herself somewhat
desperate, or she would not have sailed so close to the wind.
‘Ah, but I
accepted later!’ he said quickly, feeling in his satisfaction in an
epigrammatic answer a certain measure of victory. He felt his mistake when she
went on calmly:
‘Offers like
that are not repeated. They are but phantoms, after all. They come at their own
choice, when they do come; and they stay but the measure of a breath or two.
You cannot summon them!’ Leonard fell into the current of the metaphor and
answered:
‘I don’t know
that even that is impossible. There are spells which call, and recall, even
phantoms!’
‘Indeed!’
Stephen was anxious to find his purpose.
Leonard felt
that he was getting on, that he was again acquiring the upper hand; so he
pushed on the metaphor, more and more satisfied with himself:
‘And it is
wonderful how simple some spells, and these the most
powerful, can be. A remembered phrase, the recollection of a pleasant meeting,
the smell of a forgotten flower, or the sight of a forgotten letter; any or all
of these can, through memory, bring back the past. And it is often in the past
that the secret of the future lies!’
Miss Rowly felt
that something was going on before her which she could not understand. Anything
of this man’s saying which she could not fathom must be at least dangerous; so
she determined to spoil his purpose, whatever it might be.
‘Dear me! That is charmingly poetic! Past and future; memory and the smell of
flowers; meetings and letters! It is quite philosophy. Do explain it all, Mr.
Everard!’ Leonard was not prepared to go on under the circumstances. His own
mention of ‘letter,’ although he had deliberately used it with the intention of
frightening Stephen, had frightened himself. It reminded him that he had not
brought, had not got, the letter; and that as yet he was not certain of getting
the money. Stephen also had noted the word, and determined not to pass the
matter by. She said gaily:
‘If a letter is
a spell, I think you have a spell of mine, which is a spell of my own weaving.
You were to show me the letter in which I asked you to come to see me. It was
in that, I think you said, that I mentioned your debts; but I don’t remember
doing so. Show it to me!’
‘I have not got
it with me!’ This was said with mulish sullenness.
‘Why not?’
‘I forgot.’
‘That is a pity!
It is always a pity to forget things in a business transaction; as this is. I
think, Auntie, we must wait till we have all the documents, before we can
complete this transaction!’
Leonard was
seriously alarmed. If the matter of the loan were not gone on with at once the
jeweller’s bill could not be paid by Monday, and the result would be another
scene with his father. He turned to Stephen and said as charmingly as he could,
and he was all in earnest now:
‘I’m awfully
sorry! But these debts have been so worrying me that they put lots of things
out of my head. That bill to be paid on Monday, when I haven’t a feather to fly
with, is enough to drive a fellow off his chump. The moment I lay my hands on
the letter I shall keep it with me so that I can’t forget it again. Won’t you
forgive me for this time?’
‘Forgive!’ she
answered, with a laugh. ‘Why it’s not worth forgiveness! It is not worth a
second thought! All right! Leonard, make your mind easy; the bill will be paid
on Monday!’ Miss Rowly said quietly:
‘I have to be in
London on
Monday afternoon; I can pay it for you.’ This was a shock to Leonard; he said
impulsively:
‘Oh, I say!
Can’t I . . . ’ His words faded away as the old lady
again raised her lorgnon and gazed at him calmly. She went on:
‘You know, my
dear, it won’t be even out of my way, as I have to call at Mr. Malpas’s office,
and I can go there from the hotel in Regent Street.’ This was all news to
Stephen. She did not know that her aunt had intended going to London;
and indeed she did not know of any business with Mr. Malpas, whose firm had
been London
solicitor to the Rowlys for several generations. She had no doubt, however, as
to the old lady’s intention. It was plain to her that she wanted to help. So
she thanked her sweetly. Leonard could say nothing. He seemed to be left
completely out of it. When Stephen rose, as a hint to him that it was time for
him to go, he said humbly, as he left:
‘Would it be possible
that I should have the receipt before Monday evening? I want to show it to my
father.’
‘Certainly!’
said the old lady, answering him. ‘I shall be back by the two o’clock train;
and if you happen to be at the railway station at Norcester when I arrive I can
give it to you!’
He went away
relieved, but vindictive; determined in his own mind that when he had received
the money for the rest of the debts he would see Stephen, when the old lady was
not present, and have it out with her.
On Monday
evening after dinner Mr. Everard and his son sat for a while in silence. They
had not met since morning; and in the presence of the servants conversation had
been scrupulously polite. Now, though they were both waiting
to talk, neither liked to begin. The older man was outwardly placid,
when Leonard, a little flushed and a little nervous of voice, began:
‘Have you had
any more bills?’ He had expected none, and thus hoped to begin by scoring
against his father. It was something of a set-down when the latter, taking some
papers from his breast-pocket, handed them to him, saying:
‘Only these!’ Leonard took them in silence and looked at them. All were requests for
payment of debts due by his son.
In each case the
full bill was enclosed. He was silent a while; but his father spoke:
‘It would almost
seem as if all these people had made up their minds that you were of no further
use to them.’ Then without pausing he said, but in a sharper voice:
‘Have you paid
the jewellers? This is Monday!’ Without speaking Leonard took leisurely from
his pocket folded paper. This he opened, and, after deliberately smoothing out
the folds, handed it to his father. Doubtless something in his manner had
already convinced the latter that the debt was paid. He took the paper in as
leisurely a way as it had been given, adjusted his spectacles, and read it.
Seeing that his son had scored this time, he covered his chagrin with an
appearance of paternal satisfaction.
‘Good!’ For many
reasons he was glad the debt was paid He was himself too poor a man to allow
the constant drain his son’s debts, and too careful of his position to be
willing have such exposure as would come with a County Court action against his
son. All the same, his exasperation continued. Neither was his quiver yet
empty. He shot his next arrow:
‘I am glad you
paid off those usurers!’ Leonard did not like the definite way he spoke. Still
in silence, he took from his pocket a second paper, which he handed over
unfolded. Mr. Everard read it, and returned it politely, with again one word:
‘Good!’ For a
few minutes there was silence. The father spoke again:
‘Those other
debts, have you paid them?’ With a calm deliberation so full of tacit rudeness
that it made his father flush Leonard answered:
‘Not yet, sir! But I shall think of them presently. I don’t care to be bustled by them;
and I don’t mean to!’ It was apparent that though he spoke verbally of his
creditors, his meaning was with regard to others also.
‘When will they
be paid?’ As his son hesitated, he went on:
‘I am alluding
to those who have written to me. I take it that as my estate is not entailed,
and as you have no income except from me, the credit which has been extended to
you has been rather on my account than your own. Therefore, as the matter
touches my own name, I am entitled to know something of what is going on.’ His
manner as well as his words was so threatening that Leonard was a little
afraid. He might imperil his inheritance. He answered quickly:
‘Of course, sir,
you shall know everything. After all, you know, my affairs are your affairs!’
‘I know nothing
of the sort. I may of course be annoyed by your affairs, even dishonoured, in a
way, by them. But I accept no responsibility whatever. As you have made your
bed, so must you lie on it!’
‘It’s all right,
sir, I assure you. All my debts, both those you know of and some you don’t, I
shall settle very shortly.’
‘How soon?’ The question was sternly put.
‘In a few days. I dare say a week at furthest will see everything straightened out.’
The elder man stood,
saying gravely as he went to the door:
‘You will do
well to tell me when the last of them is paid. There is something which I shall
then want to tell you!’ Without waiting for reply he went to his study.
Leonard went to
his room and made a systematic, though unavailing, search for Stephen’s letter;
thinking that by some chance he might have recovered it from Harold and had
overlooked it.
The next few
days he passed in considerable suspense. He did not dare go near Normanstand
until he was summoned, as he knew he would be when he was required.
* * * * *
When Miss Rowly
returned from her visit to London
she told Stephen that she had paid the bill at the jeweller’s, and had taken
the precaution of getting a receipt, together with a duplicate for Mr. Everard.
The original was by her own request made out as received from Miss Laetitia
Rowly in settlement of the account of Leonard Everard, Esq.; the duplicate
merely was ‘recd. in settlement of the account of—,’ etc. Stephen’s brows bent
hit thought as she said:
‘Why did you
have it done that way, Auntie dear?’ The other answered quietly:
‘I had a reason,
my dear; good reason! Perhaps I shall tell you all about it some day; in the
meantime I want you not to ask me anything about it. I have a reason for that
too. Stephen, won’t you trust me in this, blindfold?’ There was something so
sweet and loving in the way she made the request that Stephen was filled with
emotion. She put her arms round her aunt’s neck and hugged her tight. Then
laying her head on her bosom she said with a sigh:
‘Oh, my dear,
you can’t know how I trust you; or how much your trust is to me. You never can
know!’
The next day the
two women held a long consultation over the schedule of Leonard’s debts.
Neither said a word of disfavour, or even commented on the magnitude. The only
remark touching on the subject was made by Miss Rowly:
‘We must ask for
proper discounts. Oh, the villainy of those tradesmen! I do believe they charge
double in the hope of getting half. As to jewellers . . . !’ Then she announced
her intention of going up to town again on Thursday, at which visit she would
arrange for the payment of the various debts. Stephen tried to remonstrate, but
she was obdurate. She held Stephen’s hand in hers and stroked it lovingly as
she kept on repeating:
‘Leave it all to
me, dear! Leave it all to me! Everything shall be paid as you wish; but leave
it to me!’
Stephen
acquiesced. This gentle yielding was new in her; it touched the elder lady to
the quick, even whilst it pained her. Well she knew that some trouble must have
gone to the smoothing of that imperious nature.
Stephen’s inner
life in these last few days was so bitterly sad that she kept it apart from all
the routine of social existence. Into it never came now, except as the exciting
cause of all the evil, a thought of Leonard. The saddening memory was of
Harold. And of him the sadness was increased and multiplied by a haunting fear.
Since he had walked out of the grove she had not seen him nor heard from him.
This was in itself strange; for in all her life, when she was at home and he
too, never a day passed without her seeing him. She had heard her aunt say that
word had come of his having made a sudden journey to London, from which he had not yet returned.
She was afraid to make inquiries. Partly lest she might hear bad news—this was
her secret fear; partly lest she might bring some attention to herself in
connection with his going. Of some things in connection with her conduct to him
she was afraid to think at all. Thought, she felt, would come in time, and with
it new pains and new shames, of which as yet she dared not think.
One morning came
an envelope directed in Harold’s hand. The sight made her almost faint. She
rejoiced that she had been first down, and had opened the postbag with her own
key. She took the letter to her room and shut herself in before opening it.
Within were a few lines of writing and her own letter
to Leonard in its envelope. Her head beat so hard that she could scarcely see;
but gradually the writing seemed to grow out of the mist:
‘The enclosed
should be in your hands. It is possible that it may comfort you to know that it
is safe. Whatever may come, God love and guard you.’
For a moment
joy, hot and strong, blazed through her. The last words were ringing through
her brain. Then came the cold shock, and the gloom of
fear. Harold would never have written thus unless he was going away! It was a
farewell!
For a long time
she stood, motionless, holding the letter in her hand. Then she said, half
aloud:
‘Comfort! Comfort! There is no more comfort in the world for me! Never, never
again! Oh, Harold! Harold!’
She sank on her
knees beside her bed, and buried her face in her cold hands, sobbing in all
that saddest and bitterest phase of sorrow which can be to a woman’s heart: the
sorrow that is dry-eyed and without hope.
Presently the
habit of caution which had governed her last days woke her to action. She
bathed her eyes, smoothed her hair, locked the letter and its enclosure in the
little jewel-safe let into the wall, and came down to breakfast.
The sense of
loss was so strong on her that she forgot herself. Habit carried her on without
will or voluntary effort, and, so faithfully worked to her good that even the
loving eyes of her aunt—and the eyes of love are keen—had no suspicion that any
new event had come into her life.
Not till she was
alone in her room that night did Stephen dare to let her thoughts run freely.
In the darkness her mind began to work truly, so truly that she began at the
first step of logical process: to study facts. And to study them she must
question till she found motive.
Why had Harold
sent her the letter? His own words said that it should
be in her hands. Then, again, he said it might comfort her to know the letter
was safe. How could it comfort her? How did he get possession of the letter?
There she began
to understand; her quick intuition and her old knowledge of Harold’s character
and her new knowledge of Leonard’s, helped her to reconstruct causes. In his
interview with her he had admitted that Leonard had told him much, all. He
would no doubt have refused to believe him, and Leonard would have shown him,
as proof, her letter asking him to meet her. He would have seen then, as she
did now, how much the possession of that letter might mean to any one.
Good God! to ‘any one.’ Could it have been so to Harold himself . . . that he thought to use it as an engine, to
force her to meet his wishes—as Leonard had already tried to do! The mistrust,
founded on her fear, was not dead yet . . . No! no! no! Her whole being resented such a monstrous proposition!
Besides, there was proof. Thank God! there was proof.
A blackmailer would have stayed close to her, and would have kept the letter;
Harold did neither. Her recognition of the truth was shown in her act, when,
stretching out her arms in the darkness, she whispered pleadingly:
‘Forgive me,
Harold!’
And Harold, far
away where the setting sun was lying red on the rim of the western sea, could
not hear her. But perhaps God did.
As, then,
Harold’s motive was not of the basest, it must have been of the noblest. What
would be a man’s noblest motive under such circumstances? Surely
self-sacrifice!
And yet there
could be no doubt as to Harold’s earnestness when he had told her that he loved
her . . .
Here Stephen covered
her face in one moment of rapture. But the gloom that followed was darker than
the night. She did not pursue the thought. That would come later when she
should understand.
And yet, so
little do we poor mortals know the verities of things, so blind are we to
things thrust before our eyes, that she understood more in that moment of
ecstasy than in all the reasoning that preceded and followed it. But the
reasoning went on:
If he really
loved, and told her so, wherein was the self-sacrifice? She had reproached him
with coming to her with his suit hotfoot upon his knowledge of her shameful
proffer of herself to another man; of her refusal by him. Could he have been so
blind as not to have seen, as she did, the shameful aspect of his impulsive
act? Surely, if he had thought, he must have seen! . . . And he must have
thought; there had been time for it. It was at dinner that he had seen Leonard;
it was after breakfast when he had seen her . . . And if he had seen then . . .
In an instant it
all burst upon her; the whole splendid truth. He had held back the expression
of his long love for her, waiting for the time when her maturity might enable
her to understand truly and judge wisely; waiting till her grief for the loss
of her father had become a story of the past; waiting for God knows what a
man’s mind sees of obstacles when he loves. But he had spoken it out when it
was to her benefit. What, then, had been his idea of her benefit? Was it that
he wished to meet the desire that she had manifested to have some man to—to
love? . . . The way she covered her face with her hands whilst she groaned
aloud made her answer to her own query a perfect negative.
Was it, then, to
save her from the evil of marrying Leonard in case he should repent of his
harshness, and later on yield himself to her wooing? The fierce movement of her
whole body, which almost threw the clothes from her bed, as the shameful
recollection rolled over her, marked the measure of her self-disdain.
One other
alternative there was; but it seemed so remote, so far-fetched, so noble, so
unlike what a woman would do, that she could only regard it in a shamefaced
way. She put the matter to herself questioningly, and with a meekness which had
its roots deeper than she knew. And here out of the depths of her humility came
a noble thought. A noble thought, which was a noble truth.
Through the darkness of the night, through the inky gloom of her own soul came
with that thought a ray of truth which, whilst it showed her her own shrivelled
unworthiness, made the man whom she had dishonoured with insults worse than
death stand out in noble relief. In that instant she guessed at, and realised,
Harold’s unselfish nobility of purpose, the supreme effort of his constant
love. Knowing the humiliation she must have suffered at Leonard’s hands, he had
so placed himself that even her rejection of him might be some solace to her
wounded spirit, her pride.
Here at last was
truth! She knew it in the very marrow of her bones.
This time she
did not move. She thought and thought of that noble gentleman who had used for
her sake even that pent-up passion which, for her sake also, he had suppressed
so long.
In that light,
which restored in her eyes and justified so fully the man whom she had always
trusted, her own shame and wrongdoing, and the perils which surrounded her,
were for the time forgotten.
And its glory
seemed to rest upon her whilst she slept.
Miss Rowly had
received a bulky letter by the morning’s post. She had not opened it, but had
allowed it to rest beside her plate all breakfast-time. Then she had taken it
away with her to her own sitting-room. Stephen did not appear to take any
notice of it. She knew quite well that it was from some one in London whom her aunt had asked to pay
Leonard’s bills. She also knew that the old lady had some purpose in her
reticence, so she waited. She was learning to be patient in these days. Miss
Rowly did say anything about it that day, or the next, or the next. The
third-morning, she received another letter which she had read in an
enlightening manner. She began its perusal with set brow frowning, then she nodded her head and smiled. She put the letter back
in its envelope and placed it in the little bag always carried. But she said
nothing. Stephen wondered, but waited.
That night, when
Stephen’s maid had left her, there came a gentle tap at her door, and an
instant after the door opened. The tap had been a warning, not a request; it
had in a measure prepared Stephen, who was not surprised to see her Aunt in
dressing-gown, though it was many a long day since she had visited her niece’s
room at night. She closed the door behind her, saying:
‘There is
something I want to talk to you about, dearest, and I thought it would be
better to do so when there could not be any possible interruption. And
besides,’ here there was a little break in her voice, ‘I could hardly summon up
my courage in the daylight.’ She stopped, and the stopping told its own story.
In an instant Stephen’s arm’s were round her, all the
protective instinct in her awake, at the distress of the woman she loved. The
old lady took comfort from the warmth of the embrace, and held her tight whilst
she went on:
‘It is about
these bills, my dear. Come and sit down and put a candle near me. I want you to
read something.’
‘Go on, Auntie
dear,’ she said gravely. The old lady, after a pause, spoke with a certain timidity:
‘They are all
paid; at least all that can be. Perhaps I had better read you the letter I have
had from my solicitors:
‘“Dear Madam,—In
accordance with your instructions we have paid all the accounts mentioned in
Schedule A (enclosed). We have placed for your convenience three columns: (1)
the original amount of each account, (2) the amount of discount we were able to
arrange, and (3) the amount paid. We regret that we have been unable to carry
out your wishes with regard to the items enumerated in Schedule B (enclosed).
We have, we assure you, done all in our power to find the gentlemen whose names
and addresses are therein given. These were marked ‘Debt of honour’ in the list
you handed to us. Not having been able to obtain any reply to our letters, we
sent one of our clerks first to the addresses in London,
and afterwards to Oxford.
That clerk, who is well used to such inquiries, could not find trace of any of
the gentlemen, or indeed of their existence. We have, therefore, come to the
conclusion that, either there must be some error with regard to (a) names, (b)
addresses, or (c) both; or that no such persons exist. As it would be very
unlikely that such errors could occur in all the cases, we can only conclude
that there have not been any such persons. If we may hazard an opinion: it is
possible that, these debts being what young men call ‘debts of honour,’ the
debtor, or possibly the creditors, may not have wished the names mentioned. In
such case fictitious names and addresses may have been substituted for the real
ones. If you should like any further inquiry instituted we would suggest that
you ascertain the exact names and addresses from the debtor. Or should you
prefer it we would see the gentleman on your behalf, on learning from you his
name and address. We can keep, in the person of either one of the Firm or a
Confidential Clerk as you might prefer, any appointment in such behalf you may
care to make.
‘“We have
already sent to you the receipted account from each of the creditors as you
directed, viz. ‘Received from Miss Laetitia Rowly in full settlement to date of
the account due by Mr. Leonard Everard the sum of,’ etc. etc. And also, as you
further directed, a duplicate receipt of the sum-total due in each case made
out as ‘Received in full settlement to date of account due by,’ etc. etc. The
duplicate receipt was pinned at the back of each account so as to be easily
detachable.
‘“With regard to
finance we have carried out your orders, etc.”’ She hurried on the reading.
“These sums, together with the amounts of nine hundred pounds sterling, and
seven hundred pounds sterling lodged to the account of Miss Stephen Norman in
the Norcester branch of the Bank as repayment of moneys advanced to you as by
your written instructions, have exhausted the sum, etc.”’ She folded up the
letter with the schedules, laying the bundle of accounts on the table. Stephen
paused; she felt it necessary to collect herself before speaking.
‘Auntie dear,
will you let me see that letter? Oh, my dear, dear Auntie, don’t think I
mistrust you that I ask it. I do because I love you, and because I want to love
you more if it is possible to do so.’ Miss Rowly handed her the letter. She
rose from the arm of the chair and stood beside the table as though to get
better light from the candle than she could get from where she had sat.
She read slowly
and carefully to the end; then folded up the letter and handed it to her aunt.
She came back to her seat on the edge of the chair, and putting her arms round
her companion’s neck looked her straight in the eyes. The elder woman grew
embarrassed under the scrutiny; she coloured up and smiled in a deprecatory way
as she said:
‘Don’t look at
me like that, darling; and don’t shake your head so. It is all right! I told
you I had my reasons, and you said you would trust me. I have only done what I
thought best!’
‘But, Auntie,
you have paid away more than half your little fortune. I know all the figures.
Father and uncle told me everything. Why did you do it? Why did you do it?’ The
old woman held out her arms as she said:
‘Come here, dear
one, and sit on my knee as you used to when you were a child, and I will
whisper you.’ Stephen sprang from her seat and almost threw herself
into the loving arms. For a few seconds the two, clasped tight to each other’s
heart, rocked gently to and fro. The elder kissed the younger and was kissed
impulsively in return. Then she stroked the beautiful bright hair with her
wrinkled hand, and said admiringly:
‘What lovely
hair you have, my dear one!’ Stephen held her closer and waited.
‘Well, my dear,
I did it because I love you!’
‘I know that,
Auntie; you have never done anything else my life!’
‘That is true,
dear one. But it is right that I should do this. Now you must listen to me, and
not speak till I have done. Keep your thoughts on my words, so that you may
follow my thoughts. You can do your own thinking about them afterwards. And
your own talking too; I shall listen as long as you like!’
‘Go on, I’ll be
good!’
‘My dear, it is
not right that you should appear to have paid the debts of a young man who is
no relation to you and who will, I know well, never be any closer to you than
he is now.’ She hurried on, as though fearing an interruption, but Stephen felt
that her clasp tightened. ‘We never can tell what will happen as life goes on. And, as the world is full of scandal, one cannot be
too careful not to give the scandalmongers anything to exercise their wicked
spite upon. I don’t trust that young man! he is a bad
one all round, or I am very much mistaken. And, my dear, come close to me! I
cannot but see that you and he have some secret which he is using to distress
you!’ She paused, and her clasp grew closer still as Stephen’s head sank on her
breast. ‘I know you have done something or said something foolish of which he
has a knowledge. And I know my dear one,
that whatever it was, and no matter how foolish it may have been, it was
not a wrong thing. God knows, we are all apt to do wrong things as well as
foolish ones; the best of us. But such is not for you! Your race, your father
and mother, your upbringing, yourself and the truth and purity which are yours
would save you from anything which was in itself wrong. That I know, my dear,
as well as I know myself! Ah! better, far better! for the gods did not think it well to dower me as they have
dowered you. The God of all the gods has given you the ten talents to guard;
and He knows, as I do, that you will be faithful to your
trust.’
There was a
solemn ring in her voce as the words were spoken which went through the young
girl’s heart. Love and confidence demanded in return that she should have at
least the relief of certain acquiescence; there is a possible note of pain in
the tensity of every string! Stephen lifted her head proudly and honestly,
though her cheeks were scarlet, saying with a consciousness of integrity which
spoke directly soul to soul:
‘You are right,
dear! I have done something very foolish; very, very foolish! But it was
nothing which any one could call wrong. Do not ask me what it was. I need only
tell you this: that it was an outrage on convention. It was so foolish, and
based on such foolish misconception; it sprang from such over-weening, arrogant
self-opinion that it deserves the bitter punishment which will come; which is
coming; which is with me now! It was the cause of something whose blackness I
can’t yet realise; but of which I will tell you when I can speak of it. But it
was not wrong in itself, or in the eyes of God or man!’ The old woman said not
a word. No word was needed, for had she not already expressed her belief? But
Stephen felt her relief in the glad pressure of her finger-tips. In a voice
less strained and tense Miss Rowly went on:
‘What need have
I for money, dear? Here I have all that any woman, especially at my age, can
need. There is no room even for charity; you are so good to all your people
that my help is hardly required. And, my dear one, I know—I know,’ she
emphasised the word as she stroked the beautiful hair, ‘that when I am gone my
own poor, the few that I have looked after all my life, will, not suffer when
my darling thinks of me!’ Stephen fairly climbed upon her as she said, looking
in the brave old eyes:
‘So help me God,
my darling, they shall never want!’
Silence for a
time; and then Miss Rowly’s voice again:
‘Though it would
not do for the world to know that a young maiden lady had paid the debts of a
vicious young man, it makes no matter if they be paid by an old woman, be the
same maid, wife, or widow! And really, my dear, I do not see how any money I
might have could be better spent than in keeping harm away from you.’
‘There need not
be any harm at all, Auntie.’
‘Perhaps not, dear! I hope not with all my heart. But I fear that young
man. Just fancy him threatening you, and in your own house; in my very
presence! Oh! yes, my dear. He meant to threaten,
anyhow! Though I could not exactly understand what he was driving at, I could
see that he was driving at something. And after all that you were doing for
him, and had done for him! I mean, of course, after all that I had done for
him, and was doing for him. It is mean enough, surely, for a man to beg, and
from a woman; but to threaten afterwards. Ach! But I think, my dear, it is
checkmate to him this time. All along the line the only proof that is of there
being any friendliness towards him from this house points to me. And moreover,
my dear, I have a little plan in my head that will tend to show him up even
better, in case he may ever try to annoy us. Look at me when next he is here. I
mean to do a little play-acting which will astonish him, I can tell you, if it
doesn’t frighten him out of the house altogether. But we won’t talk of that
yet. You will understand when you see it!’ Her eyes twinkled and her mouth shut
with a loud snap as she spoke.
After a few
minutes of repose, which was like a glimpse of heaven to Stephen’s aching
heart, she spoke again:
‘There was
something else that troubled you more than even this. You said you would tell
me when you were able to speak of it . . . Why not speak now? Oh! my dear, our
hearts are close together to-night; and in all your life, you will never have
any one who will listen with greater sympathy than I will, or deal more tenderly
with your fault, whatever it may have been. Tell me, dear! Dear!’ she whispered
after a pause, during which she realised the depth of the girl’s emotion by her
convulsive struggling to keep herself in check.
All at once the
tortured girl seemed to yield herself, and slipped inertly from her grasp till
kneeling down she laid her head in the motherly lap and sobbed. Miss Rowly kept
stroking her hair in silence. Presently the girl looked up, and with a pang the
aunt saw that her eyes were dry. In her pain she said:
‘You sob like
that, my child, and yet you are not crying; what is it, oh! my
dear one? What is it that hurts you so that you cannot cry?’
And then the
bitter sobbing broke out again, but still alas! without
tears. Crouching low, and still enclosing her aunt’s waist with her
outstretched arms and hiding her head in her breast; she said:
‘Oh! Auntie, I
have sent Harold away!’
‘What, my dear?
What?’ said the old lady astonished. ‘Why, I thought there was no one in the
world that you trusted so much as Harold!’
‘It is true.
There was—there is no one except you whom I trust so much. But I mistook
something he said. I was in a blind fury at the time, and I said things that I
thought my father’s daughter never could have said. And she never thought them,
even then! Oh, Auntie, I drove him away with all the horrible things I could
say that would wound him. And all because he acted in a way that I see now was
the most noble and knightly in which any man could act. He
that my dear father had loved, and honoured, and trusted as another son.
He that was a real son to him, and not a mock sop like me.
I sent him away with such fierce and bitter pain that his poor face was ashen
grey, and there was woe in his eyes that shall make woe in mine whenever I
shall see them in my mind, waking or sleeping. He, the truest friend . . . the
most faithful, the most tender, the most strong, the
most unselfish! Oh! Auntie, Auntie, he just turned and bowed and went away. And
he couldn’t do anything else with the way I spoke to him; and now I shall never
see him again!’
The young girl’s
eyes ware still dry, but the old woman’s were wet. For a few minutes she kept
softly stroking the bowed heat till the sobbing grew less and less, and then
died away; and the girl lay still, collapsed in the abandonment of dry-eyed
grief.
Then she rose,
and taking off her dressing-gown, said tenderly:
‘Let me stay
with you to-night, dear one? Go to sleep in my arms, as you did long ago when
there was any grief that you could not bear.’
So Stephen lay
in those loving arms till her own young breast ceased heaving, and she breathed
softly. Till dawn she slept on the bosom of her who loved her so well.
Leonard was
getting tired of waiting when he received his summons to Normanstand. But
despite his impatience he was ill pleased with the summons, which came in the
shape of a polite note from Miss Rowly asking him to come that afternoon at
tea-time. He had expected to hear from Stephen.
‘Damn that old
woman! You’d think she was working the whole show!’ However, he turned up at a
little before five o’clock, spruce and dapper and well dressed and groomed as
usual. He was shown, as before, into the blue drawing-room. Miss Rowly, who sat
there, rose as he entered, and coming across the room, greeted him, as he
thought, effusively. He actually winced when she called him ‘my dear boy’
before the butler.
