POEMS by SHAIL
By
Shailaja Mohan
CONTENTS:
You tell me I was born
Very near midnight
When there was no light
On a very dark night.
Is it my fault
I was born at night??
Tell me Mother
Doesn’t day follow night??
The ink I spilt
Makes you so angry
When it is your son
You are never unhappy.
The frowns are for me,
The smiles are for him.
Why not spare a smile
For me too, Mother??
He’ll take care of you
You always tell me.
I wash the clothes
And vessels too, Mother.
When your back aches
You call me, to your side
To rub it for you
Not your son, Mother.
You tell me I am a girl
Nothing but a girl
Is it my mistake
Aren’t you one, Mother??
Love lights up your eyes
When your son you espy
Am I not your child
Just as him, Mother??
Will I ever see
Your eyes shine for me
Or is it my fate
To see only hate??
Mother, they say
Is an endless sea of love
Is it my destiny
Never ever to swim that sea??
· Shailaja Mohan (Jan 2007)
~the end~
Don’t turn your back father
Look at me, answer me.
I am your daughter.
Your very flesh and blood.
The child, the very same
Who your princess has been.
For whom you sang lullabies
Rocking her to sleep.
Whose hand you held steady
As she wrote A to Zee
For whom you became an elephant
So the rider she could be.
Who sat atop your shoulders
The world the better to see..
I have grown up dear father
A true Princess become.
The day I met my Prince
And gave my heart to him.
I asked not his caste,
His color or creed
Nor about the Gods
Before whom he bowed his head.
Yes I fell in love father
Not seeking your consent
Is that a crime, tell me
Has love ever known bounds any??
Don’t turn away father
Look at me, answer me.
Will you not bless your little one
And hold her close to your heart??
Is your pride the winner
Our bond the sorry loser,
Just because the man I chose
Is not your choice father??
I hold my tears prisoners
They twinkle in my eyes.
I look at you and wonder
At this new hardness I see
It hides the tender heart I know
The one that loved me so..
Did you not always wipe my tears
Whenever I ran to you??
And today when I stand here
You won't my way look..
I shall not let the tears flow
Nor let them show
Since you will not wipe them
Let them sparkle forever
Adorning these eyes of mine,
Father dear father...
- Shailaja Mohan (March 2007)
~the end~
A strange sadness
fills my heart.
I know not from where
its cold clammy talons
have wound itself
around my heart.
Why have the skies gone dark??
From whence
comes the chilly wind??
Is there an answer??
Does it lie within
or somewhere without??
Is it in my heart
or is it in yours??
Can it be sought
in the life around
or is it hidden
like the precious pearl
in the blue waters of the seas??
Do the winds hold the secret
the clouds or the trees??
Does it lie hidden
deep in the earth.
where the farmer’s plough
never can reach it??
If you know the answer
will you tell me, my love
for I searched high and low
within and without
but haven't found it yet.
- Shailaja Mohan (April 2007)
~the end~
Hunger burns scorches and chars
Singes my flesh, sears my soul.
The fiery flame rises, flares and blazes
Turning to ashes, the heart’s desires.
I snatch at the scraps thrown my way
Clutch at the straws that blow my way
Nothing is mine its all half-eaten
When hunger gnaws I grab, I’m fallen.
They throw me bits and pieces
Leftovers that nobody wants
From laden tables and heaped plates
The full hearts, their fuller lives.
When the smoldering flame gains and pains
And the longing grows, is too much to bear
I bow my head, I bury my pride
I stretch my arms to beg for alms.
I am an urchin, a lonely waif
Looking for one who has something to spare
Foraging bins, roaming the streets
Dreaming wild dreams that will never be....
- Shailaja Mohan (May 2007)
~the end~
Across time across space
From some faraway land
Like the soft gentle
breeze
You touched me awake
Fanning to a blaze
The
embers within.
A fragrance long forgotten
Of a sweet scented flower
Set my senses aflame
Made me
come alive.
Who are you stranger??
Have we met before??
Why does it seem
I have known you since
long??
Across time across space
From some far away land
You breathed life into me
Without having ever met.
Our hands haven’t touched
Lips never kissed
The love-light in yours
My eyes have never seen.
Yet why do I feel
I have known you since
eons
That you and me were one
In lives long gone??
Across time across space
From some faraway land
I hear your silent call
It speaks softly to my
heart
Gives me wings to soar and
fly
Weightless,
in the blue sky.
When your voice grows
faint
All around is darkness
The chill makes me shiver
Tears sting they simply
flow.
Across time across space
In this faraway land
I wait for you my love
To bring me some
answers...
- Shailaja Mohan (2007)
~the end~