She ordered tea
to be served at once, and when it had been brought she said to the butler:
‘Tell Mannerly
to bring me a large thick envelope which is on the table in my room. It is
marked L.E. on the outside.’ Presently an elderly maid handed her the envelope
and withdrew. When tea was over she opened the envelope, and taking from it a
number of folios, looked over them carefully; holding them in her lap, she said
quietly:
‘You will find
writing materials on the table. I am all ready now to hand you over the
receipts.’ His eyes glistened. This was good news at all events; the debts were
paid. In a rapid flash of thought he came to the conclusion that if the debts
were actually paid he need not be civil to the old lady. He felt that he could
have been rude to her if he had actual possession of the receipts. As it was,
however, he could not yet afford to have any unpleasantness. There was still to
come that lowering interview with his father; and he
could not look towards it satisfactorily until he had the assurance of the
actual documents that he was safe. Miss Rowly was, in her own way, reading his
mind in his face. Her lorgnon seemed to follow his every expression like a
searchlight. He remembered his former interview with her, and how he had been
bested in it; so he made up his mind to acquiesce in time. He went over to the
table and sat down. Taking a pen he turned to Miss Rowly and said:
‘What shall I
write?’ She answered calmly:
‘Date it, and
then say, “Received from Miss Laetitia Rowly the receipts for the following
amounts from the various firms hereunder enumerated.”’ She then proceeded to
read them, he writing and repeating as he wrote. Then she added:
‘“The same being the total amount of my debts which she has kindly paid
for me.”’ He paused here; she asked.
‘Why don’t you
go on?’
‘I thought it
was Stephen—Miss Norman,’ he corrected, catching sight of her lorgnon, ‘who was
paying them.’
‘Good Lord,
man,’ she answered, ‘what does it matter who has paid them, so long as they are
paid?’
‘But I didn’t
ask you to pay them,’ he went on obstinately. There was a pause, and then the
old lady, with a distinctly sarcastic smile, said:
‘It seems to me,
young man, that you are rather particular as to how
things are done for you. If you had begun to be just a little bit as particular
in making the debts as you are in the way of having them paid, there would be a
little less trouble and expense all round. However, the debts have been paid,
and we can’t unpay them. But of course you can repay me the money if you like.
It amounts in all to four thousand three hundred and seventeen pounds, twelve
shillings and sixpence, and I have paid every penny of it out of my own pocket.
If you can’t pay it yourself, perhaps your father would like to do so.’
The last shot
told; he went on writing: ‘“Kindly paid for me,”’ she continued in the same
even voice:
‘“In remembrance of my mother, of whom she was an acquaintance.” Now sign it!’ He did so
and handed it to her. She read it over carefully, folded it, and put it in her
pocket. She then stood. He rose also; and as he moved to the door—he had not
offered to shake hands with her—he said:
‘I should like
to see, Miss Norman.’
‘I am afraid you
will have to wait.’
‘Why?’
‘She is over at
Heply Regis. She went there for Lady Heply’s ball, and will remain for a few
days. Good afternoon!’ The tone in which the last two words were spoken seemed
in his ears like the crow of the victor after a cock-fight.
As he was going
out of the room a thought struck her. She felt he deserved some punishment for
his personal rudeness to her. After all, she had paid half her fortune for him,
though not on his account; and not only had he given no thanks, but had not
even offered the usual courtesy of saying good-bye. She had intended to have
been silent on the subject, and to have allowed him to discover it later. Now
she said, as if it was an after-thought:
‘By the way, I
did not pay those items you put down as “debts of honour”; you remember you
gave the actual names and addresses.’
‘Why not?’ the question came from him involuntarily. The persecuting lorgnon
rose again:
‘Because they were all bogus! Addresses, names, debts, honour! Good afternoon!’
He went out
flaming; free from debt, money debts; all but one. And some
other debts—not financial—whose magnitude was exemplified in the grinding of
his teeth.
After breakfast
next morning he said to his father:
‘By the way, you
said you wished to speak to me, sir.’ There was something in the tone of his
voice which called up antagonism.
‘Then you have
paid your debts?’
‘All!’
‘Good! Now there
is something which it is necessary I should call your attention to. Do you
remember the day on which I handed you that pleasing epistle from Messrs.
Cavendish and Cecil?’
‘Certainly, sir.’
‘Didn’t you send
a telegram to them?’
‘I did.’
‘You wrote it
yourself?’
‘Certainly.’
‘I had a
courteous letter from the money-lenders, thanking me for my exertions in
securing the settlement of their claim, and saying that in accordance with the
request in my telegram they had held over proceedings until the day named. I
did not quite remember having sent any telegram to them,
or any letter either. So, being at a loss, I went to our excellent postmaster
and requested that he would verify the sending of a telegram to London from me. He
courteously looked up the file; which was ready for transference to the G.P.O.,
and showed me the form. It was in your handwriting.’ He paused so long that
Leonard presently said:
‘Well!’
‘It was signed
Jasper Everard. Jasper Everard! my name; and yet it
was sent by my son, who was christened, if I remember rightly, Leonard!’ Then
he went on, only in a cold acrid manner which made his son feel as though a
February wind was blowing on his back:
‘I think there
need not have been much trouble in learning to avoid confusing our names. They
are really dissimilar. Have you any explanation to offer of the—the error, let
us call it?’ A bright thought struck Leonard.
‘Why, sir,’ he
said, ‘I put it in your name as they had written to you. I thought it only
courteous.’ The elder man winced; he had not expected the excuse. We went on
speaking in the same calm way, but his tone was more acrid than before:
‘Good! of course! It was only courteous of you! Quite so! But I
think it will be well in the future to let me look after my own courtesy; as
regards my signature at any rate. You see, my dear boy, a signature is queer
sort of thing, and judges and juries are apt to take a poor view of courtesy as
over against the conventions regarding a man, writing his own name. What I want
to tell you is this, that on seeing that signature I made a new will. You see,
my estate is not entailed, and therefore I think it only right to see that in
such a final matter justice is done all round. I therefore made a certain
provision of which I am sure you will approve. Indeed, since I am assured of
the payment of your debts, I feel justified in my action. I may say, inter
alia, that I congratulate you on either the extent of your resources or the
excellence of your friendships, or both. I confess that the amounts brought to
my notice were rather large; more especially in proportion to the value of the
estate which you are some day to inherit. For you are of
course to inherit some day, my dear boy. You are my only son, and it
would be hardly—hardly courteous of me not to leave it to you. But I have put a
clause in my will to the effect that the trustee’s are to pay all debts of your
accruing which can be proved against you, before handing over to you either the
estate itself or the remainder after its sale and the settlement of all claims.
That’s all. Now run away, my boy; I have some important work to do.’
* * * * *
The day after
her return from Heply Regis, Stephen was walking in the wood when she thought
she heard a slight rustling of leaves some way behind her. She looked round,
expecting to see some one; but the leafy path was quite clear. Her suspicion
was confirmed; some one was secretly following her. A short process of
exclusions pointed to the personality of the some one. Tramps and poachers were
unknown in Normanstand, and there was no one else whom she could think of who
had any motive in following her in such a way; it must be Leonard Everard. She
turned and walked rapidly in the opposite direction. As this would bring her to
the house Leonard had to declare his presence at once or else lose the
opportunity of a private interview which he sought. When she saw him she said
at once and without any salutation:
‘What are you
doing there; why are you following me?’
‘I wanted to see
you alone. I could not get near you on account of that infernal old woman.’
Stephen’s face grew hard.
‘On account of
whom?’ she asked with dangerous politeness.
‘Miss Rowly; your aunt.’
‘Don’t you
think, Mr. Everard,’ she said icily, ‘that it is at least an unpardonable
rudeness to speak that way, and to me, of the woman I love best in all the
world?’
‘Sorry!’ he said
in the offhand way of younger days, ‘I apologise. Fact is,
I was angry that she wouldn’t let me see you.’
‘Not let you see
me!’ she said as if amazed. ‘What do mean?’
‘Why, I haven’t
been able to see you alone ever since I went to meet you on Caester Hill.’
‘But why should
you see me alone?’ she asked as if still in amazement. ‘Surely you can say
anything you have to say before my aunt.’ With an unwisdom for which an instant
later he blamed himself he blurted out:
‘Why, old girl,
you yourself did not think her presence necessary when you asked me to meet you
on the hill.’
‘When was that?’
She saw that he was angry and wanted to test him; to try how far he would
venture. He was getting dangerous; she must know the measure of what she had to
fear.
He fell into the
trap at once. His debts being paid, fear was removed, and all the hectoring
side of the man was aroused. His antagonist was a woman; and he had already had
in his life so many unpleasant scenes with women that this was no new
experience. This woman had, by her own indiscretion, put a whip into his hand;
and, if necessary to secure his own way, by God! he
meant to use it! These last days had made her a more desirable possession in
his eyes. The vastness of her estate had taken hold on him, and his father’s
remorseless intention with regard to his will would either keep him with very
limited funds, or leave him eventually a pauper if he forestalled his
inheritance. The desire of her wealth had grown daily, and it was now the main
force in bringing him here to-day. And to this was now added the personal
desire which her presence evoked. Stephen, at all times beautiful, had never
looked more lovely. In the days since she had met him
on the hilltop, a time that to her seemed so long ago, she had grown to be a woman, and there is some subtle inconceivable charm in
completed womanhood. The reaction from her terrible fear and depression had
come, and her strong brilliant youth was manifesting itself. Her step was
springy and her eyes were bright; and the glow of fine health, accentuated by
the militant humour of the present moment, seemed to light up her beautiful
skin. In herself she was desirable, very desirable; Leonard felt his pulses
quicken and his blood leap as he looked at her. Even his prejudice against her
red hair had changed to something like hungry admiration. Leonard felt for the
first moment since he had known her that she was a woman; and that, with
relation to her, he was a man.
And at the
moment all the man in him asserted itself. It was with half love, as he saw it,
and half self-assertion that he answered her question:
‘The day you asked me to marry you! Oh! what a fool I
was not to leap at such a chance! I should have taken you in my arms then and
kissed you till I showed you how much I loved you. But that will all come yet;
the kissing is still to come! Oh! Stephen, don’t you see that I love you? Won’t
you tell me that you love me still? Darling!’ He
almost sprang at her, his arms extended to clasp her.
‘Stop!’ Her voice rang like a trumpet. She did not mean to submit to physical
violence, and in the present state of her feeling, an embrace from him would be
a desecration. He was now odious to her; she positively loathed him.
Before her
uplifted hand and those flashing eyes, he stopped as one stricken into stone.
In that instant she knew she was safe; and with a woman’s quickness of
apprehension and resolve, made up her mind what course to pursue. In a calm
voice she said quietly:
‘Mr. Everard,
you have followed me in secret, and without my permission. I cannot talk here
with you, alone. I absolutely refuse to do so; now or at any other time. If you
have anything especial to say to me you will find me at home at noon to-morrow.
Remember, I do not ask you to come. I simply yield to the pressure of your
importunity. And remember also that I do not authorise you in any way to resume
this conversation. In fact, I forbid it. If you come to my house you must
control yourself to my wish!’
Then with a
stately bow, whose imperious distance inflamed him more than ever, and without
once looking back she took her way home, all agitated inwardly and with fast
beating heart.
Leonard came
towards Normanstand next forenoon in considerable mental disturbance. In the
first place he was seriously in love with Stephen, and love is in itself a
disturbing influence.
Leonard’s love
was all of the flesh; and as such had power at present to disturb him, as it
would later have power to torture him. Again, he was disturbed by the fear of
losing Stephen, or rather of not being able to gain her. At first, ever since
she had left him on the path from the hilltop till his interview the next day,
he had looked on her possession as an ‘option,’ to the acceptance of which
circumstances seemed to be compelling him. But ever since, that asset seemed to
have been dwindling; and now he was almost beginning to despair. He was
altogether cold at heart, and yet highly strung with apprehension, as he was
shown into the blue drawing-room.
Stephen came in
alone, closing the door behind her. She shook hands with him, and sat down by a
writing-table near the window, pointing to him to sit on an ottoman a little
distance away. The moment he sat down he realised that he was at a
disadvantage; he was not close to her, and he could not get closer without
manifesting his intention of so doing. He wanted to be closer, both for the
purpose of his suit and for his own pleasure; the proximity of Stephen began to
multiply his love for her. He thought that to-day she looked better than ever,
of a warm radiant beauty which touched his senses with unattainable desire. She
could not but notice the passion in his eyes, and instinctively her eyes
wandered to a silver gong placed on the table well within reach. The more he
glowed, the more icily calm she sat, till the silence between them began to
grow oppressive. She waited, determined that he should be the first to speak.
Recognising the helplessness of silence, he began huskily:
‘I came here
to-day in the hope that you would listen to me.’ Her answer, given with a
conventional smile, was not helpful:
‘I am
listening.’
‘I cannot tell
you how sorry I am that I did not accept your offer. If I had know when I was
coming that day that you loved me . . . ’ She
interrupted him, calm of voice, and with uplifted hand:
‘I never said
so, did I? Surely I could not have said such a thing! I certainly don’t
remember it?’ Leonard was puzzled.
‘You certainly
made me think so. You asked me to marry you, didn’t you?’ Her answer came
calmly, though in a low voice:
‘I did.’
‘Then if you
didn’t love me, why did you ask me to marry you?’ It was his nature to be more
or less satisfied when he had put any one opposed to him proportionally in the
wrong; and now his exultation at having put a poser manifested itself in his
tone. This, however, braced up Stephen to cope with a difficult and painful
situation. It was with a calm, seemingly genial frankness, that she answered,
smilingly:
‘Do you know,
that is what has been puzzling me from that moment to this!’
Her words appeared to almost stupefy Leonard. This view of the matter had not
occurred to him, and now the puzzle of it made him angry.
‘Do you mean to
say,’ he asked hotly, ‘that you asked a man to marry you when you didn’t even
love him?’
‘That is exactly
what I do mean! Why I did it is, I assure you, as much a puzzle to me as it is
to you. I have come to the conclusion that it must have been from my vanity. I
suppose I wanted to dominate somebody; and you were the weakest within range!’
‘Thank you!’ He
was genuinely angry by this time, and, but for a wholesome fear of the
consequences, would have used strong language.
‘I don’t see
that I was the weakest about.’ Somehow this set her on her guard. She wanted to
know more, so she asked:
‘Who else?’
‘Harold An Wolf! You had him on a string already!’ The name came
like a sword through her heart, but the bitter comment braced her to further
caution. Her voice seemed to her to sound as though far away:
‘Indeed! And may
I ask you how you came to know that?’ Her voice seemed so cold and sneering to
him that he lost his temper still further.
‘Simply because he told me so himself.’ It pleased him to do in
ill turn to Harold. He did not forget that savage clutch at his throat; and he
never would. Stephen’s senses were all alert. She saw an opportunity of
learning something, and went on with the same cold voice:
‘And I suppose
it was that pleasing confidence which was the cause of your refusal of my offer
of marriage; of which circumstance you have so thoughtfully and so courteously
reminded me.’ This, somehow, seemed of good import to Leonard. If he could show
her that his intention to marry her was antecedent to Harold’s confidence, she
might still go back to her old affection for him. He could not believe that it
did not still exist; his experience of other women showed him that their love
outlived their anger, whether the same had been hot or cold.
‘It had nothing
in the world to do with it. He never said a word about it till he threatened to
kill me—the great brute!’ This was learning something indeed! She went on in the
same voice:
‘And may I ask
you what was the cause of such sanguinary intention?’
‘Because he knew
that I was going to marry you!’ As he spoke he felt that he had betrayed
himself; he went on hastily, hoping that it might escape notice:
‘Because he knew
that I loved you. Oh! Stephen, don’t you know it now! Can’t you see that I love
you; and that I want you for my wife!’
‘But did he
threaten to kill you out of mere jealousy? Do you still go in fear of your
life? Will it be necessary to arrest him?’ Leonard was chagrined at her
ignoring of his love-suit, and in his self-engrossment answered sulkily:
‘I’m not afraid
of him! And, besides, I believe he has bolted. I called at his house yesterday,
and his servant said they hadn’t heard a word from him.’ Stephen’s heart sank
lower and lower. This was what she had dreaded. She said in as steady a voice
as she could muster:
‘Bolted! Has he gone altogether?’
‘Oh, he’ll come
back all right, in time. He’s not going to give up the jolly good living he has
here!’
‘But why has he
bolted? When he threatened to kill you did he give any reason?’ There was too
much talk about Harold. It made him angry; so he answered in an offhand way:
‘Oh, I don’t
know. And, moreover, I don’t care!’
‘And now,’ said
Stephen, having ascertained what she wanted to know, ‘what is it that you want
to speak to me about?’
Her words fell
on Leonard like a cold douche. Here had he been talking about his love for her,
and yet she ignored the whole thing, and asked him what he wanted to talk
about.
‘What a queer
girl you are. You don’t seem to attend to what a fellow is saying. Here have I
been telling you that I love you, and asking you to marry me; and yet you don’t
seem to have even heard me!’ She answered at once, quite sweetly, and with a
smile of superiority which maddened him:
‘But that
subject is barred!’
‘How do you
mean? Barred!’
‘Yes. I told you
yesterday!’
‘But, Stephen,’
he cried out quickly, all the alarm in him and all the earnestness of which he
was capable uniting to his strengthening, ‘can’t you understand that I love
you, with all my heart? You are so beautiful; so beautiful!’ He felt now in
reality what he was saying.
The torrent of
his words left no opening for her objection; it swept all merely verbal
obstacles before it. She listened, content in a measure. So long as he sat at
the distance which she had arranged before his coming she did not fear any
personal violence. Moreover, it was a satisfaction to her now to hear him, who
had refused her, pleading in vain. The more sincere his eloquence, the larger
her satisfaction; she had no pity for him now.
‘I know I was a
fool, Stephen! I had my chance that day on the hilltop; and if I had felt then
as I feel now, as I have felt every moment since, I would not have been so
cold. I would have taken you in my arms and held you close and kissed you,
again, and again, and again. Oh, darling! I love you! I love you! I love you!’
He held out his arms imploringly. ‘Won’t you love me? Won’t—’
He stopped,
paralysed with angry amazement. She was laughing.
He grew purple
in the face; his hands were still outstretched. The few seconds seemed like
hours.
‘Forgive me!’
she said in a polite tone, suddenly growing grave. ‘But really you looked so
funny, sitting there so quietly, and speaking in such a way, that I couldn’t
help it. You really must forgive me! But remember, I told you the subject was
barred; and as, knowing that, you went on, you really have no one but yourself
to blame!’ Leonard was furious, but managed to say as he dropped his arms:
‘But I love
you!’
‘That may be,
now,’ she went on icily. ‘But it is too late. I do not love you; and I have
never loved you! Of course, had you accepted my offer of marriage you should
never have known that. No matter how great had been my shame and humiliation
when I had come to a sense of what I had done, I should have honourably kept my
part of the tacit compact entered into when I made that terrible mistake. I
cannot tell you how rejoiced and thankful I am that you took my mistake in such
a way. Of course, I do not give you any credit for it; you thought only of
yourself, and did that which you liked best!’
‘That is a nice
sort of thing to tell a man!’ he interrupted with cynical frankness.
‘Oh, I do not
want to hurt you unnecessarily; but I wish there to be no possible
misconception in the matter. Now that I have discovered my error I am not
likely to fall into it again; and that you may not have any error at all, I
tell you now again, that I have not loved you, do not love you, and never will
and never can love you.’ Here an idea struck Leonard and he blurted out:
‘But do you not
think that something is due to me?’
‘How do you
mean?’ Her brows were puckered with real wonder this time.
‘For false hopes raised in my mind. If I did not love you before, the very act
of proposing to me has made me love you; and now I love you so well that I
cannot live without you!’ In his genuine agitation he was starting up, when the
sight of her hand laid upon the gong arrested him. She laughed as she said:
‘I thought that
the privilege of changing one’s mind was a female prerogative! Besides, I have
done already something to make reparation to you for the wrong of . . . of—I
may put it fairly, as the suggestion is your own—of not having treated you as a
woman!’
‘Damn!’
‘As you observe
so gracefully, it is annoying to have one’s own silly words come back at one,
boomerang fashion. I made up my mind to do something for you; to pay off your
debts.’ This so exasperated him that he said out brutally:
‘No thanks to
you for that! As I had to put up with the patronage and the lecturings, and the
eyeglass of that infernal old woman, I don’t intend . . . ’
Stephen stood
up, her hand upon the gong:
‘Mr. Everard, if
you do not remember that you are in my drawing-room, and speaking of my dear
and respected aunt, I shall not detain you longer!’
He sat down at
once, saying surlily:
‘I beg your
pardon. I forgot. You make me so wild that—that . . . ’
He chewed the ends of his moustache angrily. She resumed her seat, taking her
hand from the gong. Without further pause she continued:
‘Quite right! It has been Miss Rowly who paid your debts. At first I had promised
myself the pleasure; but from something in your speech and manner she thought
it better that such an act should not be done by a woman in my position to a
man in yours. It might, if made public, have created quite a wrong impression
in the minds of many of our friends.’
There was
something like a snort from Leonard. She ignored it:
‘So she paid the
money herself out of her own fortune. And, indeed, I must say that you do not
seem to have treated her with much gratitude.’
‘What did I say
or do that put you off doing the thing yourself?’
‘I shall answer
it frankly: It was because you manifested, several times, in a manner there was
no mistaking, both by words and deeds, an intention of levying blackmail on me
by using your knowledge of my ridiculous, unmaidenly act. No one can despise,
or deplore, or condemn that act more than I do; so that rather than yield a
single point to you, I am, if necessary, ready to face the odium which the
public knowledge of it might produce. What I had intended to do for you in the
way of compensation for false hopes raised to you by that act has now been done. That it was done by my aunt on my behalf,
and not by me, matters to you no more than it did to your creditors, who, when
they received the money, made no complaint of injury to their feelings on that
account.
‘Now, when you
think the whole matter over in quietness, you will, knowing that I am ready at
any time to face if necessary the unpleasant publicity, be able to estimate
what damage you would do to yourself by any exposé. It seems to me that you
would come out of it pretty badly all round. That, however, is not my affair;
it entirely rests with yourself. I think I know how
women would regard it. I dare say you best know how men would look at it; and
at you!’
Leonard knew
already how the only man who knew of it had taken it, and the knowledge did not
reassure him!
‘You jade! You infernal, devilish, cruel, smooth-tongued jade!’ He
stood as bespoke. She stood too, and stood watching him with her hand on the
gong. After a pause of a couple of seconds she said gravely:
‘One other thing
I should wish to say, and I mean it. Understand me
clearly, that I mean it! You must not come again into my grounds without my
special permission. I shall not allow my liberty to be taken away, or
restricted, by you. If there be need at any time to come to the house, come in
ceremonious fashion, by the avenues which are used by others.
You can always speak to me in public, or socially, in the most friendly manner;
as I shall hope to be able to speak to you. But you must never transgress the
ordinary rules of decorum. If you do, I shall have to take, for my own
protection, another course. I know you now! I am willing to blot out the past;
but it must be the whole past that is wiped out!’
She stood facing
him; and as he looked at her clear-cut aquiline face, her steady eyes, her
resolute mouth, her carriage, masterly in its self-possessed poise, he saw that
there was no further hope for him. There was no love and no fear.
‘You devil!’ he
hissed.
She struck the
gong; her aunt entered the room.
‘Oh, is that
you, Auntie? Mr. Everard has finished his business with me!’ Then to the
servant, who had entered after Miss Rowly:
‘Mr. Everard
would like his carriage. By the way,’ she added, turning to him in a friendly
way as an afterthought, ‘will you not stay, Mr. Everard, and take lunch with
us? My aunt has been rather moping lately; I am sure your presence would cheer
her up.’
‘Yes, do stay,
Mr. Everard!’ added Miss Rowly placidly. ‘It would make a pleasant hour for us
all.’
Leonard, with a
great effort, said with conventional politeness:
‘Thanks,
awfully! But I promised my father to be home for lunch!’ and he withdrew to the
door which the servant held open.
He went out
filled with anger and despair, and, sad for him, with
a fierce, overmastering desire—love he called it—for the clever, proud,
imperious beauty who had so outmatched and crushed him.
That beautiful
red head, which he had at first so despised, was henceforth to blaze in his
dreams.
On the Scoriac
Harold An Wolf, now John Robinson, kept aloof from
every one. He did not make any acquaintances, did not try to. Some of those at
table with him, being ladies and gentlemen, now and again made a polite remark;
to which he answered with equal politeness. Being what he was he could not
willingly offend any one; and there was nothing in his manner to repel any
kindly overture to acquaintance. But this was the full length his
acquaintanceship went; so he gradually felt himself practically alone. This was
just what he wished; he sat all day silent and alone, or else walked up and
down the great deck that ran from stem to stern, still always alone. As there
were no second-class or steerage passengers on the Scoriac, there were no deck
restraints, and so there was ample room for individual solitude. The
travellers, however, were a sociable lot, and a general feeling of friendliness
was abroad. The first four days of the journey were ideally fine, and life was
a joy. The great ship, with bilge keels, was as steady as a rock.
Among the other
passengers was an American family consisting of Andrew Stonehouse, the great
ironmaster and contractor, with his wife and little daughter.
Stonehouse was a
remarkable man in his way, a typical product of the Anglo-Saxon under American
conditions. He had started in young manhood with nothing but a good education,
due in chief to his own industry and his having taken advantage to the full of
such opportunities as life had afforded to him. By unremitting work he had at
thirty achieved a great fortune, which had, however; been up to then entirely
invested and involved in his businesses. With, however, the colossal plant at
his disposal, and by aid of the fine character he had won for honesty and good
work, he was able within the next ten years to pile up a fortune vast even in a
nation where multi-millionaires are scattered freely. Then he had married, wisely
and happily. But no child had come to crown the happiness of the pair who so
loved each other till a good many years had come and gone. Then, when the hope
of issue had almost passed away, a little daughter came. Naturally the child
was idolised by her parents, and thereafter every step taken by either was with
an eye to her good. When the rigour of winter and the heat of summer told on
the child in a way which the more hardy parents had never felt, she was whirled
away to some place with more promising conditions of health and happiness. When
the doctors hinted that an ocean voyage and a winter in Italy would be
good, those too were duly undertaken. And now, the child being in perfect
health, the family was returning before the weather should get too hot to spend
the summer at their châlet amongst the great pines on the slopes of Mount Ranier.
Like the others on board, Mr. and Mrs. Stonehouse had proffered travellers’
civilities to the sad, lonely young man. As to the others, he had shown thanks
for their gracious courtesy; but friendship, as in other cases, did not
advance. The Stonehouses were not in any way chagrined; their lives were too
happy and too full for them to take needless offence. They respected the young
man’s manifest desire for privacy; and there, so far as they were concerned,
the matter rested.
But this did not
suit the child. Pearl
was a sweet little thing, a real blue-eyed, golden-haired little fairy, full of
loving-kindness. All the mother-instinct in her, and even at six a woman-child
can be a mother—theoretically, went out towards the huge, lonely, sad, silent
young man. She insisted on friendship with him; insisted shamelessly, with the
natural inclination of innocence which rises high above shame. Even the
half-hearted protests of the mother, who loved to see the child happy, did not
deter her; after the second occasion of Pearl’s
seeking him, as she persisted, Harold could but remonstrate with the mother in
turn; the ease of the gentle lady and the happiness of her child were more or
less at stake. When Mrs. Stonehouse would say:
‘There, darling! You must be careful not to annoy the gentleman,’ Pearl would turn a rosy all-commanding face
to her and answer:
‘But, mother, I
want him to play with me. You must play with me!’ Then, as the mother would
look at him, he would say quickly, and with genuine heartiness too:
‘Oh please,
madam, do let her play with me! Come, Pearl,
shall you ride a cock-horse or go to market the way the gentleman rides?’ Then
the child would spring on his knee with a cry of delight, and their games
began.
The presence of
the child and her loving ways were unutterably sweet to Harold; but his
pleasure was always followed by a pain that rent him as he thought of that
other little one, now so far away, and of those times that seemed so long since
gone.
But the child
never relaxed in her efforts to please; and in the long hours of the sea voyage
the friendship between her and the man grew, and grew. He was the biggest and
strongest and therefore most lovely thing on board the ship, and that sufficed
her. As for him, the child manifestly loved and trusted him, and that was
all-in-all to his weary, desolate heart.
The fifth day
out the weather began to change; the waves grew more and more mountainous as
the day wore on and the ship advanced west. Not even the great bulk and weight
of the ship, which ordinarily drove through the seas without pitch or roll,
were proof against waves so gigantic. Then the wind grew fiercer and fiercer,
coming in roaring squalls from the south-west. Most of those on board were
alarmed, for the great waves were dreadful to see, and the sound of the wind
was a trumpet-call to fear.
The sick stayed
in their cabins; the rest found an interest if not a pleasure on deck. Among
the latter were the Stonehouses, who were old travellers. Even Pearl had already had more sea-voyages than
fall to most people in their lives. As for Harold, the storm seemed to come
quite naturally to him and he paced the deck like a ship-master.
It was fortunate
for the passengers that most of them had at this period of the voyage got their
sea legs; otherwise walking on the slippery deck, that seemed to heave as the
rolling of the vessel threw its slopes up or down, would have been impossible. Pearl was, like most
children, pretty sure-footed; holding fast to Harold’s hand she managed to move
about ceaselessly. She absolutely refused to go with any one else. When her
mother said that she had better sit still she answered:
‘But, mother, I
am quite safe with The Man!’ ‘The Man’ was the name she had given Harold, and
by which she always now spoke of him. They had had a good many turns together,
and Harold had, with the captain’s permission, taken her up on the bridge and
showed her how to look out over the ‘dodger’ without the wind hurting her eyes.
Then came the welcome beef-tea hour, and all who had come on deck were cheered
and warmed with the hot soup. Pearl
went below, and Harold, in the shelter of the charthouse, together with a good
many others, looked out over the wild sea.
Harold, despite
the wild turmoil of winds and seas around him, which usually lifted his
spirits, was sad, feeling lonely and wretched; he was suffering from the recoil
of his little friend’s charming presence. Pearl
came on deck again looking for him. He did not see her, and the child, seeing
an opening for a new game, avoided both her father and mother, who also stood
in the shelter of the charthouse, and ran round behind it on the weather side,
calling a loud ‘Boo!’ to attract Harold’s attention as she ran.
A few seconds
later the Scoriac put her nose into a coming wave at just the angle which makes
for the full exercise of the opposing forces. The great wave seemed to strike
the ship on the port quarter like a giant hammer; and for an instant she stood
still, trembling. Then the top of the wave seemed to leap up and deluge her.
The wind took the flying water and threw it high in volumes of broken spray,
which swept not only the deck but the rigging as high as the top of the
funnels. The child saw the mass of water coming, and shrieking flew round the
port side of the charthouse. But just as she turned down the open space between
it and the funnel the vessel rolled to starboard. At the same moment came a
puff of wind of greater violence than ever. The child, calling out, half in
simulated half in real fear, flew down the slope. As she did so the gale took
her, and in an instant whirled her, almost touching her mother, over the rail
into the sea.
Mrs. Stonehouse
shrieked and sprang forward as though to follow her child. She was held back by
the strong arm of her husband. They both slipped on the sloping deck and fell
together into the scuppers. There was a chorus of screams from all the women
present. Harold, with an instinctive understanding of the dangers yet to be
encountered, seized a red tam-o’-shanter from the head of a young girl who
stood near.
Her exclamation
of surprise was drowned in the fearful cry ‘Man overboard!’ and all rushed down
to the rail and saw Harold, as he emerged from the water, pull the red cap over
his head and then swim desperately towards the child, whose golden hair was
spread on the rising wave.
The instant
after Pearl’s
being swept overboard might be seen the splendid discipline of a well-ordered
ship. Every man to his post, and every man with a knowledge
of his duty. The First Officer called to the Quartermaster at the wheel in a
voice which cut through the gale like a trumpet:
‘Hard a port! Hard!’
The stern of the
great ship swung away to port in time to clear the floating child from the
whirling screw, which would have cut her to pieces in an instant. Then the
Officer after tearing the engine-room signal to ‘Starboard engine full speed
astern,’ ran for the lifebuoy hanging at the starboard end of the bridge. This
he hurled far into the sea. As it fell the attached rope dragged with it the signal, which so soon as it reaches water bursts into smoke and
flame—signal by day and night. This done, and it had all been done in a
couple of seconds, he worked the electric switch of the syren, which screamed
out quickly once, twice, thrice. This is the dread sound which means ‘man
overboard,’ and draws to his post every man on the ship, waking or sleeping.
The Captain was
now on the bridge and in command, and the First Officer, freed from his duty
there, ran to the emergency boat, swung out on its davits on the port side.
All this time,
though only numbered by seconds, the Scoriac was turning hard to starboard,
making a great figure of eight; for it is quicker to turn one of these great
sea monsters round than to stop her in mid career. The aim of her Captain in
such cases is to bring her back to the weather side of the floating buoy before
launching the boat.
On deck the
anguish of the child’s parents was pitiable. Close to the rail, with her husband’s
arms holding her tight to it, the distressed mother leaned out; but always
moving so that she was at the nearest point of the ship to her child. As the
ship passed on it became more difficult to see the heads. In the greater
distance they seemed to be quite close together. All at once, just as a great
wave which had hidden them in the farther trough passed on, the mother screamed
out:
‘She’s sinking! she’s sinking! Oh, God! Oh, God!’ and she fell on her knees,
her horrified eyes, set in a face of ashen grey, looking out between the rails.
But at the
instant all eyes saw the man’s figure rise in the water as he began to dive.
There was a hush which seemed deadly; the onlookers feared to draw breath. And
then the mother’s heart leaped and her cry rang out again as two heads rose
together in the waste of sea:
‘He has her! He
has her! He has her! Oh, thank God! Thank God!’ and for a single instant she
hid her face in her hands.
Then when the
fierce ‘hurrah’ of all on board had been hushed in expectation, the comments
broke forth. Most of the passengers had by this time got glasses of one kind or
another.
‘See! He’s
putting the cap on the child’s head. He’s a cool one that. Fancy him thinking
of a red cap at such a time!’
‘Ay! we could see that cap, when it might be we couldn’t see
anything else.’
‘Look!’ this
from an old sailor standing by his boat, ‘how he’s raisin’ in the water. He’s
keeping his body between her an’ the spindrift till the squall has passed. That
would choke them both in a wind like this if he didn’t know how to guard
against it. He’s all right; he is! The little maid is safe wi’
him.’
‘Oh, bless you!
Bless you for those words,’ said the mother, turning towards him. ‘At this
moment the Second Officer, who had run down from the bridge, touched Mr.
Stonehouse on the shoulder.
‘The captain
asked me to tell you, sir, that you and Mrs.
Stonehouse had better come to him on the bridge. You’ll see better from there.’
They both
hurried up, and the mother again peered out with fixed eyes. The Captain tried
to comfort her; laying his strong hand on her shoulder, he said:
‘There, there!
Take comfort, ma’am. She is in the hands of God! All that mortal man can do is
being done. And she is safer with that gallant young giant than she could be
with any other man on the ship. Look, how he is protecting her! Why he knows
that all that can be done is being done. He is waiting for us to get to him,
and is saving himself for it. Any other man who didn’t know so much about
swimming as he does would try to reach the lifebuoy; and would choke the two of
them with the spindrift in the trying. Mind how he took the red cap to help us
see them. He’s a fine lad that; a gallant lad!’
Presently the
Captain handed Mrs. Stonehouse a pair of binoculars. For an instant she looked
through them, then handed them back and continued gazing out to where the two
heads appeared—when they did appear on the crest of the waves like pin-heads.
The Captain said half to himself and half to the father:
‘Mother’s eyes! Mother’s eyes!’ and the father understood.
As the ship
swept back to the rescue, her funnels sending out huge volumes of smoke which
the gale beat down on the sea to leeward, the excitement grew tenser and
tenser. Men dared hardly breathe; women wept and clasped their hands
convulsively as they prayed. In the emergency boat the men sat like statues,
their oars upright, ready for instant use. The officer stood with the falls in
his hand ready to lower away.
When opposite
the lifebuoy, and about a furlong from Harold and Pearl, the Captain gave the signal ‘Stop,’
and then a second later: ‘Full speed astern.’
‘Ready, men! Steady!’ As the coming wave slipping under the ship began to rise up her
side, the officer freed the falls and the boat sank softly into the lifting
sea.
Instantly the
oars struck the water, and as the men bent to them a cheer rang out.
* * * * *
Harold and Pearl heard, and the man
turning his head for a moment saw that the ship was close at hand, gradually
drifting down to the weather side of them. He raised the child in his arms,
saying:
‘Now, Pearl,
wave your hand to mother and say, hurrah!’ The child, fired into fresh hope,
waved her tiny hand and cried ‘Hurrah! Hurrah!’ The sound could not reach the
mother’s ears; but she saw, and her heart leaped. She too waved her hand, but
she uttered no sound. The sweet high voice of the child crept over the water to
the ears of the men in the boat, and seemed to fire their arms with renewed
strength.
A few more
strokes brought them close, Harold with a last effort
raised the child in his arms as the boat drove down on them. The boatswain
leaning over the bow grabbed the child, and with one sweep of his strong arm
took her into the boat. The bow oarsman caught Harold by the wrist. The way of
the boat took him for a moment under water; but the next man; pulling his oar
across the boat, stooped over and caught him by the collar, and clung fast. A
few seconds more and he was hauled abroad. A wild
cheer from all on the Scoriac came, sweeping down on the wind.
When once the
boat’s head had been turned towards the ship, and the oars had bent again to
their work, they came soon within shelter. When they had got close enough ropes
were thrown out, caught and made fast; and then came down one of the bowlines which
the seamen held ready along the rail of the lower deck. This was seized by the
boatswain, who placed it round him under his armpits. Then, standing with the
child in his arms he made ready to be pulled up. Pearl held out her arms to Harold, crying in fear:
‘No, no, let The
Man take me! I want to go with The Man!’ He said quietly so as not to frighten
her:
‘No, no, dear!
Go with him! He can do this better than I can!’ So she clung quietly to the
seaman, holding her face pressed close against his shoulder. As the men above
pulled at the rope, keeping it as far as possible from the side of the vessel,
the boatswain fended himself off with his feet. In a
few seconds he was seized by eager hands and pulled over the rail, tenderly
holding and guarding the child all the while. In an instant she was in the arms
of her mother, who had thrown herself upon her knees and pressed her close to
her loving heart. The child put her little arms around her neck and clung to
her. Then looking up and seeing the grey pallor of her face, which even her
great joy could not in a moment efface, she stroked it and said:
‘Poor mother! Poor mother! And now I have made you all wet!’ Then, feeling her
father’s hand on her head she turned and leaped into his arms, where he held
her close.
Harold was the
next to ascend. He came amid a regular tempest of cheers, the seamen joining
with the passengers. The officers, led by the Captain waving his cap from the
bridge, joined in the paean.
The boat was
cast loose. An instant after the engine bells tinkled: ‘Full speed ahead.’
Mrs. Stonehouse
had no eyes but for her child, except for one other. When
Harold leaped down from the rail she rushed at him, all those around
instinctively making way for her. She flung her arms around him and
kissed him, and then before he could stop her sank to her knees at his feet,
and taking his hand kissed it. Harold was embarrassed beyond all thinking. He
tried to take away his hand, but she clung tight to it.
‘No, no!’ she
cried. ‘You saved my child!’
Harold was a
gentleman and a kindly one. He said no word till she had risen, still holding
his hand, when he said quietly:
‘There! there! Don’t cry. I was only too happy to be of service. Any
other man on board would have done the same. I was the nearest,
and therefore had to be first. That was all!’
Mr. Stonehouse
came to him and said as he grasped Harold’s hand so hard that his fingers
ached:
‘I cannot thank
you as I would. But you are a man and will understand. God be good to you as
you have been good to my child; and to her mother and myself!’
As he turned away Pearl,
who had now been holding close to her mother’s hand, sprang to him holding up
her arms. He raised her up and kissed her. Then he placed her back in her
mother’s arms.
All at once she
broke down as the recollection of danger swept back upon her. ‘Oh, Mother!
Mother!’ she cried, with a long, low wail, which touched every one of her
hearers to the heart’s core.
‘The hot
blankets are all ready. Come, there is not a moment to be lost. I’ll be with
you when I have seen the men attended to!’
So the mother,
holding her in her arms and steadied by two seamen lest she should slip on the
wet and slippery deck, took the child below.
Harold was taken
by another set of men, who rubbed him down till he glowed, and poured hot
brandy and water into him till he had to almost use force against the
superabundance of their friendly ministrations.
For the
remainder of that day a sort of solemn gladness ruled on the Scoriac. The
Stonehouse family remained in their suite, content in glad thankfulness to be
with Pearl, who
lay well covered up on the sofa sleeping off the effects of the excitement and
the immersion, and the result of the potation which the Doctor had forced upon
her. Harold was simply shy, and objecting to the publicity which he felt to be
his fate, remained in his cabin till the trumpet had blown the dinner call.
After dinner
Harold went back to his cabin; locking himself in, he lay down on the sofa. The
gloom of his great sorrow was heavy on him; the reaction from the excitement of
the morning had come.
He was recalled
to himself by a gentle tapping. Unlocking and opening the door he saw Mr.
Stonehouse, who said with trouble in his voice:
‘I came to you
on account of my little child.’ There he stopped with a break in his voice.
Harold, with intent to set his mind at ease and to stave off further
expressions of gratitude, replied:
‘Oh, pray don’t
say anything. I am only too glad that I was privileged to be of service. I only
trust that the dear little girl is no worse for her—her adventure!’
‘That is why I
am here,’ said the father quickly. ‘My wife and I are loth to trouble you. But
the poor little thing has worked herself into a
paroxysm of fright and is calling for you. We have tried in vain to comfort or
reassure her. She will not be satisfied without you. She keeps calling on “The
Man” to come and help her. I am loth to put you to further strain after all you
have gone through to-day; but if you would come—’ Harold was already in the
passage as he spoke:
‘Of course I’m
coming. If I can in any way help it is both a pleasure and a duty to be with
her.’ Turning to the father he added:
‘She is indeed a
very sweet and good child. I shall never forget how she bore herself whilst we
waited for aid to come.’
‘You must tell
her mother and me all about it,’ said the father; much
moved.
When they came
close to the Stonehouses’ suite of rooms they heard Pearl’s voice rising with a pitiful note of
fear:
‘Where is The
Man? Oh! where is The Man? Why doesn’t he come to me?
He can save me! I want to be with The Man!’ When the door opened and she saw
him she gave shriek of delight, and springing from the arms of her mother
fairly leaped into Harold’s arms which were outstretched to receive her. She
clung to him and kissed him again and again, rubbing her little hands all over
his face as though to prove to herself that he was
real and not a dream. Then with a sigh she laid her head on his breast, the
reaction of sleep coming all at once to her. With a gesture of silence Harold
sat down, holding the child in his arms. Her mother laid a thick shawl over and
sat down close to Harold. Mr. Stonehouse stood quiet in the doorway with the
child’s nurse peering anxiously over his shoulder.
After a little while,
when he thought she was asleep, Harold rose and began to place her gently in
the bunk. But the moment he did so she waked with a scream. The fright in her
eyes was terrible. She clung to him, moaning and crying out between her sobs:
‘Don’t leave me!
Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!’ Harold was much moved and held the little
thing tight in his strong arms, saying to her:
‘No darling! I
shan’t leave you! Look in my eyes, dear, and I will promise you, and then you
will be happy. Won’t you?’
She looked quickly
up in his face. Then she kissed him lovingly, and rested her head, but not
sleepily this time, on his breast said:
‘Yes! I’m not
afraid now! I’m going to stay with The Man!’ Presently Mrs. Stonehouse, who had
been thinking of ways and means, and of the comfort of the strange man who had
been so good to her child, said:
‘You will sleep
with mother to-night, darling. Mr. . . . The Man,’ she
said this with an appealing look of apology to Harold, ‘The Man will stay by
you till you are asleep . . . ’ But she interrupted, not fretfully or
argumentatively, but with a settled air of content:
‘No! I’m going
to sleep with The Man!’
‘But, dear one,’
the mother expostulated, ‘The Man will want sleep too.’
‘All right,
mother. He can sleep too. I’ll be very good and lie quite quiet; but oh! mother, I can’t sleep unless his arms are round me. I’m
afraid if they’re not the sea will get me!’ and she clung closer to Harold,
tightening her arms round his neck.
‘You will not
mind?’ asked Mrs. Stonehouse timidly to Harold; and, seeing acquiescence in his
face, added in a burst of tearful gratitude:
‘Oh! you are good to her to us all!’
‘Hush!’ Harold
said quietly. Then he said to Pearl,
in a cheerful matter-of-fact way which carried conviction to the child’s mind:
‘Now, darling,
it is time for all good little girls to be asleep, especially when they have
had an—an interesting day. You wait here till I put my
pyjamas on, and then I’ll come back for you. And mother and father shall come
and see you nicely tucked in!’
‘Don’t be long!’
the child anxiously called after him as he hurried away. Even trust can have
its doubts.
In a few minutes
Harold was back, in pyjamas and slipper and a dressing-gown. Pearl, already wrapped in a warm shawl by her
mother, held out her arms to Harold, who lifted her.
The Stonehouses’
suite of rooms was close to the top of the companion-way, and as Harold’s
stateroom was on the saloon deck, the little procession had, much to the man’s
concern, run the gauntlet of the thong of passengers whom the bad weather had
kept indoors. When he came out of the day cabin carrying the child there was a
rush of all the women to make much of the little girl. They were all very kind
and no troublesome; their interest was natural enough, and Harold stopped
whilst they petted the little thing.
The little
procession followed. Mr. and Mrs. Stonehouse coming
next, and last the nurse, who manifested a phase of the anxiety of a hen who
sees her foster ducklings waddling toward a pond.
When Harold was
in his bunk the little maid was brought in.
When they had
all gone and the cabin was dark, save for the gleam from the nightlight which
the careful mother had placed out of sight in the basin at the foot of the
bunk, Harold lay a long time in a negative state, if such be possible, in so
far as thought was concerned.
Presently he
became conscious of a movement of the child his arms; a shuddering movement,
and a sort of smothered groan. The little thing was living over again in sleep
the perils and fears of the day. Instinctively she put up her hands and felt the a round her. Then with a sigh clasped her arms round his
neck, and with a peaceful look laid her head upon his
breast. Even through the gates of sleep her instinct had recognised and
realised protection.
And then this
trust of a little child brought back the man to his nobler self. Once again
came back to him that love which he had had, and which he knew now that he had
never lost, for the little child that he had seen grow into full womanhood;
whose image must dwell in his heart of hearts for evermore.
The long night’s
sleep quite restored Pearl.
She woke fairly early and without any recurrence of fear. At first she lay
still, fearing she would wake The Man, but finding that he was awake—he had not
slept a wink all night—she kissed him and then scrambled out of bed.
It was still
early morning, but early hours rule on shipland. Harold rang for the steward,
and when the man came he told him to tell Mr. Stonehouse that the child was
awake. His delight when he found the child unfrightened looking out of the port
was unbounded.
That day Harold
passed in unutterable gloom. The reaction was strong on him; and all his woe,
his bitter remembrance of the past and his desolation for the future, were with
him unceasingly.
In the dusk of
the evening he wandered out to his favourite spot, the cable-tank on top of the
aft wheelhouse. Here he had been all alone, and his loneliness had the added
advantage that from the isolated elevation he could see if anyone approached.
He had been out there during the day, and the Captain, who had noticed his
habit had had rigged up a canvas dodger on the rail on the weather side. When
he sat down on the coiled hawsers in the tank he was both secluded and
sheltered. In this peaceful corner his thoughts ran freely and in sympathy with
the turmoil of wind and wave.
How unfair it
all was! Why had he been singled out for such misery? What gleam of hope or
comfort was left to his miserable life since he had heard the words of Stephen;
those dreadful words which had shattered in an instant all the cherished hopes
of his life. Too well he remembered the tone and look of scorn with which the
horrible truths had been conveyed to him. In his inmost soul he accepted them
as truths; Stephen’s soul had framed them and Stephen’s lips had sent them
forth.
From his
position behind the screen he did not see the approaching figure of Mr.
Stonehouse, and was astonished when he saw his head rise above the edge of the
tank as he climbed the straight Jacob’s ladder behind the wheelhouse. The elder
man paused as he saw him and said in an apologetic way:
‘Will you
forgive my intruding on your privacy? I wanted to speak to you alone; and as I
saw you come here a while ago I thought it would be a good opportunity.’ Harold
was rising as he spoke.
‘By all means. This place is common property. But all the same I am honoured in your
seeking me.’ The poor fellow wished to be genial; but despite his efforts there
was a strange formality in the expression of his words. The elder man
understood, and said as he hurried forward and sank beside him:
‘Pray don’t
stir! Why, what a cosy corner this is. I don’t believe at this moment there is
such peace in the ship!’
Once again the
bitterness of Harold’s heart broke out in sudden words:
‘I hope not!
There is no soul on board to whom I could wish such evil!’ The old man said as
he laid his hand softly on the other’s shoulder:
‘God help you,
my poor boy, if such pain is in your heart!’ Mr. Stonehouse looked out at the sea, at last turning his face to him again he spoke:
‘If you feel
that I intrude on you I earnestly ask you to forgive me; but I think that the
years between your age and mine as well as my feeling towards the great
obligation which I owe you will plead for excuse. There is something I would
like to say to you, sir; but I suppose I must not without your permission. May
I have it?’
‘If you wish, sir. I can at least hear it.’
The old man
bowed and went on:
‘I could not but
notice that you have some great grief bearing upon you; and from one thing or
another—I can tell you the data if you wish me to do so—I have come to the
conclusion that you are leaving your native land because of it.’ Here Harold,
wakened to amazement by the readiness with which his secret had been divined, said
quickly, rather as an exclamation than interrogation:
‘How on earth
did you know that!’ His companion, taking it as a
query, answered:
‘Sir, at your
age and with your strength life should be a joy; and yet you are sad:
Companionship should be a pleasure; yet you prefer solitude. That you are brave
and unselfish I know; I have reason, thank God! to
know it. That you are kindly and tolerant is apparent from your bearing to my
little child this morning; as well as your goodness of last night, the remembrance
of which her mother and I will bear to our graves; and to me now. I have not
lived all these years without having had trouble in my own heart; and although
the happiness of late years has made it dim, my gratitude to you who are so sad
brings it all back to me.’ He bowed, and Harold, wishing to avoid speaking of
his sorrow, said:
‘You are quite
right so far as I have a sorrow; and it is because of it I have turned my back
on home. Let it rest at that!’ His companion bowed gravely and went on.
‘I take it that
you are going to begin life afresh in the new country. In such case I have a
proposition to make. I have a large business; a business so large that I am
unable to manage it all myself. I was intending that when I arrived at home I
would set about finding a partner. The man I want is not an ordinary man. He
must have brains and strength and daring.’ He paused. Harold felt what was
coming, but realised, as he jumped at the conclusion, that it would not do for
him to take for granted that he was the man sought. He waited; Mr. Stonehouse
went on:
‘As to brains, I
am prepared to take the existence of such on my own judgment. I have been
reading men, and in this aspect specially, all my life. The man I have thought
of has brains. I am satisfied of that, without proof. I have proof of the other
qualities.’ He paused again; as Harold said nothing he continued in a manner
ill at ease:
‘My difficulty
is to make the proposal to the man I want. It is so difficult to talk business
to a man to whom you under great obligation; to whom you owe everything. He
might take a friendly overture ill.’ There was but one thing to be said and
Harold said it. His heart warmed to the kindly old man and he wished to spare
him pain; even if he could not accept him proposition:
‘He couldn’t
take it ill; unless he was an awful bounder.’
‘It was you I
thought of!’
‘I thought so
much, sir;’ said Harold after a pause, ‘and I thank you earnestly and honestly.
But it is impossible.’
‘Oh, my dear
sir!’ said the other, chagrined as well as surprised. ‘Think again! It is
really worth your while to think of it, no matter what your ultimate decision
may be!’
Harold shook his
head. There was a long silence. The old man wished to give his companion time
to think; and indeed he thought that Harold was weighing the proposition in his
mind. As for Harold, he was thinking how best he could make his absolute
refusal inoffensive. He must, he felt, give some reason; and his thoughts were
bent on how much of the truth he could safely give without endangering his
secret. Therefore he spoke at last in general terms:
‘I can only ask
you, sir, to bear with me and to believe that I am very truly and sincerely
grateful to you for your trust. But the fact is, I cannot go
anywhere amongst people. Of course you understand that I am speaking in
confidence; to you alone and to none other?’
‘Absolutely!’
said Mr. Stonehouse gravely. Harold went on:
‘I must be
alone. I can only bear to see people on this ship because it is a necessary way
to solitude.’
‘You “cannot go
anywhere amongst people”! Pardon me. I don’t wish to be unduly inquisitive; but
on my word I fail to understand!’ Harold was in a great difficulty. Common
courtesy alone forbade that he should leave the matter where it was; and in
addition both the magnificently generous offer which had been made to him, and
the way in which accident had thrown him to such close intimacy with Pearl’s family, required
that he should be at least fairly frank. At last in a sort of cold desperation
he said:
‘I cannot meet
anyone . . . There it something that happened . . . Something I did . . .
Nothing can make it right . . . All I can do is to lose myself in the wildest,
grimmest, wilderness in the world; and fight my pain . . . my shame . . . !’
A long silence. Then the old man’s voice came clear and sweet, something like music, in
the shelter from the storm:
‘But perhaps
time may mend things. God is very good . . . !’ Harold answered out of the
bitterness of his heart. He felt that his words were laden with an anger which he did not feel, but he did not see his way
to alter them:
‘Nothing can
mend this thing! It is at the farthest point of evil; and there is no going on
or coming back. Nothing can wipe out what is done; what is past!’
Again silence,
and again the strong, gentle voice:
‘God can do
much! Oh my dear young friend, you who have been such a friend to me and mine,
think of this.’
‘God Himself can
do nothing here! It is done! And that is the end!’ He turned his head; it was
all he could do to keep from groaning. The old man’s voice vibrated with
earnest conviction as he spoke:
‘You are young
and strong and brave! Your heart is noble! You can think quickly in moments of
peril; therefore your brain is sound and alert. Now, may I ask you a favour? it is not much. Only that you will listen,
without interruption, to what, if I have your permission, I am going to say.
Do not ask me anything; do not deny; do not interrupt! Only listen! May I ask
this?’
‘By all means! It is not much!’ he almost felt like smiling as he spoke. Mr. Stonehouse,
after a short pause, as if arranging his thoughts, spoke:
‘Let me tell you
what I am. I began life with nothing but a fair education such as all our
American boys get. But from a good mother I got an idea that to be honest was
the best of all things; from a strenuous father, who, however, could not do
well for himself, I learned application to work and how best to use and
exercise such powers as were in me. From the start things prospered with me.
Men who knew me trusted me; some came with offers to share in my enterprise.
Thus I had command of what capital I could use; I was able to undertake great
works and to carry them through. Fortune kept growing and growing; for as I got
wealthier I found newer and larger and more productive uses for my money. And
in all my work I can say before God I never willingly wronged any man. I am
proud to be able to say that my name stands good wherever it has been used. It
may seem egotistical that I say such things of myself. It may seem bad taste;
but I speak because I have a motive in so doing. I want you to understand at
the outset that in my own country, wherever I am known and in my own work, my
name is a strength.’
He paused a
while. Harold sat still; he knew that such man would not, could not, speak in
such a way without a strong motive; and to learn that motive he waited.
‘When you were
in the water making what headway you could in that awful sea—when my little
child’s life hung in the balance, and the anguish of my wife’s heart nearly
tore my heart in two, I said to myself, “If we had a son I should wish him to
be like that.” I meant it then, and I mean it now! Come to me as you are! Faults, and past, and all. Forget the past! Whatever it was
we will together try to wipe it out. Much may be done in restoring where there
has been any wrong-doing. Take my name as your own. It will protect you from
the result of what ever has been, and give you an opportunity to find your
place again. You are not bad in heart I know. Whatever you have done has not
been from base motives. Few of us are spotless as to facts. You and I will show
ourselves—for unless God wills to the opposite we shall confide in none
other—that a strong, brave man may win back all that was lost. Let me call you
by my name and hold you as the son of my heart; and it will be a joy and
pleasure to my declining years.’
As he had
spoken, Harold’s thought’s had at first followed in some wonderment. But
gradually, as his noble purpose unfolded, based as it was on a misconception as
to the misdoing of which he himself had spoken, he had been almost stricken
dumb. At the first realisation of what was intended he could not have spoken
had he tried; but at the end he had regained his thoughts and his voice. There
was still wonderment in it, as realising from the long pause that the old man
had completed his suggestion, he spoke:
‘If I understand
aright you are offering me your name! Offering to share your
honour with me. With me, whom, if again I understand, you take as having
committed some crime?’
‘I inferred from
what you said and from your sadness, your desire to shun your kind, that there
was, if not a crime, some fault which needed expiation.’
‘But your honour, sir; your honour!’ There was a proud look in the old man’s eyes
as he said quietly:
‘It was my
desire, is my desire, to share with you what I have that is best; and that, I
take it, is not the least valuable of my possessions, such as they are! And why not? You have given to me all that makes life sweet;
without which it would be unbearable. That child who came to my wife and me
when I was old and she had passed her youth is all in all to us both. Had your
strength and courage been for barter in the moments when my child was quivering
between life and death, I would have cheerfully purchased them with not half
but all! Sir, I should have given my soul! I can say this now, for gratitude is
above all barter; and surely it is allowed to a father
to show gratitude for the life of his child!’
This
great-hearted generosity touched Harold to the quick. He could hardly speak for
a few minutes. Then instinctively grasping the old man’s hand he said:
‘You overwhelm
me. Such noble trust and generosity as you have shown me demands a return of
trust. But I must think! Will you remain here and let me return to you in a little
while?’
He rose quickly
and slipped down the iron ladder, passing into the darkness and the mist and
the flying spray.
Harold went to
and fro on the deserted deck. All at once the course he had to pursue opened
out before him. He was aware that what the noble-minded old man offered him was
fortune, great fortune in any part of the world. He would have to be refused,
but the refusal should be gently done. He, believing that the other had done
something very wrong, had still offered to share with him his name, his honour.
Such confidence demanded full confidence in return; the unwritten laws which
governed the men amongst whom he had been brought up required it.
And the shape
that confidence should take? He must first disabuse his new friend’s mind of
criminal or unworthy cause for his going away. For the sake of his own name and
that of his dead father that should be done. Then he would have to suggest the
real cause . . . He would in this have to trust Mr.
Stonehouse’s honour for secrecy. But he was worthy of trust. He would, of
course, give no name, no clue; but he would put things generally in a way that
he could understand.
When his mind
was so far made up he wanted to finish the matter, so he turned to the
wheelhouse and climbed the ladder again. It was not till he sat in the shelter
by his companion that he became aware that he had become wet with the spray.
The old man wishing to help him in his embarrassment said:
‘Well?’ Harold
began at once; the straightforward habit of his life stood to him now:
‘Let me say
first, sir, what will I know give you pleasure.’ The old man extended his hand;
he had been hoping for acceptance, and this seemed like it. Harold laid his
hand on it for an instant only, and then raised it as if to say ‘Wait’:
‘You have been
so good to me, so nobly generous in your wishes that I feel I owe you a certain
confidence. But as it concerns not myself alone I will
ask that it be kept a secret between us two. Not to be told to any other; not
even your wife!’
‘I will hold
your secret sacred. Even from my wife; the first secret I shall have ever kept
from her.’
‘First, then,
let me say, and this is what I know will rejoice you, that I am not leaving
home and country because of any crime I have committed; not from any offence
against God or man, or law. Thank God! I am free from such. I have always tried
to live uprightly . . . ’ Here a burst of pain
overcame him, and with a dry sob he added: ‘And that is what makes the terrible
unfairness of it all!’
The old man laid
a kindly hand on his shoulder and kept it there for a few moments.
‘My poor boy! My poor boy!’ was all he said. Harold shook himself as if to dislodge
the bitter thoughts. Mastering himself he went on:
‘There was a
lady with whom I was very much thrown in contact since we were children. Her
father was my father’s friend. My friend too, God knows; for almost with his
dying breath he gave sanction to my marrying his daughter, if it should ever be
that she should care for me in that way. But he wished me to wait, and, till
she was old enough to choose, to leave her free. For she is several years
younger than I am; and I am not very old yet—except in heart! All this, you
understand, was said in private to me; none other knew it. None knew of it even
till this moment when I tell you that such a thing has been.’ He paused; the
other said:
‘Believe me that
I value your confidence, beyond all words!’ Harold felt already the good
effects of being able to speak of his pent-up trouble. Already this freedom
from the nightmare loneliness of his own thoughts seemed to be freeing his very
soul.
‘I honestly kept
to his wishes. Before God, I did! No man who loved a woman, honoured her,
worshipped her, could have been more scrupulously careful as to leaving her
free. What it was to me to so hold myself no one knows; no one ever will know.
For I loved her, do love her, with every nerve and fibre of my heart. All our
lives we had been friends; and I believed we loved and trusted each other. But
. . . but then there came a day when I found by chance that a great trouble
threatened her. Not from anything wrong that she had done; but from something
perhaps foolish, harmlessly foolish except that she did not know . . . ’ He stopped suddenly, fearing he might have said overmuch
of Stephen’s side of the affair. ‘When I came to her aid, however, meaning the
best, and as single-minded as a man can be, she misunderstood my words, my
meaning, my very coming; and she said things which cannot be unsaid. Things . .
. matters were so fixed that I could not explain; and I had to listen. She said
things that I did not believe she could have said to me, to anyone. Things that
I did not think she could have thought . . . I dare say she was right in some
ways. I suppose I bungled in my desire to be unselfish. What she said came to
me in new lights upon what I had done . . . But anyhow her statements were such
that I felt I could not, should not, remain. My very presence must have been a
trouble to her hereafter. There was nothing for it but to come away. There was
no place for me! No hope for me! There is none on this side of the grave! . . .
For I love her still, more than ever. I honour and worship her still, and ever
will, and ever must! . . . I am content to forego my own happiness; but I feel
there is a danger to her from what has been. That there is and must be to her
unhappiness even from the fact that it was I who was the object of her wrath;
and this adds to my woe. Worst of all is . . . the thought and the memory that
she should have done so; she who . . . she . . . ’
He turned away
overcome and hid his face in his hands. The old man sat still; he knew that at
such a moment silence is the best form of sympathy. But his heart glowed; the
wisdom of his years told him that he had heard as yet of no absolute bar to his
friend’s ultimate happiness.
‘I am rejoiced,
my dear boy, at what you tell me of your own conduct. It would have made no
difference to me had it been otherwise. But it would have meant a harder and
longer climb back to the place you should hold. But it really seems that
nothing is so hopeless as you think. Believe me, my
dear young friend who are now as a son to my heart, that there will be bright
days for you yet . . . ’ He paused a moment, but
mastering himself went on in a quiet voice:
‘I think you are
wise to go away. In the solitudes and in danger things that are little in
reality will find their true perspective; and things that are worthy will
appear in their constant majesty.’
He stood, and
laying once again his hand on the young man’s shoulder said:
‘I recognise
that I—that we, for my wife and little girl would be at one with me in my wish,
did they know of it, must not keep you from your purpose of fighting out your
trouble alone. Every man, as the Scotch proverb says, must “dree his own
weird.” I shall not, I must not, ask you for any promise; but I trust that if
ever you do come back you will make us all glad by seeing you. And remember
that what I said of myself and of all I have—all—holds good
so long as I shall live!’
Before Harold
could reply he had slipped down the ladder and was gone.
During the rest
of the voyage, with the exception of one occasion, he did not allude to the
subject again by word or implication, and Harold was grateful to him for it.
On the night before
Fire Island should be sighted Harold was in
the bow of the great ship looking out with eyes in which gleamed
no hope. To him came through the darkness Mr. Stonehouse.
He heard the footsteps and knew them; so with the instinct of courtesy, knowing
that his friend would not intrude on his solitude without purpose, he turned
and met him. When the American stood beside him he said, studiously avoiding
looking at his companion:
‘This is the
last night we shall be together, and, if I may, there is one thing I would like
to say to you.’
‘Say all you
like, sir,’ said Harold as heartily as he could, ‘I am sure it is well meant;
and for that at any rate I shall be grateful to you.’
‘You will yet be
grateful, I think!’ he answered gravely. ‘When it comes back to you in
loneliness and solitude you will, I believe, think it worth being grateful for.
I don’t mean that you will be grateful to me, but for the thing itself. I speak
out of the wisdom of many years. At your time of life the knowledge cannot come
from observation. It may my poor boy, come through pain; and if what I think is
correct you will even in due time be grateful to the pain which left such
golden residuum.’ He paused, and Harold grew interested. There was something in
the old man’s manner which presaged a truth; he, at least, believed it. So the
young man listened at first with his ears; and as the other spoke, his heart
listened too:
‘Young men are
apt to think somewhat wrongly of women they love and respect. We are apt to
think that such women are of a different clay from
ourselves. Nay! that they are not compact of clay at
all, but of some faultless, flawless material which the Almighty keeps for such
fine work. It is only in middle age that men—except scamps, who learn this bad
side of knowledge young—realise that women are human beings like themselves. It
may be, you know, that you may have misjudged this
young lady! That you have not made sufficient allowance for
her youth, her nature, even the circumstances under which she spoke. You
have told me that she was in some deep grief or trouble. May it not have been
that this in itself unnerved her, distorted her views, aroused her passion till
all within and around was tinged with the jaundice of her concern, her
humiliation—whatever it was that destroyed for the time that normal self which
you had known so long. May it not have been that her bitterest memory even
since may be of the speaking of these very words which sent you out into the
wide world to hide yourself from men. I have thought,
waking and sleeping, of your position ever since you honoured me with your
confidence; and with every hour the conviction has strengthened in me that
there is a way out of this situation which sends a man like you into solitude
with a heart hopeless and full of pain; and which leaves her perhaps in greater
pain, for she has not like you the complete sense of innocence. But at present
there is no way out but through time and thought. Whatever may be her ideas or
wishes she is powerless. She does not know your thoughts, no matter how she may
guess at them. She does not know where you are or how to reach you, no matter
how complete her penitence may be. And oh! my dear
young friend, remember that you are a strong man, and she is a woman. Only a woman in her passion and her weakness after all.
Think this all over, my poor boy! You will have time and opportunity where you
are going. God help you to judge wisely!’ After a pause of a few seconds he
said abruptly: ‘Good night!’ and moved quickly away.
* * * * *
When the time for
parting came Pearl
was inconsolable. Not knowing any reason why The Man should not do as she
wished she was persistent in her petitions to Harold that he should come with
her, and to her father and mother that they should induce him to do so. Mrs.
Stonehouse would have wished him to join them if only for a time. Her husband,
unable to give any hint without betraying confidence, had to content himself
with trying to appease his little daughter by vague hopes rather than promises
that her friend would join them at some other time.
When the Scoriac
was warped at the pier there was a tendency on the part of the passengers to
give Harold a sort of public send-off; but becoming aware of it he hurried down
the gangway without waiting. Having only hand luggage, for he was to get his
equipment in New York,
he had cleared and passed the ring of customs officers before the most
expeditious of the other passengers had collected their baggage. He had said
good-bye to the Stonehouses in their own cabin. Pearl had been so much affected at saying
good-bye, and his heart had so warmed to her, that at last he had said
impulsively:
‘Don’t cry,
darling. If I am spared I shall come back to you within three years. Perhaps I
will write before then; but there are not many post-offices where I am going
to!’
Children are
easily satisfied. Their trust makes a promise a real thing; and its acceptance
is the beginning of satisfaction. But for weeks after the parting she had often
fits of deep depression, and at such times her tears always flowed. She took
note of the date, and there was never a day that she did not think of and sigh
for The Man.
And The Man,
away in the wilds of Alaska,
was feeling, day by day and hour by hour, the chastening and purifying
influences of the wilderness. Hot passions cooled before the breath of the
snowfield and the glacier. The moaning of a tortured spirit was lost in the
roar of the avalanche and the scream of the cyclone. Pale sorrow and cold
despair were warmed and quickened by the fierce sunlight which came suddenly
and stayed only long enough to vitalise all nature.
And as the first
step to understanding, The Man forgot himself.
Two years!
Not much to look
back upon, but a world to look forward to. To Stephen, dowered though she was
with rare personal gifts and with wealth and position accorded to but few, the
hours of waiting were longer than the years that were past. Yet the time had
new and startling incidents for her. Towards Christmas in the second year the
Boer war had reached its climax of evil. As the news of disaster after disaster
was flashed through the cable she like others felt appalled at the sacrifices
that were being exacted by the God of War.
One day she
casually read in The Times that the Earl de Lannoy had died in his London mansion, and
further learned that he had never recovered from the shock of hearing that his
two sons and his nephew had been killed. The paragraph concluded: “By his death
the title passes to a distant relative. The new Lord de Lannoy is at present in
India
with his regiment, the 35th or ‘Grey’ Hussars, of which he is Colonel.” She
gave the matter a more than passing thought, for it was sad to find a whole
family thus wiped out at a blow.
Early in
February she received a telegram from her London
solicitor saying that he wished to see her on an important matter. Her answer
was: “Come at once”; and at tea-time Mr. Copleston arrived. He was an old
friend and she greeted him warmly. She was a little chilled when he answered
with what seemed unusual deference:
‘I thank your
Ladyship for your kindness!’ She raised her eyebrows but made no comment: she
was learning to be silent under surprise. When she had handed the old gentleman
his tea she said:
‘My aunt has
chosen to remain away, thinking that you might wish to see me privately. But I
take it that there is nothing which she may not share. I have no secrets from
her.’
He rubbed his
hands genially as he replied:
‘Not at all; not at all! I should like her to be present. It will, I am
sure, be a delight to us all.’
Again raised
eyebrows; again silence on the subject. When a servant answered her bell she
told him to ask Miss Rowly if she would kindly join them.
Aunt Laetitia
and the solicitor were old cronies, and their greeting was most friendly. When the
old gentlewoman had seated herself and taken her cup of tea, Mr. Copleston said
to Stephen, with a sort of pomposity:
‘I have to
announce your succession to the Earldom de Lannoy!’
Stephen sat
quite still. She knew the news was true; Mr. Copleston was not one who would
jest on a business subject, and too accurate a lawyer to make an error in a
matter of fact. But the fact did not seem to touch her. It was not that she was
indifferent to it; few women could hear such news without a thrill. Mr.
Copleston seemed at a loss. Miss Rowly rose and quietly kissed her, and saying
simply, ‘God bless you, my dear!’ went back to her seat.
Realising that
Mr. Copleston expected some acknowledgment, Stephen
held out her hand to him and said quietly:
‘Thank you!’
After a long
pause she added quietly:
‘Now, won’t you
tell us about it? I am in absolute ignorance; and don’t understand.’
‘I had better
not burden you, at first, with too many details, which can come later; but give
you a rough survey of the situation.’
‘Your title of
Countess de Lannoy comes to you through your ancestor Isobel, third and
youngest daughter of the sixth Earl; Messrs Collinbrae and Jackson, knowing
that my firm acted for your family, communicated with us. Lest there should be
any error we followed most carefully every descendant and every branch of the
family, for we thought it best not to communicate with you till your right of
inheritance was beyond dispute. We arrived independently at the same result as
Messrs. Collinbrae and Jackson. There is absolutely no doubt whatever of your
claim. You will petition the Crown, and on reference to the House of Lords the
Committee for Privileges will admit your right. May I offer my congratulations,
Lady de Lannoy on your acquisition? By the way, I may say that all the estates
of the Earldom, which have been from the first kept in strict entail, go with
the title de Lannoy.’
During the
recital Stephen was conscious of a sort of bitter comment on the tendencies of
good fortune.
‘Too late! too late!’ something seemed to whisper, ‘what
delight it would have been had Father inherited . . . If Harold had not gone .
. . !’ All the natural joy seemed to vanish, as bubbles break into empty air.
To Aunt Laetitia
the new title was a source of pride and joy, far greater than would have been
the case had it come to herself. She had for so many years longed for new
honours for Stephen that she had almost come to regard them as a right whose
coming should not be too long delayed. Miss Rowly had never been to Lannoy;
and, indeed, she knew personally nothing of the county Angleshire
in which it was situated. She was naturally anxious to see the new domain; but
kept her feeling concealed during the months that elapsed until Stephen’s right
had been conceded by the Committee for Privileges. But after that her
impatience became manifest to Stephen, who said one day in a teasing, caressing
way, as was sometimes her wont:
‘Why, Auntie,
what a hurry you are in! Lannoy will keep, won’t it?’
‘Oh, my dear,’
she replied, shaking her head, ‘I can understand your own reticence, for you
don’t want to seem greedy and in a hurry about your new possessions. But when
people come to my age there’s no time to waste. I feel I would not have
complete material for happiness in the World-to-come, if there were not a
remembrance of my darling in her new home!’
Stephen was much
touched; she said impulsively:
‘We shall go
to-morrow, Auntie. No! Let us go to-day. You shall not wait an hour that I can
help!’ She ran to the bell; but before her hand was on the cord the other said:
‘Not yet! Stephen dear. It would flurry me to start all at once;
to-morrow will be time enough. And that will give you time to send word so that
they will be prepared for your coming.’
How often do we
look for that to-morrow which never comes? How often do we find that its
looked-for rosy tints are none other than the gloom-laden grey of the present?
Before the
morrow’s sun was high in the heavens Stephen was hurriedly summoned to her
aunt’s bedside. She lay calm and peaceful; but one side of her face was alive
and the other seemingly dead. In the night a paralytic stroke had seized her.
The doctors said she might in time recover a little, but she would never be her
old active self again. She herself, with much painful effort, managed to convey
to Stephen that she knew the end was near. Stephen, knowing the wish of her
heart and thinking that it might do her good to gratify her wish, asked if she
should arrange that she be brought to Lannoy. Feebly and slowly, word by word,
she managed to convey her idea.
‘Not now, dear
one. I shall see it all in time!—Soon! And I shall understand and rejoice!’ For
a long time she lay still, holding with her right hand, which was not
paralysed, the other’s hand. Then she murmured:
‘You will find
happiness there!’ She said no more; but seemed to sleep.
From that sleep
she never woke, but faded slowly, softly away.
Stephen was
broken-hearted. Now, indeed, she felt alone and desolate. All were gone.
Father, uncle, aunt!—And Harold. The kingdoms of the Earth which lay at her
feet were of no account. One hour of the dead or departed, any of them, back
again were worth them all!
Normanstand was
now too utterly lonely to be endurable; so Stephen determined to go, for a time
at any rate, to Lannoy. She was becoming accustomed to be called ‘my lady’ and
‘your ladyship,’ and the new loneness made her feel better prepared to take her
place amongst new surroundings.
In addition,
there was another spur to her going. Leonard Everard, knowing of her absolute
loneliness, and feeling that in it was a possibility of renewing his old
status, was beginning to make himself apparent. He had
learned by experience a certain wisdom, and did not
put himself forward obtrusively. But whenever they met he looked at her so
meekly and so lovingly that it brought remembrances which came with blushes.
So, all at once, without giving time for the news to permeate through the
neighbourhood, she took her way to Lannoy with a few servants.
Stephen’s life
had hitherto been spent inland. She had of course now and again been for short
periods to various places; but the wonder of the sea as a constant companion
had been practically unknown to her.
Now at her new
home its full splendour burst upon her; and so impressed itself upon her that
new life seemed to open.
Lannoy was on
the north-eastern coast, the castle standing at the base of a wide promontory
stretching far into the North Sea. From the
coast the land sloped upward to a great rolling ridge. The outlook seaward was
over a mighty expanse of green sward, dotted here and there with woods and
isolated clumps of trees which grew fewer and smaller as the rigour of the
northern sea was borne upon them by the easterly gales.
The coast was a
wild and lonely one. No habitation other than an isolated fisher’s cottage was
to be seen between the little fishing-port at the northern curve away to the
south, where beyond a waste of sandhills and strand another tiny
fishing-village nestled under a high cliff, sheltering it from northerly wind.
For centuries the lords of Lannoy had kept their magnificent prospect to
themselves; and though they had treated their farmers and cottagers well, none
had ever been allowed to settle in the great park to seaward of the castle.
From the terrace
of the castle only than one building, other than the cottage on the headland, could be seen. Far off on the very crest of the
ridge was the tower of an old windmill.
When it was
known that Lady de Lannoy had come to Lannoy there was a prompt rush of such callers
as the county afforded. Stephen, however, did not wish to see anyone just at
present. Partly to avoid the chance meeting with strangers,
and partly because she enjoyed and benefited by the exercise, she was much away
from home every day. Sometimes, attended only by a groom, she rode long
distances north or south along the coast; or up over the ridge behind the
castle and far inland along the shaded roads through the woods; or over bleak
wind-swept stretches of moorland. Sometimes she would walk, all alone, far down
to the sea-road, and would sit for hours on the shore or high up on some little
rocky headland where she could enjoy the luxury of solitude.
Now and again in
her journeyings she made friends, most of them humble ones. She was so great a
lady in her station that she could be familiar without seeming to condescend.
The fishermen of the little ports to north and south came to know her, and to
look gladly for her coming. Their goodwives had for her always a willing curtsy
and a ready smile. As for the children, they looked on her with admiration and
love, tempered with awe. She was so gentle with them, so ready to share their
pleasures and interests, that after a while they came to regard her as some
strange embodiment of Fairydom and Dreamland. Many a little heart was made glad
by the arrival of some item of delight from the Castle; and the hearts of the
sick seemed never to hope, or their eyes to look, in vain.
One friend she
made who became very dear and of great import. Often she had looked up at the
old windmill on the crest of the ridge and wondered who inhabited it; for that
some one lived in it, or close by, was shown at times by the drifting smoke.
One day she made up her mind to go and see for herself. She had a fancy not to
ask anyone about it. The place was a little item of mystery; and as such to be
treasured and exploited, and in due course explored. The mill itself was
picturesque, and the detail at closer acquaintance sustained the far-off
impression. The roadway forked on the near side of the mill, reuniting again
the further side, so that the place made a sort of island—mill, out-offices and
garden. As the mill was on the very top of the ridge the garden which lay
seawards was sheltered by the building from the west, and from the east by a
thick hedge of thorn and privet, which quite hid it from the roadway. Stephen
took the lower road. Finding no entrance save a locked wooden door she followed
round to the western side, where the business side of the mill had been. It was
all still now and silent, and that it had long fallen into disuse was shown by
the grey faded look of everything. Grass, green and luxuriant, grew untrodden
between the cobble-stones with which the yard was paved. There was a sort of
old-world quietude about everything which greatly appealed to Stephen.
Stephen
dismounted and walked round the yard admiring everything. She did not feel as
if intruding; for the gateway was wide open.
A low door in
the base of the mill tower opened, and a maid appeared, a demure pretty little
thing of sixteen or seventeen years, dressed in a prim strait dress and an
old-fashioned Puritan cap. Seeing a stranger, she made an ejaculation and drew
back hastily. Stephen called out to her:
‘Don’t be
afraid, little girl! Will you kindly tell me who lives here?’ The answer came
with some hesitation:
‘Sister Ruth.’
‘And who is
Sister Ruth?’ The question came instinctively and without premeditation. The
maid, embarrassed, held hard to the half-open door and shifted from foot to
foot uneasily.
‘I don’t know!’
she said at last. ‘Only Sister Ruth, I suppose!’ It was manifest that the
matter had never afforded her anything in the nature of a problem. There was an
embarrassing silence. Stephen did not wish to seem, or even to be, prying; but
her curiosity was aroused. What manner of woman was this who lived so
manifestly alone, and who had but a Christian name! Stephen, however, had all
her life been accustomed to dominance, and at Normanstand and Norwood had made many acquaintances amongst
her poorer neighbours. She was just about to ask if she might see Sister Ruth,
when behind the maid in the dark of the low passage-way appeared the tall, slim
figure of a silver woman. Truly a silver woman! The first flash of Stephen’s
thought was correct. White-haired, white-faced, white-capped,
white-kerchiefed; in a plain-cut dress of light-grey silk, without adornment of
any kind. The whole ensemble was as a piece of old silver. The lines of
her face were very dignified, very sweet, very
beautiful. Stephen felt at once that she was in the presence of no common
woman. She looked an admiration which all her Quaker garments could not forbid
the other to feel. She was not the first to speak; in such a noble presence the
dignity of Stephen’s youth imperatively demanded silence, if not humility. So
she waited. The Silver Lady, for so Stephen ever after held her in her mind,
said quietly, but with manifest welcome:
‘Didst thou wish
to see me? Wilt thou come in?’ Stephen answered frankly:
‘I should like
to come in; if you will not think me rude. The fact is,
I was struck when riding by with the beautiful situation of the mill. I thought
it was only an old mill till I saw the garden hedges; and I came round to ask
if I might go in.’ The Silver Lady came forward at a pace that by itself
expressed warmth as she said heartily:
‘Indeed thou mayest. Stay! it is tea-time. Let
us put thy horse in one of the sheds; there is no man here at present to do it.
Then thou shalt come with me and see my beautiful view!’ She was about to take
the horse herself, but Stephen forestalled her with a quick: ‘No, no! pray let me. I am quite accustomed.’ She led the horse to a shed, and having looped the rein over a hook, patted him and
ran back. The Silver Lady gave her a hand, and they entered the dark passage
together.
Stephen was
thinking if she ought to begin by telling her name. But the Haroun al Raschid
feeling for adventure incognito is an innate principle of the sons of men. It
was seldom indeed that her life had afforded her such an opportunity.
The Silver Lady
on her own part also wished for silence, as she looked for the effect on her
companion when the glory of the view should break upon her. When they had
climbed the winding stone stair, which led up some twenty feet, there was a low
wide landing with the remains of the main shaft of the mill machinery running
through it. From one side rose a stone stair curving
with the outer wall of the mill tower and guarded by a heavy iron rail. A dozen
steps there were, and then a landing a couple of yards square; then a deep
doorway cut in the thickness of the wall, round which the winding stair
continued.
The Silver Lady,
who had led the way, threw open the door, and motioned to her guest to enter.
Stephen stood for a few moments, surprised as well as delighted, for the room
before her as not like anything which she had ever seen or thought of.
It was a section
of almost the whole tower, and was of considerable size, for the machinery and
even the inner shaft had been removed. East and south and west the wall had
been partially cut away so that great wide windows nearly the full height of
the room showed the magnificent panorama. In the depths of the ample windows
were little cloistered nooks where one might with a feeling of super-solitude
be away from and above the world.
The room was beautifully furnished and everywhere were flowers,
with leaves and sprays and branches where possible.
Even from where
she stood in the doorway Stephen had a bird’s-eye view of the whole
countryside; not only of the coast, with which she was already familiar, and on
which her windows at the Castle looked, but to the south and west, which the
hill rising steep behind the castle and to southward shut out.
The Silver Lady
could not but notice her guest’s genuine admiration.
‘Thou likest my room and my view. There is no use asking thee, I see thou
dost!’ Stephen answered with a little gasp.
‘I think it is
the quaintest and most beautiful place I have ever seen!’
‘I am so glad
thou likest it. I have lived here for nearly forty years; and they have been
years of unutterable peace and earthly happiness! And now, thou wilt have some
tea!’
Stephen left the
mill that afternoon with a warmth of heart that she had been a stranger to for
many a day. The two women had accepted each other simply. ‘I am called Ruth,’
said the Silver Lady. ‘And I am Stephen,’ said the Countess de Lannoy in reply.
And that was all; neither had any clue to the other’s identity. Stephen felt
that some story lay behind that calm, sweet personality; much sorrow goes to
the making of fearless quietude. The Quaker lady moved so little out of her own
environment that she did not even suspect the identity of her visitor. All that
she knew of change was a notice from the solicitor to the estate that, as the
headship had lapsed into another branch of the possessing family, she must be
prepared, if necessary, to vacate her tenancy, which was one ‘at will.’
It was not long
before Stephen availed herself of the permission to
come again. This time she made up her mind to tell who she was, lest the
concealment of her identity might lead to awkwardness. At that meeting
friendship became union.
The natures of
the two women expanded to each other; and after a very few meetings there was
established between them a rare confidence. Even the personal austerity of
Quakerdom, or the state and estate of the peeress, could not come between.
Their friendship seemed to be for the life of one. To the other it would be a
memory.
The Silver Lady
never left the chosen routine of her own life. Whatever was the reason of her
giving up the world, she kept it to herself; and Stephen respected her
reticence as much as she did her confidence.
It had become a
habit, early in their friendship, for Stephen to ride or walk over to the
windmill in the dusk of the evening when she felt especially lonely. On one
such occasion she pushed open the outer door, which was never shut, and took
her way up the stone stair. She knew she would find her friend seated in the
window with hands folded on lap, looking out into the silent dusk with that
absorbed understanding of things which is holier than reverence, and
spiritually more active than conscious prayer.
She tapped the
door lightly, and stepped into the room.
With a glad
exclamation, which coming through her habitual sedateness showed how much she
loved the young girl, Sister Ruth started to her feet. There was something of
such truth in the note she had sounded, that the lonely girl’s heart went out
to her in abandoned fulness. She held out her arms; and, as she came close to
the other, fell rather than sank at her feet. The elder woman recognised, and
knew. She made no effort to restrain her; but sinking back into her own seat
laid the girl’s head in her lap, and held her hands close against her breast.
‘Tell me,’ she
whispered. ‘Won’t you tell me, dear child, what troubles you? Tell me! dear. It may bring peace!’
‘Oh, I am
miserable, miserable, miserable!’ moaned Stephen in a low voice whose despair
made the other’s heart grow cold. The Silver Lady knew that here golden silence
was the best of help; holding close the other’s hands, she waited. Stephen’s
breast began to heave; with an impulsive motion she drew away her hands and put
them before her burning face, which she pressed lower still on the other’s lap.
Sister Ruth knew that the trouble, whatever it was, was about to find a voice.
And then came in a low shuddering whisper a voice muffled in the folds of the
dress:
‘I killed a
man!’
In all her life
the Silver Lady had never been so startled or so shocked. She had grown so to
love the bright, brilliant young girl that the whispered confession cut through
the silence of the dusk as a shriek of murder goes through the silent gloom of
night. Her hands flew wide from her breast, and the convulsive shudder which
shook her all in an instant woke Stephen through all her own deep emotion to
the instinct of protection of the other. The girl looked up, shaking her head,
and said with a sadness which stilled all the other’s fear:
‘Ah! Don’t be
frightened! It is not murder that I tell you of. Perhaps if it were, the
thought would be easier to bear! He would have been hurt less if it had been
only his body that I slew. Well I know now that his life would have been freely
given if I wished it; if it had been for my good. But it was the best of him
that I killed; his soul. His noble, loving, trusting,
unselfish soul. The bravest and truest soul that ever had place in a
man’s breast! . . . ’ Her speaking ended with a sob; her body sank lower.
Sister Ruth’s
heart began to beat more freely. She understood now, and all the womanhood, all
the wifehood, motherhood suppressed for a lifetime, awoke to the woman’s need.
Gently she stroked the beautiful head that lay so meekly on her lap; and as the
girl sobbed with but little appearance of abatement, she said to her softly:
‘Tell me, dear
child. Tell me all about it! See! we are alone
together. Thou and I; and God! In God’s dusk; with only the silent land and sea
before us! Won’t thou trust me, dear one, and speak!’
And then, as the
shadows fell, and far-off lights at sea began to twinkle over the waste of
waters, Stephen found voice and told without reserve the secret of her shame
and her remorse.
At last, when her broken voice had trailed away into gentle catchings of
the breath, the older woman, knowing that the time come for comfort, took her
in her strong arms, holding her face wet against her own, their tears mingling.
‘Cry on, dear
heart!’ she said as she kissed her. ‘Cry on! It will do thee good!’ She was
startled once again as the other seemed for an instant to grow rigid in her
arms, and raising her hands cried out in a burst of almost hysterical passion:
‘Cry! cry! Oh my God! my
God!’ Then becoming conscious of her wet face she seemed to become in an
instant all limp, and sank on her knees again. There was so different a note in
her voice that the other’s heart leaped as she heard her say:
‘God be thanked
for these tears! Oh, thank God! Thank God!’ Looking up she saw through the
gloom the surprise in her companion’s eyes and answered their query in words:
‘Oh! you don’t know! You can’t know what it is to me! I have not
cried since last I saw him pass from me in the wood!’
* * * * *
That time of
confession seemed to have in some way cleared, purified and satisfied Stephen’s
soul. Life was now easier to bear. She was able to adapt herself, justifiably
to the needs of her position; and all around her and dependent on her began to
realise that amongst them was a controlling force, far-reaching sympathy, and a
dominant resolution that made for good.
She began to
shake off the gloom of her sorrows and to take her place in her new high
station. Friends there were in many, and quondam lovers by the score. Lovers of all sorts. Fortune-hunters there were be sure, not
a few. But no need was there for baseness when the lady herself was so
desirable; so young, so fair, so lovable. That she was of great estate and
‘richly left’ made all things possible to any man who had sufficient
acquisitiveness, or a good conceit of himself. In a wide circle of country were
many true-lovers who would have done aught to win her praise.
And so in the
East the passing of the two years of silence and gloom seemed to be the winning
of something brighter to follow.
In the West the
two years flew. Time seemed to go faster there, because life was more
strenuous. Harold, being mainly alone, found endless work always before him.
From daylight to dark labour never ceased; and for his own part he never wished
that it should. In the wilderness, and especially under such conditions as held
in Northern Alaska, labour is not merely
mechanical. Every hour of the day is fraught with danger in some new form, and
the head has to play its part in the strife against nature. In such a life
there is not much time for thinking or brooding.
At first, when
the work and his surroundings were strange to him, Harold did many useless
things and ran many unnecessary risks. But his knowledge grew with experience.
Privations he had in plenty; and all the fibre of his body and the strength of
his resolution and endurance were now and again taxed to their utmost. But with
a man of his nature and race the breaking strain is high; and endurance and
resolution are qualities which develop with practice.
Gradually his mind
came back to normal level; he had won seemingly through the pain that shadowed
him. Without anguish he could now think, remember, look forward. Then it was
that the kindly wisdom of the American came back to him, and came to stay. He
began to examine himself as to his own part of the unhappy transaction; and
stray moments of wonderment came as to whether the fault may not, at the very
base, have his own. He began to realise that it is insufficient in this
strenuous world to watch and wait; to suppress one’s self; to put aside, in the
wish to benefit others, all the hopes, ambitions, cravings which make for
personal gain.
Thus it was that
Harold’s thoughts, ever circling round Stephen, came back with increasing
insistence to his duty towards her. He often thought, and with a bitter feeling
against himself that it came too late, of the dying trust of her father:
‘Guard her and
cherish her, as if you were indeed my son and she your sister . . . If it
should be that you and Stephen should find that there is another
affection between you remember I sanction it. But give her time! I trust
that to you! She is young, and the world is all before her. Let her choose . .
. And be loyal to her, if it is another! It may be a hard task; but I trust
you, Harold!’
Here he would
groan, as all the anguish of the past would rush back upon him; and keenest of
all would be the fear, suspicion, thought which grew towards belief, that he
may have betrayed that trust. . . .
At first the
side of this memory personal to his own happiness was faintly emphasised; the
important side was of the duty to Stephen. But as time went on the other
thought became a sort of corollary; a timid, halting, blushing thought which
followed sheepishly, borne down by trembling hope. No matter what adventure
came to him, the thought of neglected duty returned ever afresh. Once, when he
lay sick for weeks in an Indian wigwam, the idea so grew with each day of the
monotony, that when he was able to crawl out by himself into the sunshine he
had almost made up his mind to start back for home.
Luck is a
strange thing. It seems in some mysterious way to be the divine machinery for
adjusting averages. Whatever may be the measure of happiness or unhappiness,
good or evil, allotted to anyone, luck is the cause or means of
counter-balancing so that the main result reaches the standard set.
From the time of
Harold’s illness Dame Fortune seemed to change her attitude to him. The fierce
frown, nay! the malignant scowl, to which he had
become accustomed, changed to a smile. Hitherto everything seemed to have gone
wrong with him; but now all at once all seemed to go right. He grew strong and
hardy again. Indeed, he seemed by contrast to his late helplessness to be so
strong and hard that it looked as if that very illness had done him good
instead of harm. Game was plentiful, and he never seemed to want. Everywhere he
went there were traces of gold, as though by some instinct he was tracking it
to its home. He did not value gold for its own sake; but he did for the ardour of
the search. Harold was essentially a man, and as a man an adventurer. To such a
man of such a race adventure is the very salt of existence.
The adventurer’s
instinct took with it the adventurer’s judgment; Harold was not content with
small results. Amidst the vast primeval forces there were, he felt, vast
results of their prehistoric working; and he determined to find some of them.
In such a quest, purpose is much. It was hardly any wonder, then, that in time
Harold found himself alone in the midst of one of the
great treasure-places of the world. Only labour was needed to take from the
earth riches beyond the dreams of avarice. But that labour was no easy problem;
great and difficult distance had to be overcome; secrecy must be observed, for
even a whisper of the existence of such a place would bring a horde of
desperadoes. But all these difficulties were at least sources of interest, if
not in themselves pleasures. The new Harold, seemingly
freshly created by a year of danger and strenuous toil, of self-examining and
humiliation, of the realisation of duty, and—though he knew it not as yet—of
the dawning of hope, found delight in the thought of dangers and difficulties
to be overcome. Having taken his bearings exactly so as to be safe in finding
the place again, he took his specimens with him and set out to find the
shortest and best route to the nearest port.
At length he
came to the port and set quietly about finding men. This he did very carefully
and very systematically. Finally, with the full complement, and with ample
supply of stores, he started on his expedition to the new goldfields.
It is not
purposed to set out here the extraordinary growth of Robinson City,
for thus the mining camp soon became. Its history has long ago been told for all the world. In the early days, when everything had to be
organised and protected, Harold worked like a giant, and with a system and
energy which from the first established him as a master. But when the second
year of his exile was coming to a close, and Robinson City
was teeming with life and commerce, when banks and police and soldiers made
life and property comparatively safe, he began to be restless again. This was
not the life to which he had set himself. He had gone into the wilderness to be
away from cities and from men; and here a city had sprung up around him and men
claimed him as their chief. Moreover, with the restless feeling there began to
come back to him the old thoughts and the old pain.
But he felt
strong enough by this time to look forward in life as well as backward. With
him now to think was to act; so much at least he had gained from his position
of dominance in an upspringing city. He quietly consolidated such outlying
interests as he had, placed the management of his great estate in the hands of
a man he had learned to trust, and giving out that he was going to San Francisco to arrange some business, left Robinson City. He had already accumulated such a
fortune that the world was before him in any way he might choose to take.
Knowing that at San Francisco, to which he had booked, he would have to
run the gauntlet of certain of his friends and business connections, he made
haste to leave the ship quietly at Portland,
the first point she touched on her southern journey. Thence he got on the
Canadian Pacific Line and took his way to Montreal.
What most
arrested his attention, and in a very disconcerting way, were the glimpses of
English life one sees reproduced so faithfully here and there in Canada. The
whole of the past rushed back on him so overpoweringly that he was for the
moment unnerved. The acute feeling of course soon became mitigated; but it was
the beginning of a re-realisation of what had been, and which grew stronger
with each mile as the train swept back eastward.
At first he
tried to fight it; tried with all the resources of his strong nature. His mind
was made up, he assured himself over and over again. The past was past, and
what had been was no more to him than to any of the other passengers of the
train. Destiny had long ago fulfilled itself. Stephen no doubt had by now found
some one worthy of her and had married. In no dream, sleeping or waking, could
he ever admit that she had married Leonard; that was the only gleam of comfort
in what had grown to be remorse for his neglected duty.
And so it was
that Harold An Wolf slowly drifted, though he knew it not, into something of
the same intellectual position which had dominated him when he had started on
his journeying and the sunset fell nightly on his despairing face. The life in
the wilderness, and then in the dominance and masterdom of enterprise, had
hardened and strengthened him into more self-reliant manhood, giving him
greater forbearance and a more practical view of things.
When he took
ship in the Dominion, a large cargo-boat with some passengers running to London, he had a vague
purpose of visiting in secret Norcester, whence he could manage to find out how
matters were at Normanstand. He would then, he felt, be in a better position to
regulate his further movements. He knew that he had already a sufficient
disguise in his great beard. He had nothing to fear from the tracing of him on
his journey from Alaska
or the interest of his fellow-passengers. He had all along been so fortunate as
to be able to keep his identity concealed. The name John Robinson told nothing
in itself, and the width of a whole great continent lay between him and the
place of his fame. He was able to take his part freely amongst both the
passengers and the officers. Even amongst the crew he soon came to be known;
the men liked his geniality, and instinctively respected his enormous strength
and his manifest force of character. Men who work and who know danger soon
learn to recognise the forces which overcome both. And as sufficient time had
not elapsed to impair his hardihood or lower his vast strength he was facile
princeps. And so the crew acknowledged him; to them he was a born Captain whom
to obey would be a natural duty.
After some days
the weather changed. The great ship, which usually rested even-keeled on two
waves, and whose bilge keels under normal conditions rendered rolling
impossible, began to pitch and roll like a leviathan at play. The decks, swept
by gigantic seas, were injured wherever was anything to injure. Bulwarks were
torn away as though they had been compact of paper. More than once the double
doors at the head of the companion stairs had been driven in. The bull’s eye
glasses of some of the ports were beaten from their brazen sockets. Nearly all
the boats had been wrecked, broken or torn from their cranes as the great ship
rolled heavily in the trough, or giant waves had struck her till she quivered
like a frightened horse.
At that season
she sailed on the far northern course. Driven still farther north by the gales,
she came within a short way of south of Greenland.
Then avoiding Moville, which should have been her place of call, she ran down
the east of Britain,
the wild weather still prevailing.
On the coast of Angleshire the weather in the early days of September had
been stormy. With the south-west wind had come deluges
of rain, not a common thing for the time of year on the east coast. Stephen,
whose spirits always rose with high wind, was in a condition of prolonged
excitement. She could not keep still; every day she rode long distances, and
found a wonderful satisfaction in facing the strong winds. Like a true
horsewoman she did not mind the wet, and had glorious gallops over the grassy
ridge and down the slopes on the farther side, out on the open road or through
the endless grass rides amid the pine woods.
On the Tuesday
morning the storm was in full sweep, and Stephen was in wild spirits. Nothing
would do her but to go out on the tower of the castle where she could walk
about, and leaning on the crenellated parapet look over all
the coast stretching far in front and sweeping away to the left and
right. The prospect so enchanted her, and the fierce
sweep of the wind so suited her exalted mood, that she remained there all the
morning. The whole coast was a mass of leaping foam and flying spray, and far
away to the horizon white-topped waves rolled endlessly. That day she did not
even ride out, but contented herself with watching the sea and the storm from
the tower. After lunch she went to her tower again; and again after tea. The
storm was now furious. She made up her mind that after dinner she would ride
down and see its happenings close at hand.
When she had
finished dinner she went to her room to dress for her ride. The rush and roar
of the storm were in her ears, and she was in wild tumultuous spirits. All her
youth seemed to sweep back on her; or perhaps it was that the sickness of the
last two years was swept away. Somewhere deep down in Stephen’s heart, below
her intention or even her consciousness, was a desire to be her old self if
only for an hour. And to this end externals were of help. Without weighing the
matter in her mind, and acting entirely on impulse, she told her maid to get
the red habit she had not worn for years. When she was dressed she sent round
to have out her white Arab; while it was getting ready she went once more to
the tower to see the storm-effect in the darkening twilight. As she looked, her
heart for an instant stood still. Half-way to the horizon a great ship, ablaze
in the bows, was driving through the waves with all her speed. She was heading
towards the little port, beyond which the shallows sent up a moving wall of
white spray.
Stephen tore
down the turret stair, and gave hurried directions to have beds prepared in a
number of rooms, fires everywhere, and plenty of provisions. She also ordered
that carriages should be sent at once to the fishing port with clothing and
restoratives. There would, she felt, be need for such help before a time to be
measured by minutes should have passed; and as some of her servants were as yet
strange to her ways she did not leave anything to chance. One carriage was to
go for the doctor who lived at Lannoy, the village over the hill, whence
nothing could be seen of what was happening. She knew that others within sight
or hailing would be already on their way. Work was afoot, and had she time, or
thought of it, she would have chosen a more sedate garb. But in the excitement
no thought of herself came to her.
In a few seconds
she was in the saddle, tearing at full speed down the road that led to the
port. The wind was blowing so strongly in her face that only in the lulls could
she hear the hoof-strokes of the groom’s horse galloping behind her.
At first the
height of the road allowed her to see the ship and the port towards which she
was making. But presently the road dipped, and the curving of the hill shut
both from her sight; it was only when she came close that she could see either
again.
Now the great
ship was close at hand. The flames had gained terribly, and it was a race for
life or death. There was no time do more than run her aground if life was to be
saved at all. The captain, who in the gaps of the smoke could be seen upon the
bridge, knew his work well. As he came near the shoal he ran a little north,
and then turned sharply so as to throw the boat’s head to the south of the
shoal. Thus the wind would drive fire and smoke forward and leave the after
part of the vessel free for a time.
The shock of her
striking the sand was terrific, though the tinkle of the bell borne in on the
gale showed that the engines had been slowed down. The funnels were shaken
down, and the masts broke off, falling forward. A wild shriek from a hundred
throats cleft the roaring of wind and wave. The mast fell, the foremast, with
all its cumbering top-hamper on the bridge, which was in an instant blotted out
of existence, together with the little band of gallant men who stood on it,
true to their last duty. As the wind took the smoke south a man was seen to
climb on the wreck of the mast aft and make fast the end of a great coil of
rope which he carried. He was a huge man with a full dark beard. Two sailors
working with furious haste helped him with the rope. The waves kept raising the
ship a little, each time bumping her on the sand with a shock. The people on
deck held frantically to the wreckage around them.
Then the bearded
man, stripping to his waist and cutting off his trousers above the knee,
fastened an end of the rope round his waist. The sailors stood ready one behind
the other to pay it out. As a great wave rolled under the ship, he threw
himself into the sea.
In the meantime
the coastguard had fixed Board of Trade rocket-apparatus, and in a few seconds
the prolonged roar of a rocket was heard. It flew straight towards the ship,
rising at a high angle so as to fall beyond it. But the force of the wind took
it up as it rose, and the gale increased so that it rose nearly vertically; and
in this position the wind threw it south of its objective, and short of it. Another
rocket was got ready at once, and blue lights were burned so that the course of
the venturous swimmer might be noted. He swam strongly; but the great weight of
the rope behind kept pulling him back, and the southern trend of the tide
current and the force of the wind kept dragging him from the pier. Within the
bar the waves were much less than without; but they were still so unruly that
no boat in the harbour—which was not a lifeboat station—could venture out.
Indeed, in the teeth of the storm it would have been a physical impossibility
to have driven one seaward.
As the gathered
crowd saw Stephen approach they made way for her. She had left her horse with
the groom, and despite the drenching spray fought a way against the wind out on
the pier. As in the glare of the blue light, which brought many things into
harsh unnatural perspective, she caught sight of the set face of the swimmer
rising and falling with the waves, her heart leaped. This was indeed a man! a brave man; and all the woman in her went out to him. For
him, and to aid him and his work, she would have given everything, done
anything; and in her heart, which beat in an ecstasy of anxiety, she prayed
with that desperate conviction of hope which comes in such moments of
exaltation.
But it soon became
apparent that no landing could be effected. The force
of the current and the wind were taking the man too far southward for him ever
to win a way back. Then one of coastguards took the lead-topped cane which they
use for throwing practice, and, after carefully coiling the line attached it so
that it would run free, managed with a desperate effort to fling it far out.
The swimmer, to whom it fell close, fought towards it frantically; and as the
cord began to run through the water, managed to grasp it. A wild cheer rose
from the shore and the ship. A stout line was fastened to the shore end of the
cord, and the swimmer drew it out to him. He bent it on the rope which trailed
behind him; then, seeing that he was himself a drag on it, with the knife which
he drew from the sheath at the back of his waist, he cut himself free. One of
the coastguards on the pier, helped by a host of willing hands, began drawing
the end of the rope on shore. The swimmer still held the line thrown to him,
and several men on the pier began to draw on it. Unhappily the thin cord broke
under the strain, and within a few seconds the swimmer had drifted out of
possible help. Seeing that only wild rocks lay south of the sea-wall,
and that on them seas beat furiously, he turned and made out for sea. In the
light beyond the glare he could see vaguely the shore bending away to the west
in a deep curve of unbroken white leaping foam. There was no hope of landing
there. To the south was the headland, perhaps two miles away as the crow flies.
Here was the only chance for him. If he could round the headland, he might find
shelter beyond; or somewhere along the farther shore some opening might present
itself. Whilst the light from the blue fires still reached him he turned and
made for the headland.
In the meantime
on ship and on shore men worked desperately. Before long the end of the hawser
was carried round on the high cliff, and pulled as taut as the force at hand
could manage, and made fast. Soon endless ropes were bringing in passengers and
crew as fast as place could be found for them. It became simply a race for
time. If the fire, working against the wind, did not reach the hawser, and if
the ship lasted the furious bumping on the sandbank, which threatened to shake
her to pieces each moment, all on board might yet be saved.
Stephen’s
concern was now for the swimmer alone. Such a gallant soul should not perish
without help, if help could be on this side of heaven. She asked the
harbour-master, an old fisherman who knew every inch of the coast for miles, if
anything could be done. He shook his head sadly as he answered:
‘I fear no, my
lady. The lifeboat from Granport is up north, no boat from here could get
outside the harbour. There’s never a spot in the bay where he could land, even
in a less troubled sea than this. Wi’ the wind ashore, there’s no hope for ship
or man here that cannot round the point. And a stranger is no like to do that.’
‘Why not?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘Because, my
lady, there’s a wheen o’ sunken rocks beyond the Head. No one that didn’t know
would ever think to keep out beyond them, for the cliff itself goes down sheer.
He’s a gallant soul yon; an’ it’s a sore pity he’s goin’ to his death. But it
must be! God can save him if He wishes; but I fear none other!’
Even as he spoke
rose to Stephen’s mind a memory of an old churchyard with great trees and the
scent of many flowers, and a child’s voice that sounded harsh through the
monotonous hum of bees:
‘To be God, and able to do things!’
Oh; to be God,
if but an hour; and able to do things! To do anything to help a brave man! A
wild prayer surged up in the girl’s heart:
‘Oh! God, give
me this man’s life! Give it to me to atone for the other I destroyed! Let me
but help him, and do with me as Thou wilt!’
The passion of
her prayer seemed to help her, and her brain cleared. Surely something could be
done! She would do what she could; but first she must understand the situation.
She turned again to the old harbour-master:
‘How long would
it take him to reach the headland, if he can swim so far?’ The answer came with
a settled conviction bearing hope with it:
‘The wind and
tide are wi’ him, an’ he’s a strong swimmer. Perhaps half an hour will take him
there. He’s all right in himself. He can swim it, sure. But alack! it’s when he gets there his trouble will be, when none can
warn him. Look how the waves are lashing the cliff; and mark the white water
beyond! What voice can sound to him out in those deeps? How could he see if
even one were there to warn?’
Here was a hope
at any rate. Light and sound were the factors of safety. Some good might be effected if she could get a trumpet; and there were trumpets
in the rocket-cart. Light could be had—must be had if all the fences round the
headland had to be gathered for a bonfire! There was not a moment to be lost.
She ran to the rocket-cart, and got a trumpet from the man in charge. Then she
ran to where she had left her horse. She had plenty of escort, for by this time
many gentlemen had arrived on horseback from outlying distances, and all
offered their services. She thanked them and said:
‘You may be
useful here. When all these are ashore send on the
rocket-cart, and come yourselves to the headland as quick as you can.
Tell the coastguards that all those saved are to be taken to the castle. In the
rocket-cart bring pitch and tar and oil, and anything that will flame. Stay!’
she cried to the chief boatman. ‘Give me some blue lights!’ His answer chilled
her:
‘I’m sorry, my
lady, but they are all used. There are the last of them burning now. We have
burned them ever since that man began to swim ashore.’
‘Then hurry on
the rocket-cart!’ she said as she sprang to the saddle, and swept out on the
rough track that ran by the cliffs, following in bold curves the windings of
the shore. The white Arab seemed to know that his speed was making for life. As
he swept along, far outdistancing the groom, Stephen’s heart went out in silent
words which seemed to keep time to the gallop:
‘Oh, to be God, and be able to do things! Give me this man’s life,
oh, God! Give me this man’s life, to atone for that noble one which I
destroyed!’
Faster and
faster, over rough road, cattle track, and grassy sward; over rising and
falling ground; now and again so close to the edge of the high cliff that the
spume swept up the gulleys in the rocks like a snowstorm, the white Arab swept
round the curve of the bay, and came out on the high headland where stood the
fisher’s house. On the very brink of the cliff all the fisher folk, men, women
and children, stood looking at the far-off burning ship, from which the flames
rose in leaping columns.
So intent were
all on the cliff that they did not notice her coming; as the roar of the wind
came from them to her, they could not hear her voice when she spoke from a
distance. She had drawn quite close, having dismounted and hung her rein over
the post of the garden paling, when one of the children saw her, and cried out:
‘The lady! the lady! an’ she’s
all in red!’ The men were so intent on something that they did not seem to
hear. They were peering out to the north, and were arguing in dumb show as
though on something regarding which they did not agree. She drew closer, and
touching the old fisherman on the shoulder, called out at his ear:
‘What is it?’ He
answered without turning, keeping his eyes fixed:
‘I say it’s a
man swimmin’. Joe and Garge here say as it’s only a piece o’ wood or sea-wrack.
But I know I’m right. That’s a man swimmin’, or my old eyes have lost their
power!’ His words carried conviction; the seed of hope in her beating heart
grew on the instant into certainty.
‘It is a man. I
saw him swim off towards here when he had taken the rope on shore. Do not turn
round. Keep your eyes on him so that you may not lose sight of him in the
darkness!’ The old man chuckled.
‘This darkness! Hee! hee! There be no differ
to me between light and dark. But I’ll watch him! It’s you, my lady! I shan’t
turn round to do my reverence as you tell me to watch. But, poor soul, it’ll
not be for long to watch. The Skyres will have him, sure enow!’
‘We can warn
him!’ she said, ‘when he comes close enough. I have a trumpet here!’ He shook
his head sorrowfully:
‘Ah! my lady, what trumpet could sound against that storm an’
from this height?’ Stephen’s heart sank. But there was still hope. If the
swimmer’s ears could not be reached, his eyes might. Eagerly she looked back
for the coming of the rocket-cart. Far off across the deep bay she could see
its lamp sway as it passed over the rough ground; but alas! it
would never arrive in time. With a note of despair in her voice she asked:
‘How long before
he reaches the rocks?’ Still without turning the old man answered:
‘At the rate
he’s going he will be in the sweep of the current through the rocks within
three minutes. If he’s to be saved he must turn seaward ere the stream grips
him.’
‘Would there be
time to build a bonfire?’
‘No, no! my lady. The wood couldn’t catch in the time!’
For an instant a
black film of despair seemed to fall on her. The surging of the blood in her
head made her dizzy, and once again the prayer of the old memory rang in her
brain:
‘Oh to be God, and able to do things!’
On the instant
an inspiration flashed through her. She, too could do
things in a humble way. She could do something at any rate. If there was no
time to build a fire, there was a fire already built.
The house would
burn!
The two feet
deep of old thatch held down with nets and battened with wreck timber would
flare like a beacon. Forthwith she spoke:
‘Good people,
this noble man who has saved a whole shipload of others must not die without an
effort. There must be light so that he can see our warning to pass beyond the
rocks! The only light can be from the house. I buy it of you. It is mine; but I
shall pay you for it and build you such another as you never thought of. But it
must be fired at once. You have one minute to clear out all you want. In, quick
and take all can. Quick! quick! for
God’s sake! It is for a brave man’s life!’
The men and
women without a word rushed into the house. They too knew the danger, and the
only hope there was for a life. The assurance of the Countess took the sting
from the present loss. Before the minute, which she timed watch in hand, was
over, all came forth bearing armloads of their lares and penates. Then one of
the younger men ran in again and out bearing a flaming stick from the fire.
Stephen nodded, he held it to the northern edge of the
thatch. The straw caught in a flash and the flame ran up the slope and along
the edge of the roof like a quick match. The squeaking of many rats was heard
and their brown bodies streamed over the roof. Before another minute had passed
a great mass of flame towered into the sky and shed a red light far out over
the waste of sea.
It lit up the
wilderness of white water where the sea churned savagely amongst the sunken
rocks; and it lit too the white face of a swimmer, now nearly spent, who rising
and falling with each wave, drifted in the sea whose current bore him on
towards the fatal rocks.
When the swimmer
saw the light he looked up; even at the distance they could see the lift of his
face; but he did not seem to realise that there was any intention in the
lighting, or that it was created for his benefit. He was manifestly spent with
his tremendous exertions, and with his long heavy swim in the turbulent sea.
Stephen’s heart went out to him in a wave of infinite pity. She tried to use
the trumpet. But simple as it is, a trumpet needs skill or at least practice in
its use; she could only make an unintelligible sound, and not much even of
that. One of the young men said:
‘Let me try it,
my lady!’ She handed him the trumpet and he in turn used with a will. But it
was of no avail; even his strong lungs and lusty manhood availed nothing in the
teeth of that furious gale. The roof and the whole house was
now well alight, and the flame roared and leapt. Stephen began to make gestures
bidding the swimmer, in case he might see her and understand, move round the
rocks. But he made no change in his direction, and was fast approaching a point
in the tide-race whence to avoid the sunken rocks would be an impossibility.
The old whaler, accustomed to use all his wits in times of difficulty, said
suddenly:
‘How can he
understand when we’re all between him and the light.
We are only black shadows to him; all he can see are waving arms!’ His sons
caught his meaning and were already dashing towards the burning house. They
came back with piles of blazing wood and threw them down on the very edge of
the cliff; brought more and piled them up, flinging heaps of straw on the
bonfire and pouring on oil and pitch till the flames rose high. Stephen saw
what was necessary and stood out of the way, but close to the old whaler, where
the light fell on both of their faces as they looked in the direction of the
swimmer. Stephen’s red dress itself stood out like a flame. The gale tearing up
the front of the cliff had whirled away her hat; in the stress of the wind her
hair was torn from its up-pinning and flew wide, itself like leaping flame.
Her gestures as
she swept her right arm round, as though demonstrating the outward curve of a
circle, or raising the hand above her head motioned with wide palm and spread
fingers ‘back! back!’ seemed to have reached the
swimmer’s intelligence. He half rose in the water and looked about. As if
seeing something that he realised, he sank back again and began swim
frantically out to sea. A great throb of joy made Stephen almost faint. At last
she had been able to do something to help this gallant man. In half a minute his
efforts seemed to tell in his race for life. He drew sufficiently far from
dangerous current for there to be a hope that he might be saved if he could
last out the stress to come.
The fishermen
kept watch in silent eagerness; and in their presence Stephen felt a comfort,
though, like her, they could do nothing at present.
When the swimmer
had passed sufficiently far out to be clear of the rocks, the fire began to
lose its flame, though not its intensity. It would be fiery still for hours to
come, and of great heat; but the flames ceased to leap, and in the moderated
light Stephen only saw the white face for one more instant ere it faded out of
her ken, when, turning, the man looked towards the light and made a gesture
which she did not understand: for he put for an instant both hands before his
face.
Just then there
was a wild noise on the cliff. The rocket-cart drawn by sixteen splendid
horses, some of them hunters, came tearing up the
slope, and with it many men on horseback afoot. Many of the runners were the
gentlemen who had given their horses for the good work.
As the
coastguards jumped from the cart, and began to get out the rocket stand, the
old whaler pointed out the direction where the swimmer’s head could still be
seen. Some of the sailors could see it too; though to Stephen and the laymen it
was invisible. The chief boatman shook his head:
‘No use throwing
a line there! Even if he got it we could never drag him alive through these
rocks. He would be pounded to death before twenty fathom!’ Stephen’s heart grew
cold as she listened. Was this the end? Then with a bitter cry she wailed:
‘Oh! can nothing be done? Can nothing be done? Can no boat come
from the other side of the point? Must such a brave man be lost!’ and her tears
began to flow.
One of the young
men who had just arrived, a neighbouring squire, a proved wastrel but a fine
horseman, who had already regarded Stephen at the few occasions of their
meeting with eyes of manifest admiration, spoke up:
‘Don’t cry, Lady
de Lannoy. There’s a chance for him yet. I’ll see what I can do.’
‘Bless you! oh! bless you!’ she cried
impulsively as she caught his hand. Then came the
chill of doubt. ‘But what can you do?’ she added despairingly.
‘Hector and I
may be able to do something together.’ Turning to one of the fishermen he
asked:
‘Is there any
way down to the water in the shelter of the point?’
‘Ay! ay! sir,’ came the ready answer.
‘There’s the path as we get down by to our boats.’
‘Come on, then!’
he said. ‘Some of you chaps show us a light on the way down. If Hector can
manage the scramble there’s a chance. You see,’ he said, turning again to
Stephen, ‘Hector can swim like a fish. When he was a racer I trained him in the
sea so that none of the touts could spy out his form. Many’s the swim we’ve had
together; and in rough water too, though in none so
wild as this!’
‘But it is a
desperate chance for you!’ said Stephen, woman-like drawing somewhat back from
a danger she had herself evoked. The young man laughed lightly:
‘What of that! I
may do one good thing before I die. That fine fellow’s life is worth a hundred
of my wasted one! Here! some of you fellows help me
with Hector. We must take him from the cart and get a girth on him instead of
the saddle. We shall want something to hold on to without pulling his head down
by using the bridle.’
He, followed by
some others, ran to the rocket-cart where the horses stood panting, their steam
rising in a white cloud in the glow of the burning house. In an incredibly
short time the horse was ready with only the girth. The young squire took him
by the mane and he followed eagerly; he had memories of his own. As they passed
close to Stephen the squire said to one of his friends:
‘Hold him a
minute, Jack!’ He ran over to Stephen and looked at her hard:
‘Good-bye! Wish me
luck; and give us light!’ Tears were in her eyes and a flush on her cheek as
she took his hand and clasped it hard:
‘Oh, you brave
man! God bless you!’ He stooped suddenly and impulsively kissed the back of her
hand lightly and was gone. For a fleeting moment she was angry. No man had
kissed her hand before; but the thought of his liberty was swept away by
another:
‘Little enough when he may be going to his death!’
It was a sight
to see that man and horse, surrounded by an eager crowd of helpers, scrambling
down the rough zigzag, cut and worn in the very face of the cliff. They
stumbled, and slipped; pebbles and broken rock fell away under their feet.
Alone close to the bonfire stood Stephen, following every movement with racing
blood and beating heart. The bonfire was glowing; a constant stream of men and
women were dragging and hauling all sorts of material for its increase. The
head of the swimmer could be seen, rising and falling amid the waves beyond the
Skyres.
When about
twenty feet from the water-level the path jutted out to one side left of the
little beach whereon the sea now broke fiercely. This was a place where men
watched, and whence at times they fished with rods; the broad rock overhung the
water. The fire above, though it threw shadows, made light enough for
everything. The squire held up his hand.
‘Stop! We can take off this rock, if the water is deep enough. How much is it?’
‘Ten fathoms
sheer.’
‘Good!’ He
motioned to them all to keep back. Then threw off all his
clothes except shirt and trousers. For an instant he patted Hector and
then sprang upon his back. Holding him by the mane he urged him forward with a
cry. The noble animal did not hesitate an instant. He
knew that grasp of the mane; that cry; that dig of the spurless heels. He sprang
forward with wide dilated nostrils, and from the edge of the jutting rock
jumped far out into the sea. Man and horse disappeared for a few seconds, but
rose safely. The man slid from the horse’s back; and, holding by the girth with
one hand, swam beside him out to sea in the direction the swimmer must come on
rounding the sunken rocks.
A wild cheer
broke from all on the cliff above and those already scrambling back up the
zigzag. Stephen kept encouraging the men to bring fuel to the bonfire:
‘Bring everything
you can find; the carts, the palings, the roofs, the corn, the dried fish;
anything and everything that will burn. We must have light; plenty of light!
Two brave men’s lives are at stake now!’
The whole place
was a scene of activity. Stephen stood on the edge of the cliff with the old
whaler and the chief boatman and some of the women. The rest of the coastguards
were by orders of their chief rigging up a whip which they thought might be
necessary to hoist the men up from the water, if they could ever get close
enough. One of the young men who had ridden with the rocket-cart kept tight
hold of Hector’s bridle; he knew it would be wanted if the horse ever had a
chance of landing.
* * * * *
When Harold
turned away from the dazzling blue lights on the pier, and saw the far white
line of the cliffs beyond the bay, his heart sank within him. Even his great
strength and hardihood, won by work and privation in the far North-West, had
been already taxed in the many days of the battling with the gale when all on
board who could lend a hand were taken into service. Again by the frantic
struggle of the last hour or two, when the ship ran shoreward at the utmost of
her speed in the last hope of beaching in time to save life. Finally
in that grim struggle to draw the life-line shoreward. The cold and then
the great heat, and on top of it the chill of the long swim, seemed to have
struck at him. Alone on the dark sea, for soon the current and his own
exertions were taking him away from the rocks, the light of the burning ship
was ceasing to be effective. It was just enough to hinder his vision; looking
from the patch of light which bathed the light and him he could just see far
off the white water which marked the cliff fronts, and on the edge of his
horizon the grim moving white wall where the waves broke on the headland.
On and on he
toiled. His limbs were becoming more cramped with the cold and the terrible
strain of swimming in such waves. But still the brave heart bore him up; and
resolutely, sternly he forced himself afresh to the effort before him. He
reasoned that where there was such a headland standing out so stark into the
sea there ought to be some shelter in its lee. If he could pass it he might
find calmer water and even a landing-place beyond.
Here at least
was hope. He would try to round the point at any rate. Now he drew so close
that the great rocks seemed to tower vast above him. He was not yet close
enough to feel as though lapped in their shadow; but even the overcast sky
seemed full of light above the line of the cliff. There was a strange roaring,
rushing sound around him. He thought that it was not merely the waves dashing
on the rocks, but that partly it came from his own ears; that his ebbing
strength was feeling the frantic struggle which he was making. The end was
coming, he thought; but still he kept valiantly on, set and silent, as is the
way with brave men.
Suddenly from
the top of the cliff a bright light flashed. He looked at it sideways as he
fought his way on, and saw the light rise and fall and flicker as the flames
leaped. High over him he saw fantastic figures which seemed to dance on the
edge of the high cliff. They had evidently noticed him, and were making signals
of some sort; but what the motions were he could not see or understand, for
they were but dark silhouettes, edged with light, against the background of
fire. The only thing he could think was that they meant to encourage him, and
so he urged himself to further effort. It might be that help was at hand!
Several times as
he turned his head sideways he saw the figures and the light, but not so
clearly; it was as though the light was lessening in power. When again he
looked he saw a new fire leap out on the edge of the cliff, and some figures to
the right of it. They were signalling in some way. So, pausing in his swimming,
he rose a little from the water and looked at them.
A thrill shot
through him, and a paralysing thought that he must have gone mad. With his wet
hand he cleared his eyes, though the touching them pained him terribly, and for
an instant saw clearly:
There on the
edge of the cliff, standing beside some men and waving her arms in a wild sweep
as though motioning frantically ‘Keep out! keep out!’
was a woman. Instinctively he glanced to his left and saw a white waste of
leaping water, through which sharp rocks rose like monstrous teeth. On the
instant he saw the danger, and made out seaward, swimming frantically to clear
the dangerous spot before the current would sweep him upon the rocks.
But the woman!
As one remembers the last sight when the lightning has banished sight, so that
vision seemed burned into his brain. A woman with a scarlet riding-habit and
masses of long red hair blowing in the gale like leaping flame! Could there be
two such persons in the world? No! no! It was a
vision! A vision of the woman he loved, come to save him in the direst moment
of great peril!
His heart beat
with new hope; only the blackness of the stormy sea was before him as he strove
frantically on.
Presently when
he felt the current slacken, for he had been swimming across it and could feel
its power, he turned and looked back. As he did so he murmured aloud:
‘A dream! A vision! She came to warn me!’ For as he looked all had disappeared.
Cliff and coastline, dark rocks and leaping seas, blazing fire, and the warning
vision of the woman he loved.
Again he looked
where the waste of sea churning amongst the sunken rocks had been. He could
hear the roaring of waters, the thunder of great waves beating on the
iron-bound coast; but nothing could he see. He was alone on the wild sea; in
the dark.
Then truly the
swift shadow of despair fell upon him.
‘Blind Blind!’
he moaned, and for the moment, stricken with despair, sank into the trough of
the waves. But the instinctive desire for life recalled him. Once more he
fought his way up to the surface, and swam blindly, desperately on. Seeing
nothing, he did not know which way he was going. He might have heard better had
his eyes been able to help his ears; but in the sudden strange darkness all the
senses were astray. In the agony of his mind he could not even feel the pain of
his burnt face; the torture of his eyes had passed. But with the instinct of a
strong man he kept on swimming blindly, desperately.
* * * * *
It seemed as if
ages of untold agony had gone by, when he heard a voice seemingly beside him:
‘Lay hold here!
Catch the girth!’ The voice came muffled by wind and wave. His strength was now
nearly at its last.
The shock of his
blindness and the agony of the moments that had passed had finished his
exhaustion. But a little longer and he must have sunk into his rest. But the
voice and the help it promised rallied him for a moment. He had hardly strength
to speak, but he managed to gasp out:
‘Where? where? Help me! I am blind!’ A hand took his and
guided it to a tightened girth. Instinctively his fingers closed round it, and
he hung on grimly. His senses were going fast. He felt as if it was all a
strange dream. A voice here in the sea! A girth! A horse; he could hear its
hard breathing.
The voice came
again.
‘Steady! Hold
on! My God! he’s fainted! I must tie him on!’ He heard
a tearing sound, and something was wound round his wrists. Then his nerveless
fingers relaxed their hold; and all passed into oblivion.
To Stephen all
that now happened seemed like a dream. She saw Hector and his gallant young
master forge across the smoother water of the current whose boisterous stream
had been somewhat stilled in the churning amongst the rocks, and then go north
in the direction of the swimmer who, strange to say, was drifting in again
towards the sunken rocks. Then she saw the swimmer’s head sink under the water;
and her heart grew cold. Was this to be the end! Was such a brave man to be
lost after such gallant effort as he had made, and just at the moment when help
was at hand!
The few seconds
seemed ages. Instinctively she shut her eyes and prayed again. ‘Oh! God. Give me this man’s life that I may atone!’
God seemed to
have heard her prayer. Nay, more! He had mercifully allowed her to be the means
of averting great danger. She would never, could never, forget the look on the
man’s face when he saw, by the flame that she had kindled, ahead of him the
danger from the sunken rocks. She had exulted at the thought. And now . . .
She was recalled
by a wild cheer beside her. Opening her eyes she saw that the man’s head had
risen again from the water. He was swimming furiously, this time seaward. But
close at hand were the heads of the swimming horse and man . . . She saw the
young squire seize the man . . .
And then the
rush of her tears blinded her. When she could see again the
horse had turned and was making back again to the shelter of the point.
The squire had his arm stretched across the horse’s back; he was holding up the
sailor’s head, which seemed to roll helplessly with every motion of the
cumbering sea.
For a little she
thought he was dead, but the voice of the old whaler reassured her:
‘He was just in
time! The poor chap was done!’ And so with beating heart and eyes that did not
flinch now she watched the slow progress to the shelter of the point. The
coastguards and fishermen had made up their minds where the landing could be
made, and were ready; on the rocky shelf, whence Hector had at jumped, they
stood by with lines. When the squire had steered and encouraged the horse,
whose snorting could be heard from the sheltered water, till he was just below
the rocks, they lowered a noosed rope. This he fastened round the senseless man
below his shoulders. One strong, careful pull, and he
was safe on land; and soon was being borne up the steep zigzag on the shoulders
of the willing crowd.
In the meantime
other ropes were passed down to the squire. One he placed round his own waist;
two others he fastened one on each side of the horse’s girth. Then his friend
lowered the bridle, and he managed to put it on the horse and attached a rope
to it. The fishermen took the lines, and, paying out as they went so as to
leave plenty of slack line, got on the rocks just above the little beach whereon,
sheltered though it was, the seas broke heavily. There they waited, ready to
pull the horse through the surf when he should have come close enough.
Stephen did not
see the rescue of the horse; for just then a tall grave man spoke to her:
‘Pardon me, Lady
de Lannoy, but is the man to be brought up to the Castle? I am told you have
given orders that all the rescued shall be taken there.’ She answered
unhesitatingly:
‘Certainly! I gave orders before coming out that preparation was to be made for
them.’
‘I am Mr.
Hilton. I have just come down to do lacum tenens for Dr. Winter at Lannoch Port. I rode over on hearing there was a
wreck, and came here with the rocket-cart. I shall take charge of the man and
bring him up. He will doubtless want some special care.’
‘If you will be
so good!’ she answered, feeling a diffidence which was new to her. At that
moment the crowd carrying the senseless man began to appear over the cliff,
coming up the zig-zag. The Doctor hurried towards him; she followed at a little
distance, fearing lest she should hamper him. Under his orders they laid the
patient on the weather side of the bonfire so that the smoke would not reach
him. The Doctor knelt by his side.
An instant after
he looked up and said:
‘He is alive;
his heart is beating, though faintly. He had better be taken away at once.
There is no means here of shelter.’
‘Bring him in
the rocket-cart; it is the only conveyance here,’ cried Stephen. ‘And bring Mr.
Hepburn too. He also will need some care after his gallant service. I shall
ride on and advise my household of your coming. And you good people come all to
the Castle. You are to be my guests if you will so honour me. No! No! Really I
should prefer to ride alone!’
She said this
impulsively, seeing that several of the gentlemen were running for their horses
to accompany her. ‘I shall not wait to thank that valiant young gentleman. I
shall see him at Lannoy.’
As she was
speaking she had taken the bridle of her horse. One of the young men stooped
and held his hand; she bowed, put her foot in it and sprang to the saddle. In
an instant she was flying across country at full speed, in the dark. A wild
mood was on her, reaction from the prolonged agony of apprehension. There was
little which she would not have done just then.
The gale
whistled round her and now and again she shouted with pure joy. It seemed as if
God Himself had answered her prayer and given her the returning life!
By the time she
had reached the Castle the wild ride had done its soothing work. She was calm
again, comparatively; her wits and feelings were her own.
There was plenty
to keep her occupied, mind and body. The train of persons
saved from the wreck were arriving in all sorts of vehicles, and as
clothes had to be found for them as well as food and shelter there was no end
to the exertions necessary. She felt as though the world were not wide enough
for the welcome she wished to extend. Its exercise was a sort of reward of her
exertions; a thank-offering for the response to her prayer. She moved amongst
her guests, forgetful of herself; of her strange attire; of the state of
dishevelment and grime in which she was, the result of
the storm, her long ride over rough ground with its share of marshes and pools,
and the smoke from the bonfire and the blazing house. The strangers wondered at
first, till they came to understand that she was the Lady Bountiful who had
stretched her helpful hands to them. Those who could,
made themselves useful with the new batches of arrivals. The whole Castle was
lit from cellar to tower. The kitchens were making lordly provision,
the servants were carrying piles of clothes of all sorts, and helping to fit
those who came still wet from their passage through or over the heavy sea.
In the general
disposition of chambers Stephen ordered to be set apart for the rescued swimmer
the Royal Chamber where Queen Elizabeth had lain; and for Mr. Hepburn that
which had been occupied by the Second George. She had a sort of idea that the
stranger was God’s guest who was coming to her house; and that nothing could be
too good for him. As she waited for his coming, even though she swept to and
fro in her ministrations to others, she felt as though she trod on air. Some
great weight seemed to have been removed from her. Her soul was free again!
At last the
rocket-cart arrived, and with it many horsemen and such men and women as could
run across country with equal speed to the horses labouring by the longer road.
The rescued man
was still senseless, but that alone did not seem to cause anxiety to the
Doctor, who hurried him at once into the prepared room. When, assisted by some
of the other men, he had undressed him, rubbed him down and put him to bed, and
had seen some of the others who had been rescued from the wreck, he sought out
Lady de Lannoy. He told her that his anxiety was for the man’s sight; an
announcement which blanched his hearer’s cheeks. She had so made up her mind as
to his perfect safety that the knowledge of any kind of ill came like a cruel
shock. She questioned Mr. Hilton closely; so closely that he thought it well to
tell her at once all that he surmised and feared:
‘That fine young
fellow who swam out with his horse to him, tells me that when he neared him he
cried out that he was blind. I have made some inquiries from those on the ship,
and they tell me that he was a passenger, named Robinson. Not only was he not
blind then, but he was the strongest and most alert man on the ship. If it be
blindness it must have come on during that long swim. It may be that before
leaving the ship he received some special injury—indeed he has several cuts and
burns and bruises—and that the irritation of the sea-water increased it. I can
do nothing till he wakes. At present he is in such a
state that nothing can be done for him. Later I shall if necessary give him a
hypodermic to ensure sleep. In the morning when I come again I shall examine
him fully.’
‘But you are not
going away to-night!’ said Stephen in dismay. ‘Can’t you manage to stay here?
Indeed you must! Look at all these people, some of whom may need special
attention or perhaps treatment. We do not know yet if any may be injured.’ He
answered at once:
‘Of course I
shall stay if you wish it. But there are two other doctors here already. I must
go over to my own place to get some necessary instruments for the examination
of this special patient. But that I can do in the early morning.’
‘Can I not send
for what you want; the whole household are at your
service. All that can be done for that gallant man must be done. You can send
to London for
special help if you wish. If that man is blind, or in danger of blindness, we
must have the best oculist in the world for him.’
‘All shall be
done that is possible,’ said he earnestly. ‘But till I examine him in the
morning we can do nothing. I am myself an oculist; that is my department in St.
Stephen’s Hospital. I have an idea of what is wrong, but I cannot diagnose
exactly until I can use the ophthalmoscope.’ His words gave Stephen confidence.
Laying her hand on his arm unconsciously in the extremity of pity she said
earnestly:
‘Oh, do what you
can for him. He must be a noble creature; and all that is possible must be
done. I shall never rest happily if through any failing on my part he suffers
as you fear.’
‘I shall do all
I can,’ he said with equal earnestness, touched with her eager pity. ‘And I
shall not trust myself alone, if any other can be of service. Depend upon it,
Lady de Lannoy, all shall be as you wish.’
There was little
sleep in the Castle that night till late. Mr. Hilton slept on a sofa in the
Queen’s Room after he had administered a narcotic to his patient.
As soon as the
eastern sky began to quicken, he rode, as he had arranged during the evening,
to Dr. Winter’s house at Lannoch
Port where he was
staying. After selecting such instruments and drugs as he required, he came
back in the dogcart.
It was still
early morning when he regained the Castle. He found Lady de Lannoy up and
looking anxiously for him. Her concern was somewhat abated when he was able to
tell her that his patient still slept.
It was a painful
scene for Mr. Hilton when his patient woke. Fortunately some of the
after-effects of the narcotic remained, for his despair at realising that he
was blind was terrible. It was not that he was violent; to be so under his
present circumstances would have been foreign to Harold’s nature. But there was
a despair which was infinitely more sad to witness
than passion. He simply moaned to himself:
‘Blind! Blind!’
and again in every phase of horrified amazement, as though he could not realise
the truth: ‘Blind! Blind!’ The Doctor laid his hand on his breast and said very
gently:
‘My poor fellow,
it is a dreadful thing to face, to think of. But as yet I have not been able to
come to any conclusion; unable even to examine you. I do not wish to encourage
hopes that may be false, but there are cases when injury is not vital and
perhaps only temporary. In such case your best chance, indeed your only chance,
is to keep quiet. You must not even think if possible of anything that may
excite you. I am now about to examine you with the ophthalmoscope. You are a
man; none of us who saw your splendid feat last night can doubt your pluck. Now
I want you to use some of it to help us both. You, for your
recovery, if such is possible; me, to help me in my work. I have asked
some of your late companions who tell me that on shipboard you were not only
well and of good sight, but that you were remarkable even amongst strong men.
Whatever it is you suffer from must have come on quickly. Tell me all you can
remember of it.’
The Doctor
listened attentively whilst Harold told all he could remember of his
sufferings. When he spoke of the return of old rheumatic pains his hearer said
involuntarily: ‘Good!’ Harold paused; but went on at once. The Doctor
recognised that he had rightly appraised his remark, and by it judged that he
was a well-educated man. Something in the method of speaking struck him, and he
said, as nonchalantly as he could:
‘By the way,
which was your University?’
‘Cambridge. Trinity.’ He spoke without thinking, and the instant he had
done so stopped. The sense of his blindness rushed back on him. He could not
see; and his ears were not yet trained to take the place of his eyes. He must
guard himself. Thenceforward he was so cautious in his replies that Mr. Hilton
felt convinced there was some purpose in his reticence. He therefore stopped
asking questions, and began to examine him. He was unable to come to much
result; his opinion was shown in his report to Lady de Lannoy:
‘I am unable to
say anything definite as yet. The case is a most interesting one; as a case and
quite apart from the splendid fellow who is the subject of it. I have hopes
that within a few days I may be able to know more. I need not trouble you with
surgical terms; but later on if the diagnosis supports the supposition at
present in my mind I shall be able to speak more fully. In the meantime I
shall, with your permission, wait here so that I may watch him myself.’
‘Oh you are
good. Thank you! Thank you!’ said Stephen. She had so taken the man under her
own care that she was grateful for any kindness shown to him.
‘Not at all,’
said Mr. Hilton. ‘Any man who behaved as that fellow did has
a claim on any of us who may help him. No time of mine could be better spent.’
When he went
back to the patient’s room he entered softly, for he thought he might be
asleep. The room was, according to his instructions, quite dark, and as it was
unfamiliar to him he felt his way cautiously. Harold, however, heard the small
noise he made and said quietly:
‘Who is there?’
‘It is I;
Hilton.’
‘Are you alone?’
‘Yes.’
‘Look round the
room and see. Then lock the door and come and talk to me if you will. You will
pity a poor blind fellow, I know. The darkness has come down upon me so quickly
that I am not accustomed to it!’ There was a break in his voice which moved the
other. He lit a candle, feeling that the doing so would impress his patient,
and went round the room; not with catlike movement this time—he
wanted the other to hear him. When he had turned the key in the lock, as sharply
as he could, he came to the bedside and sat down. Harold spoke again after a
short pause:
‘Is that candle
still lit?’
‘Yes! Would you
like it put out?’
‘If you don’t mind! Again I say pity me and pardon me. But I want to
ask you something privately, between our two selves; and I will feel more of
equality than if you were looking at me, whilst I cannot see you.’ Mr Hilton
blew out the candle.
‘There! We are
equal now.’
‘Thank you!’ A
long pause; then he went on:
‘When a man
becomes suddenly blind is there usually, or even occasionally, any sort of odd
sight? . . . Does he see anything like a dream, a vision?’
‘Not that I know of. I have never heard of such a case. As a rule people
struck blind by lightning, which is the most common cause, sometimes remember
with extraordinary accuracy the last thing they have seen. Just
as though it were photographed on the retina!’
‘Thank you! Is
such usually the recurrence of any old dream or anything they have much thought
of?’
‘Not that I know of. It would be unusual!’ Harold waited a long time
before he spoke again. When he did so it was in a different
voice; a constrained voice. The Doctor, accustomed to take enlightenment
from trivial details, noted it:
‘Now tell me,
Mr. Hilton, something about what has happened. Where am I?’
‘In Lannoy Castle.’
‘Where is it?’
‘In Angleshire!’
‘Who does it
belong to?’
‘Lady de Lannoy.
The Countess de Lannoy; they tell me she is a Countess in her own right.’
‘It is very good
of her to have me here. Is she an old lady?’
‘No! A young one. Young and very beautiful.’
After a pause before his query:
‘What’s she
like? Describe her to me!’
‘She is young, a
little over twenty. Tall and of a very fine figure.
She has eyes like black diamonds, and hair like a flame!’ For a long time
Harold remained still. Then he said:
‘Tell me all you
know or have learned of this whole affair. How was I rescued,
and by whom?’ So the Doctor proceeded to give him every detail he knew
of. When he was quite through, the other again lay still for a long time. The
silence was broken by a gentle tap at the door. The Doctor lit a candle. He
turned the key softly, so that no one would notice that the door was locked.
Something was said in a low whisper. Then the door was gently closed, and the
Doctor returning said:
‘Lady Lannoy
wants, if it will not disturb you, to ask how you are. Ordinarily I should not
let anyone see you. But she is not only your hostess, but, as I have just told
you, it was her ride to the headland, where she burned the house to give you
light, which was the beginning of your rescue. Still if you think it better not
. . . !’
‘I hardly like
anybody to see me like this!’ said Harold, feebly seeking an excuse.
‘My dear man,’
said the other, ‘you may be easy in your mind, she
won’t see much of you. You are all bandages and beard. She’ll have to wait a
while before she sees you.’
‘Didn’t she see
me last night?’
‘Not she! Whilst
we were trying to restore you she was rushing back to the Castle to see that
all was ready for you, and for the others from the wreck.’ This vaguely soothed
Harold.
If his surmise
was correct, and if she had not seen him then, it was well that he was bandaged
now. He felt that it would not do to refuse to let her see him; it might look
suspicious. So after pausing a short while he said in
a low voice:
‘I suppose she
had better come now. We must not keep her waiting!’ When the Doctor brought her
to his bedside Stephen felt in a measure awed. His bandaged face and head and
his great beard, singed in patches, looked to her in the dim light rather
awesome. In a very gentle voice she said kind things to the sick man, who
acknowledged them in a feeble whisper. The Doctor, a keen observer, noticed the
change in his voice, and determined to understand more. Stephen spoke of his bravery, and of how it was due to him that all on the ship
were saved; and as she spoke her emotion moved her so much that her sweet voice
shook and quivered. To the ears of the man who had now only sound to guide him,
it was music of the sweetest he had ever heard. Fearing lest his voice should
betray him, he whispered his own thanks feebly and in few words.
When Stephen
went away the Doctor went with her; it was more than an hour before he
returned. He found his patient in what he considered a state of suppressed excitement;
for, though his thoughts were manifestly collected and his words were calm, he
was restless and excited in other ways. He had evidently been thinking of his
own condition; for shortly after the Doctor came in he said:
‘Are we alone?’
‘Quite!’
‘I want you to
arrange that there shall not be any nurse with me.’
‘My dear sir! Don’t handicap me, and yourself, with such a restriction. It is for your
own good that you should have regular and constant attention.’
‘But I don’t
wish it. Not for the present at all events. I am not accustomed to a nurse, and
shall not feel comfortable. In a few days perhaps . . . ’
The decided tone of his voice struck the other. Keeping his own thoughts and
intentions in abeyance, even to himself, he answered heartily:
‘All right! I shall not have any nurse, at present.’
‘Thanks!’ There
was relief in the tone which seemed undue, and Mr.
Hilton again took mental note. Presently he asked a question, but in such a
tone that the Doctor pricked up his ears. There was a premeditated self-suppression,
a gravity of restraint, which implied some falsity; some intention other than
the words conveyed:
‘It must have
been a job to carry me up those stairs.’ The Doctor was
doubting everything, but as the safest attitude he stuck to literal truth
so far as his words conveyed it:
‘Yes. You are no
light weight!’ To himself he mused:
‘How did he know
there were stairs? He cannot know it; he was senseless! Therefore he must be
guessing or inquiring!’ Harold went on:
‘I suppose the
Castle is on high ground. Can you see far from the windows? I suppose we are up
a good height?’
‘From the
windows you can see all round the promontory. But we are not high up; that is,
the room is not high from the ground, though the Castle is from the sea.’
Harold asked again, his voice vibrating in the note of gladness:
‘Are we on the
ground floor then?’
‘Yes.’
‘And I suppose
the gardens are below us?’
‘Yes.’ The
answer was given quickly, for a thought was floating through him: Why did this
strong brave man, suddenly stricken blind, wish to know whether his windows
were at a height? He was not surprised when his patient reaching out a hand
rested it on his arm and said in an imploring tone:
‘It should be
moonlight; full moon two nights ago. Won’t you pull up the blind and describe
to me all you see? . . . Tell me fully . . . Remember, I am blind!’
This somehow
fixed the Doctor’s thought:
‘Suicide! But I must convey the inutility of such effort by inference, not
falsity.’
Accordingly he
began to describe the scene, from the very base of the wall, where below the
balcony the great border was glorious with a mass of foliage plants, away to
the distant sea, now bathed in the flood of moonlight. Harold asked question
after question; the Doctor replying accurately till he felt that the patient
was building up a concrete idea of his surroundings near and far. Then he left
him. He stood for a long time out in the passage thinking. He said to himself
as he moved away:
‘The poor fellow
has some grim intention in his mind. I must not let him know that I suspect;
but to-night I will watch without his knowing it!’
Mr. Hilton
telegraphed at once countermanding, for the present, the nurse for whom he had
sent.
That night, when
the household had all retired, he came quietly to his patient’s room, and
entering noiselessly, sat silent in a far corner. There was no artificial
right; the patient had to be kept in darkness. There was, however, a bright
moonlight; sufficient light stole in through the edges of the blinds to allow
him, when his eyes grew accustomed, to see what might happen.
Harold lay quite
still till the house was quiet. He had been thinking, ever since he had
ascertained the identity of Stephen. In his weakness and the paralysing despair
of his blindness all his former grief and apprehension had come
bank upon him in a great wave; veritably the tide of circumstances seemed to
run hard against him. He had had no idea of forcing himself upon Stephen; and
yet here he was a guest in her house, without her knowledge or his own. She had
saved his life by her energy and resource. Fortunately she did not as yet know
him; the bandages, and his act in suppressing his voice, had so far protected
him. But such could not last for long. He could not see to protect himself, and
take precautions as need arose. And he knew well that Stephen’s nature would
not allow her to be satisfied without doing all that was possible to help one
who had under her eyes made a great effort on behalf of others, and to whom
there was the added bond that his life was due to her. In but a little time she
must find out to whom she ministered.
What then would
happen? Her kindness was such that when she realised the blindness of her old
friend she might so pity him that out of the depths of her pity she would
forgive. She would take back all the past; and now that she knew of his old
love for her, would perhaps be willing to marry him. Back flooded the old
memory of her independence and her theory of sexual equality. If out of any
selfish or mistaken idea she did not hesitate to ask a man to marry her, would
it be likely that when the nobler and more heroic side of her nature spoke she
would hesitate to a similar act in pursuance of her self-sacrifice?
So it might be
that she would either find herself once again flouted,
or else married to a man she did not love.
Such a
catastrophe should not happen, whatever the cost to him. He would, blind as he
was, steal away in the night and take himself out of her life; this time for
ever. Better the ingratitude of an unknown man, the saving of whose life was
due to her, than the long dull routine of a spoiled life, which would otherwise
be her unhappy lot.
When once this
idea had taken root in his mind he had taken such steps as had been open to him
without endangering the secrecy of his motive. Thanks to his subtle questioning
of the Doctor, he now knew that his room was close to the ground, so that he
would easily drop from the window and steal away with out immediate danger of
any restraining accident. If he could once get away he would be all right.
There was a large sum to his credit in each of two London banks. He would manage somehow to find
his way to London;
even if he had to walk and beg his way.
He felt that now
in the silence of the night the time had come. Quietly he rose and felt his way
to the door, now and again stumbling and knocking against unknown obstacles in
the manner of the recently blind. After each such noise he paused and listened.
He felt as if the very walls had ears. When he reached the door he turned the
key softly. Then he breathed more freely. He felt that he was at last alone and
free to move without suspicion.
Then began a
great and arduous search; one that was infinitely difficult and exasperating;
and full of pathos to the sympathetic man who watched him in silence. Mr.
Hilton could not understand his movements as he felt his way about the room,
opening drawers and armoires, now and again stooping down and feeling along the
floor. He did not betray his presence, however, but moved noiselessly away as
the other approached. It was a hideously real game of blindman’s-buff, with
perhaps a life as the forfeit.
Harold went all
over the room, and at last sat down on the edge of his bed with a hollow
suppressed groan that was full of pain. He had found his clothes, but realised
that they were now but rags. He put on the clothes, and then for a long time
sat quiet, rocking gently to and fro as one in pain, a figure of infinite woe.
At last he roused himself. His mind was made up; the time for action had come.
He groped his way towards the window looking south. The Doctor, who had taken
off his shoes, followed him with catlike stealthiness.
He easily threw
open the window, for it was already partly open for ventilation.
When Mr. Hilton
saw him sit on the rail of the balcony and begin to raise his feet, getting
ready to drop over, he rushed forward and seized him. Harold instinctively
grappled with him; the habit of his Alaskan life amidst continual danger made
in such a case action swift as thought. Mr. Hilton, with the single desire to
prevent him from killing himself, threw himself backward and pulled Harold with
him to the stone floor.
Harold, as he
held him in a grip of iron, thundered out, forgetful in the excitement of the
moment the hushed voice to which he had limited himself:
‘What do you
want? who are you?’
‘H-s-s-sh! I am Mr. Hilton.’ Harold relaxed the rigour of his grasp but still held
him firmly:
‘How did you
come here? I locked my door!’
‘I have been in
the room a long time. I suspected something, and came to watch; to prevent your
rash act.’
‘Rash act! How?’
‘Why, man, if
you didn’t kill, you would at least cripple yourself.’
‘How can I
cripple myself when the flower-bed is only a few feet below?’
‘There are other
dangers for a man who—a man in your sad state. And, besides, have I no duty to
prevent a suicide!’ Here a brilliant idea struck Harold. This man had evidently
got some wrong impression; but it would serve to shield his real purpose. He
would therefore encourage it. For the moment, of course, his purpose to escape
unnoticed was foiled; but he would wait, and in due time seize another
opportunity. In a harder and more determined tone than he had yet used he said:
‘I don’t see
what right you have to interfere. I shall kill myself if I like.’
‘Not whilst you
are in my care!’ This was spoken with a resolution equal to his own. Then Mr.
Hilton went on, more softly and with infinite compassion: ‘Moreover, I want to
have a talk with you which may alter your views.’
Harold interrupted, still playing the game of hiding his real purpose:
‘I shall do as I
wish; as I intend.’
‘You are
injuring yourself even now by standing in the draught of that open window. Your
eyes will feel it before long . . . Are you mad . . . ?’
Harold felt a
prick like a pin in his neck; and turned to seize his companion. He could not
find him, and for a few moments stumbled through the dark, raging . . .
It seemed a long
time before he remembered anything. He had a sense of time lapsed; of dreamland
thoughts and visions. Then gradually recollection came back. He tried to move;
but found it impossible. His arms and legs were extended wide and were tied; he
could feel the cord hurting his wrists and ankles as he moved. To him it was
awful to be thus blind and helpless; and anger began to surge up. He heard the
voice of Mr. Hilton close by him speaking in a calm, grave, sympathetic tone:
‘My poor fellow,
I hated to take such a step; but it was really necessary for your own safety.
You are a man, and a brave one. Won’t you listen to me for a few minutes? When
you have heard what I have to say I shall release you. In the meantime I
apologise for the outrage, as I dare say you consider it!’ Harold was
reasonable; and he was now blind and helpless. Moreover, there was something in
the Doctor’s voice that carried a sense of power with it.
‘Go on! I shall
listen!’ He compelled himself to quietude. The Doctor saw, and realised that he
was master of himself. There were some snips of scissors, and he was free.
‘See! all I want is calm for a short time, and you have it. May I
go on?’
‘Go on!’ said
Harold, not without respect. The Doctor after a pause spoke:
‘My poor fellow,
I want you to understand that I wish to help you, to do all in my power to
restore to you that which you seem to have lost! I can sympathise with your
desire to quit life altogether now that the best part of it, sight, seems gone.
I do not pretend to judge the actions of my fellows; and if you determine to
carry out your purpose I shall not be able to prevent you for ever. I shall not
try to. But you certainly shall not do so till you know what I know! I had
wished to wait till I could be a little more certain before I took you into
confidence with regard to my guessing as to the future. But your desire to
destroy yourself forces my hand. Now let me tell you that there is a
possibility of the removal of the cause of your purpose.’
‘What do you
mean?’ gasped Harold. He was afraid to think outright and to the full what the
other’s words seemed to imply.
‘I mean,’ said
the other solemnly, ‘that there is a possibility, more than a possibility, that
you may recover your sight!’ As he spoke there was a little break in his voice.
He too was somewhat unnerved at the situation.
Harold lay
still. The whole universe seemed to sway, and then whirl round him in chaotic
mass. Through it at length he seemed to hear the calm voice:
‘At first I
could not be sure of my surmise, for when I used the ophthalmoscope your
suffering was too recent to disclose the cause I looked for. Now I am fairly
sure of it. What I have since heard from you has convinced me; your having
suffered from rheumatic fever, and the recrudescence of the rheumatic pain
after your terrible experience of the fire and that long chilling swim with so
seemingly hopeless an end to it; the symptoms which I have since noticed,
though they have not been as enlightening to me as they might be. Your disease,
as I have diagnosed it, is an obscure one and not common. I have not before
been able to study a case. All these things give me great hopes.’
‘Thank God!
Thank God!’ the voice from the bed was now a whisper.
‘Thank God! say I too. This that you suffer from is an acute form of
inflammation of the optic nerve. It may of course end badly; in permanent loss
of sight. But I hope—I believe, that in your case it
will not be so. You are young, and you are immensely strong; not merely
muscularly, but in constitution. I can see that you have been an athlete, and
no mean one either. All this will stand to you. But it will take time. It will need
all your own help; all the calm restraint of your body and your mind. I am
doing all that science knows; you must do the rest!’ He waited, giving time to
the other to realise his ideas. Harold lay still for a long time before he
spoke:
‘Doctor.’ The voice was so strangely different that the other was more hopeful at
once. He had feared opposition, or conflict of some kind. He answered as
cheerily as he could:
‘Yes! I am
listening.’
‘You are a good
fellow; and I am grateful to you, both for what you have done and what you have
told me. I cannot say how grateful just yet; hope unmans me at present. But I
think you deserve that I should tell you the truth!’ The other nodded; he
forgot that the speaker could not see.
‘I was not
intending to commit suicide. Such an idea didn’t even enter my head. To me,
suicide is the resource of a coward. I have been in too many tight places to
ever fear that.’
‘Then in the
name of goodness why were you trying to get out of that window?’
‘I wanted to
escape; to get away!’
‘In your shirt
and trousers; and they are not over much! Without even
slippers!’ A faint smile curled round the lips of the injured man. Hope
was beginning to help already.
‘Even that way!’
‘But man alive! you were going to your death. How could you
expect to get away in such an outfit without being discovered? When you were
missed the whole countryside would have been up, and even before the
hue-and-cry the first person who saw you would have taken charge of you.’
‘I know! I know!
I had thought of it all. But I was willing to chance it. I had my own reasons!’
He was silent a while. The Doctor was silent too. Each man was thinking in his
own way. Presently the Doctor spoke:
‘Look here, old
chap! I don’t want to pry into your secrets; but, won’t you let me help you? I
can hold my tongue. I want to help you. You have earned that wish from any man,
and woman too, who saw the burning ship and what you did to save those on
board. There is nothing I would not do for you. Nothing! I don’t ask you to
tell me all; only enough for me to understand and help. I can see that you have
some overpowering wish to get away. Some reason that I cannot fathom, certainly
without a clue. You may trust me, I assure you. If you could look into my face,
my eyes, you would understand. But—There! take my
hand. It may tell you something!’
Harold took the
hand placed in his, and held it close. He pressed his other hand over it also,
as though the effect of the two hands would bring him double knowledge. It was
infinitely pathetic to see him trying to make his untrained fingers do the duty
of his trained eyes. But, trained or not, his hands had their instinct. Laying
down gently the hand he held he said, turning his bandaged eyes in the
direction of his companion:
‘I shall trust
you! Are we alone; absolutely alone?’
‘Absolutely!’
‘Have I your
solemn promise that anything I say shall never go beyond yourself?’
‘I promise. I
can swear, if it will make your mind more easy in the
matter.’
‘What do you
hold most sacred in the world?’ Harold had an odd thought; his question was its
result.
‘All told, I
should think my profession! Perhaps it doesn’t seem to you much to swear by;
but it is all my world! But I have been brought up in
honour, and you may trust my promise—as much as anything I could swear.’
‘All right! My reason for wanting to get away was because I knew Lady de Lannoy!’
‘What!’ Then
after a pause: ‘I should have thought that was a reason for wanting to stay.
She seems not only one of the most beautiful, but the sweetest woman I ever
met.’
‘She is all
that! And a thousand times more!’
‘Then why—Pardon
me!’
‘I cannot tell
you all; but you must take it that my need to get away is imperative.’ After
pondering a while Mr. Hilton said suddenly:
‘I must ask your
pardon again. Are you sure there is no mistake. Lady de Lannoy is not married;
has not been. She is Countess in her own right. It is quite a romance. She
inherited from some old branch of more than three hundred years ago.’ Again
Harold smiled; he quite saw what the other meant.
He answered gravely
‘I understand.
But it does not alter my opinion; my purpose. It is needful—absolutely and
imperatively needful that I get away without her recognising me, or knowing who
I am.’
‘She does not
know you now. She has not seen you yet.’
‘That is why I hoped
to get away in time; before she should recognise me. If I stay quiet and do all
you wish, will you help me?’
‘I will! And what then?’
‘When I am well,
if it should be so, I shall steal away, this time clothed, and disappear out of
her life without her knowing. She may think it ungrateful that one whom she has
treated so well should behave so badly. But that can’t be helped. It is the
lesser evil of the two.’
‘And I must abet
you? All right! I will do it; though you must forgive me if you should ever hear
that I have abused you and said bad things of you. It will have to be all in
the day’s work if I am not ultimately to give you away. I must take steps at
once to keep her from seeing you. I shall have to invent some story; some new
kind of dangerous disease, perhaps. I shall stay here and nurse you myself!’
Harold spoke in joyful gratitude:
‘Oh, you are
good. But can you spare the time? How long will it all take?’
‘Some weeks! Perhaps!’ He paused as if thinking. ‘Perhaps in
a month’s time I shall unbandage your eyes. You will then see; or . . . ’
‘I understand! I
shall be patient!’
In the morning
Mr. Hilton in reporting to Lady de Lannoy told her that he considered it would
be necessary to keep his patient very quiet, both in mind and body. In the
course of the conversation he said:
‘Anything which
might upset him must be studiously avoided. He is not an easy patient to deal
with; he doesn’t like people to go near him. I think, therefore, it will be
well if even you do not see him. He seems to have an odd distrust of people,
especially of women. It may be that he is fretful in his blindness, which is in
itself so trying to a strong man. But besides, the treatment is not calculated
to have a very buoyant effect. It is apt to make a man fretful to lie in the dark, and know that he has to do so for
indefinite weeks. Pilocarpin, and salicylate of soda,
and mercury do not tend towards cheerfulness. Nor do blisters on the forehead
add to the content of life!’
‘I quite
understand,’ said Stephen, ‘and I will be careful not to go near him till he is
well. Please God! it may bring him back his sight.
Thank you a thousand times for your determination to stay with him.’
So it was that
for more than two weeks Harold was kept all alone. No one attended him but the
Doctor. He slept in the patient’s room for the whole of the first week, and
never had him out of sight for more than a few minutes at a time. He was then
able to leave him alone for longer periods, and settled himself in the bedroom
next to him. Every hour or two he would visit him. Occasionally he would be
away for half a day, but never for more. Stephen rigidly observed the Doctor’s
advice herself, and gave strict orders that his instructions were to be obeyed.
Harold himself
went through a period of mental suffering. It was agony to him to think of
Stephen being so near at hand, and yet not to be able to see her, or even to
hear her voice. All the pain of his loss of her affection seemed to crowd back
on him, and with it the new need of escaping from her
unknown. More than ever he felt it would not do that she should ever learn his
identity. Her pity for him, and possibly her woman’s regard for a man’s effort
in time of stress, might lead through the gates of her own self-sacrifice to
his restoration to his old place in her affections. Nay! it
could not be his old place; for at the close of those days she had learned of
his love for her.
The third week
had nearly elapsed, and as yet no one was allowed to see the patient.
For a time
Stephen was inclined to be chagrined. It is not pleasant to have even the most
generous and benevolent intentions thwarted; and she had set her mind on making
much of this man whom fate and his own bravery had thrown athwart her life. But
in these days Stephen was in some ways a changed woman. She had so much that
she wished to forget and that she would have given worlds to recall, that she
could not bear even to think of any militant or even questioning attitude. She
even began to take herself to task more seriously than she had ever done with
regard to social and conventional duties. When she found her house full of so
many and so varied guests, it was borne in upon her that such a position as her
own, with such consequent duties, called for the presence of some elder person
of her own sex and of her own class.
No better proof
of Stephen’s intellectual process and its result could be adduced than her
first act of recognition: she summoned an elderly lady to live with her and
matronise her house. This lady, the widow of a distant relation, complied with
all the charted requirements of respectability, and had what to Stephen’s eyes
was a positive gift: that of minding her own business and not interfering in
any matter whatever. Lady de Lannoy, she felt, was her own master and quite
able to take care of herself. Her own presence was all
that convention required. So she limited herself to this duty, with admirable
result to all, herself included. After a few days Stephen would almost forget
that she was present.
Mr. Hilton kept
bravely to his undertaking. He never gave even a hint of his hopes of the
restoration of sight; and he was so assiduous in his attention that there arose
no opportunity of accidental discovery of the secret. He knew that when the
time did come he would find himself in a very unpleasant situation. Want of
confidence, and even of intentional deceit, might be attributed to him; and he
would not be able to deny nor explain. He was, however; determined to stick to
his word. If he could but save his patient’s sight he would be satisfied.
But to Stephen
all the mystery seemed to grow out of its first shadowy importance into
something real. There was coming to her a vague idea that she would do well not
to manifest any concern, any anxiety, any curiosity.
Instinct was at work; she was content to trust it, and wait.
One forenoon she
received by messenger a letter which interested her much. So much that at first
she was unwilling to show it to anyone, and took it to her own boudoir to read
over again in privacy. She had a sort of feeling of expectancy with regard to
it; such as sensitive natures feel before a thunderstorm. The letter was
natural enough in itself. It was dated that morning from Varilands, a
neighbouring estate which marched with Lannoy to the south.
‘My Dear
Madam,—Will you pardon me a great liberty, and allow my little girl and me to
come to see you to-day? I shall explain when we meet. When I say that we are
Americans and have come seven thousand miles for the purpose, you will, I am
sure, understand that it is no common interest which has brought us, and it
will be the excuse for our eagerness. I should write you more fully, but as the
matter is a confidential one I thought it would be better to speak. We shall be
doubly grateful if you will have the kindness to see us alone. I write as a
mother in making this appeal to your kindness; for my child—she is only a
little over eight years old—has the matter so deeply in her heart that any
disappointment or undue delay would I fear affect her health. We presume to
take your kindness for granted and will call a little before twelve o’clock.
‘I may perhaps
say (in case you should feel any hesitation as to my bona fides) that my
husband purchased some years ago this estate. We were to have come here to live
in the early summer, but were kept in the West by some important business of
his.
‘Believe me,
yours sincerely, ‘Alice Stonehouse.’
Stephen had, of
course, no hesitation as to receiving the lady. Even had there been objection,
the curiosity she had in common with her kind would have swept difficulties
aside. She gave orders that when Mrs. Stonehouse arrived with her daughter they
were to be shown at once into the Mandarin drawing-room. That they would
probably stay for lunch. She would see them alone.
A little before
twelve o’clock Mrs. Stonehouse and Pearl
arrived, and were shown into the room where Lady de Lannoy awaited them. The
high sun, streaming in from the side, shone on her beautiful hair, making it
look like living gold. When the Americans came in they were
for an instant entranced by her beauty. One glance at Mrs. Stonehouse’s
sweet sympathetic face was enough to establish her in Stephen’s good graces
forever. As for Pearl,
she was like one who has unexpectedly seen a fairy or a goddess. She had been
keeping guardedly behind her mother, but on the instant she came out fearlessly
into the open.
Stephen advanced
quickly and shook hands with Mrs. Stonehouse, saying heartily:
‘I am so glad
you have come. I am honoured in being trusted.’
‘Thank you so
much, Lady de Lannoy. I felt that you would not mind, especially when you know
why we came. Indeed I had no choice. Pearl
insisted on it; and when Pearl
is urgent—we who love her have all to give way. This is Pearl!’
In an instant
Stephen was on her knees by the beautiful child.
The red rosebud
of a mouth was raised to her kiss, and the little arms went lovingly round her
neck and clung to her. As the mother looked on delighted she thought she had
never seen a more beautiful sight. The two faces so
different, and yet with so much in common. The red
hair and the flaxen, both tints of gold. The fine colour of each
heightened to a bright flush in their eagerness. Stephen was so little used to
children, and yet loved them so, that all the womanhood in her, which is
possible motherhood, went out in an instant to the lovely eager child. She felt
the keenest pleasure when the little thing, having rubbed her silk-gloved palms
over her face, and then holding her away so that she could see her many
beauties, whispered in her ear:
‘How pretty you
are!’
‘You darling!’
whispered Stephen in reply. ‘We must love each other very much, you and I!’
When the two
ladies had sat down, Stephen holding Pearl
in her lap, Mrs. Stonehouse said:
‘I suppose you
have wondered, Lady de Lannoy, what has brought us here?’
‘Indeed I was
very much interested.’
‘Then I had
better tell you all from the beginning so that you may understand.’ She
proceeded to give the details of the meeting with Mr. Robinson on the Scoriac.
Of how Pearl took to him and insisted on making him her special friend; of the
terrible incident of her being swept overboard, and of the gallant rescue. Mrs.
Stonehouse was much moved as she spoke. All that fearful time, of which the
minutes had seemed years of agony, came back to her so vividly at times that
she could hardly speak. Pearl
listened too; all eagerness, but without fear. Stephen was greatly moved and
held Pearl
close to her all the time, as though protecting her. When the mother spoke of
her feeling when she saw the brave man struggling up and down the giant waves,
and now and again losing sight of him in the trough of the sea, she put out one
hand and held the mother’s with a grasp which vibrated in sympathy, whilst the
great tears welled over in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Pearl, watching her keenly, said nothing, but
taking her tiny cambric handkerchief from her pocket silently wiped the tears
away, and clung all the tighter. It was her turn to protect now!
Pearl’s own time
for tears came when her mother began to tell this new and sympathetic friend of
how she became so much attached to her rescuer that when she knew he would not
be coming to the West with them, but going off to the wildest region of the far
North, her health became impaired; and that it was only when Mr. Robinson
promised to come back to see her within three years that she was at all
comforted. And how, ever since, she had held the man in her heart and thought
of him every day; sleeping as well as waking, for he was a factor in her
dreams!
Stephen was more
than ever moved, for the child’s constancy touched her as well as her grief.
She strained the little thing in her strong young arms, as though the fervency
of her grasp would bring belief and comfort; as it did. She in her turn dried
the others’ eyes. Then Mrs. Stonehouse went on with her story:
‘We were at Banff, high up in the Rockies,
when we read of the burning and wrecking of the Dominion. It is, as you know, a
Montreal boat
of the Allan Line; so that naturally there was a full telegraphic report in all
the Canadian papers. When we read of the brave man who swam ashore with the
line and who was unable to reach the port but swam out across the bay, Pearl took it for granted
that it must have been “The Man,” as she always called Mr. Robinson. When by
the next paper we learned that the man’s name was Robinson nothing would
convince her that it was not her Mr. Robinson. My husband, I may tell you, had
firmly come to the same conclusion. He had ever since the rescue of our child
always looked for any news from Alaska,
whither he knew Mr. Robinson had gone. He learned that up away in the very far
North a new goldfield had been discovered by a man of the same name; and that a
new town, Robinson
City, began to grow up in
the wilderness, where the condition of life from the cold was a new experience
to even the most hardy gold miners. Then we began to
think that the young hero who had so gallantly saved our darling was meeting
some of his reward . . . !’
She paused, her
voice breaking. Stephen was in a glow of holy feeling. Gladness, joy,
gratitude, enthusiasm; she knew not which. It all seemed like a noble dream
which was coming true. Mrs. Stonehouse went on:-
‘From
Californian papers of last month we learned that Robinson, of Robinson City,
had sailed for San Francisco, but had
disappeared when the ship touched at Portland;
and then the whole chain of his identity seemed complete. Nothing would satisfy
Pearl but that we should come at once to England and see
“The Man,” who was wounded and blind, and do what we could for him. Her father
could not then come himself; he had important work on hand which he could not
leave without some preparation. But he is following us and may be here at any
time.
‘And now, we
want you to help us, Lady de Lannoy. We are not sure yet of the identity of Mr.
Robinson, but we shall know the instant we see him, or hear his voice. We have
learned that he is still here. Won’t you let us? Do let us see him as soon as
ever you can!’ There was a pleading tone in her voice which alone would have
moved Stephen, even had she not been wrought up already by the glowing fervour
of her new friend.
But she paused.
She did not know what to say; how to tell them that as yet she herself knew
nothing. She, too, in the depths of her own heart knew—knew—that it was the
same Robinson. And she also knew that both identities were one with another.
The beating of her heart and the wild surging of her blood told her all. She
was afraid to speak lest her voice should betray her.
She could not
even think. She would have to be alone for that.
Mrs. Stonehouse, with the wisdom and power of age, waited, suspending
judgment. But Pearl
was in a fever of anxiety; she could imagine nothing which could keep her away
from The Man. But she saw that there was some difficulty, some cause of delay.
So she too added her pleading. Putting her mouth close to Lady de Lannoy’s ear
she whispered very faintly, very caressingly:
‘What is your
name? Your own name? Your very own
name?’
‘Stephen, my darling!’
‘Oh, won’t you
let us see The Man, Stephen; dear Stephen! I love him so; and I do so want to
see him. It is ages till I see him! Won’t you let me? I shall be so
good—Stephen!’ And she strained her closer in her little arms and kissed her
all over face, cheeks and forehead and eyes and mouth wooingly. Stephen
returned the embrace and the kisses, but remained silent a little longer. Then
she found voice:
‘I hardly know
what to say. Believe me, I should—I shall, do all I can; but the fact is that I
am not in authority. The Doctor has taken him in charge and will not let anyone
go near him: He will not even have a nurse, but watches and attends to him
himself. He says it might be fatal if anything should occur to agitate him.
Why, even I am not allowed to see him!’
‘Haven’t you
seen him yet at all; ever, ever, Stephen?’ asked Pearl, all her timidity gone. Stephen
smiled—a wan smile it was, as she answered:
‘I saw him in
the water, but it was too far away to distinguish. And it was only by
firelight.’
‘Oh yes, I
know,’ said Pearl;
‘Mother and Daddy told me how you had burned the house down to give him light.
Didn’t you want to see him more after that? I should!’ Stephen drew the
impulsive child closer as she answered:
‘Indeed I did,
dear. But I had to think of what was good for him. I went to his room the next
day when he was awake, and the Doctor let me come in for only a moment.’
‘Well! What did
you see. Didn’t you know him?’ She forgot that the
other did not know him from her point of view. But the question went through
Stephen’s heart like a sword. What would she not have given to have known him!
What would she not give to know him now! . . . She spoke mechanically:
‘The room was
quite dark. It is necessary, the Doctor says, that he
be kept in the dark. I saw only a big beard, partly burned away by the fire;
and a great bandage which covered his eyes!’ Pearl’s hold relaxed, she slipped like an eel
to the floor and ran over to her mother. Her new friend was all very well, but
no one would do as well as mother when she was in trouble.
‘Oh mother,
mother! My Robinson had no beard!’ Her mother stroked her face comfortingly as
she answered:
‘But, my dear,
it is more than two years since you saw him. Two years and three months, for it
was in June that we crossed.’ How the date thrilled Stephen. It verified her
assumption.
Mrs. Stonehouse
did not notice, but went on:
‘His beard would
have grown. Men wear beards up in the cold place where he was.’ Pearl kissed her; there
was no need for words. Throwing herself again on Stephen’s knees she went on with
her questioning:
‘But didn’t you
hear him?’
‘I heard very
little, darling. He was very weak. It was only the morning after the wreck, and
he spoke in a whisper!’ Then with an instinct of self-preservation she added:
‘But how could I learn anything by hearing him when he was a stranger to me? I
had never even heard of Mr. Robinson!’
As she was
speaking she found her own ideas, the proofs of her own conviction growing.
This was surely another link in the chain of proving that all three men were
but one. But in such case Harold must know; must have tried to hide his
identity!
She feared, with
keen eyes upon her, to pursue the thought. But her blood began to grow cold and
her brain to swim. With an effort she went on:
‘Even since then
I have not been allowed to go near him. Of course I must obey orders. I am
waiting as patiently as I can. But we must ask the Doctor if he thinks his
patient will see you—will let you see him—though he will not let me.’ This she
added with a touch of what she felt: regret rather than bitter ness. There was
no room for bitterness in her full heart where Harold was concerned.
‘Will you ask
the Doctor now?’ Pearl
did not let grass grow under her feet. For answer Stephen rang the bell, and
when a servant appeared asked:
‘Is Mr. Hilton
in the house?’
‘I think not,
your Ladyship. He said he was going over to Port Lannoch. Shall I inquire if he
left word at what time he would be back?’
‘If you please!’ The man returned in a few minutes with the butler, who said:
‘Mr. Hilton
said, your Ladyship, that he expected to be back by
one o’clock at latest.’
‘Please ask him
on his arrival if he will kindly come here at once. Do not let us be disturbed
until then.’ The butler bowed and withdrew.
‘Now,’ said
Stephen, ‘as we have to wait till our tyrant comes, won’t you tell me all that
went on after The Man had left you?’ Pearl
brightened up at once. Stephen would have given anything to get away even for a
while. Beliefs and hopes and fears were surging up, till she felt choking. But
the habit of her life, especially her life of the last two years, gave her
self-control. And so she waited, trying with all her might to
follow the child’s prattle.
After a long
wait Pearl
exclaimed: ‘Oh! I do wish that Doctor would come. I want to see The Man!’ She
was so restless, marching about the room, that Stephen
said:
‘Would you like to go out on the balcony, darling; of course if Mother
will let you? It is quite safe, I assure you, Mrs. Stonehouse. It is wide and open and
is just above the flower-borders, with a stone tail. You can see the road from
it by which Mr. Hilton comes from Port Lannoch. He will be riding.’ Pearl yielded at once to
the diversion. It would at any rate be something to do, to watch. Stephen
opened the French window and the child ran out on the balcony.
When Stephen
came back to her seat Mrs. Stonehouse said quietly:
‘I am glad she
is away for a few minutes. She has been over wrought, and I am always afraid
for her. She is so sensitive. And after all she is only a baby!’
‘She is a
darling!’ said Stephen impulsively; and she meant it. Mrs. Stonehouse smiled
gratefully as she went on:
‘I suppose you
noticed what a hold on her imagination that episode of Mollie Watford at the
bank had. Mr. Stonehouse is, as perhaps you know, a very rich man. He has made
his fortune himself, and most honourably; and we are all very proud of him, and
of it. So Pearl
does not think of the money for itself. But the feeling was everything; she
really loves Mr. Robinson; as indeed she ought! He has done so much for us that
it would be a pride and a privilege for us to show our gratitude. My husband,
between ourselves, wanted to make him his partner. He
tells me that, quite independent of our feeling towards him, he is just the man
he wanted. And if indeed it was he who discovered the Alaskan goldfield and
organised and ruled Robinson
City, it is a proof that
Mr. Stonehouse’s judgment was sound. Now he is injured, and blind; and our
little Pearl
loves him. If indeed he be the man we believe he is, then we may be able to do
something which all his millions cannot buy. He will come to us, and be as a
son to us, and a brother to Pearl.
We will be his eyes; and nothing but love and patience will guide his
footsteps!’ She paused, her mouth quivering; then she went on:
‘If it is not
our Mr. Robinson, then it will be our pleasure to do all that is necessary for
his comfort. If he is a poor man he will never want . . . It will be a
privilege to save so gallant a man from hardship . . . ’
Here she came to a stop.
Stephen too was
glad of the pause, for the emotion which the words and their remembrances
evoked was choking her. Had not Harold been as her own father’s son. As her own brother! . . . She turned away, fearing lest
her face should betray her.
All at once Mrs.
Stonehouse started to her feet, her face suddenly white with fear; for a cry
had come to their ears. A cry which even Stephen knew as Pearl’s. The mother ran to the window.
The balcony was
empty. She came back into the room, and, ran to the door.
But on the
instant a voice that both women knew was heard from without:
‘Help there!
Help, I say! The child has fainted. Is there no one there? And I am blind!’
Harold had been
in a state of increasing restlessness. The month of waiting which Dr. Hilton
had laid down for him seemed to wear away with extraordinary slowness; this was
increased by the lack of companionship, and further by the cutting off of even
the little episodes usual to daily life. His patience, great as it was
naturally and trained as it had been by the years of self-repression, was
beginning to give way. Often and often there came over him a wild desire to
tear off the irksome bandages and try for himself
whether the hopes held out to him were being even partially justified. He was
restrained only by the fear of perpetual blindness, which came over him in a
sort of cold wave at each reaction. Time, too, added to his fear of discovery;
but he could not but think that his self-sought isolation must be a challenge
to the curiosity of each and all who knew of it. And with all these disturbing
causes came the main one, which never lessened but always grew: that whatever
might happen Stephen would be further from him than
ever. Look at the matter how he would; turn it round in whatsoever possible or
impossible way, he could see no relief to this gloomy conclusion.
For it is in the
nature of love that it creates or enlarges its own pain. If troubles or
difficulties there be from natural causes, then it will exaggerate them into
nightmare proportions. But if there be none, it will create them. Love is in
fact the most serious thing that comes to man; where it exists all else seem as
phantoms, or at best as actualities of lesser degree. During the better part of
two years his troubles had but slept; and as nothing wakes the pangs of old
love better than the sound of a voice, all the old acute pain of love and the
agony that followed its denial were back with him. Surely he could never, never
believe that Stephen did not mean what she had said to him that morning in the
beech grove. All his new resolution not to hamper her with the burden of a
blind and lonely-hearted man was back to the full.
In such mood had he been that morning. He was additionally
disturbed because the Doctor had gone early to Port Lannoch; and as he was the
only person with whom he could talk, he clung to him with something of the
helpless feeling of a frightened child to its nurse.
The day being
full of sunshine the window was open, and only the dark-green blind which
crackled and rustled with every passing breeze made the darkness of the room.
Harold was dressed and lay on a sofa placed back in the room, where the few
rays of light thus entering could not reach him. His eyes and forehead were
bandaged as ever. For some days the Doctor, who had his own reasons and his own
purpose, had not taken them off; so the feeling of blind helplessness was
doubly upon him. He knew he was blind; and he knew also that if he were not he
could not in his present condition see.
All at once he
started up awake. His hearing had in the weeks of darkness grown abnormally
acute, and some trifling sound had recalled him to himself. It might have been
inspiration, but he seemed to be conscious of some presence in the room.
As he rose from
the sofa, with the violent motion of a strong man startled into unconscious
activity, he sent a shock of fear to the eager child who had strayed into the
room through the open window. Had he presented a normal appearance, she would
not have been frightened. She would have recognised his identity despite the
changes, and have sprung to him so impulsively that she would have been in his
arms before she had time to think. But now all she saw was a great beard topped
with a mass of linen and lint, which obscured all the rest of the face and
seemed in the gloom like a gigantic and ominous turban.
In her fright
she screamed out. He in turn, forgetful for the moment of his intention of
silence, called aloud:
‘Who is that?’
Pearl, who had been instinctively backing towards the window by which she had
entered, and whose thoughts in her fright had gone back to her mother—refuge in
time of danger—cried out:
‘Mother, Mother!
It is him! It is The Man!’ She would have run towards him in spite of his
forbidding appearance; but the shock had been too much for her. The little
knees trembled and gave way; the brain reeled; and with a moan she sank on the
floor in a swoon.
Harold knew the
voice the instant she spoke; there was no need for the enlightening words
‘Pearl! Pearl!’ he cried. ‘Come to me, darling!’ But as he spoke he heard her
moan, and the soft thud of her little body on the thick carpet. He guessed the
truth and groped his way towards where the sound had been, for he feared lest
he might trample upon her in too great eagerness. Kneeling by her he touched
her little feet, and then felt his way to her face. And as he did so, such is
the double action of the mind, even in the midst of his care the remembrance
swept across his mind of how he had once knelt in just such manner in an old
church by another little senseless form. In his confusion of mind he lost the
direction of the door, and coming to the window pushed forward the flapping
blind and went out on the balcony. He knew from the freshness of the air and
the distant sounds that he was in the open. This disturbed him, as he wished to
find someone who could attend to the fainting child. But as he had lost the way
back to the room now, he groped along the wall of the Castle with one hand,
whilst he held Pearl
securely in the other. As he went he called out for help.
When he came
opposite the window of the Mandarin room Mrs. Stonehouse saw him; she ran to
him and caught Pearl
in her arms. She was so agitated, so lost in concern for the child that she
never even thought to speak to the man whom she had come so far to seek. She
wailed over the child:
‘Pearl! Pearl!
What is it, darling? It is Mother!’ She laid the girl on the sofa, and taking
the flowers out of a glass began to sprinkle water on the child’s face. Harold
knew her voice and waited in patience. Presently the child sighed; the mother,
relieved, thought of other things at last and looked around her.
There was yet
another trouble. There on the floor, where she had slipped down, lay Lady de
Lannoy in a swoon. She called out instinctively, forgetting for the moment that
the man was blind, but feeling all the old confidence which he had won in her
heart:
‘Oh! Mr.
Robinson, help me! Lady de Lannoy has fainted too, and I do not know what to
do!’ As she spoke she looked up at him and remembered his blindness. But she
had no time to alter her words; the instant she had spoken Harold, who had been
leaning against the window-sash, and whose mind was calmer since with his acute
hearing he too had heard Pearl sigh, seemed to
leap into the room.
‘Where is she?
Where is she? Oh, God, now am I blind indeed!’
It gave her a
pang to hear him and to see him turn helplessly with his arms and hands
outstretched as though he would feel for her in the air.
Without pause,
and under an instinctive and uncontrollable impulse, he tore the bandages from
his eyes. The sun was streaming in. As he met it his eyes blinked and a cry
burst from him; a wild cry whose joy and surprise pierced even through the shut
portals of the swooning woman’s brain. Not for worlds would she ever after have
lost the memory of that sound:
‘Light! light! Oh, God! Oh, God! I am not blind!’
But he looked
round him still in terrified wonder:
‘Where is she?
Where is she? I cannot see her! Stephen! Stephen! where
are you?’ Mrs. Stonehouse, bewildered, pointed where Stephen’s snow-white face
and brilliant hair seemed in the streaming sunlight like ivory and gold:
‘There! There!’
He caught her arm mechanically, and putting his eyes to her wrist, tried to
look along her pointed finger. In an instant he dropped her arm moaning.
‘I cannot see
her! What is it that is over me? This is worse than to be blind!’ He covered
his face with his hands and sobbed.
He felt light
strong fingers on his forehead and hands; fingers whose touch he would have
known had they been laid on him were he no longer quick. A voice whose music he
had heard in his dreams for two long years said softly:
‘I am here,
Harold! I am here! Oh! do not sob like that; it breaks
my heart to hear you!’ He took his hands from his face and held hers in them,
staring intently at her as though his passionate gaze would win through every
obstacle.
That moment he
never forgot. Never could forget! He saw the room all rich in yellow. He saw Pearl, pale but
glad-eyed, lying on a sofa holding the hand of her mother, who stood beside
her. He saw the great high window open, the lines of the covered stone balcony
without, the stretch of green sward all vivid in the sunshine, and beyond it
the blue quivering sea. He saw all but that for which his very soul longed;
without to see which sight itself was valueless . . . But still he looked, and
looked; and Stephen saw in his dark eyes, though he could not see her, that
which made her own eyes fill and the warm red glow on her face again . . . Then
she raised her eyes again, and the gladness of her beating heart seemed the
answer to his own.
For as he looked
he saw, as though emerging from a mist whose obscurity melted with each
instant, what was to him the one face in all the world. He did not think then
of its beauty—that would come later; and besides no beauty of one born of woman
could outmatch the memorised beauty which had so long held his heart. But that
he had so schooled himself in long months of gloomy despair, he would have
taken her in his arms there and then; and, heedless of the presence of others,
have poured out his full heart to her.
Mrs. Stonehouse
saw and understood. So too Pearl, who though a
child was a woman-child; softly they rose up to steal away. But Stephen saw
them; her own instincts, too, told her that her hour had not come. What she
hoped for must come alone! So she called to her guests:
‘Don’t go! Don’t
go, Mrs. Stonehouse. You know now that Harold and I are old friends, though
neither of us knew it—till this moment. We were brought up as . . . almost as
brother and sister. Pearl, isn’t it lovely to see your friend . . . to see The
Man again?’
She was so happy
that she could only express herself, with dignity, through the happiness of
others.
Pearl actually shrieked with
joy as she rushed across the room and flung herself into Harold’s arms as he
stooped to her. He raised her; and she kissed him again and again, and put her
little hands all over his face and stroked, very, very gently, his eyes, and
said:
‘Oh, I am so
glad! And so glad your poor eyes are unbind again! May
I call you Harold, too?’
‘You darling!’
was all he could say as he kissed her, and holding her in one arm went across
and shook hands with Mrs. Stonehouse, who wrung his hand hard.
There was a
little awkwardness in the group, for none of them knew what would be best to do
next. In the midst of it there came a light knock at the door, and Mr. Hilton
entered saying:
‘They told me
you wished to see me at once—Hulloa!’ He rushed across the room and took Harold
by the shoulders, turning his face to the light. He looked in his eyes long and
earnestly, the others holding their breaths. Presently he said, without
relaxing his gaze:
‘Did you see
mistily at first?’
‘Yes.’
‘Seeing at the
periphery; but the centre being opaque?’
‘Yes! How did
you know? Why, I couldn’t see’—see pointing to Stephen—‘Lady de Lannoy; though
her face was right in front of me!’
Dr. Hilton took
his hands from his patient’s shoulders and shook him warmly by both hands:-
‘I am glad, old
fellow! It was worth waiting for, wasn’t it? But I say,
it was a dangerous thing to take off those bandages before I permitted.
However, it has done no harm! But it was lucky that I mistrusted your patience
and put the time for the experiment a week later than I thought necessary . . .
What is it?’ He turned from one to the other questioningly; there was a look on
Harold’s face that he did not quite comprehend.
‘H-s-h,’ said
the latter warningly, ‘I’ll tell you all about it . . . some time!’
The awkward
pause was broken by Pearl,
who came to the Doctor and said:
‘I must kiss
you, you know. It was you who saved The Man’s eyes. Stephen has told me how you
watched him!’ The Doctor was somewhat taken aback; as yet he was ignorant of Pearl’s existence.
However, he raised the child in his arms and kissed her, saying:
‘Thank you, my
dear! I did all I could. But he helped much himself; except at the very last.
Don’t you ever go and take off bandages, if you should ever have the misfortune
to have them on, without the doctor’s permission!’ Pearl nodded her head wisely and then
wriggled out of his arms and came again to Harold, looking up at him
protectingly and saying in an old-fashioned way:
‘How are you
feeling now? None the worse, I hope, Harold!’
The Man lifted
her up and kissed her again. When he set her down she came over to Lady de
Lannoy and held up her arms to be lifted:
‘And I must kiss
you again too, Stephen!’ If Lady de Lannoy hadn’t loved the sweet little thing
already she would have loved her for that!
The door was
opened, and the butler announced:
‘Luncheon is
served, your Ladyship.’
* * * * *
After a few days
Harold went over to Varilands to stay for a while with the Stonehouses. Mr.
Stonehouse had arrived, and both men were rejoiced to meet again. The elder
never betrayed by word or sign that he recognised the identity of the other
person of the drama of whom he had told him and who had come so accidentally
into his life; and the younger was grateful to him for it. Harold went almost
every day to Lannoy, and sometimes the Stonehouses went with him; at other
times Stephen paid flying visits to Varilands. She did not make any effort to
detain Harold; she would not for worlds have made a sign which might influence
him. She was full now of that diffidence which every woman has who loves. She
felt that she must wait; must wait even if the waiting lasted to her grave. She
felt, as every woman does who really loves, that she had found her Master.
And Harold, to
whom something of the same diffidence was an old story, got the idea that her
reticence was a part of the same feeling whose violent expression had sent him
out into the wilderness. And with the thought came the idea of his duty,
implied in her father’s dying trust: ‘Give her time! . . . Let her choose!’ For
him the clock seemed to have stopped for two whole years, and he was back at
the time when the guardianship of his boy life was beginning to yield to the
larger and more selfish guardianship of manhood.
Stephen,
noticing that he did not come near her as closely as she felt he might, and not
realising his true reason—for when did love ever realise the true reason of the
bashfulness of love?—felt a chillness which in turn reacted on her own manner.
And so these two
ardent souls, who yearned for each other’s love and the full expression of it,
seemed as if they might end after all in drifting apart. Each thought that
their secret was concealed. But both secrets were already known to Mrs.
Stonehouse, who knew nothing; and to Mr. Stonehouse, who knew everything. Even Pearl had her own ideas, as
was once shown in a confidence when they were alone in Stephen’s bedroom after
helping her to finish her dressing, just as Stephen herself had at a similar
age helped her Uncle Gilbert. After some coy leading up to the subject of
pretty dresses, the child putting her little mouth to the other’s ear
whispered:
‘May I be your
bridesmaid, Stephen?’ The woman was taken aback; but she had to speak at once,
for the child’s eyes were on her:
‘Of course you
will, darling. But I—I may never be married.’
‘You! You must! I know someone who will make you!’ Stephen’s heart beat hard
and rapidly. The child’s talk, though sweet and dear, was more than
embarrassing. With, however, the desire to play with fire, which is a part of
the nature of women, she answered:
‘You have some
queer ideas, little one, in that pretty knowledge-box of yours.’
‘Oh! he never told me. But I know it all the same! And you know
it too, Stephen!’ This was getting too close to be
without danger; so she tried to divert the thought from herself:
‘My darling, you
may guess about other people, though I don’t say you ought; but you must not
guess about me!’
‘All right!’
then she held up her arms to be lifted on the other’s knee and said:
‘I want to
whisper to you!’ Her voice and manner were so full of feeling that somehow the
other was moved. She bent her head, and Pearl
taking her neck in her little palms, said:
‘I thought, oh! long ago, that I would marry him myself. But you knew him
first . . . And he only saved me . . . But you saved him!’ . . . And then she
laid her head down on the throbbing bosom, and sobbed . . .
And Stephen
sobbed too.
Before they left
the room, Stephen said to her, very gravely, for the issue might be one of
great concern:
‘Of course, Pearl dear, our secrets are all between ourselves!’ Pearl crossed her two
forefingers and kissed them. But she said nothing; she had sworn! Stephen went
on:
‘And, darling,
you will remember too that one must never speak or even think if they can help
it about anyone’s marrying anyone else till they say so themselves! What is it,
dear, that you are smiling at?’
‘I know,
Stephen! I musn’t take off the bandage till the Doctor says so!’
Stephen smiled
and kissed her. Hand in hand, Pearl
chattering merrily, they went down to the drawing-room.
Each day that
passed seemed to add to the trouble in the heart of these young people; to
widen the difficulty of expressing themselves. To Stephen, who had accepted the
new condition of things and whose whole nature had bloomed again under the
sunshine of hope, it was the less intolerable. She had set herself to wait, as
had countless thousands of women before her; and as due proportion will, till
the final cataclysm abolishes earthly unions. But Harold felt the growth, both
positive and negative, as a new torture; and he began to feel that he would be
unable to go through with it. In his heart was the constant struggle of hope;
and in opposition to it the seeming realisation of every new fancy of evil.
That bitter hour, when the whole of creation was for him turned upside down,
was having its sad effect at last. Had it not been for that horrid remembrance
he would have come to believe enough in himself to put his future to the test.
He would have made an opportunity at which Stephen and himself
would have with the fires of their mutual love burned away the encircling mist.
There are times when a single minute of commonsense would turn sorrow into joy;
and yet that minute, our own natures being the opposing forces, will be allowed
to pass.
Those who loved
these young people were much concerned about them. Mrs. Stonehouse took their
trouble so much to heart that she spoke to her husband about it, seriously
advising that one or other of them should make an effort to bring things in the
right way for their happiness. The woman was sure of the woman’s feeling. It is
from men, not women, that women hide their love. By side-glances and unthinking
moments women note and learn. The man knew already, from his own lips, of the
man’s passion. But his lips were sealed by his loyalty; and he said earnestly:
‘My dear, we
must not interfere. Not now, at any rate; we might cause them great trouble. I
am as sure as you are that they really love each other. But they must win
happiness by themselves and through themselves alone. Otherwise it would never
be to them what it ought to be; what it might be; what it will be!’
So these friends
were silent, and the little tragedy developed. Harold’s patience began to give
way under the constant strain of self-suppression. Stephen tried to hide her
love and fear, under the mask of a gracious calm. This the other took for
indifference.
At last there
came an hour which was full of new, hopeless agony to Stephen. She heard
Harold, in a fragment of conversation, speak to Mr. Stonehouse
of the need of returning to Alaska.
That sounded like a word of doom. In her inmost heart she knew that Harold
loved her; and had she been free she would have herself spoken the words which
would have drawn the full truth to them both. But how could she do so, having
the remembrance of that other episode; when, without the reality of love, she
had declared herself? . . . Oh! the shame of it . . .
The folly! . . . And Harold knew it all! How could he ever believe that it was
real this time! . . .
By the exercise
of that self-restraint which long suffering had taught her, Stephen so managed
to control herself that none of her guests realised what a blow she had
received from a casual word. She bore herself gallantly till the last moment.
After the old fashion of her youth, she had from the Castle steps seen their
departure. Then she took her way to her own room, and locked herself in. She
did not often, in these days, give way to tears; when she did cry it was as a
luxury, and not from poignant cause. Her deep emotion was dry-eyed as of old.
Now, she did not cry, she sat still, her hands clasped below her knees, with
set white face gazing out on the far-off sea. For hours she sat there lonely;
staring fixedly all the time, though her thoughts were whirling wildly. At
first she had some vague purpose, which she hoped might eventually work out
into a plan. But thought would not come. Everywhere there was the same
beginning: a wild, burning desire to let Harold understand her feeling towards
him; to blot out, with the conviction of trust and love, those bitter moments
when in the madness of her overstrung passion she had heaped such insult upon
him. Everywhere the same end: an impasse. He seemingly could not, would not,
understand. She knew now that the man had diffidences, forbearances,
self-judgments and self-denials which made for the suppression, in what he
considered to be her interest, of his own desires. This was tragedy indeed!
Again and again came back the remembrance of that bitter regret of her Aunt
Laetitia, which no happiness and no pain of her own had ever been able to
efface:
‘To love; and be helpless! To wait, and wait, and wait; with heart all aflame!
To hope, and hope; till time seemed to have passed away, and all
the world to stand still on your hopeless misery! To know that a word
might open up Heaven; and yet to have to remain mute! To keep back the glances
that could enlighten, to modulate the tones that might betray! To see all you
hoped for passing away . . . !’
At last she
seemed to understand the true force of pride; which has in it a thousand forces
of its own, positive, negative, restrainful. Oh! how
blind she had been! How little she had learned from the miseries that the other
woman whom she loved had suffered! How unsympathetic she had been; how
self-engrossed; how callous to the sensibilities of others! And now to her, in
her turn, had come the same suffering; the same galling of the iron fetters of
pride, and of convention which is its original expression! Must it be that the
very salt of youth must lose its savour, before the joys of youth could be won!
What, after all, was youth if out of its own inherent power it must work its
own destruction! If youth was so, why not then trust the wisdom of age? If
youth could not act for its own redemption . . .
Here the
rudiment of a thought struck her and changed the current of her reason. A
thought so winged with hope that she dared not even try to complete it! . . .
She thought, and thought till the long autumn shadows fell around her. But the
misty purpose had become real.
After dinner she
went up alone to the mill. It was late for a visit, for the Silver Lady kept
early hours. But she found her friend as usual in her room, whose windows swept
the course of the sun. Seeing that her visitor was in a state of mental
disturbance such as she had once before exhibited, she blew out the candles and
took the same seat in the eastern window she had occupied on the night which
they both so well remembered.
Stephen
understood both acts, and was grateful afresh. The darkness would be a help to
her in what she had to say; and the resumption of the old seat and attitude did
away with the awkwardness of new confidence. During the weeks that had passed
Stephen had kept her friend informed of the rescue and progress of the injured
man. Since the discovery of Harold’s identity she had allowed her to infer her
feeling towards him.
Shyly she had
conveyed her hopes that all the bitter part of the past might be wiped out. To
the woman who already knew of the love that had always been, but had only
awakened to consciousness in the absence of its object, a hint was sufficient
to build upon. She had noticed the gloom that had of late been creeping over
the girl’s happiness; and she had been much troubled about it. But she had
thought it wiser to be silent; she well knew that should unhappily the time for
comfort come, it must be precluded by new and more explicit confidence. So she
too had been anxiously waiting the progress of events. Now; as she put her arms
round the girl she said softly; not in the whisper which implies doubt of some
kind, but in the soft voices which conveys sympathy and trust:
‘Tell me, dear
child!’
And then in
broken words shyly spoken, and spoken in such a way that the silences were more
eloquent than the words, the girl conveyed what was in
her heart. The other listened, now and again stroking the
beautiful hair. When all was said, there was a brief pause. The Silver
Lady spoke no word; but the pressure of her delicate hand conveyed sympathy.
In but a
half-conscious way, in words that came so shrinkingly through the darkness that
they hardly reached the ear bent low to catch them, came Stephen’s murmured
thought:
‘Oh, if he only knew! And I can’t tell him; I can’t! dare
not! I must not. How could I dishonour him by bearing myself towards him as to
that other . . . worthless . . . ! Oh! the happy,
happy girls, who have mothers . . . !’ All the muscles of her body seemed to
shrink and collapse, till she was like an inert mass at the Silver Lady’s feet.
But the other
understood!
After a long,
long pause; when Stephen’s sobbing had died away; when each muscle of her body
had become rigid on its return to normal calm; the Silver Lady began to talk of
other matters, and conversation became normal. Stephen’s courage seemed somehow
to be restored, and she talked brightly.
Before they
parted the Silver Lady made a request. She said in her natural voice:
‘Couldst thou
bring that gallant man who saved so many lives, and to whom the Lord was so
good in the restoration of his sight, to see me? Thou knowest I have made a
resolution not to go forth from this calm place whilst I may remain. But I
should like to see him before he returns to that far North where he has done
such wonders. He is evidently a man of kind heart; perhaps he will not mind
coming to see a lonely woman who is no longer young. There is much I should
like to ask him of that land of which nothing was known in my own youth.
Perhaps he will not mind seeing me alone.’ Stephen’s heart beat furiously. She
felt suffocating with new hope, for what could be but good from Harold’s
meeting with that sweet woman who had already brought so much comfort into her
own life? She was abashed, and yet radiant; she seemed to tread on air as she
stood beside her friend saying farewell. She did not wish to speak. So the two
women kissed and parted.
It had been
arranged that two days hence the Stonehouse party were to spend the day at
Lannoy, coming before lunch and staying the night, as they wanted in the
afternoon to return a visit at some distance to the north of Lannoy. Harold was
to ride over with them.
When the
Varilands party arrived, Stephen told them of Sister Ruth’s wish to see Harold.
Pearl at once proffered a request that she also should be
taken at some other time to see the Silver Lady. Harold acquiesced
heartily; and it was agreed that some time in the late afternoon he should pay
the visit. Stephen would bring him.
Strangely
enough, she felt no awkwardness, no trepidation, as they rode up the steep road
to the Mill.
When the
introduction had been effected, and half an hour had been consumed in
conventional small talk, Stephen, obedience to a look from the Silver Lady,
rose. She said in they most natural way she could:
‘Now Sister
Ruth, I will leave you two alone, if you do not mind. Harold can tell you all
you want to know about Alaska;
and perhaps, if you are very good, he will tell some of his adventures! Good
afternoon, dear. I wish you were to be with us to-night; but I know your rule.
I go for my ride. Sultan has had no exercise for five days; and he looked at me
quite reproachfully when we met this morning. Au revoir,
Harold. We shall meet at dinner!’
When she had
gone Harold came back from the door, and stood in the window looking east. The
Silver Lady came and stood beside him. She did not seem to notice his face, but
in the mysterious way of women she watched him keenly. She wished to satisfy
her own mind before she undertook her self-appointed task.
Her eyes were
turned towards the headland towards which Stephen on her white Arab was
galloping at breakneck speed. He was too good a horseman himself, and he knew
her prowess on horseback too well to have any anxiety regarding such a rider at
Stephen. It was not fear, then, that made his face so white, and his eyes to
have such an illimitable sadness.
The Silver Lady
made up her mind. All her instincts were to trust him. She recognised a noble
nature, with which truth would be her surest force.
‘Come,’ she
said, ‘sit here, friend; where another friend has often sat with me. From this
you can see all the coastline, and all that thou
wilt!’ Harold put a chair beside the one she pointed out; and when she was
seated he sat also. She began at once with a desperate courage:
‘I have wanted
much to see thee. I have heard much of thee, before thy coming.’ There was
something in the tone of her voice which arrested his attention, and he looked
keenly at her. Here, in the full light, her face looked sadly white and he
noticed that her lips trembled. He said with all the kindliness of his nature,
for from the first moment he had seen her he had taken to her, her purity and
earnestness and sweetness appealing to some aspiration within him:
‘You are pale! I
fear you are not well! May I call your maid? Can I do anything for you?’ She
waved her hand gently:
‘Nay! It is nothing. It is but the result of a sleepless night and much
thought.’
‘Oh! I wish I
had known! I could have put off my visit; and I could have come any other time
to suit you.’ She smiled gently:
‘I fear that would
have availed but little. It was of thy coming that I was concerned.’ Seeing his
look of amazement, she went on quickly, her voice becoming more
steady as she lost sight of herself in her task:
‘Be patient a
little with me. I am an old woman; and until recently it has been many and many
years since the calm which I sought here has been ruffled. I had come to
believe that for me earthly troubles were no more. But there has come into my
life a new concern. I have heard so much of thee, and before thy coming.’ The
recurrence of the phrase struck him. He would have asked how such could be, but
he deemed it better to wait. She went on:
‘I have been
wishful to ask thy advice. But why should not I tell thee outright that which
troubles me? I am not used, at least for these many years, to dissemble. I can
but trust thee in all; and lean on thy man’s mercy to understand, and to aid
me!’
‘I shall do all
in my power, believe me!’ said Harold simply. ‘Speak freely!’ She pointed out
of the window, where Stephen’s white horse seemed on the mighty sweep of green
sward like a little dot.
‘It is of her
that I would speak to thee!’ Harold’s heart began to beat hard; he felt that
something was coming. The Silver Lady went on:
‘Why thinkest
thou that she rideth at such speed? It is her habit!’ He waited. She continued:
‘Doth it not
seem to thee that such reckless movement is the result of much trouble; that
she seeketh forgetfulness?’ He knew that she was speaking truly; and somehow
the conviction was borne upon him that she knew his secret heart, and was
appealing to it. If it was about Stephen! If her disquiet was about her; then
God bless her! He would be patient and grateful. The Quaker’s voice seemed to
come through his thought, as though she had continued speaking whilst he had
paused:
‘We have all our
own secrets. I have had mine; and I doubt not that thou hast had, may still
have, thine own. Stephen hath hers! May I speak to thee of her?’
‘I shall be
proud! Oh! madam, I thank you with all my heart for
your sweet kindness to her. I cannot say what I feel; for she has always been
very dear to me!’ In the pause before she spoke again the beating of his own
heart seemed to re-echo the quick sounds of Stephen’s galloping horse. He was
surprised at the method of her speech when it did come; for she forgot her
Quaker idiom, and spoke in the phrasing of her youth:
‘Do you love her
still?’
‘With all my soul! More than ever!’
‘Then, God be
thanked; for it is in your power to do much good. To rescue a
poor, human, grieving soul from despair!’ Her words conveyed joy greater
than she knew. Harold did not himself know why the air seemed filled with
sounds that seemed to answer every doubt of his life. He felt, understood, with
that understanding which is quicker than thought. The Silver Lady went on now
with a rush:
‘See, I have
trusted you indeed! I have given away another woman’s secret; but I do it
without fear. I can see that you also are troubled; and when I look back on my
own life and remember the trouble that sent me out of the world; a lonely
recluse here in this spot far from the stress of life, I rejoice that any act
of mine can save such another tragedy as my own. I see that I need not go into
detail. You know that I am speaking truth. It was before you came so heroically
on this new scene that she told me her secret. At a time when nothing was known
of you except that you had disappeared. When she laid bare her poor bleeding
heart to me, she did it in such wise that for an instant I feared that it was a
murder which she had committed. Indeed, she called it so! You understand that I
know all your secret; all her part in it at least. And I know that you
understand what loving duty lies before you. I see it in your eyes; your brave,
true eyes! Go! and the Lord be with thee!’ Her accustomed
idiom had returned with prayer. She turned her head away, and, standing up,
leaned against the window. Bending over, he took her hand and said simply:
‘God bless you!
I shall come back to thank you either to-night or to-morrow; and I hope that she
will be with me.’
He went quickly
out of the room. The woman stood for long looking out of the window, and
following with tear-dimmed eyes the movement of his great black horse as he
swept across country straight as the crow flies, towards the headland whither
Stephen had gone.
* * * * *
Stephen passed
over the wide expanse without thought; certainly without memory of it. Never in
her after-life could she recall any thought that had passed through her mind
from the time she left the open gate of the windmill yard till she pulled up
her smoking, panting horse beside the ruin of the fisher’s house.
Stephen was not
unhappy! She was not happy in any conscious form. She was satisfied rather than
dissatisfied. She was a woman! A woman who waited the coming of a man!
For a while she
stood at the edge of the cliff, and looked at the turmoil of the tide churning
on the rocks below. Her heart went out in a great burst of thankfulness that it
was her hand which had been privileged to aid in rescuing so dear a life. Then
she looked around her. Ostensibly it was to survey the ruined house; but in
reality to search, even then under her lashes, the whole green expanse sloping
up to the windmill for some moving figure. She saw that which made her throat
swell and her ears to hear celestial music. But she would not allow herself to
think, of that at all events. She was all woman now; all-patient, and
all-submissive. She waited the man; and the man was coming!
For a few
minutes she walked round the house as though looking at it critically for some
after-purpose. After the wreck Stephen had suggested to Trinity House that
there should be a lighthouse on the point; and offered to bear the expense of
building it. She was awaiting the answer of the Brethren; and of course nothing
would be done in clearing the ground for any purpose till the answer had come.
She felt now that if that reply was negative, she would herself build there a
pleasure-house of her own.
Then she went to
the edge of the cliff, and went down the zigzag by which the man and horse had
gone to their gallant task. At the edge of the flat rock she sat and thought.
And through all her thoughts passed the rider who even now was thundering
over the green sward on his way to her. In her fancy at first, and later in her ears,
she could hear the sound of his sweeping gallop.
It was thus that
a man should come to a woman!
She had no
doubts now. Her quietude was a hymn of grateful praise!
The sound
stopped. With all her ears she listened, her heart now beginning to beat furiously.
The sea before her, all lines and furrows with the passing tide, was dark under
the shadow of the cliff; and the edge of the shadow was marked with the golden
hue of sunset.
And then she saw
suddenly a pillar of shadow beyond the line of the cliff. It rested but a
moment, moved swiftly along the edge, and then was lost to her eyes.
But to another
sense there was greater comfort: she heard the clatter of rolling pebbles and
the scramble of eager feet. Harold was hastening down the zigzag.
Oh! the music of that sound! It woke all the finer instincts of
the woman. All the dross and thought of self passed away. Nature, sweet and
simple and true, reigned alone. Instinctively she rose and came towards him. In
the simple nobility of her self-surrender and her purpose,
which were at one with the grandeur of nature around her, to be negative
was to be false.
Since he had
spoken with the Silver Lady Harold had swept through the air; the rush of his
foaming horse over the sward had been but a slow physical progress, which
mocked the on-sweep of his mind. In is rapid ride he too had been finding
himself. By the reading of his own soul he knew now that love needs a voice;
that a man’s love, to be welcomed to the full, should be dominant and
self-believing.
When the two saw
each other’s eyes there was no need for words. Harold came close, opening wide
his arms, Stephen flew to them.
In that divine
moment, when their mouths met, both knew that their souls were one.
THE END